Why do people hate shy people? Why girls are mean to me?

[Sugar100]

I had this condition as child called selective mutism where a person freezes can’t speak in social places. Whole life I was shy had no friends. Now as I’ll be 23 I bicker with mom daily, I have my own studio but I’m lonley I don’t get to see boyfriend often, I have anxiety that made me unable eat and choke on food daily. At past jobs girls gossiped of me even tho I was nice, they were mean. My cousin fought me years ago and she was jealous of things I had or how I dressed. I have now a clothing business but I’m alone in room working daily. Moms friends think I’m mentally ill All becuz I’m sick with anxiety. Many girls are hard talk to and don’t like me as I don’t talk much yet I get along better with guys I can say anything. I have no sisters.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I can relate to finding it easier to talk to guys. They just seem more laid back, generally less judgmental and gossipy, and many of them share the silly sense of humor I have. I can't put my finger on why, but it's so much harder with girls. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've had some very toxic female friends over the years who have backstabbed me, were very catty and gossipy, and would get jealous or highly competitive out of nowhere, so I'm more on edge around a lot of girls.

As a pretty quiet and shy person myself, I think some people are off put by shy people because they mistake their quietness for rudeness or disinterest. I know I have accidentally come off that way to people, when in reality I just didn't know what to say and didn't want to just blurt something random out that made no sense.

Unfortunately, some girls don't like other girls no matter what and see them all as threats or competition, and their life goal seems to be to put other girls down in order to lift themselves up. These types of girls (as well as people who tend to be mean and put down others in general) are very insecure, and insecure people tend to do cruel things in an attempt to feel better about themselves. Rather than improving themselves, they try to knock everyone else down to their level or below.

[caring__1]

People are often uncomfortable if they don't feel in control of their situation. When they aren't patient enough to get to know shy people, these people become an unknown irritant to them. Hate is different than dislike. Hatred is merely a projection of our expectations not being met. Shy people tend to be very sensitive to criticism and rejection, so they don't freely reveal vulnerability. Some people get angry when others hold back and don't choose to reveal. They resent those who (from their perspective) deem them unworthy of receiving this information. Shy people aren't determining who is worthy of receiving from them; they are more concerned about protecting themselves from potential harm.

Girls are mean because they believe that is the only tool they have to rise to the top of the heap. They are trained by their daddies to believe they are princesses. By the 5th grade, they start competing to see who will be queen. Boys may hurt each other, but they aren't cruel like girls, who are more likely to focus on embarrassing and destroying their competition. You'll never change these girls who are doing everything in their power to reach and remain on top, so minimize contact with them rather than expect them to change for you.

Your description of yourself shows more than just shyness or introversion. You appear to be dealing with an anxiety disorder. Seeking a professional to help you work through this can increase your comfort with yourself and your situation. Understand, you'll still be shy and introverted after therapy, but there is nothing wrong with being shy and introverted. Learn to understand, appreciate and be happy with yourself rather than expect yourself to be something you're not. I don't care how hard you try, you'll never be a tree.

[Jjpayne]

I think for girls, they connect verbally. It's how they bond. If you are not talking much they can't totally bond with you. It may not be for all girls but gossip is a thing that is rooted from girls simply just wanting to talk. I think verbal communication is vital when it comes to girls... Or at least I think so anyways...

[alice55]

I have no idea, people prefer assholes who are loud rather than a nice shy person. I used to be extremely shy and people bullied me because I was an easy target then later in life I got less shy but still never talked cause I'm an introvert and only speak when I feel something is interesting or I have something smart to say if not I keep quiet but I always get shit for it which is completely crazy.
I think people just don't like shy / introvert people cause they don't know what those people think.

[Sugar100]

So I’m supposed be alone forever?

[Sugar100]

I’m only happy with boyfriend

[alice55]

No; you can find friends that are also introvert / shy, it's what I do.

[Changiis07]

Wow your own business man that is amazing!! You just need to get out moe and be around people who like you for you and are mature not gossiping. Try going to a Christian church real devoted christians aren't mean

[Anonymous]

Just go to some place, where people with same interest as you go regularly, like same hobby,...

You will have something to talk about in common...

I have similar think, I just need to listen and understand about that person before I can speak to him/her and I'm bad at all that small talk nonsense...

[Massageman]

People can be mean- believe me, I've been there. Ignore them and carry on.

Look up a Toastmasters Chapter nearby and improve speaking skills.

[DavidFox]

You are not the norm so others choose to be mean, it gets better as you get older.

[alice55]

It actually doesn't, in workplace if you don't talk people treat you like shit and talk badly behind your back.

[DavidFox]

Not every work place. As an adult you can have a say where you work. But growing up you have to go to a certain school.

[DavidFox]

It’s never perfect but it does get better

[alice55]

False, it's like that everywhere, they would always be someone that find you weird. And you can change of school more easily than change of work. At least in my country

[DavidFox]

Come to Florida. We have nice towns and not everyone is an asshole. I know because I go places with a few cousins who are not the norm and most people are polite and engage with them socially. One works at Walmart and loves it. Sorry to hear things are bad where you live.

[alice55]

I'm French so this is a little too far away for me but it's good to gear not every work environment have assholes in it.

[Juxtapose]

Shy people are incredibly boring to converse with because you have to carry the conversation on your back.

[Valnac]

You should get counseling.
social anxiety can be treated!

[Sugar100]

Yes but people r mean I don’t get along with young adults my age girls r mean and only with boyfriend shopping at store, it’s different most live with boyfriend and have own life. Or hang out with sisters at their baby showers etc

[Valnac]

That’s not right, but you still have to fix the issue. Then you can communicate with people and then they won’t mess with you.

[mrgspoter]

Well anything you like to ask, and they did it because they could just how weird people are sometimes

[888theGreat]

are you black or white?