Why do people hate shy awkward people so much?

Question

like im really awkward I can't really change that.. and people don't like me, and my only friend (he doesn't like me that much btw) doesn't want to help me overcome my shyness like why do they hate people like me so much?

Fishycx · Accepted Answer

Unfortunately it's inevitable to cross paths with individuals who may not like you and may, as you say, hate you. There's some benefits to being more of a reserved, quietness that can come of being shy and potentially awkward depending on the awkwardness and to what degree. People might bully you or try to tear you down or whatever but honestly they just don't fully understand you and unfortunately a lot of individuals that judge don't know the person they talk to or at least to some degree. People like to assume things when someone is quiet, shy, or socially awkward. I understand there is a difference in being quiet and shy and awkward but let me tell you, experiencing all of this and still dealing with it it's hard sometimes because people will dislike you for what they don't understand and may want to avoid all together but it's okay to be how you are. We're all different. As far as friends are concerned they can be hard to come by. There are some amazing people in this world and hopefully sometime soon you'll meet some of them. Until then just remember that there will be people who will accept you for who you are and it's all going to workout. The friend you have seems interesting as you say they are unwilling to help you overcome your situations. I'd think a friend would be encouraging you to get out of the shy and awkwardness but you could just talk to them about it. They may not even realize that they are hindering your potential overcoming of it all unintentionally.

purplephoenix · Accepted Answer

I think one of the main reasons people avoid shy/awkward people (and this is coming from someone who is also extremely awkward) is because they seem uncomfortable (based upon body language and how much you seem to conform with the ideologies of a certain group of people) In social situations. I also think a lot of people tend to (unintentionally) dehumanize us and place us into certain sub-par categories and call us weird or strange. I don't really think people think about the fact that most awkward people really want to be accepted and to be able to be around people that understand and accept their awkwardness rather than call attention to it.

I have social anxiety so I AM very uncomfortable when I have to socialize with people I don't know or if I'm in large crowds.

Being awkward makes it extremely difficult to make friends. But when you find the right people aka the fellow "weirdos" it gets so much better because you get comfortable enough with them to feel like you're not awkward.

Secret22 · Accepted Answer

In my opinion I love awkward people, if 'awkward' is what you want to call it. Don't let this word define who you are or let it make you feel like you're less than anything you are. Shy people make AWSOME friends because they are usually loyal, listen, and honest. There are so many good qualities that follow when it comes to someone's personality type like yours :) People who don't understand tend to stay away because they haven't experienced it or know how to approach. A good conversation will first come along because of mutual understanding, so because they don't understand why you are shy or not know what you are interested in, they prefer to stay in their comfort zone. Just be who you are and find someone just as awesome as you are, but don't force it to happen. Just let life happen! :) Stay AWSOME :3

Xonen · Accepted Answer

First of all, you have to identify what the cause for your sense of "shyness" or "awkwardness" is. Are you afraid people won't accept you for who you are? This is generally the stem of most people's awkward/shyness. The reason you might feel that others won't accept you is because you yourself have observed things about yourself that you don't find acceptable. Work on fixing these things. This could be anything like a bad habit (licking your toenails, eating your belly-button lint, etc). Another thing you've got to work on is building your self confidence. If you're not proud of your physical figure, put yourself on a diet/workout. Also take care of your hygiene (shower frequently, keep your teeth clean, comb your hair or at least give it some style that doesn't look like you just walked out of bed). Once you feel comfortable about your body, the confidence will naturally settle in and it will promote your happiness. You will naturally give off a healthier glow and everyone around you will notice that you're a fun, confident guy and want to give you their attention.

Freddius · Accepted Answer

Hate is such a strong word. Frankly, as with many shy people, I believe you are overly conscientious and therefor, at times, self excluding. Which may give others the perception that you're uncomfortable in their presence. And, in turn, cause them to feel uncomfortable and perhaps look to avoid you.

In all fairness, there are many well liked shy people, regardless of their lack of their awkwardness. Sure, looks or other attributes may be a factor, but the point is, they aren't hated or disliked due to their deficits.

