My dad saw my hickey on my neck. He seemed angry but didn't say anything. Why did he get angry I don't understand?

[Anonymous]

I'm 21 years old; old enough to make my own decisions. If my boyfriend gave me a hickey that means I wanted it. My dad asked me what's that on my neck and I said I hit it somewhere. He seemed angry but didn't talk just went but he seemed angry whilst eating. Why was his reaction like this?

[ruthfaithseer]

Probably mad you lied. I mean you're 21 right. An adult doesn't need to lie. And. Is it, you wanted him sucking your neck? Or you wanted the mark left... Whether we like it or not, and I've done it too so no need to defend to me, it is looked down on. In society, in the workplace and much more. Younger people usually have a mindset, and I can't recall what it's called, but we don't feel it reflects on our workplace etc. But it does. I wanted them before too. But when I was adult about it and honest with myself... I just wanted that hickey mark on my neck... Wasn't even about them sucking on my neck so much as I wanted a hickey. Kind of like the mindset of wanting others to know you're sexually active. There was that " here I am, I'm not a virgin everyone" phase someone kissing or sucking on your neck is invisible to others. A hickey without a mirror is usually unseen by oneself... Slot of us whether admitted or not almost want it for others to see. Usually younger people for some reason. Not into stereo types... But when honest and real about it. I found it true. The realest person would be able to explain why so many younger people want that visible mark. I wasn't really able to but it'd be cool to have an unbiased, and real, truthful reason why when people confront us.

[Asker]

I agree. It's actually even not about sucking on my neck to be honest. It's more that I want the hickey so I ask him so many times to do it even though he thinks it's some sort of abuse. It's not the fact that I want others to see, it's mainly for myself to look at when there's gaps into of us meeting due to our busy schedule. I never had mine when I was younger, I only had it first time when I was 19, and then now basically. It's not something I do or want most of the time. Mainly it's once a while.

[ruthfaithseer]

Did you read below where I said something about leaving little notes and other things for you to find?

[Asker]

Yeah, I mean there a lot of romantic things that can show love. I'm trying different things each time. But when it comes to this mark, cos it stays there for even like a week or more it makes me happy cos I don't see him every day, sometimes once a week is even a problem cos his busy with work and gets very tired. That's the main reason I chose to have these marks only to keep me going when his not around :(

[ruthfaithseer]

More discreet places girl. Not bashing you. I've been there... And you'll get more time together have faith, trust me it's my middle name.

[vishna]

Haha, hickey stories are always the best.

You're 21, that's why he didn't freak out.

I got my first hickey in high school at like 17. I had NO idea what the hell was going on or that it would happen so fast. So, I walked into the house after work was greeted by my mom. She was like "What the hell is that on your neck?" I had NO IDEA what it was XD I ran to the bathroom thinking I had spilling something on myself during work. No, hickey XD but after she said that and her little spiel "Don't let boys do that, that's how they mark you" She made jokes about it the very next day. She was chill af. XD Yay to getting older and not strangled for being a little hoochie XD

[Anonymous]

No dad likes to think about his daughter being given one by a guy lol even if she's an adult. He raised you so he's always gonna see you as his little girl. Its normal for him to not be that happy about the little reminders that he's not the only man in your life now haha. Or mayne he knew you were lying? Either way I wouldn't stress it too much. Its pretty normal for dads to feel protective of their daughters like this. Be glad didn't call you out haha I think my dad would have reacted the same exact way.

[Asker]

Yeah true, at least he didn't shout or something. I can't even imagine that :(

[Zoe_mwm]

1) because he knows your lying
2) because he knows it's a hickey, it's a fathers natural instinct to not particularly like the guy/girl you're seeing because you're his little girl and he WILL get protective when he's faced with these situations. He doesn't want to see this person break your heart one day

[Pyrofox]

Your still his little girl and he doesn't probably know the boyfriend well and is angry that its a sign of you being a rebel. Probably best to maybe get your boyfriend to formally meet one another. BUT make sure your boyfriend knows to "clean up" as in dress up and be presentable and prove that he has what it takes to take care of you.

[Pyrofox]

AVOID kissing during the time he's over until you get the all clear from your dad. And if he has facial piercings you might want to consider warning your boyfriend to remove them if he can. At least for the first time they meet one another.

[Asker]

His an older guy from me and I'm not sure if this meeting will ever take place. To be honest I don't want him to meet my dad because I'm way more happy and comfortable this way. This guy is very protective and loving so I don't want to ruin my relationship.

[Pyrofox]

It might be worse if they dont meet. Especially if there's more hickies. OwO trust me dads are not one to take it easy.

Ever watched Taken?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Tz9tQr1Zgo

[Asker]

I haven't seen it but looks quite interesting actually. I should watch it soon.

[ruthfaithseer]

Why would it ruin a relationship. I mean your dad is your dad no matter what. If this guy cares at all he will completely understand. I mean be honest... Is he someone that isn't going to make or attempt to make a good impression? Does he even work? School? Any aspirations?

[Asker]

@ruthfaithseer Him meeting my dad is nearly impossible, as I said his an older guy and a general practitioner with many years of experience. I'm totally sure he is able to give a good impression because his a very polite and a formal guy but the truth is we don't have a future together. But we are in a committed relationship till when ever it will last.

[Pyrofox]

My only point is who ever your current boyfriend is. Your dad is going to hunt him down if you ever get hurt or kidnapped. Its best for him to just come out meet him and be done with all the phony assumptions your dad could be making. You won't understand untill you have your own kid but its easy as a parent or aunt or uncle to jump to the worst conclusion as a guardian. EVEN if your child legally is an "adult."

