How do I get my life in check?

[TomGarand]

OK, so... here's the thing. I have two big insecurities of mine, and they've been eating at me for a long time. And I wanna know what I can do to get rid of them.

The first has to do with my career choices. See, I was an artistic person growing up. I loved drawing, writing, and I had dreams of becoming a horror screenwriter. But after losing one of my ex-GF/BFF (It wasn't a direct cause, just happened about a year after), I lost my interest in screenwriting. I picked up the Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Game around this time, and decided I wanted to become a professional YouTuber, whose content focused on Yu-Gi-Oh. Those people are called "Yugitubers."

But about 3 months earlier, I realized the biggest problems of the game, and started losing interest in it, and in being a Yugituber. I'm still not interested in screenwriting or writing, and I can't write as well as I used to. So I don't know what I want to do with myself, career wise. Those were my only two real dreams, and now they're gone.

My second insecurity is me and my love life. I want to be in a relationship, settle down, and have a family some day. The problem, however, comes from the fact that I'm short. I'm 5'6, and as we all know, most women like taller men. And I see why. A lot of women wanna feel small, feminine, and protected. Knowing this has honestly given me a shitty self-image; I don't find myself attractive.

Yes, I could try to work out and date someone shorter than me, but... the thing with me is, I like masculine traits in women more than feminine traits. So to me, a sporty tomboy or "action chick" is leagues hotter than a girly girl. And three masculine traits in women I find especially attractive are athletic/muscular bodies, dominance (In a relationship), and tallness. And if a woman is physically less capable than me than me (I'm not athletic), it's gonna be hard for me to perceive her as dominant over me. So what can I do about my lack of ambition, and my love life?

Updates

+1 y

And I should probably clarify. In terms of the love life thing, a woman being tall/taller than me isn't a requirement. But like a lot of other people, I associate height and muscularity with physical dominance. Really, the most important of the three masculine traits I listed is dominance/being the leader in a relationship.

Updates

+1 y

Finally, when I call a trait "masculine" or "feminine", it's because men/women are more likely to have that trait than the opposite gender. A lot of fit women are really feminine, a lot of empathetic men are really masculine. Really, I'm just describing traits by which gender is more likely to have them, mainly because of gender roles.

[testersite00]

your career: you are not going to be a great writer overnight. its just like any other skill, you have to keep at it and practice! write about everything you can think of, or find prompts on google. you'll eventually become a great writer again.

your love life: plenty of tall, dominate, women date short men. if they are secure enough, that isn't a problem. and there probably some short women that meet all your standards as well. i also suggest expanding your horizons a little bit. don't just go for your type, you may find someone who surprises you.

good luck!

[TomGarand]

I said I don't want to be a writer anymore. I don't know what I want to do, career wise.

But as for my love life, you're saying open myself to feminine women as well? What if they're feminine and submissive?

[testersite00]

oh i thought you said you wanted to get back into writing, my bad. you could take one of those "what should i do with my life" or "what should my career be" quizzes on google, just to give you some ideas at the very least.

i'm saying if someone who's not exactly your type shows interest, give them a shot. they may present themselves as feminine but be a total tomboy once you get to know them. or if they are shorter, that might make them want to be even more dominate with you.

[TomGarand]

So yes, open myself to someone who's feminine and submissive too, not just someone who has masculine traits.

[testersite00]

try it out at least, live and learn right?

[TomGarand]

I'll try. But... I'll be honest. I... don't really see the appeal of feminine traits.

[testersite00]

i get you, but if someone comes along, see how it goes. or maybe go for a woman who can be both feminine and masculine. just keep your options open.

[TomGarand]

Well, I just followed you.

[Anonymous]

It's deeper than the punch line. You will need to dig deep into your soul with professional help. You prefer a man, but because of your image and beliefs, it's safer/easier to get with a woman that's similar. 😉

[TomGarand]

OK, what the hell does that first sentence mean? "It's deeper than the punch line?" I don't get it.

And two, I'm straight.

And three, "because of your images and beliefs, it's better to get with a woman that's safer?" The hell does THAT mean?

