OK this took me a long time to understand plus there's lots of people who disagree with me, but what they fail to understand is that NOT ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THIS, but I am telling you a surprising amount of them are.
Here's the short story - girls like being treated like sh*t. Especially hot girls. The way this works is that hot girls get a lot of attention from guys, and so they're used to always being treated nicely and stuff. And so they get bored of this. In comes the douchebag, who ISN'T nice with her, and she is surprised by this. So this "game" starts in which the girl will try making this "douchebag" guy like her, because if she manages to do this it'll sort of "boost" her ego or something. I dunno, don't ask me how this makes sense. Girls are WEIRD, OK? All I know is that I've seen this happen oh-so-many times. Plus if you notice this explains why a lot of girls like the "mysterious" type guys. Guess what - the "mysterious" guys are guys who stick to their own and don't pay much attention to the girl either. Notice any similarities? This is also why they don't seem to like nice guys.
There's also this other theory which is true in some cases and it sort of ties in with the previous one, and it's that girls like "fixing" guys. So they'll see a douchebag or a really sh*tty guy, and they'll try making him into a "nice" guy. That's not really how they see it though. I've heard this theory and what I think happens is that the girl will get with this douchebag guy because "liek ZOMG he's so hot xoxox", and then after a while though he'll want that same guy to start treating her nicely. Except he won't, because he's an ass. But the girl won't leave though because she'll still want to try fixing him or something as part of some project. I DON'T KNOW WHY! ;___; All I know is that there are PLENTY of girls who are unable to leave their boyfriend who abuses them either physical and/or verbally. So yeah, there you go. >__>
Last but not least there's this other theory which I kind of don't like, that says that douchebags are better at "protecting" and "getting things", and this is something that is attractive to girls. So like, imagine out in the while jungle, if you're with a big, mean, scary person who, it kind of gives you the feeling of safety. Except it's dumb because you don't have to be an a**hole to everyone in order to protect your girl or get her things, yet oddly enough a lot of girls don't seem to see that, because I think all this sh*t happens on a subconscious level and they don't even realize. That's why you get a lot of girls saying they don't know what they want in a guy, or they'll say what they want, but then end up with someone that's the complete opposite. That's because it's SUBCONSCIOUS!
Another "nice guys finish last" complaining session? T_T
How can you call another guy a scumbag without knowing him, unless you saw him doing something like beating his girlfriend, which I highly doubt?
If you're so disturbed by the fact that "gorgeous girls are with scumbags", why don't you get up and be the one guy who's not a scumbag who goes out with a gorgeous girl? (See, it's funny cause there are actually loads of decent guys who go out with gorgeous girls, but you'd probably call them scumbags too just because they're with a girl you find hot.)
As for the few girls who do go out with legit scumbags (yes, "few" - most relationships aren't abusive or unhealthy...), well, they got unlucky and went out with them thinking they were decent guys. If they stayed with the guys anyway after they showed their true scumbag sides, it's because they got stuck in there and told themselves the guys were still nice.
I can't believe how many guys here are actually agreeing with you, and being praised for calling women stupid... f***ing ridiculous... if you're putting all women down like that, YOU'RE the scumbag. (Well, not really. That was for emphasis. You're probably a decent guy. Most guys are decent if you get to know them. But this is a scumbag side of you.)
I don't notice this as being something ONLY happening with one gender.
I, sometimes, see *people* with significant others that don't quite deserve them.
It happens.
I will say this though - by just seeing them in public briefly, you can't possibly get an authentic impression of who they are, man OR woman. Sometimes when you see someone acting shi*ty to someone else, it may be a REaction, not an action. By being an outsider, you can easliy misinterpret what's going on. That "gorgeous girl" may have just been a total cry-baby or a controlling bi*ch to HIM, and you're only seeing how he acts towards her AFTER that.
This is a common assumption by men, sadly. Those "gorgeous girls" you see may be handfuls themselves. You can't assume they're not getting what they deserve at that moment just because they're gorgeous, haha!
Again, flip the genders in that scenario, and I still feel the same.
