I have autism spectrum disorder, and I am a direct support professional. This story is a hypothetical based on true events I have experienced at one point or another that I struggle with. Obviously, fake names are used to protect identity and avoid violating HIPAA laws.
Let's call my client Bob. Bob is verbal, but he can't quite communicate how he feels or how specific actions have caused him to feel that way. Bob does not understand things like personal space and likes to talk for hours. When Bob invades my personal space, I usually tell him not to pop my bubble. Well he actually touched my leg while I wasn't expecting it and I have some anxiety related to this because an old client of mine was a sex offender and was doing this regularly and repeatedly because he got a sexual thrill out of it.
Anyway, when this kind of thing happens, I flinch and am a bit more blunt and use the words "don't invade my personal space," without even thinking about it. I didn't see it as anything different from normal communication and I just moved on immediately. Bob, however, started following me around acting like he just wanted to talk to me REALLY BAD about his interest that so many people with autism have. In reality he had intense anxiety, but I thought he was just trying to get attention because he talks so much. He was upset about how my words made him feel and he wanted to talk to me about it but didn't know how, so he defaulted to his interest or whatever else he likes to do for fun. I didn't see this until my boss pointed it out and miscommunications like this happened between me and my clients constantly. Its really getting to me and I don't know how I can improve to where I can do my job like a normal person. I am scared I may one day get fired because this job involves a lot of nuances when it comes to social interaction and communication.
Let's call my client Bob. Bob is verbal, but he can't quite communicate how he feels or how specific actions have caused him to feel that way. Bob does not understand things like personal space and likes to talk for hours. When Bob invades my personal space, I usually tell him not to pop my bubble. Well he actually touched my leg while I wasn't expecting it and I have some anxiety related to this because an old client of mine was a sex offender and was doing this regularly and repeatedly because he got a sexual thrill out of it.
Anyway, when this kind of thing happens, I flinch and am a bit more blunt and use the words "don't invade my personal space," without even thinking about it. I didn't see it as anything different from normal communication and I just moved on immediately. Bob, however, started following me around acting like he just wanted to talk to me REALLY BAD about his interest that so many people with autism have. In reality he had intense anxiety, but I thought he was just trying to get attention because he talks so much. He was upset about how my words made him feel and he wanted to talk to me about it but didn't know how, so he defaulted to his interest or whatever else he likes to do for fun. I didn't see this until my boss pointed it out and miscommunications like this happened between me and my clients constantly. Its really getting to me and I don't know how I can improve to where I can do my job like a normal person. I am scared I may one day get fired because this job involves a lot of nuances when it comes to social interaction and communication.
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Yo man, I can totally see how situations like that would be stressful and make the job tougher. Dealing with clients on the spectrum takes a special kind of understanding.
A few tips that might help - try your best to communicate clearly from their perspective. Like when Bob invaded your space, explain calmly how it made you uncomfortable physically rather than just saying "don't do that." Give clear reasons they can relate to.
Also, pay attention to cues beyond just words. Like how Bob was following you - in his mind he may have been trying to understand, not get attention. Read body language too when assessing feelings.
And don't be too hard on yourself - this stuff takes practice. Talk to your boss about ways to improve, like role playing scenarios. Is there a counselor you both can see too for feedback?
Mostly, just show empathy, patience and care. Easier said than done, I know. But your clients just want to be heard and validated in the end like anyone. You got this bro, just keep learning everyday!
I do my best, but it is very hard when I don't understand social situations myself.
Yeah man, I get that. Social stuff is incredibly hard when you don't pick up on cues naturally like others. But it's awesome that you're putting so much effort into learning. A few more things that may help:
- Be open with your clients about your struggles. Something like "I have a hard time reading situations sometimes, so please let me know if I misinterpret something" can help avoid future issues.
- Keep notes on your interactions - not just for documentation, but to review yourself. Note where things seemed to go well or poorly from your perspective. Over time you'll spot patterns.
- Roleplay social scenarios with your supervisor. Act out potential situations and have them give feedback on your responses. Practicing makes picking up cues easier.
- Remember your clients likely struggle with social stuff too. Approach interactions from a place of shared understanding, not judgment.
- Give yourself grace - you're learning just like they are. Mistakes will happen, but as long as you're both trying, that's what matters most.
It's a process, but you clearly want to improve which is awesome. Don't lose sight of how far you've come too. Small successes each day add up before you know it. You've got this!
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