[Pyrofox]

All dads want is to see that their daughter isn't fool heartedly chasing after something that won't work.

[Pyrofox]

Because also you may or may not know it but Hickies have a lesser known possessive meaning when it comes to dating.

[Keifer]

1.) hickeys are trashy.
2.) you straight up LIED to him.
3.) your his daughter still.
4.) he's upset he can't control you like he used to beable to so he's getting passively aggressive.
5.) have you ever introduced your boyfriend to your parents? maybe he doesn't like him?

[Asker]

He knows who he is but they haven't met in person.

[Keifer]

well, I think the biggest thing is that you're 21 and still getting hickeys, they're terribly trashy, good luck getting a job with it, or respect for that matter, get him to hickey on your boob. but srsly girl, cmon, 16 year Olds get neck hickeys to show they're taken in high school, not when you're 21 and mature.

[Asker]

I understand honestly. But I didn't think of it that way. I didn't see it as something trashy because for me it's more like a love sign left for couple of days when I don't see him.

[Keifer]

well that's alright but you should have somewhere else I loved doing it on a girls boob but on the neck in the open seems kind of... pretentious and no one wants to see it. not telling you how to live your life but just saying you could put the hickey on a less noticeable place.

[ruthfaithseer]

Maybe he could leave little notes or other things around for you to find. Real love doesn't need to be seen in a mark left on someone to know it's there. But I've got a huge strong view on what real love not lust is. And it is trashy Hun. And whether you care what others think or not others look at it as trashy. And if you did have that baby someone asked about the Drs would be looking at it as trashy... And that better be an opinion you do care about because Drs or others thinking a baby is being born into a trashy environment usually don't care that you could care less what they think. And also. Being able to provide for a baby "no problem" lol. I was there, it's work! Lottttssss of it! And costs slot more than anyone without a child thinks. They are the greatest gifts in life. So do you own your own house? And keep in mind, your dad loves you. Surely he has lived life and seen some things... He doesn't want others viewing you poorly. Has this man, not wanted to meet your dad

[ruthfaithseer]

You are absolutely right. Outstanding young man!

[Keifer]

young man :p ur profile says you're 17 but I read your comment in an old lady voice because of the young man part :p

[ruthfaithseer]

Lol. Much older than 17. Didn't even put an age on profile. Still feel 17 sometimes ha!

[Keifer]

ahah well that's good you feel 17 :D

[ruthfaithseer]

Yup I think so too

[SovereignessofVamps]

I read all the comments. People are taking this srsly. I think it's a little funny you lied, since the hickey was probably obvious. Why can't you imagine our dad yelling, curious? Anyway, I agree! I don't think you did anything wrong, it's so mild. I do think he could've been angry since you didn't cover it. Most people hide theirs.

[AleDeEurope]

First of all, it's never gonna be a good thing to see your little girl with a hickey. That brings up the image of doing the nasty and, well, it's nasty.
Also, why are you 21 and with a hickey? That doesn't give a good impression on others. A father knows that, and expects his daughter to know that too.

[Asker]

But I like it. It's something that give me a good feeling that's why I wanted my boyfriend to do it even though he didn't want to.

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, but what are people gonna think? Imagine your boss sees you with that? It's not presentable.

[Maypai]

You're his little girl. No matter how old you get, your father doesn't want to even associate something like sex with his angel. It also could be due to you lying to him, which I could understand why you would.

[Luci92]

No dad wants it rubbed in his face that his daughter is having sex.
All it takes 30 seconds and a little foundation and a makeup sponge to cover it up, perhaps if you don't want to get him angry/upset, do that next time.

[TurtletheBlack]

Maybe its because you lied about it. I'm sure your dad knows what a hickey looks like. I think you should apologize for lying and move past this as quickly as possible. It's not something that should turn into a big deal.
Hope this helps~Turtle

[Anonymous]

No parent wants to see any of their children with a hickey mark on their neck. Shows bad class.
I would hide it with foundation.

[Opinion Owner]

Mad dad is no dummy. He knew what the f*ck it was.

[Opinion Owner]

haha thanks.

[Gymcoach]

PErhaps because you lied to him? You're right, you're 21 and free to make your own decisions, lying to your parents is still a dumb one.

[SaintRichie23]

He was angry cause you fed him a line of bullshit.

Old enough to make your own decisions, but clearly not old enough to own up to them.

[Neverrrmore]

Come on, no dad wants to know some dude is all up on his daughter.

[Asker]

Yeah but a hickey doesn't always been I've been having sex. My boyfriend could have done it during kissing or something but I don't get why it has to be embarssing or a bad thing.

[Neverrrmore]

It's not either of the two, I think it's just the dad thing and you're his baby.

[Ladyslipper]

He's upset people will see his daughter being a trashy skank and is embarrassed but he didn't say anything because ur a grown woman who has every right to get pounded as you please

[Centurion20000]

Angry? You lied directly to his face.

Also do you live at home or have your own place and job to pay for it all?

[Muhammad1999]

If you are old enough to make your own decisions then why you still live with them?

[Asker]

What's wrong with me living with them? Of course i can make my own decisions etc but that doesn't mean that I have to live separately; so I don't get where your coming from.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Probably angry that you lied to him.

[Kaju4l]

That's my opinion also

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@Kaju4l I saw. Good man.

[Kaju4l]

I didn't post

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@Kaju4l Oh, sorry. I was remembering someone else.

[Anonymous]

if you get pregnant, are you ready to be a mother?

[Asker]

Yes I am. I have a decent job, a house, a car and everything. I can provide for my child with no problem.