Being nice is required for someone to be a decent human being. Agree or Disagree?

[Toad-1]

Agree

I disagree

It depends (please explain)

[ImSoSquishy]

i disagree, i know a person who do nice things for you with a motive/agenda behind it. i had a friend who did this, it's like he's just nice to you now and plans to use it against you someday in some way to try to control you. my ex-friend, was really nice to me at the beginning of our friendship. without me ever asking, he offers to pay for my meals, offers to help me with tasks, sometimes he would just pop up and be like "hey i got this for your i thought you'd like it bro" and later on is when his true colors started to show. when we got into disagreements, he would start bringing up things he did for me to use against me, to try to make me feel bad and take his side when there are debates. basically he'll makes you feel like now you have to do what he ask or you're a terrible person who only takes from him and never gives back. everything nice he does, it's not genuine. he turns everything he does for you into a card that he can use against you later so it makes it hard for you to decline his request even if it's to do something bad for him.

[ak667]

I focus on outcome rather than intentions, and think a decent human being is one who makes their lives and everyone else's around them better. Being kind can help, but in a rare case it can backfire and do more harm and good. So I think a decent human being uses kindness as like a tool in their arsenal and doesn't necessarily just dogmatically be kind to everyone.

Calm, level-headed reason, combined with a goal of improving the lives of not only yourself but everyone else, is the main way I see to being a decent human being. And I actually think the end justifies the means.

[ak667]

I think most people who think of tyranny have the saying, "The end justifies the means" reversed to the "means justifies the end". Because most people we consider villains today intended well, but the outcomes of their intentions were horrible. It wasn't that they could foresee the outcomes of their actions and see that as better, they assumed good intentions always lead to good outcomes, and I think that was the ultimate tyranny.

[ak667]

That's why those people are dead relics of the past. They assumed the means justified the end, not the other way around. They put so much value in the means (their intentions), only to find the end (the outcome) so different than what they hoped and expected that it not only lead to the suffering of the people they immediately cared about, but also ultimately lead to their own demise.

[vishna]

If you're really cold or indifferent to everyone, no one will like you. Now, I don't think that's the same thing as being or not being a decent human (because just decent is setting the standard quite low) (A decent person probably doesn't steal but maybe they don't report theft either?)

Imagine a waitress or someone in hospitality with just decent communication skills, I doubt they'd do well in their job.

And I think a lot of how others judge you is based on how you make them feel.

So, socially a just decent person probably won't get far, have connections, etc. But like judged on some grand scale, I guess they'll be just ok (dececnt).

I guess what I'm saying is, there's no grand scale measuring human decency so, a lot of what happens to you in life is how others perceive you. And a person who treats others just decent, probably won't get that far in life.

[witherwing]

Being capable of being nice in situations where it's beneficial, yes. But being a decent human being doesn't mean being nice all the time.

[Saray]

You can be an apsolute jerk towards everyone yet respect and love your friends (good person for a small circle of people) . for example Escobar , everyone knows about him , killed tons of people , broke all the laws in the book , yet there's several cases of him helping his community. Yakuza - Kills tons of people , have inhumane rules inside them BUT , when Japan was struck by an earthquake , they've responded quicker then the government to help the community with meds , food , water , supplies , protection etc. There is a lot more examples where apsolute psychotic people who aren't nice are actually amazing human being when they feel the need to be.

[Nach-yo-Man]

It depends on your perspective of "nice". You have to think big picture. Are you truly being "nice" by wanting what's best for that person, or are you just wanting to appear nice.
Giving $20 to a homeless guy looks nice but if he's a druggie and he goes and buys laced heroin and ODs your an accessory to suicide. (Not nice) Where as a drill sargent yells horrible things in your face which doesn't appear nice but he's trying to acclimate you to high stress situations so you don't come straight home in a body bag. Pretty stinking nice when you think about it.

[LuvMeSomeBoys]

Being civil is essential for being a good person, but being nice isn’t. One gets a better reception by being nice and not being an asshole though. My ex wasn’t nice, but he was usually civil and occasionally an asshole. He was killed two years ago when a train broadsided his car. Funny that the only thing people remember about him is he was an asshole. Karma is a bitch.

