No matter what your age , you are able to change 3 things about your past life. What will those 3 things be and why?

[molonski2]

You can change 3 things? What will they be?

Updates

1 y

Reading though the answers are so interesting ; that " Sliding doors " moments , I have told my daughters that I certainly would not have married their mother ( Long story , rebound from bad , tricked me , didn't know family history etc ) ; BUT , then I don't have them in the same form right? There lies the tricky parts of a negative , and they are now delightful young women.

[Bethany22]

Although I didn't like what i studied in university, and that it also wasn't useful in getting a job, I don't regret doing it, as at that time I was too insecure to ask for help from professors and my marks were therefore low. I'm glad that I have that experience in order to learn from my mistakes if I ever decide to do my dream bachelor's degree in the future. I also don't regret wasting money in order to live away from parents during university, as I learned some valuable money management lessons during that time. However, I probably should have tried living away from them and managing money in my first year university as opposed to my last year university whereby I had too many other things to deal with, like deciding what to do after graduation. So anyway, here are my top three regrets so far:

1. I should have started working as soon as I turned 16. I remember that summer, whereby I started seeing my classmates working in stores, and feeling really pathetic. I had always been seen as more mature for my age up until that point, whereby things started to drop. And working would have been so valuable in so many ways. It would have increased my confidence that I can do good work; it would have gained experience to put on my resume; and it would have given me more power in relation to my parents.

2. I should have socialized with my classmates more in the younger years. If ever I overheard my classmates talking about something I could relate to, I should have taken the opportunity to join in on the discussion.

3. I should have done better in math class in high school.

[molonski2]

Nice input , thankyou.

[Anemone978]

I would say there are so many things I would want to change... but all these things made me a stronger person. Like you said if I didn't get married I wouldn't have my kids who I love very much... so I think everything happens for a reason. There was one guy I truly loved and I feel like I blew it with him because of my impatience and that still hurts my heart now but if he was honestly my "one" he wouldn't of treated me the way he did. So you just have to take everything that happens in life...

[molonski2]

Thats certainly true , you can't change anything and it does make you what ( and where ) you are today , thats kinda why the question is interesting , because if we did make those changes we have all mentioned , what are the other outcomes that we haven't even thought about? I have a giant list that I'm trying to work to 3 . Obvious ones , like never smoke that first cigarette ( haven't smoked for 30 years , but would never have started ) , I did weed for 2 years in this surf culture I was in at the time , that was a waste of time. But how would all this stuff effect other functions? Just like the movie , I think there is another movie in the idea.
Thanks for contributing.

[JSmuve]

1) Been born healthy. I was born with heart complications that has been the bane of my entire existence. It changed the entire trajectory of my life.

2) I would've put myself out there more in high school. I stopped after my first heartbreak and carried that baggage for years afterwards. I missed out on some experiences that no doubt would've been good for my maturation and mental health.

3) Started playing guitar earlier.

4) Honorable mention: never have gotten facebook when I was a young, impressionable teen. But maybe this wouldn't have been a big deal if I had #2 dealt with.

[JSmuve]

Honorable mention #2: staying away from the sauce. I made some very questionable decisions when liquored up that I'd like a do-over on. Again, I'm presuming this would've been taken care of with #2, but if not, I'd probably replace #3 with this.

[molonski2]

Wow , thats a good list , thankyou for sharing. And Confirms the lifetime issues of some things that some may declare " small " . Thankyou

[molonski2]

Sause , never beginning would be one of mine also.

[Moose304]

Every time I come across such a question my thoughts go back to this scene from one of the Star Trek Movies. Kirk's comments are exactly mine on this issue. I would NOT change a thing!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/WLzJAebfEIg

[molonski2]

Yeah , few people have brought this up , how much affect would removing the 3 have issue with another part of life? Thats the quandarie I guess , BUT Id still love to change 3 and see. :)

[menina]

#1) I would have start working at the age of 18. I only started working when I was 24 and it was already late.

#2) I should have gone to another school when I moved. If I did, I'm pretty sure I would be living in another country by now.

#3) I should have helped an attractive guy I met in college. We could be dating now.

[DizzyDesii]

#1 absolutely agree. I was told to wait until i finished HS and college before starting working but man had i started during the summers in between classes, i’d have all the experience i needed

[molonski2]

@DizzyDesii a big help , part time , casual , summers , valuable experience.

[menina]

@DizzyDesii Me too. If I knew what I know today, it wouldn't take me so much time to get my first job.

[comekitty]

1. I would have completed more hours past my Master's degree

2. I would have chosen a different focus for my Master's

3. I would have actively worked at getting a job in a better area rather than settling for the comfort of familiarity

[molonski2]

Great points --

[jennifer_bloom]

I would avoid the mentors and social circles I chose and I would give people a chance before pushing them away and I would avoid discussing my personal life with people who have not earned my trust.

[molonski2]

That's interesting , Can I ask why you felt let down by the mentors / Social circles?

[jennifer_bloom]

I was very religious when I started university and my trust in religious people caused me to absorb a lot of misinformation about how to live that stunted my growth and derailed my growth for many years, and some of them turned people in my family against me with lies, and over ten years later, my dad still believes these lies.

[molonski2]

Wow , that's incredible , I would have thought Church people and the like wouldn't do that stuff , maybe my fear of all religion is justified. With your father still believing , that would be life changing.

[jennifer_bloom]

One thing the religious people said to me is that you have to work extremely hard, what I later learned from mentors outside the church is that you work smart and not hard. Because hard work is not as effective as correct and strategic work.

[molonski2]

Depends on working hard classification I guess , I started working hard , then learnt how to work smart , I think you have to try things. I always thought of religious people as in the least having good intent.

