What does it mean when a guy is (too) comfortable around you?

[Anonymous]

I went on 2 dates with this guy, although he already kinda knew each other before. Our first date was nice, we talked and laughed for hours. The 2nd one as well, but it was easy to see he was much more comfortable around me than I was with him... It takes me a while to trust people, so I was surprised how easily he could talk about everything, his friends, family, his not so good qualities... But all in a fun way. We kept laughing and I guess blushing at each other. How uncool is that?

I'm used to guys always just showing their nice side on the first dates, so I'm wondering what's different here?

On the other hand, we always got along much better in person than over texting, as I can't tell there when he's joking or not (seems he likes to playfully tease me sometimes).

Last time I was getting upset and was trying to ask if what he said was just a joke or he really thought like that, but then think he took it the wrong way and we ended breaking up?

How can someone really open up to you in a moment and get super mad in another for no special reason (not to me anyway)?

Think he's thinking I wanted to break up and found an excuse for it, but it's not true. I feel like texting him again but not sure I should at this point...

Any insights on this behavior would be great.

[madhatters4]

So it sounds like you have too issues...

First offf you shouldn't break up with anyone due to texting issues. Realize that texting is a roadblock in your relationship and develop more effective ways of communicating.

Appreciate that he is comfortable being around you, telling his personal stuff and being emotionally available. Many people aren't and it certainly shouldn't be a penalty or negative that he is. Also let him know that you are sometimes a little slower to open up and just let him know that it doesn't mean thtat you don't like him or trust him but you just need more time to be as comfortable as he is.

If you like him don't let the fact that you slower to take down your guard than him be the reason to not be with him. If there are other issues aside from your emotional walls (which by the way are OK to have, and some texting misscomunications, then maybe re-evaluate the relationship. But from what I hear it sounds like you just feel a little insecure that he is so emotionally open and you may not be ready to be that open...I think that is natural and something that will get easier as your relationship progresses

[Asker]

Yeah, guess I've issues...

But I didn't break up with him, think he broke up with me? I'm not even sure if we broke up, just stopped talking.

I didn't mean to start a fight, was just trying to talk to him and was also surprised how both of us got really mad with just a few words... it feels like he just shut me out easily and that's it, when before he was seemingly open and communicative...

But you made a lot of sense in your answer. Thank you.

[madhatters4]

I don't think you've got issues at all. Some people are simply more comfortable talking about their personal stuff than others. I don't think you are wrong not too, I think you are just more guarded which is fine. Also his ability to be so emotionally available is fine. Both traits can have their faults but that doesn't seem to be the case here

[Asker]

Thank you for your kind and guess wise words. =)

I've tried contacting him for us to discuss things as in a 'it's no one's fault basis'', but not sure he will reply. Either way guess it's a lesson learned.

[Premonition]

some people like what's best, in order for love you'll need compromise an adapting.

[Asker]

Lol, I only got half of that? o__O

[Premonition]

most people do what feel natural an happy. compromising an adapting is steps in a great future of not being selfish.