My husband is a surgeon and he is 12 years older than me, and we married the last year. I’m 22 and he is 34. I work as a teacher in an elementary school, so I can say that he is wealthier than me, and he likes to spoil me a lot, like buying me whatever I want, and take me to some trips. I proposed last year to my sister to let me take her daughter of 12 years with me and my husband , in Japan because she had always dreamed of visiting this country, especially since we were going to go a few days after her birthday. instead of thanking me, my older sister started yelling at me saying that it was a big no because she refuse for her daughter to become like me, and that I might have a bad influence on my niece! According to her, I only married my husband for his money, and I do not deserve such a rich husband because I do not work as hard as my other sisters who are more qualified than me! it's true that I love being spoiled by my husbands, but I also love him for his personality. but since I married him, my family has somehow rejected me and do not send me even gift because according to them I am a superficial gold digger that did nothing in her life beside marrying a wealthy man, and therefore not a good example! My husband tell me that I should ignore them, but I feel bad, because I always wanted to share with them, some great moments, or even to spoil my niece but instead I’m getting rejected. What should I do?
Why does being married to a successful man officially mean you’re a golddigger?
From what you have said it seems likely that your sister is basically jealous that your able to offer things that she would want to offer her daughter because of you and your husbands finances. It is a sad fact that working hard doesn’t always have a direct link to money earned but that’s no reason to penalise her daughter by not letting her have a relationship with you. In my opinion only you will know if your truly a gold digger or not , I don’t believe you are but your sister seems to have made up her mind. I would appeal to her sense of family and not depriving your niece of things because of her pride :)
i think your husband is right if he is always with you and support you, love you.. you are teacher, you studied too.. its not you didn't do any effort.. and u like him, not his money. so it means you married him because he is himself, not he is rich, am i right?
It sucks how they are treating you. If you really love your husband regardless of his money, you're not a gold digger. And even if you were one, if both of you are loyal and happy I don't even think that's such a bad thing.
I think you should sit for family down for a serious talk. Tell them that you love your husband not for his money but for him, and that it hurts you that they think otherwise. Say that yes, you do enjoy going on those trips now that you do, but it was never the reason you chose your husband. And say that you really would love to take your niece to Japan.
Lol nope. Only because you love a man who is handsome doesn't mean that you are shallow. Only because you love a rich man doesn't mean you're a gold digger. But you are shallow if you are with him for his looks and you are a gold digger if you are with him for his money. And that's when the relationship is bound to not last very long.
Because sadly a lot of people will judge you based on everything and anything. Your financial status is always an indicator of marital success too. You didn't go after him because of the money. But he already had money and wanted to be with you. It's still nobodies business. That is why you do not advertise it.
If he hadn't been a doctor. Let's say he was a garbage man or a plumber. If you still would have loved him and wanted to spend your life with him because of who he is, his looks, charm, personality, values, the way he makes you feel but you would have only had a basic life financially, not high end than you are not a gold digger.
If you wouldn't have given him the time of day if he had a more menial, basic job that pays the bills but doesn't allow for the high end lifestyle without saving and budgeting but suddenly swoon for him when he is a doctor than you are a gold digger.
That's not a valid reason at all. I wouldn't marry a woman with 5K credit card debt, and can barely make ends meet, that speaks of poor financial choice and would make my life a burden. Ofc I would prefer a girl who is more successful. Wealth and status are valid reasons to be a PART of why you're initially attracted to someone.
You are not a gold-digger, you just attracted a successful man. This has elevated you or of their class and they feel that you are no longer one of them. You and your husband can now afford things that they cannot. Offering experiences to their children that they can't provide makes it worse. Meet them at their level and minimize talk about things that are beyond their means.
If he spoils you and you don't do the same for him, that makes you a gold digger. If both people do stuff for each other then it doesn't make you a gold digger. When a relationship is one sided financially, that is what makes someone a gold digger, not necessarily how much money the person makes.
Do you contribute financially to your/his living, house, bills, going out, etc? If you do then you wouldn't be a gold digger.
Them not wanting you to take their kid somewhere is perfectly understandable though. Don't offer it to the kid without first getting the parents' approval first. They are meant to be the provider for their own kids, not someone outside of the immediate family. Plus they probably don't want their kid going out of the country without them.
