Why are men no longer interested in marriage?

[Anonymous]

A Pew Research Center study found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time.

www.lifesitenews.com/.../young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore

Why do you think men are not interested in marriage anymore?

[SweedyPie]

Traditionally, a man would have to marry a woman in order to enjoy the benefits of having a companion, not only sexually but also just someone who is there for them. However as society progresses that norm is being undermined since we as a people are more free, more open and slower to settle into actual relationships. A guy can sleep with a woman easily now as compared to before when the male and female only have sex when married. Nowadays the age at which people begin having sexual relations is getting lower whereby even preteens are already sexually active, we see eight-ten years olds talking about first kisses. Barely are there people who keep their virginity till marriage, saying that you need to know if sexual chemistry is good before marriage. So if the guy can get sex without the ring on the finger and the better or worse, I guess they say why not? Also, women are becoming more independent and we find that women are not as needy of men as previously, to the point where they can even get a sperm donor and have children if they don't have a man. Although men may not consciously consider the more independent nature of woman a deterrent, naturally a man has the desire to be the one who is the head of the household (I don't mean in a dictatorship way), the one the woman relies on and needs. So the decrease in women who are willing to acknowledge the man as the head and be needing of them the way that men need to feel needed probably also makes it harder for men to want to settle down.

[Asker]

You make some good points here. You twist some, and you miss some important ones as well.

[skullly]

WOT? Were they ever?
o.0

I think they were mostly interested in reproducing with as many women as possible.. Never to be attached to just and solely one. Even those that want to have a family with only one woman and have that pretty picture perfect appearance, they do still fantasize about sexual intercourse with other women, cause it's their nature. Men do no like to be attached. The End.

[Asker]

Women like you are the reason men don't want to get married.

[MaskedSanity]

Have you seen how courts treat men in divorce cases?

It would be pretty stupid for a man to get married given that women are favoured in an overwhelming majority of cases, just on the basis that they're women and are supposedly more "nurturing" and other sexist bullshit.

If I was a bloke, I sure as hell wouldn't get married. Hell, I'm pretty against marriage as a girl. Fuck that shit.

[chocolatedragon]

There's crappy incentive to get married nowadays.

If you remove religious reasons, there's a couple tax benefits but besides that, not many incentives. And seeing how so many are ending in divorce or are bad, the appeal is not strong. Let's just say that in this new day and age, many young men rather enjoy freedom before promising themselves to a woman.

And some are also baffled by marriage's ridiculous sexual logic. I can omy bang you after spending money on a ring, 10 hr party and giving you access to half my fortune in case we divorce. All the benefits of marriage seem like pros for women, but too many cons for men.

I'm not against marriage, I just don't see it as a necessity. Now if I were to date a girl who would want to get married in the future, then she would most likely have to sign a prenup and give promise that her sex drive won't fade down too quick. But that's just me. And I think many young men can agree with me.

[MaskedSanity]

Hell, a guy doesn't even need to get married to get screwed over by an ex.

My boyfriend's best mate got engaged, then two months later she broke it off, KEPT the £2000 ring, his car and a bunch if cash he lent to her and ran off. They weren't even married and she was a still a massive cunt to him.

Didn't like her from the start, to be honest.

[Sleekxxtra]

Women are lazy, don't like to cook, don't clean and just like to sit there and look pretty. That is the reason why I wouldn't consider marriage with a lot of women. I have met women who are the opposite and they are the ones I find very attractive and would love to make them my wife (a new Co worker is like this and I'm working my way to becoming her boyfriend) because I want the marriage my parents have would be why I haven't gotten married with just any girl. I'm a picky guy when it comes down to dating.

[Asker]

Good for you bro. Hold out for a good woman. They do still exist. There is no reason to settle.

[ironeddie]

"picky" I guess you can call it that. I'm sure others may have different words that would work too.

[MaskedSanity]

So... you want a maid, then.

Marriage =/= woman replaces your mother.

[Sleekxxtra]

@MaskedInsanity Not a maid but a wife and mother. To each their own I surely don't want to be with a lazy girl. I'm not saying I want a girl like my mom but the marriage my parents have clearly you didn't read it right.

[MaskedSanity]

If you claim that women are "lazy", do you apply the same judgement to yourself?
Define "lazy woman" to me, please.

