I used to be a stripper, should I tell him?

[Anonymous]

I used to be a stripper a few years ago on and off for about 5 years. I put myself through school with the $ I made, bought a house, car, etc... Should I tell my new boyfriend about it or wait til we are fully established?

The reason I want to tell him is because, I don't want to keep secrets. Today, he said that I'm intriguing because, I have a stripper body, innocent face, accountant brain and cook a mean meal. I nearly passed out when he said the word stripper.

Then he said, I'm too good to be true. Then jokingly said "there has to be something wrong with you".

I feel like a sneak. Should I tell him? I don't want to ruin what we have.

Updates

+1 y

I told him and turns out he used to be one too. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Meh. I wouldn't tell him. You're done with that part of your life and you made it out unscathed. Seems like you did what most girls fail to do -- accomplish the goals they set for themselves at the onset.

Congrats on all your success. No need to freak your boyfriend out over something that was years ago. As long as you remained clean (no hardcore drugs, alcoholism, extras, etc.) there's no cause for concern or to feel like you're lying. Everyone has a past.

[Asker]

I never drank when I was there and never went to the parties or went out with the customers. I feel like if I don't tell him, I'm keeping a dirty secret. If he ever found out, I would be crushed. :(

[Opinion Owner]

Uhh I have a sister who does it and hides it from everyone but me and my other sister and our dad. She hid it from her ex and all the people we know. She danced in the big city where we study and also closer to home, where she could've been noticed by anyone.

If you feel like you should tell him, you should. But don't just do it to appease your conscience. You may end up hurting him unnecessarily.

[Asker]

hmmm... I never thought of it that way. I could end up hurting him because, he knows me the way I am now. Oh man...

[Anonymous]

I think you should tell him..But let him know that was your past life and you worked to support yourself through school..If he really loves and care about you he will learn to accept your past and move forward there is no one on this earth that is perfect..And I applaud you for being so independent so don't feel bad about it !

[Asker]

I didn't do it consistently because I hated it so much. It was so hard to make the kind of $ I needed to go to school, eat and have some sort of a life. It sounds like lame excuses but, that's what happened.

[Opinion Owner]

i don't think its lame..i mean you had to what was neecessary to futher your education...and if stripping was what you chose then that's what you chose! I just say don't feel so bad about it just let him know when you feel like your ready to explain to him but don't wait to late

[Asker]

Yes, I will. I don't want him to find out somehow. Not many people know but, still...

[sporty2014]

If you feel your relationship is getting serious, then I would tell him.

[Asker]

Yes, I'll wait. I can't lie forever

[sporty2014]

dont lie then. tell him now if you feel comfortable to. just explain why you had to do it

[Asker]

I'm going to be completely honest. I think I'll wait a bit longer first. Lots of guys think it's hot to date a stripper but, when it really happens they hate it that hundreds of men have been looking at and fantasizing about their woman.

[sporty2014]

yeah, I know what you mean. well good luck

[Asker]

Thanks for not judging me. :)

[sporty2014]

youre welcome.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Imo tell him if you guys are talking about your past or feels relevant to bring it up, definitely don't bring it up outta nowhere. You definitely shouldn't keep secrets. If he can't get over it, oh well, then you move on. But it's best to share your past, present, and future goals with your boyfriend/girlfriend so you can build a stronger relationship.

[Asker]

That's what I'm saying... it's not good to keep secrets. :(

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Ya, if he handles it bad, then he just wasn't worth it :\

[Asker]

yes, exactly. People make poor choices sometimes.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

He was a stripper too? lol. That's funny.

[Asker]

Yea, I couldn't believe it! When I was telling him, he was just listening quietly. Then said, it's not a big deal as long as you didn't do extras on the side or get into drugs. Then started asking question like, why did I do it, how long, what club, rules of the club, costume choices, etc. Then blurted out... I DID IT TOO! You should have seen my face. LOL!

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

That's amusing. You two can strip for each other for sexy fun I guess :P

[Asker]

Actually, we're both just always naked when we're home. Cooking, cleaning, whatever.. I love it this way cause, my other bf's used to complain that I'm always naked. Now I have someone that's just as comfortable. :)

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Ah that's cool. And I don't see why a guy would care. I certainly wouldn't if I had a girlfriend that enjoyed being naked around the house as long as the windows are covered so others don't peep in :P

[Anonymous]

How long were you stripping? How far did the contact with the guys go?

[Asker]

I did it on and off for 5 years. In reality it works out to about 1.5 years. There was ZERO contact allowed where I worked. There was a min 1 foot rule and if it was broken you get suspended, fired or if it was the guy that crossed the line, he gets a warning or kicked out.

[Opinion Owner]

That doesn't sound so bad. Especially if you still have the stripper body to make up for it.

[Opinion Owner]

So good sized package then, huh?

[Asker]

Well... lets just say I'm happy. :)

[Opinion Owner]

Sweet! How much pipe is your stripper boyfriend swinging? I'm guessing if he's a stripper he must be a "shower" too, huh? What was your reaction the first time you saw it?