[dragonfly6516]

I slightly disagree. Being nice isn't the same thing as being polite. You must be polite to be a decent human being.

Nice, would be going beyond your required duties, or social/moral obligations. Like simply asking if someone is okay, vs actually sitting there and listening to every petty detail.

[ZanyInternetName]

It helps, but it's not necessary. I know a guy, used to know him actually, who had his friends die or otherwise get permanently removed from his life when he was young (ish) in several different incidents. He didn't get adequate psychological care. He never recovered. He was a decent man. Hardworking and diligent but he was also disgruntled with the world. Didn't know him too well, nobody did, but I think he was decent. Just very, very angry.

[HughJass]

No not really. I'm a stone hearted demon and act like it generally but deep in I'm a nice human being and do good stuff for others. My friends do like me anyhow.

Niceness can also be abused by people so it's better to not show your nice side all the time.

[Unnameable]

You don't always have to be nice to be a decent human being, and being nice in itself isn't enough. But it is a factor. For example, Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsey are both infamous for being heartless in their criticism, but they're actually extremely nice and beyond decent human beings. They just know that, sometimes, being nice can actually hurt someone more than help them, because a lot of people need tough love, which isn't nice, but is the right thing for a decent person to do.

[pleasestopthis]

By nice, do you mean kind?
If so, I disagree... I know a lot of people who're nice but they do "undecent" things. On the other hand I've met a lot of people with rough exterior and very "unkind" but they ended up being the best human beings I've known.

[mikealphanovember]

Having manners is important, but there are certain situations where being nice only enables people to continue to be destructive.

Being a good person has more to do with helping others to grow, and in a lot of cases that means exposing them to truths they'd rather not see.

Sometimes the best among us are assholes.

[Lance1965]

I have always tried to be nice to anyone who is nice to me but niceness in people is fading fast. Too often I meet someone with the intention of just being friendly but then you realize they are not interested in being friendly and certainly are not interested in starting any kind of friendship. There is also the popular attitude that if you seem nice it is their opportunity to use as a doormat. I am becoming more of an asshole the more I realize some people don't deserve my niceness.

[PrincessPie]

Agree, be a nice person but not a push over and people will respect you

[Toad-1]

*pushes you over*

[PrincessPie]

Not that type of push over 🤦‍♀️😛

[Toad-1]

you liked it :P

[desidoll]

Yes but be prepared that people will climb all over your head.

[Toad-1]

*climbs over your head*

[desidoll]

No no I'll climb over your 'head'😂

[Toad-1]

sounds terrific ;)

[snowangle]

I'd say kindness is a better term for it.

Being nice tends to involve telling people what they want to hear. Being kind is about telling people what they NEED to hear (in a compassionate way, not a rude one).

[Ellie-V]

Not really. You can be nice and still be an awful person.

[Toad-1]

I'm not talking about being awful im talking about if you want to be a decent human being then being nice is a requirement for you to achieve that. agree or disagree?

[Ellie-V]

Disagree

[Toad-1]

so you can not be nice and still be a decent person?

[Ellie-V]

Yes.

[Jjpayne]

Being nice is good at all times! and being nice is about being hard at times too... Tough love is a thing and I see that is being nice. Because ignoring someone's problem is not the nice thing to do.

[Benedek38]

Depends on your definition of "nice" and "decent".
If you mean that being considerate with others is a part of acceptable social behaviour, absolutely.

[Intraluminal]

Being "nice" as in avoiding conflict doesn't make you a decent person. Being kind and willing to forgive does.

[NYCQuestions1976]

You can be a decent human being and also keep to yourself. If this question were true, all introverts would be criminals. Side note: Everyone knows introverts like cheese. Isn't that correct, @CarpetDenim?

Callback! lol

[dantetheexplorer]

"Nice" is perhaps one of the most vague words in English. A weasel word.
I would say "kind", but that's just me.

[FinalVow]

being genuine is more accurate. Being nice is part of being a good person. but not required. A nice person will let people get away with stupid shit.