Should I tell my boyfriend that I'm a stripper?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. He is the 2nd person I've been with. I haven't been in a relationship in a while and don't want to loose him. Anyways...Should I tell him that I'm a stripper? I work during the week as a nanny. But about once or twice a month I travel to another state to make some extra money. Should I tell him about my other job. I don't want him to change his opinion of me. He thinks I'm this sweet innocent girl-I mean, I am, but I don't want him to think I'm not...What do you think?

Updates

+1 y

I'm pretty sure he won't find out on his own because it's in another state, where nobody knows me or him. Plus I wear makeup and a wig so I look way different.

Updates

+1 y

I told him yesterday. He was like "oh I thought you were gonna say something bad". He actually likes it! He said he wants to go with me next weekend. He just said don't change who you are, but he's fine with it and promises not to tell anyone so I'm happy

[missnicole]

If you plan to keep stripping, you should definitely tell him. He may end up not having a problem with it, but feel offended that you didn't feel comfortable coming to him about it...afterall, you have been dating for 9 months... If he has a problem with it, and you don't intend to quit, then at the least you respected him him emough to be honest with him and allow him to make a choice to stay or go, whatever his personal beliefs on the matter is.

I do work in the adult industry, I was in it before I met my bf, but when we were together for about 3mths, I really felt like this could become serious, and I knew I had to tell him...I didn't want to lie or keep secrets. I built it up so much with the "please don't feel differently about me" and "I hope this doesn't change what you think!" that when I finally spit it out, he was SO relieved.. LoL.. He figured it was adult related and braced himself with every worst case scenario...that when he found out what I did, it was so tame in comparison to what he had in his head ;)

Telling him actually brought us even closer, cause he could tell how nervous and scared I was of what he'd think of me, or what he'd do...and he could tell that he mattered a lot to me... We've been together 2y now, and he's still very supportive of what I do...I absolutely adore him for that and appreciate it.

[Asker]

Aww well congrats I'm so glad it worked out for you and your bf. Yea he knows I have a secret now-but he doesn't know what it is. He wanted to make plans for next week and I was like sorry can't got some business to take care of. And he was like what's going on with you? So I said I just like to keep some things to myself-that if I told him and he told anyone-I could have some problems. I told him that I need time and I might tell him later. I'm just worried if we break up he'll tell someone.

[missnicole]

Do you really think he would go against your wishes and tell anyone? That right there is a matter of trust... If you don't trust him, and he knows you doubt he can keep something private between you, that in itself could cause problems. I asked my boyfriend not to tell anyone and though he thinks what I do is amazingly sexy and wishes he could tell just for bragging rights...lol! I've no doubt he hasn't told....his close friends joke "how can a sweet girl like you stand him?" cause he can be so raunchy

[Asker]

Lol. Wow in two years he's told no one? nice. My boyfriend is being very understanding, he's just please tell me soon...just don't let it be that you were born a boy! lol! Does your boyfriend watch you work?

[missnicole]

LMFAO @ being born a boy... poor guy, he's thinking though! LoL... It may be the same thing, where he's already so freaked out by the worst, that when he finds out you're a stripper he will be like..oh thank god that's all it is! hehe!! And yeah, my guy has told no one. He really does respect my privacy...and he's told me things that are very private too. It really is nice having someone where we confide in each other like that...Ive neve let anyone get that close before..we both "earned" it =)

[Asker]

I have a feeling if I tell him, he'll want to come in the club and watch me. Does your boyfriend ever come watch you? Does he ever get jealous or do you feel awkward about him being there?

[missnicole]

He has said he'd like to watch me work, but it hasn't happened yet...we both have rough schedules...though he has helped me make videos and given me a lot of great ideas that I have used.. He knows they are getting a character, not the real me. My character is incredibly cruel and dominating...I get paid to treat guys like crap... I'm nothing at all like that...and he loves the me that I am, that he gets all to himself =)

[Asker]

You were right telling him has brought us closer and our bond has gotten way stronger. He's more crazy about me than ever. He promised to keep it a secret. And he thinks it's incrediblly sexy too lol

[missnicole]

I love happy endings!!! Great to hear the news...sounds like a great guy =D

[Daydreamer]

I would tell him...either tell him straight forward or quit. I know you say that it's in a different state and all, but you never know what could happen, and plus what if the people you nanny for find out?

[Asker]

I doubt they will. but I'm thinking about quitting because I make in one day what takes me 2 months to make as a nanny.

[lolomfglmao]

I wouldn't like it if my girlfriend was a stripper. No offence, I don't mind strippers cos I've had a few private sessions myself haha :p

But I'd constantly worry about all other guys and the fact that their lookin at you in a sexual way...and they don't know that you have a boyfriend and they probably won't really care. Anything could happen to you :( So be careful. So, I'd tell him.There's other jobs you can do without showing flesh :) Good Luck x

[Asker]

Thanks

[FrozenDonkeyWheel]

Wow, it would have been better for you to tell him a long time ago than to wait this long and tell him, but yeah, you should definitely tell him now before he finds out on his own. If it's at all possible, maybe you could quit, and then tell him, because he'd probably take it better if he knew you weren't doing it anymore, but if you can't afford to give up the money, you should still definitely tell him.

[Asker]

Well it hasn't been that long because I just started in May

[FrozenDonkeyWheel]

Oh, okay. Well, then I doubt he'll get particularly furious when he finds out, unless he's irrational about it.

What happens if he finds your makeup and wig?

[Asker]

Well I live with my parents (they have a thing against guys being in the house even tho I'm21 lol) so he's never been to my house or in my room where I keep my stuff

[gotc147]

Just my opinion, but it's better that he find out by you telling him rather than him finding out on his own.

[Asker]

Well he's getting out of the military soon and moving so we'll probablly break up anyway...so is there still a point in telling him if we might break up?

[gotc147]

What if you don't break up? Don't jump to conclusions, cover all your bases.

[Asker]

I know. What would you do if it was your gf?

[gotc147]

I'm not really the best person to ask because I believe too strongly in letting people be who they want to be rather than what society and everybody tells them to be. It wouldn't bother me so much that you're a stripper, but rather that you kept it from me.

[Polaris80]

If you're a stripper, you're *not* entirely a sweet innocent girl. You can't have it both ways, and that kind of cognitive dissonance is why you're hiding this job from your boyfriend.

[Asker]

It's just a job-not who I really am. I don't care what you think you don't know me.

[BrudaIZ]

agreed with gotc,

he would much rather you slowly tell him, then him just eventually see you somewhere.

[Asker]

How do I tell him slowly?

[BrudaIZ]

First, just make sure he know that you are without a doubt 100% faithful to him and only him.

That will give him some confidence.

Second, maybe bring him to one, that could go well.

Just to show how you do business, but make sure there's no touching.

But to tell him just make sure he know your faithful, and slowly hint to him what it is you do.

Just make sure He's in a great mood, like a game and a beer.

hope I helped.

[FrozenDonkeyWheel]

Well, that's great, then. I'm glad everything worked out for you.

[RebeccaSJ]

Better that you tell him than that he finds out.

[BrudaIZ]

That's a great and very lucky man.