Does constant rejection build or break character?

Question

I'm not only referring to being rejected by the opposite sex. It can also be job university applications, being rejected by family e. t. c.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes, as someone who's grown up with a lot of difficulties I've really struggled.

I couldn't have a lot of the things other kids did. I have dyslexia, dyspraxia and short term memory lost as well as coming from a poor working class family.

Fortunately my parents were very hard working and made sure i had a great up bringing and also got to see and do things other children never got to. My parents are extremely supportive and have fort hard to give me the same upbringing as others.

But no matter how hard they tried it couldn't stop the battle i was having in my head constantly. Id get bullied at school for being different, my grades were never good, i got rejected from schools id worked equally as hard to get into because teachers didn't want my grades on their records. I just wasn't good at tests, the only test i ever passed was the one to see if i had dyslexia. Im a good, hard working person and i will do anything just to feel accepted somewhere and work my arse off harder than anyone else because i never want to lose the chance that person has given me because id worked so dam hard to get it and appreciate it so much.

Every job I've had I've worked extremely hard but always had struggles with training and got let go. Yet I've also been the best worker. I just couldn't do the tests.

This has caused me to have low self belief and worth in myself. I've always let myself believe im not good enough and people try to resure me but im better than i think and deserve good things. It's caused me to have no confidence and a lot of anxiety in certain situations because i don't think anyone will take me seriously to the point I've had nervous break downs and stopped myself from doing things i want to.

I didn't bother having a relationship till i was 21 because boys just didn't take me seriously and thought i was stupid. They'd treat as a joke. Even boys i loved ended up pushing me away because they saw me as a embarrassments by association. I was just that retard girl too them and their friends and something to laugh at.

I can also say it's help me build character in some way. Im witty and can laugh at myself because i don't think im the shit like so many others do that others find appealing but they always end up throwing me away in the end like a broken toy when things get difficult.
Im also extremely hard working and greatful for the things i do have in my life. Im more grateful for my family and boyfriend and the roof over my head.

I've learnt to measure my success on my happiness not on status. So many people believe having good grades, lots of money, good job etc will make them happy but what happens once you lose them all. That boss you worked so hard for hasn't got your back once he let's you go he's on holiday living it up off of your hard work.

I've learnt sometimes there's no shame im giving up on your dreams they are dreams for a reason, dreams aren't real and you can always make new ones. People will try to tell you money and success is the dream you need to chase when it's all a lie. All that success will just lead you into a never ending hamster wheel trying to make money for the big man then never having time to spend it and then you die.

The easy, simple life is sometimes the best. I never want to live to work ever again now im out of a toxic job that just used me. I wanna work purely so i can live, as long as I've got good people around me and im happy thats all that matters.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

When I was growing up my dad would constantly put me down and say I’m not good enough and now I’m fiercely resistant to social criticism - I told a guy somebody could take my private diary and read it to the entire world so the entire world knows my secrets and I would feel no shame whatsoever - I have no fear of man because I was rejected over and over again and that toughened me up

ButterSauce · Answer

I am always rejected. ALWAYS! Even after I think I get the job or the guy, later, rejected! It does help build character in a way and it helps you realize that people are absolutely nonsense! For the first decade of being rejected I was hurt and took it personally but then later I could see that most people don't know what they really want. They think they do! They find someone who fits their needs perfectly and then reject them because... I don't know why yet, but if you get what you want and then reject it doesn't that mean yo ultimately have no idea what you want?
My family does not accept me because I am intelligent and stand for something, I don't conform but I do stand for a cause; integrity.
Guys reject me because... I dont know
Work places reject me... also don't know, I have strong work ethic and Im responsible. I have great references also.
Schools would reject me because on paper it looks like I'm not smart in High School, but there is nowhere to write that I had to take care of my little sister because my parents were alcoholics.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on the person, their personality, their viewpoint of things that happen, etc.
For me, it's been a rough go of things. I've applied to thousands of jobs, maybe had a few interviews, and the few jobs I did manage to get, they either didn't pay what they promised, or they were crap jobs - "I'm not fast enough" but I'd do a good job, but even after clients lauded my work, I'd get fired for not being quick enough. The people with years of loyalty in the company were treated poorly and weren't paid well, so it's not a big loss, and I'm better off probably, but still, felt like I didn't get much of a chance.

