Why don't people believe me when I say I don't feel pretty?

Question

I am a highly insecure person. Like I have a million insecure quirks. Sometimes I literally put my hand over my face so people don't see me. 

Honestly if you were to ask me about my looks I'd say i don't really think of myself as attractive. I'm too tall and skinny and I have a weirdly shaped face and my boobs and ass aren't big enough and I look like tired and really crappy without makeup. I also hate the way i talk my smile my laugh my body language pretty much everything. 

I do get a lot of compliments and hit ons and all that and I guess I'm 'known' for being pretty by people who know me but see whenever I see that I don't see myself as pretty... I feel like I somehow fooled them into thinking I was pretty. 

I've gotten to the point where im constantly bashing myself and telling people they're wrpng when they compliment me and nobody believes that im insecure. One of my friends said I was like acacia Brinley and was just looking for attention. I have had people literally get angry with me over this. 

Why can't people believe that I genuinely don't like myself? And does anyone else have this problem? It feels shitty because I fucking HATE being insecure so it's really upsetting when people think I'm faking it

BearsAnswers · Accepted Answer

What you are feeling is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. You will believe that your own appearance is defective or should be hidden or fixed. The thoughts can be very intense, very pervasive and intrusive. You will probably end up displaying other issues related to appearance, though those will probably not resolve the symptoms of the BDD.

The problem is, you are very pretty. Like, in a facial feature way anyway (if the picture in your profile pic is you, that is). So they will see you, realize you are pretty, so when you say you are not it will come across as you either fishing for compliments, trying to be coy, looking for attention, or flat out faking it. Because you suffer from BDD though, you will honestly feel that you are not, so there will be a disconnect there.

And there will probably ALWAYS be a disconnection there if you don't get treatment. It can be treated through cognitive behaviour therapy.

What you are feeling is normal for someone suffering from the disorder. But you have to also understand that the rest of the world sees you differently than you are seeing yourself. Your self-image is distorted. So people aren't lying to you or trying to make you feel good. They are simply telling you how they see you.

You should look into treatment, to be honest. It will help you a lot.

CuiqueSuum · Accepted Answer

Unfortunately you can't expect many people to empathize with what they don't know or understand. For most people it is too hard to take themselves out of their own shoes and imagine an experience completely foreign to them.

I am sorry people are treating you that way, it must feel awful to have people not take you seriously when you already have these feelings of insecurity and low self esteem. It likely only makes you feel further isolated from people on top of not feeling good about yourself.

While I'm sure it doesn't mean much coming from an Internet stranger, you do have value. None of us are perfect, I know this better than most. It's a constant struggle just to improve slightly on what we don't like about ourselves, and some things we simply can't change. You have to ask yourself why the things you hold important are important to you, and whether that should be the case. It might not help you change yourself or feelings about yourself, but understanding why you are the way you are is usually the first step.

If you need to talk further feel free to reach out.

HuckyHucky · Accepted Answer

It can be annoying when a person you feel is so obviously beautiful or better in some way turns around and says they're ugly or whatever. I guess it's just like a, "You don't know how good you have it" sort of thing. I have a friend who I think is completely beautiful in both face and body and she has such horrible self-esteem, has even admitted that she thinks I look better than her. I think she's crazy, obviously. It's hard to believe a person truly can't see all that you see when you look at them.

Side note, though, you need to work towards overcoming these insecurities. Oftentimes insecurity stems from subconsciously focusing too much on oneself. You're constantly thinking and worrying about YOU, how you are looking/acting and probably also comparing yourself to others which makes it even worse. Try to start caring less about things like what you're looking like (much easier said than done, I know, but baby steps), and just focus more on projecting your energy outwards and focusing on others and not comparing yourself.

kaminalove · Accepted Answer

Oh my god, I feel you. But like the guys said esp bearsanswers (very good one!) You have to accept the way you are and Im PRETTY sure that you are beautiful inside and out :) If you feel like there are parts of your body that you dont like, go work out! Itll give you satisfaction and feel better about yourself.