Nevertheless, since you cannot control what others do, or not do, to accommodate your shy, awkward tendencies, perhaps it would be wise for you to work towards building upon your confidence and social skills. Which may include professional counseling, etc. Self advancement leads to self esteem. When this is achieved, you will not need the acceptance of the others.

strength98 · Answer

I would not say I am shy or awkward in anyway, BUT, I have a thing for guys who are. My boyfriend is a computer gaming nerd and he doesn't talk much. I don't mind because it brings me comfort knowing that he will talk to me. I know he isn't going to mess around behind my back, I know I have earned my spot in his small social life and that means a lot. Often times shy people will give the impression that they don't like anyone because they won't talk to anyone, therefore people think they are assholes. People think that shy people are secretive for the wrong reason, and people don't enjoy being nervous and not knowing everything about a persons life. People are nosey assholes, I'm sorry you have to experience that.

Hopefuldreamer8 · Answer

I am extremely shy and awkward and I've never met anyone who hates me for it. Also, I don't expect my friends to help me. Maybe that's why people don't like you. It's because you expect them to do things for you. I've always been shy and awkward but I've never expected people to help me. I force myself even if I am really nervous to do it. I am a very independent person despite my shyness and I could never just rely on other people. I've been doing everything by myself for years. I've lived on my own for years.

ixi10 · Answer

They don't hate you. They don't understand you. Why should other people be expected to help you? Why can't you be a grown up and take responsibility into your own hands? Stop expecting people to give you whatever you want, you need to make an effort. You're not a victim

Dipsy · Answer

They don't like you as much as other people, because you can't really chat with them/joke with them/have fun with them.
People prefer to have friends who they can have fun with, rather than those where they can't have fun with.

If you want to overcome your shyness, you should do things you've never dared to do before (e. g. talk to a girl. Or make a joke)

Can you answer my question please: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1350244-is-this-normal-girl-behaviour-i-don-t-really-think-so

deActivator · Answer

Try to search for the article in TIme named: "Can Entrepreneurship Be Taught? Richard Branson’s Mother Says Yes". I was thinking about shyness and this idea made me really question shyness problem: “Shyness is being introverted and thinking only of yourself”. Eventually It comes down to selfishness, which people don't like. You can be more outgoing by doing three things: 1. Remember and use names of people you talk to. 2. Give people compliments, for any reason possible 3. Create eye contact with people (smile with your eyes), about 50-70% of conversation time. Try that. :)

thewanderingme · Answer

I don't think they do hate you. I've always been shy and awkward and people have told me it comes of as being sad or angry all the time. people probably just don't think you're approachable, they're afraid you'll be mean to them. it hard, I know, but just try to loosen up.

estan014 · Answer

Maybe because when someone is shy, they tend to be out-of-place? But only for reasons like people not understanding their 'true' personality traits and mistaking them as being 'indifferent'. I mean, im shy too!! And some people just feel like they need to know about everything!! Who cares that others think!!

steveguitar · Answer

I'm with you man.

Yeah people have a hard time around us, whether it be that we're shy, quiet, are not doing the same thing or have the same life experiences as them, they can't relate. And they dont really try. And if they do try, they only tty once then you are out of their lives.

I think that here are people out there that we are able to talk to and be around, but maybe we are just meant to be alone, and we have to find something that brings us happiness in our loneliness

Accipiter · Answer

Shy and awkward people make it a real chore to converse with them. Social interactions shouldn't be difficult, they should be easy. When you overcomplicate something that isn't very hard to do for most people, you'll alienate yourself from the rest of society.

kirsten_kangaroo · Answer

Being shy sucks. I'm probably the shyest person in the world. I have friends, but I feel like because I'm so shy, they don't really care about me. I could probably disappear for a week, and the only people that would notice are my teachers. I even have been becoming distant with my best friend (and we have been friends for seven years), because she has other friends, and I'm just too shy to say anything. So basically, being shy is the worst trait I have :(

potsticker · Answer

I feel like a lot of people avoid me in real life. I've texted a bunch of people to hang out and no one wants to, that's when they respond. I kind of feel like people hate me, and it's not because I'm annoying or really weird, I think a lot of people just don't like shy people.