Your not in a healthy relationship. The human brain does not finish growing unitl it is 25 years old. Your partner has 10 years of life experience over you and so is in a position to manipulate you and you would not even know it. I'm sure you are happy but you are not an equal. There are plenty of sociopaths and psychopaths who are doctors and surgeons. It's a favored profession for them. These types of people will typically feed off a junior and that is you. You can not see it but you are being used.
What a mean terrible psychopath he must be. Marrying her and buying her things and going on vacation with her. Do you hate all men or just ones that are better than you? I think you just hate yourself.
I'm in no way saying that sociopaths are 100 percent evil people (although I do understand under received definition why that would have been your default). It would be perfectly normal behaviour for them to be really good at generously giving (and indeed a symptom of the condition, that and being great in bed!).
Hmmm. What's not so easy to surface is that there is usually certain behaviours that are or are not expected in return. That might not sound much of a return but the impact is such that you end updating a role. It's like being forced to perform on a stage a character that's not the real you for your entire life.
Many women WANT to be a "princess" or "baby" or however they think of it. Its not being used. Just as the woman uses the man to be the one who is ALWAYS strong and always providing and leading and protecting. He has to play a character too. Its 100% mutual. If he is using her she is to the exact same degree using him, just in a different way. Personally I just think its sweet but if you want to assign sinister connotations to it I think you are wrong.
No your understanding the point. He does not have to play a character - it's a choice for him. She has to in order to carry favor. It's not an equal partnership.
FUCK THEM. write a letter, tell them you forgive them for their pettiness and name calling. Let them know you are not shutting a door, but until they change their aberrant behavior towards you, they can fuck off. You not reaching out anymore, but your not turning you back.. just tired of being hurt by your own.. Say I love you all, but you hurt me everyday, when you accept me and my husband for what we are, part of the family, then fuck off until you can be with us with out hurting you or your husband.
(Sorry if this sounds jarring; the following question is not meant to be rhetorically accusational.) If he made a bit less than you would that be acceptable? Wealth and skill in wealth building certainly boosts attractiveness. Attractiveness includes the aforementioned as well as looks, status and personality. So is money and status a part of why women marry? I think so, but a gold digger marries and then divorces for... oops money. If that's not you then it's not you and just be confident in why you love him.
No, it means you got extra perks and some people can't cope. but there nothing wrong with your choice. Love can't pay bills. And as long as you guys are happy that all that matters.
AND your sister (no offense) should be shot in her assI mean to deny her child the experience to learn and see a different side of the world is a very cruel thing. I hope your niece finds out about it.
I love my sisters. I am always happy for every single of their victories. That how should be.
nothing wrong with wanting to be provided for. Its nice you work. Shows that you arw no moocher. Gold diggers to me are the women who sit at home demanding 3,000 dollars each week or more buying well beyond the means of the household. Spending money all the luxeries things not greatful for a thing. A woman who treats her guy like he is a paycheck.
Ignore the fools who bad mouth you enjoy your life with your husband. Do what you know is right.
absent any other information and based solely on what youve said here, I'd say your family is jealous. Just be careful of flaunting whatever material things in your life. I'm surprised your husband is able to lavish you though. most 34 yo surgeons are too busy paying medical school loans
It doesn't make you a gold digger.. If you would still be with him regardless of whether he was wealthy or not that doesn't make you a gold digger.. You just happen to love a man who is wealthy, and wanted to spoil you.. Don't pay them no mind.. I think it's a bit of envy from them.. "Oh, she was lucky enough to marry a rich man and now she is rubbin it in our faces".. Oof.
u are a gold digger and he only with u for your young looks. guess what happen when u reach 30 and hit the wall and ur looks fade... he gonna drop your ass like hot plate and he gonna find some new young chick cos he still got the money to attract more gold diggers
Sounds like your sisters are jealous. You love the man. He happens to be ambitious. Men are supposed to be ambitious. The wives are ideally younger so they are reproductively healthier. Neither you nor your husband are doing anything wrong.
Well in this case your sister might be jealous of you by having a "rich" husband I can understand your feeling of trying to help but getting rejected, if you really love him you are not a gold digger
You are a gold digging whore only if you love his wallet and married up for that sole reason. Your family are fucking trash as well and should be ignored.
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