Most Helpful Opinions
Offensive humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.101
HAHA THAT WAS FUNNY xD
Some dark jokes:
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
What's the difference between cancer and a black person?
Cancer got jobs. (so many insults).
How to fit a baby into a small bowl?
Put 'em in the blender.
How do you get them out?
What was the last thing to go through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 jumpers. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.40
I was mildly entertained until I got to Eugene's post... Jesus.0
What Girls & Guys Said
A little boy is sat in class crying on the anniversary of September 11th, the teacher who is concerned asks the boy what's wrong and why he's crying to which the boy teary eyed responds "My father died in the September 11th terrorist attacks. Today is hard for me" The teacher shocked, says "That's devastating, was he a fire fighter or did he work at the buildings?" The boy sobs and says "No, he was on the plane. I can remember his last words when he called me before the plane went down" The teacher surprised says "Would you mind telling me what his last words were?"
The boy looks down, wipes the tears from his face and says "Allahu akbar."20
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
“You da bomb!”
“No, you da bomb!”
In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
Doctor: You're obese.
Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion.
Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
I saw two kids fighting in the elementary school playground. Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn’t stand a chance.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pit bull?
Just the pit bull.30
this is all I can think of..
a guy walks up to a girl and says "you know how I know i'm getting laid tonight?" and the girl says "how?" and the guy says "cuz i'm stronger than you are" hahaha53
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.20
How to make a little girl cry twice? When you're done, wipe your cock off her teddy bear.53
This one was fine
What you get when you cross a donkey with a onion?
A Piece of ass that makes your eyes water
What's grosser than gross?
Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon50
The Holocaust was just a mistake. Hitler said "pass the juice" not "gas the Jews"50
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.51
How many black people do you need to start a riot?
The American Police said they'd never forget the 9/11. Pretty hard to I'd guess, it's your phone number.60
How many kebabs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We won't know because we keep removing them😅12
What's the difference between Pizza and Jews?
Pizza does not scream when you put it into the oven.
Thank you, I'll be here all week, try the veal...20
What does a Jew with a boner get when he walks into a wall?
A broken nose.63
hope you like it30
How to start a Rave in Ethiopia?
Hang a slice of bread to the ceiling50
I'm just here to be mean to men, they're angry with the world because they don't have their own boobs to play with... and we use them for free food, carry on now.20
Most Helpful Opinions
Okay, this WILL take a while. One Friday evening
a mother and her elementary school child was walking through a park until the child stopped to see 2 wild chipmunks mating.
"mom, what are those chipmunks doing?"
frantic to come I with an answer, she said the first thing on her mind which was,
"they are making a cake babe"
while going through the park she saw another set of animals (raccoons this time) mating, and asked "mom, are they making a cake too?" the moment answered yes and went finally left the park, seeing as all the animals were screwing each other's brains out. next day the mother sent her little girl to go to her ex husbands house for the day as promised. at the end of the day, when she went to pick her back up, the daughter came running to her mother, happily saying "MOM! MOM! DADDY AND I BAKED A CAKE TODAY!"
taking a few seconds to process what she said, seeing that she didn't see any baking equipment out, the mother asked "Oh really? so what happened to the cake then?"
the daughter then said, " oh when we finished baking, Daddy let me lick the icing off when we were done"