Im still in the same position as you and it has affected my relationship with the person I was almost about to date. My insecurities got the best of me and now we aren't in contact.

So when I say to really love yourself and forget about your insecurities, I mean it.

Because insecurity is an event not a person so you can overcome it.

Good luck, stay strong and take care xox

BumbleDeev · Accepted Answer

Because when you constantly bash yourself in front of other people or post things like this then people think you're saying all that to get attention.

HeyJustBeingMe · Answer

if you'd be standing in a crowd of woman, like 150-200 women,
i'd be picking you out every time. nothing personal. its reality. and that was my somewhat compliment thing.. ish..
feeling insecure is bad as it is. you dont look bad, even tho YOU might think you do..
take it from the outsiders, you are beautiful. besides you have nothing to lose..
so why even start thinking the way you do.
are you not ready to face the truth? its not a lie when you fool people.. its covering up. literally. and it doesn't matter. at all.

KDA20 · Answer

As one of the commentators said give yourself more credit. We all have insecurities to a degree it is how we cope with them that is important. I think it doesn't matter what you look like, what makes you is the whole package your personality. I am not going to do the standard oh you are so pretty because you said something much more important you have friends who care enough about you to tell you how pretty you are and that shows you are a special person to them and that tells me a lot more about you than rating any picture.

sealteam42 · Answer

II no you don't like to here this but from the half of your face I can see you look really beautiful and yeah you have your doubts about yourself and you may not see what everyone else sees and I'm guess you really don't take complements well ether but you know what that makes some people want to even get closer to you and that really wanna try and help you or be by your side when your feeling down the ones that don't run away when you try to push out of the few times we have conversed I think you have a awesome personality and your great to talk to just remember your awesome in your own way

kheserthorpe · Answer

I'm guessing from a picture of 1/3 of your face.

It looks to me like you're actually well above 'above average' and into the obviously pretty range.

Skinny overall is still highly desired.

So basically people can't believe you wouldn't know that you're damn hot. Most of them would pray to satan to swap looks with you and if they woke up and looked in the mirror and had your looks they'd be giddy. That's why they can't believe you're insecure.

HonestBoy · Answer

You clearly ab above average girl... and u r definitely pretty..
and people dont believe u cause u r lying to yourself... you are beautiful!
About being skinny... Personally i love them... in my opinion you are pretty... u r just fooling yourself not others

Diego9O · Answer

My girlfriend thinks the same. According to her she is not attractive ( like 0 ) when that´s not the case. I call her all the time beautiful. During high school she was a bullying victim. The only thing I can think is that they was jealous about her looks. You should be proud about your self, there is no beauty standard, my girlfriend thinks I am attractive other girls don´t think I am and so it goes.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

mather80 · Answer

Peoples insecurities are unique to them - its what makes you attractive to other people. Everyone has insecurities - no matter how confident they like to be considered. You look like a very attractive girl to me. Has for the tall, skinny, small boob bit, sounds just fine to me! Wish I could see the pics on flicer though :/

DarkHumorRUs · Answer

Well yeah, its low self esteem. You are pretty though, so now you're DarkHumorRUs Certified™. Lots of people don't know what it's like being pretty, and they assume you just know.

Frost_Byt3 · Answer

Just seeing half of your face, i would rate you a 10/10. That is a VERY rare rating for me to give out honestly. You should give yourself more credit, your honestly like... stunning 😊

Mesonfielde · Answer

Probably because they don't want to accept that you think that you have a reason to be insecure

Starry_Night93 · Answer

Have you heard of Body Dismorphic Disorder? You may have that. Look it up.  You are pretty. There may be an underlying issue to your low self-esteem, try figuring out what it is.

Anonymous · Answer

It because your not pretty, your more than pretty, you're beautiful :)

yesideetu2 · Answer

i have an idea of why

2014raser · Answer

ARGH. YOU'RE PRETTY!!! I'M SERIOUS!

Turendot · Answer

you're very good looking

Why don't people believe me when I say I don't feel pretty?

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