Cause society tells people that showing your emotions is a sign of weakness. People are generally not used to talking about emotions so can get uncomfortable when others try to reach out. For men in particular, its expected to carry the burden without ever unloading.
There is standard converstion and how are you? I am fine - is standard conversation among human beings
If you are fortunate enough to have a real friend or someone close you can tell the truth about yourself or inquire more deeply of your friend because you each actually care
To avoid more (nosy follow up) questions. To avoid the same dialogues again. To avoid being offered obsolete "solutions" to the problem by people, who simply don't want to understand.
Explaining to them at best does nothing and on average makes things worse.
In my case, I tell people that I'm fine because it's either inappropriate for me to say what I'm really thinking, or because I don't want to have to explain myself. I really hate it, but there is something about being a guy that everyone think's that you just magically have a reason to feel the things you do. Like you've got this little checklist in your head that justifies your emotions, and god forbid you don't, because if you don't; you will probably be ignored.
In my experience there are three reasons people do this: 1. They don’t want to talk about their feelings. 2. They want you to read their mind (which isn’t realistic, but they want to feel a connection, but set themselves up for disappointment by this behaviour) 3. They want you to ask whether they’re fine again, so they’re sure you really care, and after that they will open up.
People ask thing's they doesn't really want hear an honest answer to. (Courtesy phrases) Also to many comes with stupid responses that makes the situation worse that in itself breaks trust.
One simple rule to live by. Don't ask thing's you don't want an honest answer to or really don't want to know. (to many female's have a problem with this)
It's because people have busy lives so the approach is "I don't want to hear your problems" because the next word of advice is, "well go get help". Therefore, people can put on a fake smile and say everything is fine. I have talked to people who have really felt down on themselves to push them back up and not expect anything in return. God is watching my actions as well and hopefully God is pleased with the help or sincerity I provide.
Because the only people that really care are your mum and dad... I don't even know if siblings do. I heard a girl talk about her siblings, all sisters and they dont even know each others favourite colour, she says if they're passing on the stairs they'll say hello but they have their own lives separate to each other... 🤯 can you believe this?
Usually depressed people don’t want to admit that their no okay , with the fear of being judged or being a burden on others. I have bipolar disorder and it can be hard to admit your in pain but it took me a while to become more confident in explaining who I am. That’s the only way I’ve been able to have treatment all these years.
For me personally, I deal better with all of my issues alone and always have, because of that more issues come up because I think I'm a boring person/partner, that and voicing my problems in person is very embarrassing, human or not
Because people usually only ask out of politeness and don’t want to hear other people complain. So I say what they want to hear which is “Yes, I’m fine” .
It’s because due to a stressful past people prefer to hold things in then to be deemed as weak or judged by their peers... it’s not many who will listen and be that comforting friend as needed without strings attached
Often it is because they don't really have a legitimate reason to be depressed, they just are. Often because they don't want to seem weak by seeking help and don't want to bother others.
And often it just seems useless, most problems are not solvable by others so they know they will just be wasting time and energy trying to explain and the best they can expect from the other person is some pep talk, nobody wants that.
Like when someone behind the counter asks how you're doing. Many people quickly say "I'm good thanks" before going on to give an order. There are varying degrees of that same thing.
Because if someone says they are not a normal person would ask why, that is the human thing to do. People don't always want to talk about their problems, especially not with anyone.
Because sometimes people might not understand your feelings, what makes you sad it’s something private, because then people will give cookie-cutter responses trying to make yourself happy that are just stupidly useless and don’t want to waste time or argue because of that. There are lots of reasons for that.
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Cause society tells people that showing your emotions is a sign of weakness. People are generally not used to talking about emotions so can get uncomfortable when others try to reach out. For men in particular, its expected to carry the burden without ever unloading.
