What does it mean when a girl talks to you about relationships?

[celticsfan94]

This girl and I have known each other for a while but we've only been really talking (a lot) for the past 2 weeks or so, so we're not amazing friends. I've started to like her and I try to drop hints, flirt, whatever, but I try not to be blatant about it since we've only been cool for a short period of time and she is a very shy girl. She's done stuff like grab my arm and put her head on it when we were taking a picture, hugging me after I asked for her number, texting me with a lot of smilies and laughing at everything I say. We've texted a lot (several hours almost every day) and talked on the phone for 2 hours one night, which I know is weird for her because she's told me she takes a while to get comfortable around people. We even hung out after school for a while one day. And yes, we talk a lot whenever I see her in person. She compliments me and says I'm cool, funny, whatever.

But anyway, lately she's been talking about relationships and being lonely and not having a boyfriend and stuff. It's definitely been a topic of conversation between us. I wouldn't say it's venting but it's definitely been open discussion from her about her feelings. What exactly does this mean? It's just weird, I wouldn't expect a girl who has trouble being comfortable and opening up to people to say this stuff to someone she just became cool with. Is she dropping hints or not?

Because consider this and the fact she told me one day that she doesn't want to lead me on and she wants things to be normal between us, and am I in the effing friend zone? When I put it all together, I think it seems like she likes me, UNTIL I get to this part...

It just sucks because I think we'd be really good together, especially if she's saying these type of things about boyfriends. Could use some help here, I can't get this figured out in my head.

So, what's up, and is there a better way I can answer her when she brings this stuff up that might not friend zone me if that is the case?

[Anonymous]

Pretty much in the friend zone (or at least very close to it). It's probably because you didn't make your intention clear enough or took too long to make a move that she started doubting if you're even interested. I suggest you cut the frequency of you being together, less texts and phone calls. Pull away for a little bit, be scarce, she'll miss you for sure. Spend some time with other women too if possible but don't deliberately try to make her jealous. I don't mean totally cutting off contact, you can still talk to her but not as much as usual. Don't be too readily available.

After a while, ask her out on a date.. a real date. Be flirty, tease her, be as charming as you can, touch her a lot (appropriately of course), and should the moment arise just go for the kiss. At this point make your intention clear. If she reciprocates good, if not move on to other women because it's unlikely for her to change her mind (not right away anyway). If she needs time to think give her that space, don't try to talk to her into it.. women respond to emotion, not logic.

[young94]

Alright, that makes sense. Just take a few steps back. How long do you think I should wait to ask her out? Should I ask her to do something next weekend, or is that too soon?

[Opinion Owner]

too soon... wait till she reaaally misses you but definitely not a week..

[young94]

Alright thanks.

[ashleybeans]

Well the thing is... to me you may be in the friend zone because you're not really doing anything. You're dropping hints as well but you're not asking her out. She was flirting with you in my opinion but may she decided to put you in the friend zone because you're not making any moves.

She probably was venting but that DOESNT mean you're in the friend zone. That could mean she really just wants a boyfriend and she's saying it to whomever listens (I do that to) sometimes... or she could be dropping hints but sounds to me like she's venting lol... I could be wrong but honestly I think your not in the friend zone

You should... make more moves and I think you could win her heart don't know I could be wrong but honestly if a girl is hugging you, resting her head on your arm and putting smileys everywhere in texts that's flirting lol... she may be having a bad day hence why she said you should just be friends, or maybe she wants to take things slow or maybe she is playing hard to get could be a NUMBER of things

[celticsfan94]

She did say she was really nervous after we hung out. That was the day she told me she didn't want to lead me on. She might just want to take things slowly.

[ashleybeans]

Yes BUT if you don't make any move and you don't take any action you may lose her.. so this is the opportunity fo ryou to be a gentleman be there for her and ask if she wants to go out on a date with you lol

Ask her like call her up one day and say Hey do you wanna see a movie ometime?" and trust me she will KNOW its a date and she may go for it then you guys will be ":officially" on a date :)

[celticsfan94]

Sounds good! It's a long weekend, maybe this is the perfect opportunity for me.