Assumptions are often wrong.
its doubtful that all the couples your speaking off apply to the 'she's an vapid idiot and he's a abusive douchebag' storyline your trying to spin here. if your wondering why you can't get a hot girl maybe you should focus more on yourself and how these girls perceive you. if you come off as a nerd that doesn't like the mainstream stuff like 'swag', then yeah, the 'hott' girls won't talk to you. start dressing like MGK or w/e rapper/whatever is popular where you are and I'm sure the 'hott' girls will talk to you. or just be yourself and you'll meet a girl that shares your interest and you could have an actual conversation with. its pretty much up to you.
There is a problem onboth sides of the relationship. A guys who treats a partner like that has serious issues, most likely he saw this kind of behavior growing up. The ladies who take this kind of crap I still don't understand why.. I have a couple of friends that do and One says that she feels guilty that she can't help them to see the light and be a better person. THe other one says that he will snap out of it. I mean seriously?
We all feel that a person can change and see things different and live a different and productive life but A girl that stays with a scumbag will not see the change...
Opinion
24Opinion
Because they aren’t boring.
Though the a**hole creates an emotional roller coaster of drama with his girlfriend, and she likes the high points.The uncertainty of which it’s going to be does create some excitement in her life.
Here’s what you need to get about women: in order to be sexually turned on,
women need to tune into their emotions instead of their logic. The guys are also persistent. They are sexually aggressive, unlike the nice guys who are sexually passive.
However, it’s not all good for them. The types of women who go for jerks are
mainly those who have low self-esteem, depression and other emotional issues. Such
women often act weird and insecure when it comes to relationships, so they’re really not the
kind of women a well-adjusted man would want to go for in any case. The good news is that
there is a higher level of men yet, whom whom I call the alpha males, who induce positive emotions within women with no real negatives. You can learn more here: link
this is what happens, its pure statistical mathematics:
-Most men(and women) are actually either bad or damaging
-Most men have poor skils.
-Men that are good are scarce
-Men that know how to produce attraction in women are also scarce
-obviously men that are both good and know how to produce attraction. and most of the time those are already taken.
*most of the time women prefer men that knows how to produce attraction and excitment in them over those that are good but unskillfull.
*also those guys that women like, know how to fool them into thinking they are good.
we guys have a similar problem, usually we idolize women that look very good.
Because even though those guys have more flaws, they also have more strengths:
They are assertive, confident, and have no fear approaching women. They go after what they want, whereas many of the nicer guys would be too scared to get themselves into the door. They know how to tease and banter. They offer a challenge that keeps women on their toes. They offer a degree of unpredictability that keeps women guessing.
The good thing is that you can have all of these traits without being a scumbag.
It's not that they are with guys who are "scumbags", but rather they are attracted to guys who they believe to be a "challenge". These type of guy show just the right amount of interest (not too much). These guys normally have a very busy life, and though they may seem to treat the girl bad; really, they are treating her they way she wants to be treated. The difference is, they don't let the girl become the center of their lives until they marry them. The type of guys you speak of don't take a hit if a girl turns them down. They take rejection as a game, because they don't see girls as the "prize", but instead they see themselves as the prize.
Girls say the same thing about guys. "Why are all the good guys off with sh*t girls?"
Maybe we should ask why people are making decisions not in their own best interest and go from there.
But I think it's because sexual/romantic attraction has to be there before emotional attraction can take over, and we'll settle for the few who meet that first roadblock because many people can't imagine much better without feeling like they themselves would become the weakest link between the two. Not so much out of trying to be better than someone else, but just trying not to feel like the expendable one.
I don't know but I can tell you by experience that being a jerk to a girl makes her respect you more.There's this girl whom I have been nice to and she just treats me poorly, calls me names and is a total bitch. One day I got fed up with it and I answered back, she started crying and telling me to leave her alone, so I did. I few days after, we werent talking and she started "crap", I told her I was done arguing with her and leave her alone. So she started "so you are going to ignore me and not deal with me?" She loves my attention and gets jealous when I give it to other girls, so even after making her cry she is giving me all her attention. Why does it work? I don't know, but it does
I was with a guy like this because when we first met he wasn't like that at all. He was the complete opposite. With a little time, things started changing and I thought the changes in him were because of something I was doing wrong, so I started trying harder and giving him the benefit of the doubt because he was such a nice guy when I met him. How could he have suddenly changed? Very easily. A lot of guys like this are good at putting on a show to get the girl. Then their true colors come out. They're very manipulative. If you've never been manipulated, you have no idea how confusing and twisted things can become. Certain guys are just so good at making girls feel like things are their fault. That's why we stay.