[jennifer_bloom]

True religious comes with good intention but many non religious people act religious for social or mental reasons. I’ve met people who do it to get attention and I’ve met people who do it to feel better about themselves. Some genuinely care but they take their own selfish ego into it.

[molonski2]

I have a mate from school days , who is an Anglican minister , he actually doesn't really believe in god , he's a really good guy , great intent , he was explaining to me what being a minister is like , and its more just about this church community ( you can imagine in CV 19 times in Victoria Australia - arrgghh ) one day we played golf and had a few drinks , he played me all his messages for the day ( about 20 ) , all virtual crackpots quite honestly , but that was their life , this little parish in Geelong , and I said " Why do you do it? " he said " What else am I going to do now? "

[Gloree]

1. I would study medicine not computer science.

2. I would have visited my king and begged for his connection myself, so I can get the job that needed his consent in the location I wanted. Don't ask me. prestigious jobs are gotten by who you know nowadays. I failed to beg him myself and sent my uncle who didn't do what he was supposed to do. So I lost the chance.

3. I would have not chickened out from the musical competition I had a chance to try for. I have what it takes. I just didn't have the confidence then.

[SnowedIn]

This is a GREAT question.

• Not finishing college.
• How I handled personal finance.
• How I dealt with family members.

[molonski2]

Good summary

[SnowedIn]

Thanks!

[molonski2]

Just reading back , I think I could also add those three..
Personal finances , I would have been part of the markets much earlier.
Think ( for me ) born into upper middle USA would be nice , but thats different thats a wish , not something I could have changed.

[NathanDavis]

- I would have eaten better
- I would have drank more water
- I would have become a homemade Cheetos baker

goals

[DizzyDesii]

Yea im feelin the pain this week from not having drank more water early on

[Ricky1966]

I wouldn't have drank, I wouldn't have dropped out of university and would have made more of an effort to improve my self esteem. these things kept me a dateless Incel virgin until I was 30

[molonski2]

I think not drinking would have been one of my changes too , it sneeks up on you --

[douride2]

Two near death experiences that should have ended my life. The third is one I would sooner not talk about.

[molonski2]

Wow , drastic , thankyou for sharing. Can I ask about the NDEs?

[douride2]

I was run down by a car I didn't see coming it was100% my fault. The next summer still recovering from the car rundown I caught an infectious disease. The doc said the 2 weeks of 105 temperature should have killed me. I lost over 1/3 of my body weight.

[douride2]

Oh darn I put the wrong comment to this question.

[douride2]

Nope disregard that last comment I am totally screwed up here.

[douride2]

@molonski2 Sorry for all the confusion this was the right place after all. .

[molonski2]

Yes , I thought it was , wholly sht , literally mowed down by a car , you really were fortunate to survive , and 105 temp for 2 weeks , wow - makes CV 19 a sniffle , such things for one so young. Well done on being above ground.. functional immune.

[Unit1]

I only need 1.

Be born in a super rich family in the USA.

[molonski2]

That would help.

[DizzyDesii]

—Would remain a virgin til marriage

—Would go about things a different way to ensure I have kids while younger

—Would change my college major

[molonski2]

WOW , point 1 !

[menina]

Why would you change your college major?

[DizzyDesii]

@menina i majored in business and business admin. I dont care for either of those lol. I wanted something more creative like architectural drafting, film or interior design. But the schools near me didn't offer film, drafting involved too much math, and i didn't find out about them having interior design until i was already halfway through

[menina]

I see what you mean. Sometimes I regret my major too.
Based on your posts here, I also imagine you doing something more creative. It's too bad that we can't change it. 😕

[DizzyDesii]

@menina i could always try blogging or doing a podcast but tbh, i lose interest in things and people easily. I could only see myself doing it 2 months a year

[menina]

I understand why. These things need time and patience, I wouldn't be able to do it them for longer either.

[TrillXHippy]

Continuing to play basketball as I got older, practicing on a daily basis to get better and better on every single thing (for hours and hours like every single day) and being more fit and staying that way to play basketbal

[StephenBilliot451]

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[Nikki1989]

I wouldn't change anything, not even the bad stuff. I couldn't be where I am now without going through what I went through in my past. You live and learn.

[molonski2]

And that is always the juggling issue..
Wish I could say that , but I'd be pissed off being kept to 3 .

[AsaKyo]

1. Hanging around a bunch of no good whores when I was a Freshman
2. Dating my ex boyfriend
3. Actually being at peace with being alone

[molonski2]

Boy , those 3 are good advice for all , point 3 particularly , @ peace while alone to reflect , think , is so important.

[AsaKyo]

I really wish I had been okay with being alone, because God would it have saved me from all the emotional bs I deal with now 😅

[molonski2]

The good news is ( and in no way belittling the answer ) , you have youth on your side , and you are smart enough to be addressing these negatives.

[Juneberry91]

Nothing for I won’t be were I am or who I am today.

[Nominal]

Never go to The Lt army.

Run from mommy house earlier.

Never listen to mommy, and try to find a job or make money so i could run away from the country at my 16, until im not tired and tied by society bullshit.

[Confusedblob]

1) Gotten rid of my anxiety issues

2) I wouldn’t have made myself so naive and needy

3) wouldn’t have cared about boys so much

[Anonymous]

* I wouldn't have done as much drugs as I did in HS and college
* I'd have been bolder when asking out women I liked
* I'd have chosen something, whatever it was, and strived to be the best at it, or at least one of the best in the world

[Jay3344]

Never look at porn, don’t drink with my brother that one night in Canada, and do better exercises as a teenager

[noohair]

II do not relive my past. it is a futile exercise that blocks me from living in the moment.