Also, what exactly am I supposed to say when she's talking about relationships, if she continues to or whatever? Do I respond flirtatiously or do I respond like I'm trying to take an interest in her emotions and make her feel better?

[ashleybeans]

Hmm Well.. go with what you wanna do.. lol see how things go. Don't try to plan things out just let them happen naturally just tell yourself "im gonna be honest, open and see how she responds/ receives it." I would call her htough and ask her out.. that way she's not talking about relationships the convo will be like

You: hey what's up?

her: not much you?

you: do you wanna go out sometime this weekend see a move with me?

her: (however she responds)

[celticsfan94]

That seems like a good plan to me. I will definitely do that! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

It's confusing how she flirts with you but then says that she doesn't want to lead you on... If I talk to a guy that much, and drop hints about being lonely, it's only because I'm really into the guy. Kinda sounds like the friend zone, but if it's only been a short period of time, wait and see if things develop between the two of you.. If nothing does, maybe try talking to her about your feelings.

[Anonymous]

So she sounds a lot like me. If I'm right, she likes you and wants you to make a move. She's laid out the hints that are appropriate for you to catch on to (leaning, taking your arm, etc.). It's up to you now. Maybe she thinks you're sending friend vibes, which is why she sets them up first?

[young94]

So what did she mean by she doesn't want to lead me on then?

[Opinion Owner]

IDK. It's something you have to ask her about. She's definitely sending mixed signals, but perhaps to protect herself from guessing incorrectly about how you feel...

[young94]

Yeah. That could be the case. Would it be appropriate to call her and talk about it? I'm just trying to think of a good way to handle this, it's really been driving me crazy lately.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, calling is fine, or calling to see if she'll meet with you. Not texting.

[young94]

Yeah, I'd never do this over texting. I know better than that haha. I'll call her tomorrow.

[Opinion Owner]

Nice. Good luck!

[celticsfan94]

Thank you! Also, one last question: Am I basically supposed to confess that I like her, or am I supposed to tell her all the signs I think she's been showing me and ask if she likes me? I've never been put in this situation by a girl before so I really don't know.

[Opinion Owner]

Personally, the fact that you're asking sort of shows her that you're potentially interest, so I'd hold off on an overt declaration. Stick to asking her how she feels since you've been getting a mixed sort of vibe from her lately. If she hesitates, tell her that either one would be good in your opinion since she's a person for whom you have high regard. (In other words, don't let her see all your cards at once.)

[young94]

Alright, sounds good, thank you. But let's say I call her and she wants to know how I feel first. Would I outright tell her then? Sorry for the questions, I just want to be prepared ahead of time so I don't do something stupid.

[Opinion Owner]

You're a Celtics fan... don't fumble, don't travel. Wait for the foul shot...

[young94]

Wow, that is some deep advice. Thank you.

[smokahontas]

I believe she likes you! She wants you to make the move silly :)

[young94]

Haha okay. So I shouldn't worry about the leading me on thing and just go for it?

[smokahontas]

you should be worried about that as well but still go for it :) Its better to have "oh wells" than "what ifs" right?

[celticsfan94]

Right. I'm pretty sure she's into me after all. We talked for a while last night and it looks like we're going on a date this weekend. She even said she wanted to cuddle again. Good signs!

[smokahontas]

Aww I'm really glad to hear that! ^_^

[flames542]

i think she likes you but is having trouble saying it go for it first tell her your feelings.

[BelladeVegas]

Is a sign that she probably want something with you... So make a move boy...

[young94]

Even after she said she doesn't want to lead me on? That's the only part that's got me hung up here.

[live4music]

Yes she is dropping hints! If you haven't made a move by now you better hurry up because the longer you wait the more likely she is going to think you don't like her that way and soon she will give up and you will have missed your chance

[Anonymous]

she probably likes you..

[Anonymous]

She trust you and feels comfortable talking to you

[marymac2244]

she trusts you and is dropping hints.