[Sleekxxtra]

@MaskedInsanity my definition on a lazy woman is one who wouldn't clean up the house, get a job, won't cook at home and would rather just heat food up and won't amount to anything in the relationship. But like I said I've met women who are the opposite and those are the ones who I am attracted to especially the ones who work and love their life and don't complain I understand if you work and come tired you wouldn't want to do much as its been a long day and a girl would be stressed out no problem with that but most women seem to not want to work and just go out. But like I said I met the opposite and those are the ones who are worth being with as they can brighten a man's day every morning. Never once did I say all women I said "most".

[Anonx3]

Yes!! I respect you for that, and it is so true women have become lazy. No I'm not against feminism, I love equality but you can't aspect to get a prince charming, if you are a slob, get take outs 24/7, and then have a shitty personality too. I'm pretty sure no women what's a douche bag, so why be one?

[Procharger]

Honestly someone that has gone through two divorces there is really no benefit for a man to get a divorce... If anything we men try to avoid it at any cost. There surely is a lot of benefit for women financially. My opinion don’t do it. Your heart gets destroyed, your kids get taken from you and everyone treats you like a deadbeat. You go from seeing your kids everyday to 4 times a month. Do you men really want that? I think there’s a lot of misconception that men don’t have hearts and we could careless if we see our kids. That’s the opposite of men. We would sacrifice our own lives to protect our kids. Maybe not our ex but yes our kids. If I were smarter when I was younger I would of got a pre nup. Men if you really wanna know if that women loves you hand them a pre nup saying they get nothing if you split up. Some may agree some may not but it’s usually a quick answer. Men you don’t have any rights in a divorce you are just a paycheck. My opinion I don’t think all women are bad. I made bad decisions in the women I chose to marry and I will take the blame for that. There are bad people out there period and both sexes go through it. It may take you a long time to find someone but don’t get worried over it! Enjoy your life being in a relationship shouldn’t be the highlight of your whole life. If your so concerned be a foster parent for awhile then eventually adopt if you wanna have kids. You certainly don’t need a woman to have your own family.

[rjroy3]

1. Divorce laws along with the standard that the woman is likely to win.

2. The economy.

3. Already been shacking up for a couple years so it doesn't make much sense outside of having that special day.

4. Media's portrayal of husband/father's in the media, being idiots who can't do anything without their wife. While commercials of single men still portray them as successful/powerful for the most part.

5. With hookup websites, apps like tinder and improved communications it is a lot easier to find hookups year round. So the Bachelor phase is extended for a lot of guys. All that variety is just a text away.

[MadeInAmerica]

Because if it doesn't work out especially if you live in the United States you are raped for 50 percent or more of what you have in the marriage despite you being the person who put 90 percent in your relationship. Things get ugly and messy if it doesn't work out and in all honesty marriage is just a piece of paper and social status to men. We don't see it as a lifetime achievement.

[NZDSTR]

In New Zealand you don't even have to be married for that to happen.2 years living together is classed as the same entitlement , if the relationship goes wrong a friend of mine just sold his house to give half of it to his former partner. He owned that house for 6 years before she even arrived.

[MadeInAmerica]

That's awful.

[Asker]

Good answer.

[MaskedSanity]

@NZDSTR

Holy shit, how the fuck is that even legal?

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

@maskedsanity @JustBanANNAz
That sort of thing happens in the US as well. An older man I worked with got divorced (his woman filed after meeting another guy) and had to pay alimony, child support, and give up possession of his house (which he built with his own hands). He had to live in his car for about a year and half before being able to save up enough money to live in low-income housing, and he hasn't been able to retire because of it. Committing to a marriage is more than just a touch dangerous.

[MaskedSanity]

@ScruffyNerfHerder

But how does that make sense both legally and just logically? What basis do the courts have to just ROB the poor guy and give it to her? What can she possibly say that would make the courts think "Hmm, she's getting divorced. Better make the guy homeless and award her riches!"

I just really don't get it and it angers me very much hearing these stories.

[NZDSTR]

@MaskedSanity
That's the law here you have to be pretty careful , who you choose to live with and best thing is to have a legal agreement before you move in together or have assets in a trust or something like that. Many men get burned by gold diggers here.

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

@maskedsanity
I think it partly is vestigial, going back to when women were not actively in the work force. Since they wouldn't typically have job skills, they would have no source of income in the event of a divorce. So alimony would be paid as a means of keeping the woman (and children) off the street.

Fast-forward to today when women have jobs, gains have been made in equality, and add resistance to changing those laws from women's rights groups (I hate gender warring on both sides, ugh), the outdated laws end up being wildly skewed in favor of women. In the US, 97% of alimony is paid by men to women, even though more women hold college degrees with higher employment rates (their jobs are over/under-represented in particular fields though). There is also a general mistrust of men ("all men are rapists" is the word on the street).