It's a matter of not being naive or too trusting. It's not that we're stupid, we just need to open our eyes a little wider.
One, because those guys are attractive, and attractive girls typically care about attractiveness above all other qualities.
Also, often times a guy will act nice in the beginning in order to reel a girl in. But after a while he'll start to change and she'll not want to let him go because she remembers how good he used to be and she thinks she can make him that way again.
Scumbags or jerks generally have more confidence, which means two things:
1) They ask a much higher number of girls, or attempt to get with a much higher number of girls, than what would be considered a "shy nice guy".
2) Confidence is attractive and visible at the time, being an a**hole isn't, until later.
Alternative? Be a confident nice guy. Stereotypes suck, so break them.
They don't start out as scum bags. They pretend to be sweet and caring and loving guys then when she falls for the guy he is pretending to be he starts to take on his true traits and she keeps hoping that he will 'become' the nice guy again. It will never happen but she keeps hoping so she stays. Well until he dumps her or she smartens up and realize that she deserves better and he will never be the guy she wants him to be.
All the others (except the one who is defending these guys) have good reasons, but I have one too that seems to apply to all the girls in Boston. They (the ones in Boston anyway) only care about looks (and money, and many of them age too) and the "shy guys" are not as aesthetically attractive as the abusive guys.
A lot of genuinely kind, good-looking guys don't take initiative and ask them out.
On the other hand, perhaps the girls were told they were fat and ugly when they were little. Maybe their parents tell them they have a personality/mental flaw that dictates it isn't fair for them to be with "mentally healthy" people. Perhaps emotional abuse was modeled in the home. So, their self-esteem is so low, they settle for what they can get.
I hate to be blunt but it's because they're stupid. They don't know what they're getting themselves into. And they probably fall for their cheesy come ons. A lot of girls can be fooled by 'scumbags' pretty easy.
It seems a lot of girls also like that homeless, unemployed-Loser look. The hip hop culture As really contaminated everything. Many women pay for the food, drive the car, hold down a job, while the boyfriend does nothing and mooch off the girl. But I guess as long as he has his hat tilted to side just right and his name-brand hoody that's all that matters.
I also see a lot of beautiful females with BETA-MALES, wimpy half-men who can;t even hammer a nail straight.
Being gorgeous automatically makes her high quality and worthy of getting better? Guys that actually get girls, realize that it takes a lot more than a pretty face. Those girls may have terrible personalities, and thus can only get the scumbags. Whereas higher quality guys are picking the higher quality girls. Just because you think a girl is high quality based on looks alone, doesn't mean other guys do. Some can do better.
i don't know all the reasons , this is pretty common . you do see a lot of girls with such guys when you look around at who there actually dating .
i meet a girl last year who was dating a guy who sold drugs which I didn't know at the time , she told me he had his own business . only did I find out later what exactly that business was .
either she was just plain dumb and had no idea what he was doing or she was in on the whole operation , who knows
Ah, a question with no real answer. Some may have very low self-esteem and expect that it is a normal way to be treated by a guy. Others may have had bad experiences in relationships, or seen it in their families. There is always the possibility that they find these guys "dangerous" and "exciting".
Frankly, it might be that the guys who are self-obsessed jerks with no nerve or shame are the ones that dare ask them out in the first place.
Because scumbag guys are not afraid to ask the girl out & they make the girl feel special.
I wish more nice guys could rise up & ask other nice girls out...
Pending the girl is emotionally healthy:
The girl finds him sexy and fun...and sees the "treating like sh*t" factor as a negative that she will "tolerate".
Because, well...subconsciously or not...she finds being "treated like sh*t" as a fair trade-off for the pros of being sexy and fun.
---
To be fair, there are guys that are the same way with girls; will date a girl that's sexy and fun, and will tolerate being "treated like sh*t".
Hmmm, it depends if your talking about the "good girls love bad boys" sterotype.
I don't know what some girls are thinking, I mean, their boyfriends are jackasses to her friends! Whatever, just glad I got a waterpolo sweetheart with me, not some behind the lockers stoner or something.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions