How can I stop being so shy and introverted, I can't look at people?

[Anonymous]

I'm so shy and my anxiety is so bad I can't even look at people for a millisecond without thinking they must think I'm a weirdo. Like for example when I'm in a club I never know where to look, or on public transport it's horrible. I look everywhere except people

It's hard because I know people literally stare at me, if there's a guy I like in a club and he's staring at me I can feel it but I can never look back at the guy and I just "pretend he doesn't exist" when what I want to happen is literally getting him to come up to me

How can I fix this

[Cj_Shway]

Sounds like some pretty deep rooted anxiety. you just have to start verbalizing things to people, compliments, pleasantries, and simple questions. "That's a cool shirt" , "have a good day (cashier etc)" " do you know how to get to xyz?" . and over time you should be a little more comfortable talking to people. You can always ask your friends, they would know you better than just about any one else. If you ever feel like you need some advice bartenders are generally great talkers and listeners (assuming you go when it's not too busy). or you can reach out to me, @enjoyndaview. I'm no expert, but I'm always happy to offer advice

[slatyb]

Get some counseling. You aren't a weirdo, just someone with social anxiety. Or maybe finds s support group.

[Anonymous]

You just push yourself to be social. All your life you’ve let the bad thoughts win, so it’s hard to break out of the mindset you’ve been conditioning yourself to accept for so long. It’s all you know. I’m still sort of the same way and I get really guilty when I don’t go for something that in my mind I really wanted to do, especially when I see my friends do it so effortlessly. At the same time though I try to be gentle with myself, accept that I’m just not a super outgoing person but if I really want something I’ve got to step outside my comfort zone. Maybe you should tell yourself these sort of things as well.

[CrimsonAngel09]

I know the feeling. Just take it a little bit at a time.

[gorydetails]

You fix it by changing your behavior. Make a goal for yourself to look at 6 people a day. Do this for a few weeks. Then you'll see that your anxiety is just a fantasy.

[Asker]

Thank you