I got tired of looking, and getting constant rejection - calling up, following up, getting ignored... the usual - so years ago, I pretty much stopped bothering - I've been trying to make my "dream job" a thing, and I have a part-time job that I'm good at, but I've been working at it for ages, and it feels like it's time to leave. But it's something. With my dream job, no one really wants to pay for it. It's constant rejection, and while I'm good at work, I'm not good at selling, and I'm tired of the lack of paid work and the constant "no's" (and the "maybes" that are actually no's). It's been a struggle to even find clients.

I still have character. But I can say that getting so much rejection (rough childhood, a crappy dating life, and constant work rejection has not been good for any kind of confidence.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Well, it depends on a person’s system or mechanism of viewing and handling these rejections. The sum total of a person’s environment and biology will cause them to act in ways that are in accordance with these two things. It’s difficult to know why someone did something and not another, as we cannot read their minds and even they themselves cannot determine the exact cause of their actions, thoughts, and decisions. So, rejection can both break some people’s character and can build some people’s character; it all depends on the person’s unique makeup.

MecheD · Answer

Yes , I would have to say both. It built my vocabulary a tad bit as to incorporate the word “no” I in fact was what you called a “simp” for those who don’t know what the term means it’s a short way to call me or another being took advantage of as a pushover. During this journey you could say it’s like trying to fine the sweet spot of a shorted electric cord. I completely fell into the pits in every facet of my life. Although this is still going on I’m proud to say I am a product of a built and broken individual.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

constant rejection can break some ones character so much that they become depressed and distraught into thinking about suicidal ! they may commit suicide just to get away from this person and because they do not have what it takes to go on with life ! thanks

Soteris · Answer

Depends. Constant failure can lead to self-improvement if there is a lesson to be learned from it. If you get rejected because of arbitrary reasons especially if those reasons are outside your control I think it actually pushes you to become a worse person.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Both.
It can send you i to depression and that's the worst outcome.

But mostly it breaks you down so you get to learn to build yourself up. Stronger every time. So, both, it break your character, pokes holes into it. It unveils your flaws so you can work on them, teaches you to move forward and play the long game.

Texaskid1 · Answer

Constant challenges from work or school can build character. But constant romantic rejection is - as far as I am concerned - a road to bitterness which can permeate for years. Long story short I remember years ago I was really into this one woman and she rejected me. The emotions I felt for her were very powerful but they were unreciprocated. This caused me a lot a pain. It took me years to get over it. This was not the first time I had been rejected but that experience in particular caused me a lot of bitterness. In the meantime there were several good looking women who were nearly throwing themselves at me but I rejected them due to the bitterness I felt.

The result of constant rejection can to lead to a certain cynicism - an impenetrable wall around the heart.

Anonymous · Answer

I think constant rejection is probably extremely damaging, i would suggest that reward needs to come at the correct intervals and the challenges in between need to be enough for growth but not excessive so as to be overwelming / counter productive.

You might want to look at the sort of reward schedules that are used in mmorpgs (games) this is psychological conditioning actually which is a little different and not really anything to do with character building but i think there are strong links between these 2 ideas, if something is too hard people just won't do it and if its too easy they won't learn anything.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

The vast majority will break. A small few will come out better for it. Imagine applying for college and getting 50 rejection letters before getting into one. Then upon graduating you can't find a job in your field so you have to settle for a job and not a career. Then to top it off you've been rejected by every person you've ever asked out. I don't imagine many people could handle all that and come out for the better. There are always exceptions who never give up but lets be real. Thats not even close to the majority.

genericname85 · Answer

constant rejection breaks your character. just like "working out" breaks the muscle. the healing process is what builds strength.

the difficulty with rejection is to defend your self esteem. you have to separate your feeling of self from the fact that you were rejected.

purplepoppy · Answer

It crushes people and makes them feel worthless. It's pointless to keep trying, that leads to more disappointment, you have to try something else.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I think it depends on the situation. Rejection from potential partners or break ups can lead someone to not really believe in true love but can go and build their careers and lives up. Constant job rejection entirely another story because there’s no silver lining to it that I can see.