There is standard converstion and how are you? I am fine - is standard conversation among human beings
If you are fortunate enough to have a real friend or someone close you can tell the truth about yourself or inquire more deeply of your friend because you each actually care
To avoid more (nosy follow up) questions.
To avoid the same dialogues again.
To avoid being offered obsolete "solutions" to the problem by people, who simply don't want to understand.
Explaining to them at best does nothing and on average makes things worse.
In my case, I tell people that I'm fine because it's either inappropriate for me to say what I'm really thinking, or because I don't want to have to explain myself. I really hate it, but there is something about being a guy that everyone think's that you just magically have a reason to feel the things you do. Like you've got this little checklist in your head that justifies your emotions, and god forbid you don't, because if you don't; you will probably be ignored.
Because they don’t feel like drowning in an emotional explanation or they just don’t feel obligated to tell you anything. 🤷🏾♀️ not rocket science
It's rocket science
In my experience there are three reasons people do this: 1. They don’t want to talk about their feelings. 2. They want you to read their mind (which isn’t realistic, but they want to feel a connection, but set themselves up for disappointment by this behaviour) 3. They want you to ask whether they’re fine again, so they’re sure you really care, and after that they will open up.
People ask thing's they doesn't really want hear an honest answer to. (Courtesy phrases)
Also to many comes with stupid responses that makes the situation worse that in itself breaks trust.
One simple rule to live by. Don't ask thing's you don't want an honest answer to or really don't want to know.
(to many female's have a problem with this)
It's because people have busy lives so the approach is "I don't want to hear your problems" because the next word of advice is, "well go get help". Therefore, people can put on a fake smile and say everything is fine. I have talked to people who have really felt down on themselves to push them back up and not expect anything in return. God is watching my actions as well and hopefully God is pleased with the help or sincerity I provide.
Because it's not always the time or place to discuss what's wrong. Or sometimes the person asking is not trustworthy to hear the answer.
Because the only people that really care are your mum and dad... I don't even know if siblings do. I heard a girl talk about her siblings, all sisters and they dont even know each others favourite colour, she says if they're passing on the stairs they'll say hello but they have their own lives separate to each other... 🤯 can you believe this?
Usually depressed people don’t want to admit that their no okay , with the fear of being judged or being a burden on others. I have bipolar disorder and it can be hard to admit your in pain but it took me a while to become more confident in explaining who I am. That’s the only way I’ve been able to have treatment all these years.
For me personally, I deal better with all of my issues alone and always have, because of that more issues come up because I think I'm a boring person/partner, that and voicing my problems in person is very embarrassing, human or not
Because people usually only ask out of politeness and don’t want to hear other people complain. So I say what they want to hear which is “Yes, I’m fine” .
It’s because due to a stressful past people prefer to hold things in then to be deemed as weak or judged by their peers... it’s not many who will listen and be that comforting friend as needed without strings attached
Often it is because they don't really have a legitimate reason to be depressed, they just are. Often because they don't want to seem weak by seeking help and don't want to bother others.
And often it just seems useless, most problems are not solvable by others so they know they will just be wasting time and energy trying to explain and the best they can expect from the other person is some pep talk, nobody wants that.
Autopilot response, because they're disengaged.
Like when someone behind the counter asks how you're doing. Many people quickly say "I'm good thanks" before going on to give an order. There are varying degrees of that same thing.
It's not polite to admit having issues because if you tell them they can call you insecure, a pussy, claim you feel entitled, etc.
Never admit to having a problem because the person will use it against you. That's why women want men to open up, to have leverage.
Because if someone says they are not a normal person would ask why, that is the human thing to do. People don't always want to talk about their problems, especially not with anyone.
Because I don't to be a burden on anyone with my problems
Want*
It isn't a burden if they care about you!
Because sometimes people might not understand your feelings, what makes you sad it’s something private, because then people will give cookie-cutter responses trying to make yourself happy that are just stupidly useless and don’t want to waste time or argue because of that.
There are lots of reasons for that.