Anonymous · Answer

Heyy ill help i had one of those time periods too, just try to meet people i know it sounds impossible but set goals. I have noticed it becomes much easier to be less shy when you are comfortable around certain people. As for the awkwardness all you need is someone to be awkward with

WhaChaChaKing · Answer

Because they don't understand us. To them talking to someone is as simple as walking over to them and opening their mouth when it's much more difficult to us. They don't get why we have a hard time talking to people and think we are just fabricating our problems. Many people have told me "just talk to people" like it's that easy when it simply isn't. Outgoing people will never fully understand shy people.

ILikeToilet · Answer

I LOVE shy guys :o  All the guys that I talk to were shy guys but I came along and forced them to talk to me even though I was probably annoying. If I was there, I would have cured you friend!

Anonymous · Answer

They have no value, that's why. A shy person isn't going to get far in business because they won't network, so knowing them doesn't improve my career. They aren't going to have many friends, so I won't get to meet a lot of people., plus they'll be more needy. They'll sit at home in a corner and shrivel rather than going out to do something. They'll have awful social skills, so they won't be fun to spend time with. Waste of time dealing with shy people.

buttf4rt · Answer

Why are you complaining about them hating you if you choose to never talk? YOu expect them to read your fucking mind or something? Why do some people act like talking is so damn hard seriously.

GoodNamesWereTaken · Answer

Awkward people are the best! Usually shyness makes them even more awkward around me [because I'm exactly not, shy] and then I enjoy them more because they're awkward, so I'm around them more and eventually the shyness goes away, my not-shy kinda rubs off, they make friends, and are just moderately uncomfortable around me. [Which is an improvement.]

Illusive_Man · Answer

Cause they are difficult to talk to you know what I mean? I stick out an olive branch and they bat at it then runaway. It gets a bit tiring over a while ya know?

Springfairy · Answer

I'm a very shy person as well. But ever since I got a job working with customers, I've opened up so much more. Perhaps join a group/club or job that you would enjoy?

AnggieGirl · Answer

Chin up. Dont worry about what they think. You're in your head too much and should go to the gym and build some confidence. Be safe and you're you're only critic.

GoodDogNigel · Answer

Because people are naturally drawn to those who are confident, self-assured, and can make those around them feel safe and secure. People like us don't give people those feelings, and so they look down on us.

thechica · Answer

because they are to quite, shy and just awkward... I

AthleticMom · Answer

Ever read Brer Rabbit & the Tar Baby? ... then you'll "get it"

AnnieNotTheOrphan · Answer

I personally don't, for some reason, I'm attracted to shy guys.

T-shirtsandkneehighs · Answer

Overcome it yourself, you don't need anyone else to help you.  Would you believe that I used to be sooo fucking shy? I didn't have friends to pull me out of it, you've got to deal with it yourself

cjmtherfcker · Answer

They don't hate you. people are status creatures and have a need to feel superior. Shy awkward people give some the best vehicle to achieving this feeling of superiority

DaveyYourFavey · Answer

I simply can't answer this :/  You see... I hate you

Genie23 · Answer

Huhhhh, what? :-! I love shy people. Well, I just think they are... Cute! :-)

GutterGarbage · Answer

I love awkward and strange people! Shy people I'm indifferent.

Toad-1 · Answer

i've never felt this hatred in my life and im pretty dang shy and awkward so i got no idea what you mean :o

meatballs21 · Answer

You don't act in an expected or predictable way. Which is to say I don't either.

VioletCouple · Answer

Narcissism. And if you are talking about women, then they don't think you can protect them against all the violent narcissistic men out there.

Anonymous · Answer

i want you to think about this question really hard

Neko_Chan · Answer

I wasn't aware that people hated me. :(

NerdInDenial · Answer

It's because they don't understand you.

wom77 · Answer

dont change..

c_mariee · Answer

its hard to talk to people like that sometimes:(

Coolguy1928 · Answer

Because people are bullshit nowadays. :/

Tokana · Answer

Cause they're boring and no fun to be around

Why do people hate shy awkward people so much?

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