[Asker]

He has a beautiful body and face so, it was a nice surprise. I breathed a sigh of relief. I think he's about 8" or so and it's a good looking one too.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha! Cool. Why a sigh of relief? That's an interesting reaction to seeing a c0ck! The first time you saw it, was it already fully hard or did you play with it until it got to the full 8"? I'd imagine a stripper must be hanging pretty low even when he's soft, huh?

[Asker]

I didn't "see", I felt it (with my hand).

Here's a little secret... when a girl reaches in, there's a moment of anticipation... then it's follow by either relief or disappointment. I talked to some of my girlfriends about this and they all do the same thing. At this point you either just stick to fooling around or finish what you started. Sounds bad, I know

[Opinion Owner]

Interesting. So in your case, by the time you reached in was the flag fully raised or was he just so big soft that it didn't matter? And for you, where's the line between relief and disappointment usually? And how many guys have you been with in each camp? This is fascinating stuff!

[Asker]

Oh boy... I didn't expect my post to turn into this. He was more than 1/2 way.

The line between disappointment and relief is short and thin. I haven't been with many guys but, I've run into only one "baby" out of the 6 men I've been with. 1 bigger than my boyfriend now and the rest were avg.

[Opinion Owner]

Bigger than a stripper! Dang! What was that guy packing? Was it uncomfortable or still good, or great? And what about baby-man? What was he working with?

It's especially interesting to get the perspective of a stripper. Even though you didn't have any contact, you must've seen more than your fair share of tented pants in your day!

[Asker]

I'm not sure how many inches but, sometimes it really hurt and I could only handle missionary part way in.

As for the "tents" I was doing a "job" and could care less about the guys or their packages. All I cared about was making money and getting the heck out. Sorry... but, I'm being honest.

[Opinion Owner]

No need to apologize! That's cool. I appreciate the honesty. I guess that makes sense. It's just a job like any other. Have you and your guy talked about your experiences as strippers with each other in more detail? THAT would be fascinating to hear! I bet it's so different. Like most of the guys probably ran home and whacked it. I get the sense it's different for his customers, but maybe I'm wrong.

[Asker]

Yes, we talked about it. I think it's worse for guys because, they get grabbed by crazy, out of control cougars. There's nothing they can do to protect themselves just try and laugh it off. You're a man, you're supposed to just take the abuse. That's why my boyfriend quit after less than a month.

Girls get guys kicked out or beaten up if they cross the line. For the most part, female strippers sometimes have gross things said to them but, don't get groped by psychos(at least where I worked).

[Opinion Owner]

Were the girls actually trying to injure him? Or did they just want to stroke him? Did they stroke him to completion? And if so, where was he supposed to cum?

[Asker]

They don't try to injure him they all kind of attack and want to touch it. I went to a male club before, and saw what happens. Its really gross how these women act like they never saw penis before. Cackling and pulling the guys clothes like a pack of wolves.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow! That is pretty crazy! So do they just touch it or do they jack him off? I'd imagine that with a bunch of girls stroking the stripper's d*ck, he must get hard eventually.

[Asker]

It's not a stroking, enjoyable thing. It's a mob of crazies poking at you and cackling.

[Opinion Owner]

That does sound like a lot less fun. Are the guys supposed to be hard or are they supposed to be floppy? Do the have to stroke themselves in front of the crowd? That'd be uncomfortable I think.

[Asker]

It's so not enjoyable that the guys jerk off in private first and put on a **** ring to stay hard before the show. Every guy I ever knew that did that, hates the job. Women are crazier than men in strip clubs. They can get scary

[Asker]

Why the ?'s. You want to do it? I guarantee you'll hate it. When all those fat, middle aged, hungry woman start attacking... LOL

[Opinion Owner]

LMFAO! No, not interested in doing it myself. Just curious. I've been to strip clubs with girls before but never with guys, so I was just curious as to how it works. All of my naked time has only ever been with an audience of one girl--which is plenty for me!

But it's not every day you come across a two-stripper relationship, so I thought I'd ask whatever questions came to mind! But yeah--I have no interest in getting naked for a bunch of fat ugly old chicks!

[Asker]

There are so many strip clubs out here that I swear one in 10 people has tried it at least once. I just don't like to talk about my experience openly. I used to travel far away from my area so nobody would know

[Opinion Owner]

Well I appreciate your sharing. And there's NO WAY that 1 in 10 people are even attractive enough to be strippers. How far away did you have to go for work? Did anyone you know ever see you?

[Asker]

That's a popular misconception. Not all strippers are good looking and have good bodies. I saw one of the most bizarre face/body combos in a strip club when I was touring. her legs were popsicle sticks and her body looked like a big block of melted cheese. It was a very strange body. Never seen anything like it since.

When I started I went 2 hours out of my way then started touring for a summer.