Things aren't as bad as either side of the gender wars claim, but actual equality and reform are being neglected as a result.

[Longblackveil]

Because marriage is no longer taken seriously.

People (men and women) just think "oh things are getting rocky time for divorce" and make no efffort to try to make things better because divorce is just easier. Even though divorce is pretty difficult, it's still easier than working through relationship problems.

I'm one of those men who is not interested in marriage. Marriage is no different than just a regular ole relationship these days. The only thing different is the wedding and the rings.

[evenlift]

1. The decline of religion. 2. The decline of the sense of familial duty. 3. Greater awareness of the financial dangers of divorce.

I actually don't think it has much to do with the post-1960s social acceptability of pre-marital sex. If it did, then all other committed romantic relationships would be declining at much the same rate. In fact, it is marriage that is uniquely at risk.

Canada is an interesting example. Apparently, the province of Quebec has seen a huge decline in marriage like nowhere else in Canada and pretty much the world. Many, many people are choosing to cohabitate while remaining unmarried. One possible reason is reason three. Quebec, I think uniquely in Canada, does not grant cohabitating, unmarried couples many of the financial privileges against each other that used to be reserved for marriage. The Quebec phenomenon suggests that reasons one and two may in fact be overstated. Quebec is, aftert all, a very religious society, specifically very Catholic.

[JackKerouac77]

Listen to Based Dog. ^^

[wendigoRed]

A lot of reasons. The economy is too bad to have a family or baby at this time, too easy to get sex when you want, more sex toys for men these days than ever, marriage laws are set up in women's favor, women are doing better than men in the economy, husbands don't have the respect in society as they once had, and divorce rates are too high, and a slew of other reasons.

[KwazyBruhhh]

It's more risky for a man to enter into a marriage than a woman. I am not sexist and love women, but the law system in the Western World is inherently bias towards women and until this lack of balance is redressed, I'll be damned if I'll enter into marriage where I am putting everything I have worked hard for over my life on the line. The risk is just too high and I dare say more and more young men are beginning to realise this.

[AdamThomas]

Because nowadays we can have a relationship with a woman without marriage, and a lot more of us are not religious anymore, so we see it as pointless. Then there's the fact that men are routinely rail roaded in divorce courts. Women like @justbanannaz who say it's all about fear of commitment just have no clue - 66-75% of divorces are filed for by women too, and men are the commitment-phones...

[justbanANNAz]

lol have u ever wondered WHY so many women file the divorce? i have a clue... im not stupid here.

[AdamThomas]

@JustBanANNAz

Yes, sometimes obviously it's because the Husband has been a dick, but then there are two sides to everything. When you look at the many women who've been awarded ridiculous amounts of alimony and child support it's easy to see why women might be quicker to divorce than a man in an unhappy marriage.

My point is that people are very quick to place the entire blame on men, pretend women are angels and to simply say that it's all about men not wanting commitment or not wanting to "grow up", without looking at all of the other reasons why a man wouldn't want it.

[justbanANNAz]

i understand that. of course, both genders are guilty in their own ways when it comes to relationships, and yes, the stereotype of a lack of commitment is more associated with men.
i never meant to imply that men r the only ones guilty of this, but the question is about men so i answered it in relation to men.

[Asker]

@JustBanANNAz - I don't wonder why so many women file for divorce. I know exactly why.

womensinfidelity.com/...ce-why-women-divorce2.html

[justbanANNAz]

i was talking to the opinion owner, asker ^^ but ok.

[Prof_Don]

The fear of a man losing half (if not more) of all the assets of his life's work,

just because she woke up one morning and sstart "I don't want to be married anymore",

[Anonx3]

Maybe cause women has gotten lazy, they don't cook, clean or do much of anything now. Just look pretty.

[Asker]

I think that's part of it. Women are not what they used to be. The benefits to men of being married have diminished substantially, that's for sure. But at the same time the pitfalls have increased, too. The odds of a woman filing for divorce have skyrocketed and we all know what happens to men in divorce. We get screwed over big time. It's a sad state of affairs for sure.

[Anonx3]

I was kind of being sarcastic but yeah, women are not what they used to be. I agree but disagree with you are the same time, men don't always get screwed over if he is smart and don't get a prenupt or has a good lawyer. But you don't have to get married, I think marriage is good if you want to be with a person for a lifetime, and you know you will only be with that person, then its good to get married for medical reasons, and income tax will be nice, and little other reasons to but divorce is high cause of older generation was mostly force to get married and now they can get a divorce, and then they're young people that run off to get married too fast, and either the women or men cheats, married is a lifetime thing and can financially ruin you if you get a divorce or if you don't it can make your finance better, as well as medical reasons. (If you care about the person), I'm rambling a lot now...

