Why do good girls start smoking?

My ex/current/pseudo girlfriend have been off and on for almost 3 years now. Back in the beginning of our relationship we both commented on how much her roommates smoking bothered her. And she complained to me and others for HOURS about how her best friend started smoking.I mean, this girl (when intoxicated) would occasionally take cigarettes out of people's mouths and stomp them out! But when we broke up for a period of time she started smoking, not hard-core cigs but those clove ones. She HATED smokers and told me how she couldn't stand anything with them and I always told her I would never date a smoker. She was horribly depressed but come on? It completely blows my mind how she could do that? Does she just have 0 self-respect or what? Just no back-bone?

(She's never smoked in front of me and lied to me about it for a while too)

- Frustrated Boyfriend


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm still a good girl and smoke, so does that make me a bad girl now? I can understand your concern for your girlfriend especially the health concerns, but is that what is really bothering you? her smoking, or the fact that she did not tell you and lied about it?

    I have soo much self respect for myself, but yet I still smoke, it's called an addiction, it does not make you a bad person, maybe stupid (i'll admitt) but not bad! I don't respect myself any less because I smoke.

    Hating smokers, is kinda strong? don't ya think? Your judging someone based on that? A little superficial don't ya think? Maybe you don't like smoke, or the effects of smoke, or don't want to be around it, but I think hating smokers is silly, that's like hating anyone with an addiction, and we all have them, so.

    Talk to her, ask her why she is smoking, tell her what it will do to her, be supportive!

    But again, I will go back to, I don't really think its the smoking that bothers you, I think it is the fact that you didn't know, that she was hiding it from you, you need to deal with that, sounds like a bigger issue, does she trust you? doesn't sound like it, why? that's a question you need to ask yourself, why didn't she tell me? Maybe if you were a more open minded person about things, she would of told you. Until you walk in someone's foot steps you can't judge them, and until you've experienced something you should not give anyone advise either. Everyone has there opinions, there like assholes, everyone's got one.

    I hope you never have any addictions in your life time, and if you do, I hope you are surrounded by people you can trust and who support you.

    • Thank you VERY much for your thorough response, I really appreciate it. I've got a few more ?'s

      -I didn't mean you actually bad, just stereotypically so no you're not actually bad now.

      -It truly is that I hate both, I'm oddly horribly allergic to formaldehyde (additive) and I HATE virtually everything surrounding it but it bothers me a lot she lied too.

      -I should have said, we hated SMOKING and everything that surrounds it

      -She said she smoked because of stress and curiosity


    • Well let's hope it was just for curiousity and she's done now, it's a nasty addiction and if she can stop now, she will be ahead of the game. Your a great person to care so much!!!

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What Girls Said 2

  • People are more likely to start smoking if they know other people who smoke. It's not necessarily because of self-esteem or pressure from others, they just view it as more acceptable as time goes on.

  • Maybe she wanted to see what the appeal was. It happens.

    • I just don't understand how you can go form polar opposites at the drop of a hat

    • It's not at the drop of a hat. You only think it is. It's a gradual process, where she becomes more curious and curious about smoking until it becomes something she's totally curious about trying. If you see enough people doing it around you, I think that's only a natural response.

What Guys Said 1