What is wrong with me why can't I do it?

[soulbabe]

So essentially I have a really hard time conveying my emotions and what I'm thinking I have always had issues with this chosing to shut my mouth and be quiet because the words won't come out

So If I have something important I want to say I have to write it on a sheet of paper to convey my feelings

I'm i couldn't even order my own food until I was 19 so I would write it down and have someone read it or would point to something on the menu.

If I'm arguing with someone I'm lagit just full speed writing on a sheet of and handing it over if I don't have that option I just stand there while somone acres at me. Which is truly pathetic but why am I like this

[RoseTheNose47]

girl I'll pray for you I myself have a hard time telling someone something important so I write it on paper or if I texting someone its a little bit easy'er that way to. There have been times where I get into arguements with my mom and I can't really tell her how I feel untill I write it down. I think that the reason why you write things down instead of speaking is because you might be scared to speak scared of what the out come will be.

[Jennz6]

@soulbabe
@rosethenose47
I’ll be praying 🙏 for you too 💕💯

[Grond21]

Stop blaming yourself for this. This is a classic sign of extreme trauma in being vilified and attacked for expressing your feelings while growing up. You are not a bad person, you have just learned bad coping mechanisms to deal with real suffering

[Nerdvana]

How good is your communication with your dad and mom? Do you feel that each one is approachable and open to listening when you have something important to say? Can you express anger, frustration or sadness to them?

[soulbabe]

Lol no don't be ridiculous

[Nerdvana]

I don't think it's ridiculous at all. You asked what's wrong with you? Why can't you express yourself in the moment? I was just trying to help.

[soulbabe]

I mean being able to talk to my parents is ridiculous not you if I voiced anything around my mother she would throw shit and scream at me

[Nerdvana]

I am sorry that would happen. But that's why I ask. Often the things that affect as adults started at home with our parents or siblings. Childhood trauma is a real thing. I think you should be proud of yourself for asking for advice. That's a great first step on the journey to healing. :)

[Staximus]

And your psycho mom is exactly why you're like this. Consult a therapist.

[soulbabe]

@Staximus um no I will not consult a therapist

[Staximus]

It's time to move on with your life and act like a normal person. That's not going to happen by sticking your head up your own ass and living in denial. You need a psychologist.

[Staximus]

So you can communicate like a normal person and not like a mental case

[soulbabe]

@Staximus I don't really care if I need one or not therapy is expensive I can't afford it since I'm trying to leave these toxic as people therapy is a luxury that don't have.

[Staximus]

They have programs for free therapy

[Staximus]

You need to learn how to work through the trauma caused by your psycho mom and unfuck yourself.

[soulbabe]

@Staximus I honestly can function fine for the most part and I promise I'm not going to talk to a psychologist I'll just look at them for an hour

[Staximus]

Do you won't even attempt to help yourself?