Why won't he let his guard down around me?

[helpha]

We're friends again and I am initiating everything, and he is very dodgy about plans. Also, he usually is childish and so fun and lately he's had his guard up around me and it drives me crazy. The only time the old him came out when I saw him was during a snowball fight, but that was it, before he asnapped back into saying "We should probaby go inside."

What's his deal? Me and him always got along well, we're both extremely childish people, I just don't understand how he could be so hesitant to open up when he knew me for so long. How can I get him to open up and be more himself agian, and let his guard down? And why is he doing this?

[miracleboi123]

I don't know the story either, but when a guy has his guard up its not easy for you to change that. Whether your the reason or not for him being this way, you need to respect it. If you respect him and not want him to change so immediately, you will have a better impression on him. If you broke his heart or whatever, and want him back, don't expect him to come back running to you. If anything he would pull away. Its like that saying, those who are heartless once cared too much. It could be in his case that, you or someone else broke him down. He realized it wasn't worth it so he dug himself a cave and realized it was safer to retreat than put his heart out on the line again. That is exactly what I have been doing, from my own personal experience, she came back a few times to break me down again. Finally I've decided enough was enough, it will take a lot to get me back to that happiness and carelessness. Good luck to you and him, remember respect the person you care or love for; what can you lose?

[helpha]

We dated for six months and HE is the one who hurt me because he stopped caring a week before the breakup and he didn't commit. . But I know that the first time we fell for each other, he fell in love with me really fast, he told me he loved me a month in. So I think he could be trying to be careful, because when I talked to him about being friends he said he wants to do it in public, as if well get into physical stuff.. And he said he didn't wanna 'hang out' all the time because of

[helpha]

"everything that's happened", but when I asked him later on he said he was OK with being friends. so I don't know what he wants.. should I just ask him straightup if he wants to be friends? should I just keep being the only one who initiates plans and then after seeing him for a bit, ask him what he wants? What do I do? it means a lot to me.

[miracleboi123]

From what I am reading, this is a simple case of, I don't know what I want. You need to let him go, so he can miss you, or figure out what he wants. The more you stick around and beg for his company, the more stressing this situation will be. You are a pretty girl and from what I am hearing you sincerely care. Think about it this way, most girls aren't like you. If he goes off and becomes friend or even boyfriends with her, when he realizes what you would do and what you meant for him,

[miracleboi123]

he will then think, okay I made a mistake. By that point, its up to you, if you want him back or not. Friendship is organic, not something that should be forced. At this point, you have done EVERYTHING you could. I am sure you have told yourself you would do everything for him back, but if that's the case, have you tried letting go? Do so, either way you win. Whether its him coming back one day, or you moving on. That is how it goes.

[helpha]

I let him go for two months and I still just cant. I feel like he's too special to let go, and I've decided that I want to fight for him already. My fear is that he is compeletly indifferent, scared to get attached, or he has his mind on another girl.. it has been two months, and if I 'let him go' he could be gone forever. should I try to spend time with him next week and see how it goes? Should I maybe ask him what he's looking for, or if he wants to be friends or not?

[miracleboi123]

Anna, in this case, like with my ex, though I try to hide it. Deep inside, letting go is not an option. If you think he is the one, if you are willing to go through and endure as much hurt ever imaginable, then simply go for it.I feel the same way about my ex, insecure that she might just find someone else, but when you look at it, you know that you could give them much more love and attention then they could ever get from anyone else. So you will do just that okay? accept my f.r and ask me w/e

[martyfellow]

Maybe he's tryig to impress yu with how 'grown up' he is now; he might think you judged him to be too immature before...or he's just afraid of saying or doing the 'wrong' thing while acting 'childish.'

[Anonymous]

Does sound like he's quite ready to be friends yet or that comfortable around you

What happened with you giys

[helpha]

We dated for six months and HE is the one who hurt me because he stopped caring a week before the breakup and he didn't commit. . But I know that the first time we fell for each other, he fell in love with me really fast, he told me he loved me a month in. So I think he could be trying to be careful, because when I talked to him about being friends he said he wants to do it in public, as if well get into physical stuff.. And he said he didn't wanna 'hang out' all the time because of

[helpha]

"everything that's happened", but when I asked him later on he said he was OK with being friends. so I don't know what he wants.. should I just ask him straightup if he wants to be friends? should I just keep being the only one who initiates plans and then after seeing him for a bit, ask him what he wants? What do I do?