A nice way to let someone know to call less?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that call so often I dont even get a chance to call back lol.

for ex. ill get a text at 9:22 pm (that i didn't see) then a phone call at 9:30pm (both missed because of sleep. When i woke up i saw the missed contacts then at 6:45am he's calling lol.

Any polite advice?

[provokeesmokee]

Lay down your boundaries and expect her to be upset about it.

Tell her you appreciate her calling and her company, but you have a life and a sleep schedule to respect.

Things to know before this talk:
- when are you open for texts or calls?
- what time is "no calls" time?
- who else can she call (giving her alternatives may make it easier to adhere to)
- what happens if she can't respect your boundaries? (Ignoring her? Blocking her?)

I had to have a talk like this in uni with a friend upset I didn't talk to her on FB (I hardly used FB at all). We ended up ending our friendship because she was just looking for... I don't know, a level of involvement I wasn't up to giving and she couldn't respect that I had a life outside of her.

Some folks can't be reasoned with, but it's courteous to try first.

[Asker]

thank you so much! yea, boundaries is whats needed. this has been going on for two years now and it didn't hit me until about November.

[provokeesmokee]

It can take a while to recognize with some folks, and it sounds like you were just trying to be a good friend!

Things like this happen, and you're in the right in needing your own space and time.

Hopefully she can understand that. Good luck!

[kylee2437]

Ask him if he needed anything first before setting boundaries. Then say “hey 9 I’m usually in bed because I wake up early in the morning. If you are going to call , can you make sure it’s before 9”

[Asker]

thanks! simple and to the point lol. he's been calling so much for 2yrs now but now my life is a little different.

[Fireguy17]

Just tell them straight out but nicely.

Nothing wrong with that.

[LostandFound__x]

I just wouldn’t pick up.