[Opinion Owner]

Whoa! You went touring? Like a band? Strippers do that? How does that work? Where did you go? That's wild!

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

wow, your girlfriends are shallow lol. Not every guy is a shower. And I doubt he's 8 inches. Women have such p*ss poor understanding of size because they, by genetics, have worse depth perception and whatnot than men. Though, while it's possible he is 8 inches, given the average? I imagine that's what ti is. Doesn't mean he couldn't still be a stripper cause, well, girls are generally more into the whole body than just the penis from what I've learned.

[Asker]

Yes, one of my old high school teachers saw me. It was so awkward. He couldn't look at me and I couldn't look at him. Very uncomfortable situation. Thank God I wasn't on stage when he was there.

[Asker]

Not all dancers tour. To tour you have to have themed costumes and you get a salary. There's no need to "work the room" unless you want more $.

TheGodEmperorLeto is right about the size thing. If you have a beautiful body, an avg one is good enough to be a male dancer. About my friends being shallow, it could totally be a bragging thing just like guys do. I dated the "baby" guy for a while but, I wasn't sleeping with a him cause, it did nothing for me. I just liked him as a person.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

But could have done something for him. If you date someone you should love them and if you love em should be willing to try and please em lol. Besides, you only need 3-4 inches to hit the G-spot. So unless it was REALLY small (which I have heard of from I think Howard Stern when he had that contest) I dunno...

Ah well. I know I'm only average or so and I don't care lol.

[Asker]

Only reason I was with him was because, I loved him but, the sex was horrible. I stuck around for 2 years. Believe me I tried. From my experience, avg is best. Too big is bad too.

[Opinion Owner]

Were you dating any of those guys while you were a stripper? Did they find out?

[Asker]

I dated 2 of my exes while I did that. The 2nd one forced me to quit by threatening to leave me. I'm glad he did cause, I was getting addicted to the "easy" $

[Opinion Owner]

That's cool. And it's kinda hilarious that one of your high school teachers saw you! It would have been REALLY funny had he seen you taking it off on stage! Haha! I'd imagine it was a bit traumatic. Did he stick around or leave as soon as he saw you?

[Asker]

he was with his friends so he couldn't leave but, avoided eye contact.

[Brando]

Tell him if the topic comes up, or if the conversation seems appropriate for what you two are talking about.

[Asker]

timing would be so important. I know he's not a fan of strip clubs but, he could just be saying that. Who knows?

[Brando]

I think it's important that he can accept everything about you. It would be tough for most guys to really come to grips with it, but it's something that he'll eventually have to confront.

[Asker]

If we are going to be serious, he needs to know the good and bad stuff about me. *sigh* I wish I never did it but, I felt it was my only choice at that time. :(

[Brando]

But like I'm sure you feel judging by this question you're asking, it seems like you didn't do stripping because it was like a fantasy or you liked it. You're paid to like a guy, dance for him, and make him have a good time. Sure it's more than most girls do for work, but you weren't f***ing anyone (I assume) and you weren't interested in your customers (again, I assume).

I don't think you should feel regret over what you did in the past.

[Asker]

You got it all right. I didn't do it because, I thought it was cool or because, I love to have men drool over me. I didn't prostitute on the side, do drugs or party with the others.

Actually, when I wasn't "working" I was pissed off if a guy hit on me. Until I met my boyfriend, I didn't take anything men said at face value. You could say that the industry made me sour against men but, he somehow took that all away. :) He's so amazing!

[Brando]

Since he's able to break through your "sour shield", maybe he's also worthy to be told your history. Again though, if it fits into what you all are talking about or if it is something that you feel needs to be said.

[Asker]

Yes, you're right. Thanks Brando :)

[Brando]

Your welcome :)

[Brando]

I lol'd @ the update

[Anonymous]

4 days ago, so I might be the first to comment with the new update. It sounds to me like two beautiful people with a very special background got together. congrats.

[virgininla]

Don't tell him until you are established as a couple. This is going to be a big shock to him

[Scarecrow13]

You should tell him at some point if you are getting serious. Early on perhaps not but it's true you shouldn't keep secrets.

[Shaun]

Sounds lucrative, why did you get out of it?

[Asker]

I hated it. All those men looking at me and trying to "date" me. It's not fun at all unless you're into it for drugs or you're an attention whore. Also, my family would be so ashamed if they knew

[Shaun]

He'd probably hate it as much as you.

[Shaun]

I have to be honest, I wouldn't date an ex-stripper and I'd be really hurt and upset if that little piece of information was kept from me.

[Asker]

Exactly! I'm glad you're honest about it. Lots of guys think it's "hot" but, in reality they don't want the woman they love being an object.

[Shaun]

I think it all comes down to whether or not you believe a person has the right to choose for themselves who they are with, with full disclosure.

[Asker]

true. I have to see what he thinks about the scenario first before disclosing.

[bel42]

tell him whenever you feel comfortable doing so.

[kermitthehog]

hahahaha. it was meant to be.