Would you agree that women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?

[Anonymous]

Not to sound sexist at all but do you ever think women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?

For example a guy will date a girl and may eventually want sex but if a girl puts out too easily, he won't see her as dating material because he figures she's sexually desperate and will do it with any guy who's willing.

Much like a girl who eventually wants a relationship from a guy but if a guy moves too fast too soon and shows too much interest and commitment, he'll be seen as desperate and needy and that he's just wanting to be in a relationship with anyone, not specifically her?

Updates

+1 y

Regarding the whole sex bit, it's one thing if you've known a girl for a long time and you start dating and have sex early on then it's a little different but if it's someone you barely know, like met off a dating site and they put out early on within the first 2 dates, that's when you think they're easy because you wonder how many other guys she sleeps with that easy. There's always those special occasions though.

[Azara]

So you're saying people artificially hold out on sex and caring so they don't seem loose to their prospective partner? That makes it sound more like the other person is controling how soon things happen. Like if a woman holds out bc of the guy then it's actually the guy controlling sex. Same as with realtionship. If you're not engaging in something bc of what you think someoone else will think , then you're not holding the key. not really. bc youare not free to act of your own volition. Someone else is holding THe strings. The key is just a veil.

Anyhow either sex can feel the way you described... A woman can feel like the guy will put out for anyone and the guy can feel Lik the woman would date anyone.

[Azara]

So I agree neiTHer with The form or content :)

People come in all varieties. Sex is not the central distinguishing characteristic of behavior that people choose to think it is.

More differences are found to exist between members of same sex than members of different sex.

[Asker]

True. I should have rephrased my comment. I'm not trying to generalize all women like that by any means. Maybe it's just the girls who act like sex objects and act sexual to get guys to like them.

[psychedelic_paprika]

Nah, not really. While most guys are really thirsty for sex, I think there's just as many who'd want both sex + commitment, and your statement would only really work if women were the only ones who wanted that kinda thing.

[Asker]

Well yeah guys do want sex + commitment but I think what it comes down to is the girls attitude about it.

[Findingmyway]

I had a friend say once "a wife always knows when she will have sex, a husband doesn't". And I chuckled at the sadness of it.

I find some truth in your statement.

[Asker]

Yeah that's true. A girl has sex on her time and a guy doesn't know when he will. I've never understood how some girls would say to guys hey I got laid a lot this past year, why haven't you. It's like really? You don't realize how easy you have it compared to us? Not trying to say all girls are sluts by any means but that's how the whole reason the stud/slut double standard exists.

That being said, I don't think a guy who sleeps around and plays women is any better than a girl who does it. But the whole double standard makes sense, if that makes any sense lol.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how attractive the relative people are.

Between similar desirability men and women, it's sort of true, more the women being gatekeepers of sex. Many guys are fairly willing to commit to a woman of their attractiveness level as the regular sex with it makes it worthwhile.

With higher status guys, they are gatekeepers of commitment. They can simply drop down slightly in status and still get hot women - lots - willing to have casual sex with them. So their pressure for commitment is very very low.

[Red_Dragon]

Nah not really. I mean in the general, society, nature, way yeah. However, this doesn't apply to me.

[Asker]

It could just be a certain age group of people or guys and girls who play mind games.

[Red_Dragon]

Yeah.

[Editor]

I believe you have described the entirety of human relationships.

[thewanderingme]

disagree. the person holding the power in the relationship is the "gatekeeper" of both.

[Asker]

I could see that. Do you think the person who's less interested in the relationship is the one holding the power?

[thewanderingme]

sometimes, but really, they just have to act as if they're less interested. that usually pulls the other person in.

[Asker]

Yeah and I need to work on that with the girls I like. Usually the ones I've cared less about were more into me.

[thewanderingme]

here's an interesting article on it:
www.justfourguys.com/.../

[crazyincalifornia]

I just don't like labels like that.
I have never even thought of it the way you do.
Sorry!

[Asker]

It may depend on the person and age range. People who don't know what they want may act this way.

[Anonymous]

Considering the rate at which women initiate divorce compared to men, I can't say the second statement is accurate.

[Bandit74]

Men are the gate keepers of commitment before marriage but once they let her through the gate then he's lost all power.

[Asker]

Yeah I see what you're saying. Again i should have been more specific. I should have specified my age group as most people my age aren't married.

[Bandit74]

It's not true across the board but as a generalization I agree with it.

[Asker]

I should have been more specific. It probably applies with the age range of 18-25 with people who play mind games. Culture could be a big part of it too.

[DeanFreed]

To rephrase it

Women care more about relationships

Men care more about sex

Then the woman controls the sex
And the man controls the relationship

Makes sense to me

[GingerBiscuits]

The opening sentence is pretty true.

[Asker]

Yeah and for the commitment bit, I've noticed that the girls I've cared less about were more into me and vice versa.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I agree with this statement completely.