I no longer care about introducing a date or new boyfriend to my family, putting ''in a relationship'' on social medias, serving him an elaborated meal nor play the role of family oriented woman.
This is my reaction towards getting my time wasted TWICE without getting commitment in return, getting scammed with money, years of getting bullied at school, getting called ''Loca'' (just because I have a weird sense of humor) by a supervisor years ago, getting discriminated once by a co-worker (she called me an Indian in a derrogative manner), getting lovebombed by other guys online, guys ghosting me after a couple chats and people taking advantage of my kindness.
I'm become hardened by now and adopting more towards the Westernized mentality. I'm not ever cooking for a boyfriend. He has two feet... he can make his own meals. Screw the ''a man falls in love with his stomach'' and actually would like to know what's it like having sex with another man. I've only had sex with one man in my life, all for nothing. Screw conservative mentality.
I'm hispanic by the way but obviously disappointed. It feels like I did all for nothing, all conservative for nothing, tried to do things the right manner only to get my time wasted and get taken advantage of. Is it normal to change in that case?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
You don't have to have a man. That's one of the freedoms afforded ladies in westernized countries. You have the opportunity to do it alone and work your way up like the men.
However, life is easier with a Man. There is no doubt about that. But if you don't change your attitude and decide to be the kind of wife these men that you want would want to have, then you will be one of the many single older women out there that were passed on.
unfortunately you are competing with young hot stuff that don't have the same relationship damage you seem to have. probably not normal to change but you could change with therapy.
If you reread my post, I did tried to be that woman already and it never got me anywhere in life, it FAILED. Why would be motivated to continue being what failed already?
That woman that would happily cook for him, had some conservative values and was like the hispanic more men would've been proud of is GONE FOREVER.
Besides, I'm getting pregnant through a lab. Then later on, meet another man for just a fling. I'm disappointed at this moment and don't care too much. When I tried doing things the right way, it failed. What's the motivation now?
yeah I agree, it's too bad the guys you picked first didn't work out.
You weren't conservative enough to begin with. Giving husband benefits to a mere boyfriend is a western concept and exactly where you went wrong.
My parents had sex before marriage and my dad still married her. Several people in my family didn't wait till marriage and the guy would still marry them and have kids.
They still had some traditional values. My mother has only been with my father and still is, no one else.
But you you still missed the most basic, foundational part of a conservative relationship. If the foundation of wrong then you're probably going to fail. Every time you have illegitimate sex, the likelihood that your relationships fail increases.
You have to realize that you don't owe them anything and they don't to you too. Relationships fail, everyone has to face that.
Yes relationships failed but it's like nothing is stable nowadays. They don't last and people don't want to put the work to actually commit nor want the responsibilities. The only thing more people nowadays want is the romantic aspect of the relationship, the good times, the fun and sex thing but not the real serious things, accept each other's flaw and actually work things out if things get tough, not just easily walk out the door. I'm tired of dating and dating forever.
In the good times, a relationship would flourish and proceed to marriage, people would grow old together, there were arguments for sure and flaws but they worked things out, they formed a family, they had responsibilities, etc. Nowadays, it won't even make it to an engagement.
You are like in 35-45 bracket , how come you are realising this now? This is the reality behind relationships , finding good partner is always hard. You can't blame men too , most girls when they are young hate good men and consider them boring. They they have epiphany after 35. By your age a lot of guys who are good relationship material get bitter after being single for long or other type of guys who were always bad boys and now you don't want them. Only very few men will be great as by your standards and unfortunately you will have to face a huge competition for them. Good men get cheated all the time , no girl wants to date them when they are young and have no money. That's how the world works. Even you were good girl and only dated good guys while young , relationship can still fail as people can grow apart with age. You can either be bitter about it and be forever alone or accept it that dating gonna suck and you still have to go through it.
I just turned 36 this April. Yes I've accepted dating sucks for both genders. I'm too exhausted with the dating process again, not in the mood at this moment.
Another thing is there are some men out there that actually lied about wanting kids, lied about their goals and even put a false timeframe. It comes to a point you don't even know who is for real anymore that you give up.
Yes finding, genuine good partners for both genders have become so hard and it'll continue to be progressively worse as more years go by.
36 is still young if you give up now after few years , you will find it impossible
I want to have a child now, not in 3 years. I'm opting for a lab child. That means getting pregnant through a lab. I don't want to date at this point. I want to be a mother.
Perhaps try to freeze eggs or embryos, with a live kid you will have a way harder time dating. What were you doing up to 36, maybe one or two relationships failed but 36 is a long time for a girl. Girls get tons of guys after them. If you are pretty you shouldn't have problems attracting men.
Girls hate non-conservative men too, I was once stupid like you. I cook and took care of a girl when she was sick even though she wasn't my girlfriend in hope and love for like a year. She was manipulating me for getting things done and telling me to wait for the relationship to bloom. I was just a student back then, with very little money. I even fed her expensive foods from my portions and she was getting railed by multiple rich and older dudes in secret. But I have learned my lesson. Most women actually want manly traditional guys, not the guys who will cook or take care of them.