My sister gotten herself into quite some trouble for not wearing a bra. Basically her school send her home a few weeks back. Apparently the dean called her into his office saying she wasn't dressing appropriately because he could see her nipples through the sweater. To which she said "you're welcome!", which got her suspended
And she got her note to our parents saying that she has to wear a bra to school because everything else would distract the boys. Actually though she was wearing a bralette. Since it's kinda delicate fabric though, her nipples were still visible through it
So what are they actually saying? That girls should be requited to wear a wired, padded bra? I think that's a little ridiculous. Do you agree with them? She's 13. Does she really have to hide her body like that?
Yes
No
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Do you think girls should be required to wear (padded) bras?
I have three major problems with this: 1. That many Americans (including this stupid dean) think nipples are somehow inappropriate. They're not. They're just as inappropriate as feet or noses or shoulders or knees. Just because he gets his panties twisted when he sees a pair of nipples doesn't mean they're inappropriate. Nipples are natural. 2. Nobody should force women to dress in a specific way. If she wants to wear a bra, she should be able to wear one. If she doesn't want to wear a bra, she should be able to leave it at home. 3. American high schools can be extremely hypocritical when it comes to these kind of things. On the one hand, high schools in America constantly baby their students. Contrary to here in Europe, college in the US is the very first time in many young Americans' lives where they actually feel like adults - because it's the first time they get treated as such. Before, they have to endure 12 years of school where they are being treated like stupid, incapable, irresponsible 5-year olds that you can patronize at every turn. So on the one hand, the school regards your sister as a little child. On the other hand however, the dean looks at her boobs and thinks "oh these boobs must be really distracting to the boys". So in this respect, the school views your sister and the other students as having adult sexualities (because children wouldn't care much about boobs). This makes me want to ask: so what is she now? A child or an adult? If she's a child, treat her like a child. This includes letting her wear no bra. Children don't wear bras. If she's an adult, treat her like an adult. This includes letting her choose what she wants to wear. This hypocrisy that many American schools treat their students like 5-year olds with the sexuality of 21-year olds really pisses me off. It's intellectually fucked up and deeply unfair towards the students.
Yes, but not for the reason of distracting male/female classmates. As I see it, its inappropriate for a girl under the age of 16 to show certain aspects of their body to anyone over the age of 18, in the example you gave it's understandable as to why she got suspended. Behavior like that could very easily get adults in the school in trouble at the Board of Education. They could lose their careers and get sent to prison over a single child making responses like that. What if a parent heard about it and notified police that a dean took a girl out of class because of protruding nips. Where I live (the sunshine state) lots of school officials (deans, guidance counselors, ect) over the past 2 years have been arrested for having inappropriate relations with students. If things like your example are part of the cause I really do believe that there should be measures taken to secure both the students and faculty. Is that to say if all girls are covered head to foot faculty & staff won't target students? Well, no... There are sickos all over, but small preventive measures go a long way! Is there any harm in wearing a thicker bra? I don't know, I've never worn one, if there is then I can understand the annoyance. Otherwise it seems a bit melodramatic.
Sorry that's a bit rant-y.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I'm confused what you're saying? He could have gotten into trouble for one of his students not wearing a bra? Or for sending her home? Well rightfully so. That's ridicoulous
The are actually disadvantages for wearing a proper bra. Two main things
1) They are uncomfortable, to the point that it hurts. And considering you have to wear them every day for 8 hours or more that is not a trivial thing. I think every girl knows lines like this obsessedwithbreasts.files.wordpress.com/.../120802-085315.jpg That hurts. And some people may say that only happens when you don't have a properly fitted one, but that's mislead. What exactly is properly fitting? Our chest size changes throughout the cycle so at some point it's bound to be too tight. And if you're on a low budget getting a "fitted" one is a stupid thing to say anyway
2) They might cause breast cancer. You can find research saying that it does or doesn't, so by the end of the day we don't know for sure. but there's a good chance it does. And it makes sense. The idea basically is that bras cut off proper blood-flow to lymph nodes under your arms, which causes tumors and cancer. Our mom had breast cancer, so we are genetically predisposed to get it and I don't think the school should mandate that risk onto her
3) Bonus round!. They are expensive. If you want a good fitting one, you'll easily spend 80 bucks. And even the cheaper ones start at around 20 or 15. Which is a lot if you're a teenager or in college
4) Bonus round 2: It makes your breasts less saggy
He went about it in a completely inappropriate way. She should have been pulled aside by a female teacher and told about it discreetly. We wear clothes because of social customs and politeness (not because other people are distracted by us). It is completely out of order for a male to point out something like that. Boys are going to be distracted no matter what she wears.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Women should wear whatever they want to wear, if they don't wanna wear a bra they shouldn't be forced to, especially at such a young age, if I could I wouldn't wear a bra, it just feels so much better, but unfortuntely, or fortunately, I have quite big breasts so not wearing a bra can be very uncomfortable and even hurt.
I understand that some school have some rules when it comes to clothes but you can't force a girl to wear a bra if she doesn't want to. I remember at my school when I was her age, we didn't have the right to wear tank tops with thin straps because it would distract the boys... it was stupid
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Be descent at school (or anywhere for that matter) is not "hiding your body" . And even if it was , seriously you think that your 13 year old sister would be better off showing her nipples? This isn't about bra or not bra, this is about common sense and decency
no of course not. But if her nipples showing won't you agree is better to do something about it? Do you want all the silly teenage boys looking at her and whispering and commenting?
Nipples showing through a sweater is not a big deal. You can often see guys nipples through t shirts as well.
Maybe the better idea would be to teach boys to treat girl respectfully rather than telling girls what underwear they should put on so boys won't talk about them
It is common sense really. if your bra is so thin that your nipples are regulary visible then you should do something about it. A normal bra should do the job
The society we live in is how it is and is very naive to believe that you can change it so easy. Guys can go out without shirt but girls not. Do not question this , is not going to change anytime soon. A girls nipples showing through her shirt is not descent and women ( i talk for adult ones) should respect themselves enough to understand this. Your sister is a child and if i was her mum i wouldn't want the boys to turn and look at her or commenting because her nipples are showing. You looking at the tree and you losing the forest. You are not going to teach the whole male population to behave as you think fit but you can explain to your sister how reality is and that is not a big deal the type of bra as long as she appears descent
That's bullshit. I don't think that was necessary at all. I didn't wore a bra either when I was 13. Maybe the dean should stop staring at her boobs because I don't think it's that visible at first sight right?
Another example of people demanding how women should dress to hide their sexuality. Tells more about the thoughts those people have, than the 13 year old girl.
Why should women have to wear bras in the first place. I need a bra but that's purely for support. If I didn't need it I wouldn't wear it.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Required, no. If they want to they can. If they don't, then they don't have to. I usually wear them because I want to, like the light padded cup ones not the push up bras.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
She's 13 yes she should when she is 18 she will have enough time to dress as she pleases
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