Loudeski · Answer

Constant rejection can break someone’s character but also build it. For example, being held back. If you’re held back a grade or two- does it make you want to push forward or give up? I personally would want to give up. I know some people however that would say they would just push harder but I feel like being held back takes a big toll on your mental health and breaks you. Not necessarily rejection but I thought that comparison made sense.

RickPen · Answer

Depending on the person, a certain amount of rejection is healthy to build perseverance. Constant, chronic rejection is destructive, especially when it relates to job or university applications, as those may not be fairly weighted. Relationship rejection has never bothered me, because I was the one rejecting others.

Pachomay · Answer

Well look at villains, they were constantly rejected by their family or by society as a whole. Which lead them to be who they currently are, but they are also considered broken.
I don't know how to explain it!

buddies · Answer

Rejection, and any hardship for that matter, is what you make of it. You decide if it makes you or breaks you. It is a choice to take something hard or disappointing and turn it into a stepping stone for your success.

alc24 · Answer

I guess it depends on the person. Some may break down slowly until they can’t handle it anymore while others thrive being rejected and improve and build themselves. Or they could be a mixture of both depending on what they got rejected from.

NorthShoreCalling · Answer

Constant throughout life would eventually break anyone, but a few continual is just life, if you pass the challenge you reap the rewards! You have to go beyond what you think you can. It isn't that easy for anyone in one way or another. Everyone has their personal battles. It's not about how hard you gte hit, it's about how you keep going. If you need a break, take it. But don't quit if you really want it, always focus on what motivated you to try in the first place.

CrystalSnowflakes · Answer

Both. It builds one's personality that I like to call the public personna, but once they're alone they start to feel the toll of the rejection.

EABsTUQ · Answer

The feeling of hopelessness is largely associated with suicide. It all depends on how you take the rejection. Like for instance, in dating it is important to know that it's more about the other person than you. You can do everything right and just not be what they want. In other cases, you can look at being rejected as stepping stones. It can help you see how to get better and where you went wrong. It can help you get accepted.

red324 · Answer

Well lets just say after high school I was full of drive and ambition, but after 2 years of college and every teacher barely passing me, I have to say it sure did drain the life out of me and even today I feel like that ambition never really returned.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Well, that depends on how you perceive and conceptualize it. If you take it as "oh no, I'm not good enough, I'm a failure" - you'll very soon have no character left. If you take it as "I gave it my best, this simply. wasn't right for me" or "I will try harder and do better next time" you'll empower and improve yourself and very soon find yourself successful. It's all a question of are you a self-made winner, or a self-entitled loser.

OnlyMyOpinion · Answer

What don't kill you make you stronger but only if you become less afraid of it as a result. If you become more afraid of it, you have become weaker.

_SOARER · Answer

Depends on the person. It has helped my character a lot. Although at times I felt like breaking down.

sheikalana · Answer

Most of the time it builds character but it can also break your character in ways that you start doubting on yourself and give up on your dreams.

pajamasam · Answer

It builds... to a certain point and then it breaks you so hard. Like the beginning
Of a Rollercoaster it can build you and make you so ready to work harder and then eventually its going to hit you the wrong way and send you barreling

Anonymity123999 · Answer

i think it depends on the person but for myself id say break

Silver158 · Answer

Bit of both. It'll build character in the sense of the opposite sex that you won't care when you get rejected anymore. In the case of jobs it'll break you first before you pick yourself back up and change your strategy or find something more you if you get me?

Source: been there done that,

Bandit74 · Answer

I think it depends on the person. Some people are legitimately motivated and grow from it while others are crushed and discouraged.

CuteNerd9 · Answer

Builds character in the long run, but breaks the spirit in the short term.

DonCachondo · Answer

It depends a lot on how you're raised and the lessons you picked up from your early life experiences, but I think it's fair to say that even the most resilient person has a breaking point.

angry_ogunsoto · Answer

In general, those who succeed are the ones who never give up. Successful people have failed many times to become successful because it requires many failed attempts to achieve a good end result. So, it makes you stronger and more determined because you learn from your mistakes.