[foghornleghorntx]

@Anonx3 - Prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on and are routinely tossed out of court. When a guy goes through the divorce and family court process no matter how ace a lawyer he has at his side he is starting out from a position of disadvantage simply because he is a guy.

[Anonymous]

Because divorce almost always favors the woman unless she's just unequivocally more successful lol

[Asker]

This

[JimRSmith]

I think it's more a case that many aren't interested in marriage at a young age.

Some will see it as getting tied down too soon, and will feel that there aren't enough good reasons to do that, whereas others will feel that by not getting married, they can have their cake and eat it.

The good news for you is that most eventually grow up, so unless you're hellbent on getting married very young, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[justbanANNAz]

theyre afraid of commitment and would rather the freedom of messing around with multiple women than being bound to one. some just can't handle the skill of self control. its ok, boys will be boys.

I'm just glad there r still men in this world.

[toesies]

I agree with you.

[Asker]

It's not just fear of commitment. It's true that commitment means a loss of freedom for both parties, but it used to be that there was a reward for men that offset the loss to a degree that it was usually worthwile. That reward has continued to diminish to the point where it's no longer a reasonable risk.

[JayGoldFire]

She speaks as if Divorce doesn't exist.

[Kshppatel]

All of you saying men prefer to sleep around with many girls don't realize that I Lay a small percentage of men are good looking enough to get away with sleeping with many different women. The rest of us aren't good looking enough to pull it off and so you see the amount of men who complain about being cheated on, hurt, played, and friend zoned by women. Let's be real good looking guys don't get friendzoned because those good looking guys are busy banging away and moving onto the next.

[Anonymous]

1) The decline of religion.
2) The widespread education of women
3) Most importantly, the internet

"You sought the grass to be greener but all you received was the inevitable end of your species once chaos sets in from the ashes of what you tore down too quickly without first setting a new structure to replace the last."

[redroses1996]

Not all guys. But I feel some guys like to be greedy and have different women, and when they are single they don't have to worry about getting caught. In marriage the guys limits himself to only one woman. In this case he is not free to explore different women comfortably because he knows that he has a wife at home and that he could be caught!!!<3

[Asker]

If that were the case then men would never have wanted to get married. But they used to, and now no longer do. So that shoots your theory out of the sky.

[AdamThomas]

All these answers claiming that men prefer to sleep around make me laugh, have you not seen how many men complain about constantly being rejected and friend-zoned? Realistically only a small % of men are attractive enough to sleep with multiple women, most can't.

[toesies]

Men just want a fling. We are the ones to carry the baby.

[justbanANNAz]

sad, isn't it?=/

[toesies]

yes :(

[Asker]

You are the ones who carry the baby, but you are also the ones who make all of the decisions about it. Men have no rights in the matter. Why would we feel any ownership. Most men just say fuck it. For a man, a woman and a baby mean nothing more than responsibilities without rights. Is that supposed to be appealing somehow?

[Anonx3]

You can't speak for all men, especially since you aren't one but sadly we do carry the baby, but you don't have to have one.

[srslyly]

The ones who abort 20% of the fetuses and still manage to have 40% of the babies out of wedlock, and that's all after you have all manner of non permanent fertility control options.

[Anonymous]

because some women are just too easy and almost beg guys to sleep with them. now why would a man want to sleep with one women when he could sleep with a 100 (insecure) ones and he doesn't have to see their faces the next day?

[ironeddie]

"Women are not what they used to be. The benefits to men of being married have diminished substantially"

Just out of curiosity. What exactly do you mean by that statement?

[MaskedSanity]

He's upset he doesn't get his mom replaced with a hot younger version, you see.

[ironeddie]

@MaskedSanity - Ahhhh. Didn't look at it that way. ;-)

And here I was thinking he's is just another butt hurt, dateless, womanless guy. Live and learn.

[SandPlanet]

Can you give me valid reasons why I should care about marriage?

[Asker]

At your age single women are typically desperate to get married. Something to do with their biological clock and a building sense that life has passed them by and left them with nothing of real value to show for it. Whether or not that is "valid" is debatable, but it sure seems to be the condition of the overwhelming majority of single older women.

[SandPlanet]

Well, it sure as hell doesn't apply to me.

[Asker]

Good for you (if that's really true).

[SandPlanet]

It is.

[jeffbb26]

Because marriage no longer benefits men in any way whatsoever.