Dead beat dad returns for my help: what would you do in my situation?

[Smileygirl2000]

My so called father has been in and out of my life since my mom and him divorced when I was like 6. Made promises yet never showed up. He missed all my graduations, all my birthdays and every important aspect of my life. When I talked to him about it he could not come up with any excuses. Now I've been getting calls from his sister saying " your Dad has said you're not answering his calls or text and he needs you to be the beneficiary over his life insurance to bury him if something happens to him because your brother isn't reliable. If you don't want to bury your dad just say that! I'm a business woman and if you don't want nothing to do with us just say that!" I didn't respond to the text or call

Updates

12 d

I appreciate everyone's comments regarding my situation and just because I don't agree with certain comments doesn't mean I don't appreciate your comments. I just don't feel a father is more than a word. A father is someone who is there and has raised their children. Not a sperm donor. In and out of my life since 6yrs old isn't a mistake and to come back expecting my help and not even apologizing for his wrongs is unacceptable

[Finchie40]

You owe him nothing , so continue doing what you are doing , your Dad sounds like my Dad and I removed my Dad pretty Much out of my life a long time ago. he already dug his grave with me and there is no going back , he chose not to be a part of my life and he missed out on a lot of things , he is a selfish bastard that should of ever had kids’ period. but the one thing I will give my Dad credit for is that he taught me to be a way better parent to my kids’ because my kids’ and I are very close , so when I do talk to my Dad over the phone , I will thank him for that and of course it hits him like a ton bricks but the truth hurts

[Staximus]

Tell Miss big businesswoman to handle it herself

[Smileygirl2000]

Exactly

[SamIam96]

He sounds like my dad. You owe him nothing.

Since his sister is texting you, text her back: He can make me beneficiary without me talking to him.

Give him a pauper's burial and the remainder of the policy is yours to do as you please.

[Smileygirl2000]

Apparently, that's what she says he's trying to do. He also does this all the time for attention, so I never know when it's actually needed or if he's lying. @samlam96. He did this last year out of the blue saying he thinks he's gonna dies and he's sick blah blah. Then I talked to his neice who said," I just seen him the other day. He seems fine and asked me to order him some junk food. He doesn't eat right at all".

[SamIam96]

It's naive thinking that prospect of getting money is going to make things right between you.

[Smileygirl2000]

It's a never ending cycle of drama with him and lack of accountability

[ohsheeT]

What do you want to do if your choice is you don't want to do anything because he didn't do anything well then the apple doesn't fall far.. far from the tree like they say .. and he's right he has know one right now and that hits hard in a way he's getting to see how you might have felt all these years


Maybe the question is what do you gain or lose by helping him or maybe it would be or what do you change by helping him you could break a cycle we all live again and they say the people in your life now will be in your life then but it's up to you it's who you want to be

I went through the same thing but I don't need to be like him I can be better there's reasons for everything in this world and at the same time we can justify anything and everything in this world to a point

[Smileygirl2000]

It's a never ending cycle and drama from him and his side of the family. I want nothing to do with him and them. I've given him chances since I was 6.

[Smileygirl2000]

I am done and cut him off when I was 24. Enough is enough

[Smileygirl2000]

There's no excuse for his behavior I honestly owe him nothing. He's entitled and me helping him only increases his sense of entitlement and lack of empathy for others

[ohsheeT]

Well the key word was drama if he has drama you will have drama and drama is one thing everyone should run from

[OneViewpoint]

Tell your aunt and your dad to go pound sand up their ass. Tell them you're willing to provide exactly what your dad gave you. Nothing. Not time. Not money. Not emotion.

Side note: Some people have brass balls. The guy abandons his kid and his responsibility as a parent then at end of life he wants his kid to take care of him. Don't do it. It's time for dad to discover the consequences of a lifetime of bad decisions.

[Nikki1989]

That's not a family reaching out in genuine reconciliation. That's a family trying to solve a logistics problem using whatever leverage they can find — which, in this case, is your decency.

[Smileygirl2000]

That's how I feel too and it's ridiculous she keeps calling. Should I say something back to her or just continue to ignore her? @Nikki1989

[CherryLove007]

Dad's that disrespect so much should not have any say in your life or knowledge of how to find you since that is what you want. Where there is a WILL there is a WAY. Adios sperm dropper.

[Smileygirl2000]

@cherrylove007 should I respond to his sister? I'm sick of her messages. I usually just ignore her

[CherryLove007]

If you wish then just give one word... NO if not they don't text her and block her for a few months.

[Smileygirl2000]

I just feel like chewing her out because she keeps leaving messages

[TonyMetal___86]

@cherrylove007 how's your relationship with your father miss cherry cherry lady 😌

[Spencer10]

Yikes this is a tough one. Well i always believe in forgiveness... mostly... but this is tough to forgive. You need to decide if letting him back into your life is worth the drama.

[Smileygirl2000]

He's not worth it and he's blocked

[Spencer10]

I totally understand that choice. I think i would do the same thing.

[DishLady]

Hmm. Tbh, in the same situation I just remained silent and did not return communication.

[Smileygirl2000]

Right hopefully they'd take a hint and disappear. What's happening with your situation? @DishLady

[DishLady]

He passed on. I don't regret keeping the silence in place. He broke trust with me and I could not let a person like that back into my life.

[Smileygirl2000]

Yes it's so funny how they come back when they're sick and old expecting you to café for them when they've done nothing for you

[QuineJessica]

It's better not to communicate with him and ignore him. It will be better for you that way

[Smileygirl2000]

@QuineJessica what about his sister that keeps calling

[QuineJessica]

Yess

[TonyMetal___86]

After all he's still your dad, maybe it's his way to fix things up!
I agree with you that he doesn't deserves to be a dad but no one is perfect 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Smileygirl2000]

@tonymetal__86 a father is a man who is there, raised and provides for his child. Just because you can make a baby doesn't make you a father. A lot of you will settle for anything just to keep someone in your life. I'm not doing that he's worthless

[TonyMetal___86]

Well what you're saying is true, in the end it's your choice, i'm just telling you that no one is perfect 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Smileygirl2000]

Saying someone isn't perfect applies to minor things. Not abandoning your child since they were 6. Lol

[TonyMetal___86]

True! Now i'm reading in your updates that he didn't apologize, that's too much!

[Agape93]

I'd accept for a fee, then just throw him into a woodchipper when he dies. Fuck em

[Smileygirl2000]

😂😂😂

[RavVid]

Not responding would seem to be an answer. It is entirely up to you if you want to have any association.

[Lliam]

I think you did exactly the right thing. Ignore them.
Let his sister be executor.

[glennos89]

I think its kinda important to make a decision on what you wanne do whenever he dies. Its always better to have things arranged upfront then to do it when he is gone. Now you have some time to think and discuss this with your sibblings

[AngryCarl3]

Carry on doing what you're doing, it's fine.

[Danny_dan92]

Carry on with my life

[Smileygirl2000]

You wouldn't respond or help with his life insurance @Danny_dan92? And what about his sister that keeps calling me? Ignore her or tell her off lol? She's ppissing me off

[Danny_dan92]

Do the same was what was given to you.

And nah, you don’t owe her anything

[Smileygirl2000]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

You don't owe him or anyone any explanations for whatever decisions you make

[kitty91996]

That’s crazy how fathers have the reputation of not being good to their children.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

I think you did the right thing

[Just_Ken]

Well you know your dad better.

[AgentG111]

Wow,