BlueScorpio · Answer

If it's constant, then yes it can break someone's confidence and self esteem after a while. Humans don't like rejections cause we are social beings who wanted to be accepted and part of society.

Be4rdy · Answer

Of course it breaks people how would you like someone putting down your every move or idea, you would soon give up wouldn't you?

I know first hand what it's like I've finally gotten to the point in my life with everything where I'm just like fuck it, and have hid away from pretty much everyone for the last 6 months

But I left a job I hated so it's all good

makriks · Answer

It depends. Some people can get stronger from the continues rejections while other can go in a deep depression.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh yeah, I’ve been rejected from job applications, family, life, women, etc... it helps to build up character to question women who tell me they’re dating now I don’t believe them. But rejection also helped to tear me apart that life means taking risks, etc... and I feel worthless because society expects so much of men and what the world expects, the world is also unwilling to give.

ClosetHoe · Answer

I think it depends on the person. Some people after being rejected, end up becoming a totally different person (in a good way) but others let it haunt them for the rest of their lives.

winterfox10 · Answer

It can build character if you learn why you are being rejected. A lot of times, people won't have the stones to reject you properly, so they just try and ghost. When you get ghosted, you can't learn anything; and that's not fair.

SphynxUK · Answer

I think it depends on the individual and what state of mind they have/had at the time. Some Knock backs are easier to handle.

An_Impulse · Answer

depends on the person. some might give up on the subject. some might get stubborn and work on it.. im neither.. and i couldnt care less about rejection. i get rejected a lot in my social life.. so its a bit of a immunity after some time :)

Regmorus · Answer

Depends on individual. But there is a limit to everything I guess.

SaraSmithishere · Answer

Break. I can't imagine how applying for tons of jobs and being rejected or being shut down by members of the opposite sex (or the same one, if you're gay or bi) would improve upon your character.

Daniel3035 · Answer

Yes it gets ridiculous. You just go what's the point with toxic women.

ddiaamoonddss · Answer

It depends on the person. Some people are more confident and braver than other people.

Edanurus · Answer

Rejection is part of life and something that we need to be able to deal with in that sense it builds character.

But it doesn't matter who you are constant rejection will break you eventually its just a case of how long you can last.

Anonymous · Answer

I think a little of both. The initial reaction is usually hurt, but long-term, I think it can make you more resilient. Someone once told me that every "no" is just one step closer to a "yes".

Daniel_Dano · Answer

Yes but if you have a strong personality and willpower rejection won't affect you

Anonymous · Answer

Having lot of self-confidence when everyone wants you, isn't an big a personal achievement. Keeping your confidence while everyone turns their back on you is a lesson that you have to learn.

loveslongnails · Answer

It does neither - your character is already established. What happens to you only brings it to light.

Machiavellio · Answer

Depends on the person. Leaders aren't wired to be broken by rejection

StockholmEwan · Answer

Depends on how you view it - yes rejection is tough but it’s apart of life, dating and careers especially. You just have to keep pushing forward and realize an opportunity will emerge if you keep improving.

1828avaava1828 · Answer

It all depends on how a person reacts to it and takes action! Woot

NerdInDenial · Answer

It wears on you and eventually, you tend to doubt yourself.

FishTwixOwO · Answer

Depends who you are and what it is. It makes me better when I fuck up royally, but some people get worse than they do that. I don't recommend going out of your way to do that though.

likelyOK · Answer

Being rejected by family can really hurt

Liam_Hayden · Answer

It depends upon the person. Some whither and die. Others thrive through adversity.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Constant rejection with limited success does Build character, but constant rejection with 0 success makes you bitter and depressed.

tHISpLACEiSbONKERZ · Answer

Wouldn't know. Maybe stop aiming higher than that what you have to offer. Or better yourself so you have more.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel it makes you work harder and smarter i was rejected from one LE Agency and i ended up finding out everything there was to know and doing all the research and readying myself and i know everything now

Does constant rejection build or break character?

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