Can some words actually be worse than getting punched?

[Anonymous]

It's been a year since breaking up with my ex boyfriend and permanently blocking him. However, his hurtful words sometimes come up in my dreams. He has an evil laughter in my dreams.

His last words were (and he was laughing at the same time): ''You're not ready for commitment. I got all the time in the world''. Then why date me for 5 damn years, misleading me, lying to my family too, making us believe that one day we'll have a family.

Needless to say, I've been seeing a psychologist ever since and also counseling sessions. I'm recovering but not fully yet. My confidence level as a woman has dropped. My parents had to stop my 2 male cousins from coming after him.

I feel what he said is the equivalent to telling a man ''you're a loser (insulting him about his financial status)'' or ''You're so weak, you act like a girl''.

[Shamalien]

Did he ever tell you why he thought you weren’t ready for commitment? If you were faithful and he broke up with you isn’t he the one who’s not ready for commitment?

Sometimes it is the other person’s fault. Maybe u did something to anger him but it he didn’t discuss the specifics with you maturely and try to work it out then he’s a boy not a man

[Asker]

I can't really find anything awful in myself I've been lacking. I've been faithful, not into parties, family-oriented, financially stable myself (even helped him with money he hasn't paid me back either), good cook, good with kids, etc.
It makes me feel as if I've been used this whole time, lied all along. Why the hell he told my family I was the love of his life and misled them too? He lied to my whole family too; made fun of my parents by doing that.

[Shamalien]

Yeah I don't know girl, I’m sitting here on the other side of a breakup where this girl told me she loved me for the first time right after she broke up with me. I don't know if it’s a shit test and she expected me to fight for her but I don’t play those fking games. I’m so confused as well as to how people can change their feelings without explanation

[Asker]

I'm left wondering why he lied the whole time? In the beginning he told me the complete opposite of that statement but then kept bringing up excuses. I should've known by then (when he was full of excuses) that he would never commit.
What he said was basically a total insult. That's basically saying he'll just keep me like that and has no interest in having kids with me; that's a good reason to break-up for good. I've been living a lie during this whole relationship.

[Shamalien]

I mean if he was honest about his intentions from the beginning that would be okay but yeah leading on is wrong

[exitseven]

yes, I dated a girl and I really fell in love with her really fast. Before I knew it I got really carried away one night. It was after we had been dating for about a month. I told her I was falling in love with her. She told me I was crazy.

[Asker]

That was hurtful of her. Sorry to hear that.
I'm still recovering for those 5 years I've wasted, those years I'll never get back.

[exitseven]

I can completely understand that. You will get to the other side of this.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[kylee2437]

Yeah words hurt but I think it’s more of the fact that you just don’t want to let go of the hurt he did to you.

[Asker]

I'm left wondering what on earth I ever did wrong for him not to ever propose. I'm faithful, have helped him with money sometimes, take care of myself, can manage myself financially, cook, good with kids, etc.

[kylee2437]

@asker this is stuff that you should be discussing with your therapist. If you have been you would come to terms that you weren’t the person at fault in this situation.

[Asker]

I'm still in sessions. I haven't fully recovered yet.

[Summeroflove]

Sometimes yes

[Asker]

and now I continue having bad dreams where he's laughing once again

[Summeroflove]

I’m sorry about that. Those people say more about themselves rhen they do you. I’m sure there’s people out there who love you