What do I do about loud upstairs neighbors?

[Anonymous]

My sister and I just moved into a second-floor apartment last week and so far, it's been an absolute nightmare. The people upstairs have a large dog that runs from one end of the apartment to the other end starting between 7 and 8 in the morning, and then on top of it, the man stomps all day and night and rarely sleeps. Last night I did not sleep and have been up since and it's almost 2 pm! They NEVER went to bed - they played music until literally 6 in the morning whilst also stomping and dropping heavy objects, then about 8 is when the dog started up. Today is Thanksgiving and I canceled on my family because I'm nauseous and now have diarrhea from this stress. I didn't even EAT yesterday. I'm so bummed out now. I don't know what to do - I think they don't want us here. Also, I don't feel comfortable confronting them face to face especially with how high-strung I am now. So, what do I do? PLEASE help me :'(

[AmandaYVR]

That's awful! You're pretty stuck.
You've only got two options:
1. Slip a nice letter under their door and ask them nicely if they wouldn't mind keeping it down. Or be even nicer, and make up a small gift basket or some gift, with that letter or note, and leave it at the doorstep. Say you wanted to introduce yourself. Or knock on their door and hope that a pleasant face-to-face interaction will guilt-trip them into submission.
2. Contact the owner of the building or landlord, and give them a detailed account, in writing, as a formal complaint, of all instances of noise, complete with times, dates, everything. Tell them you can't live like this, and if you have to move, you want your moving expenses back.

[Asker]

I recorded the noise this morning - you can hear the actual wood creaking and a legitimate dog race. It sounds like the whole ceiling is going to collapse on me. I have anxiety so I freak myself out thinking I'm going to witness a dog rain down on me lol Anyway, you don't think it's too soon to call the front office and report it? I don't want to be passive-aggressive and play nice when just the other night after having some beers, I banged on the ceiling : Plus, it's a man and he might just tell me to get over it and shut the door in my face.

[Asker]

I personally think calling the front office but my mother's advice is not to do that because they won't do anything about it since we're supposed to be adults. But wtf? I am physically reacting to this. If I deal with this again, I WILL have a meltdown. I need to get some ambien tonight.

[AmandaYVR]

Well first of all, thumb's up on the Ambien. That stuff works like nothing else. Send me some! I'd kill for it. Diphenhydramine sucks and I always have a hangover the next day if I take it.

Secondly, your anxiety is definitely an issue. The ceiling is not going to fall down and dogs are not going to rain down on you. Put that out of your mind.

Is there one man living there, or more?
Are pets allowed in the building? Or was he grandfathered in?
Maybe the upstairs tenant is a problem for the landlord already, or breaking the terms of his contract. Maybe the landlord would love a legitimate excuse to evict him.

The real question here is how to deal with this situation, what is a reasonable amount of noise to tolerate, and how quickly should you react.
I disagree with your mother. This has nothing to do with being an adult. You are paying to live somewhere and basic conditions are not being met. For all you know, it's the very reason the last tenants moved out.
Read your contract. Is there any mention of them supplying the unit "in good working order, and free of defects" or something-or-other? Did you sign a year lease?

[Imcmullan]

Call the landlord.. that doesn't help then call the cops.. after 10pm they are supposed to respect other tenanta

[GingerGuy]

Oh, how I don't miss apartments lol. Maybe talk to the landlord, get him/her to talk to them. Or worst case, maybe they can move you to another apartment if need be?

[Asker]

Oh no, we just moved in on the 16th and there was only 4 of us to move in all this stuff up a flight of stairs - there's no way. My mother said the office won't do anything about it because we're supposed to be adults, but man, it's unbearable. I already have trouble sleeping and take Trazadone but around 8, I said screw it and took 3 and that couldn't even help me.

[GingerGuy]

They should do something. The people upstairs certainly aren't acting like adults. But it's their job to handle any issues like that or complaints. Any good landlords would anyway lol. I feel for you, I've been there. But chances are good they are also disturbing others, so if you all complain, they'll do something.

[Anonymous]

That’s why I will never have an apartment under someone. I suggest a sleep sound white noise machine, it cancels out a lot of the noise when trying to sleep

[Asker]

It's VERY loud, though, like, it shakes the walls, echos, creaks the wood in the ceiling AND scares the cats. My mom helped us get this place and she picked this floor for some reason. There's train tracks nearby and they are way louder than that. They are still slamming shit as I type this.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe they think you’re apartment is vacant, I would tell them that that you just moved in and that the apartment is now occupied so if they could be aware of how noisy it is underneath and see what they say and do. Otherwise get a super loud stereo system with the speakers towards the ceiling and blast it while out

[Asker]

Oh, they certainly know we are here. I have drowned them out a few times with my very bass-heavy speaker. They also saw my mom, too. I feel like they are trying to test us or something. I even banged on the ceiling one time but I wish I didn't because they might be actually crazy. The way they pace around and slam things seems very manic. Maybe it's coke, not really sure.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah could be on drugs if they never sleep but don’t they work? Surprised they can be active that long

[Asker]

No, I don't think they work. I mean, neither do I at the moment, and they are always moving around all day and night. Every 30 seconds, there's some type of crescendo. They never just sit the fuck down. I can't live like this.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe it’s two different people with different sleeping shifts, seems strange they are always home and up all night, either get sound proofing and white noise machine or find another place that no one is above you

[Anpu23]

Complain to the landlord.

[chriscdi]

buy some soundproof padding? 🤷🏽‍♂️