[The_Inquisitor]

Your biggest mistake was pursuing art, try to learn something actually good like mechanic stuff. Engineers and welders make a lot of money.

[TomGarand]

I know I could make a lot of money, but I meant in terms of careers I'm interested in. I'm not interested in either of those things.

[TomGarand]

My insecurity regarding my ambition was that I don't know what I really want to do, in terms of a career.

[The_Inquisitor]

then do it dude stop wasting time man go do it make the money, go make your money why are you here asking?

[TomGarand]

Again, my problem is I don't know what I really want to do. This isn't about what I CAN do. Anyone can find a job they can do. But I don't know what I WANT to do.

[The_Inquisitor]

sounds to me like a fuckin excuse, you coming here to say this shit acting like the world is your oyster.

No one here is gonna give you any advice to help you because your just unsure. your anxiety, your not sure if its right? who the fuck in this world is sure? I have never once looked at my self and said "is this the job i want?" get your head our of your ass dude

[TomGarand]

And just what the hell do you suggest I do?

Back then, I knew what my goals were, but I don't now. I came here needing help so I could stir myself in the right direction. That response really was not necessary.

[The_Inquisitor]

I already told you, you just don't want to hear it because it sounds hard or annoying to you. This is the problem with people these days, they don't want to work good/hard jobs because they aren't the flashy ones they wanted as a kid.

Your not lose your blocking your own pathway to a better future by being stubborn.

[TomGarand]

Well, what about the romantic insecurity? What can I do about that?

[The_Inquisitor]

1, women aren't all that obsessed with height millions of girls out there would date a person their height
2, most women who are looking to settle down like you are looking for a man who is on stable footing, financially. they want to feel secure and not like they are going to having to take care of you
3. you could just look for a dominatrix type of girl who is in the dominant side

[TomGarand]

1. I get that.

2. Anything about the whole "masculine traits" thing? I know most women want to be provided for.

3. Not all dominant women are BDSM-loving freaks. Some of the ones I've seen are normal people.

[The_Inquisitor]

being into BDSM doesn't make you a freak, that's why you will not find anyone. Your first opinion of something you don't understand is to insult.

[TomGarand]

I meant "freaks" as in a sexual thing. Some of these women just like taking the lead in relationships, but they don't advertise that by wearing leather and heels. They look, dress, and behave like normal people.

[The_Inquisitor]

Again there you go, saying normal. Your acting like a Dominatrix is a women who walks around in nothing but that stuff. its purely just for sex

[TomGarand]

I didn't mean dominance as a sexual thing. I meant her being dominant as in, her leading the relationship.

[TomGarand]

Oh, wait. I get what you mean. But yeah, no tips regarding masculine traits/tomboyishness in women?

[The_Inquisitor]

there are no tips for that because each one is their own person you can just assume there are ways to attract them

[Unit1]

Do you really want to accustom yourself to a life, where you are not yourself anymore just for the girls?

[TomGarand]

What? No. I'm just asking myself what I can do regarding my love life. Again, being short is unattractive for a lot of women. But I'm not sure what to do about it, given the traits I like in women. Especially her being dominant.

[Unit1]

If there was a single formula working in attracting women, we'd all know.
We can speculate it's (1) looks, (2) confidence and (3) money, that will attract girls. But it certainly isn't warranted even if you got it all. There are deadbeats and good for nothings, who scored with girls.

[TomGarand]

What about career wise? I'm not sure what I want to do with myself anymore.

[Unit1]

Nobody else will do the job for you.
Me? I want money, so I chase after the jobs paying 6 figures annually. Poverty is for the losers.
I would be a pornstar if I really wanted to so much but I need the money more than enjoying the lifestyle of a pornstar.

[TomGarand]

So just pick any job and stick with that? Forget actually having a career I desire?

[Unit1]

This is your choice to make. Nobody is gonna do it for you. Choose money or passion or neither. It likely won't be both for most people anyway.

[TomGarand]

I understand. Also, just followed you.

[Unit1]

Great. Now follow your happiness.

[Anonymous]

How did she die?

[TomGarand]

She didn't die. We fell apart.