When do guys decide if the girl is out of their league? first sight?

Question

and is it based on looks?personality? education? other factors?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

When a guy thinks a girl is "out of his league", he's talking about one (or more) of three areas:

- Looks.

- Money.

- Sophistication.

If a girl is movie-star/super-model beautiful, many guys assume (often correctly) that this girl can attract really good-looking, or really rich/successful/famous guys, and that he'd have no chance against those guys. He figures that in a choice between himself and (Brad Pitt/Ryan Gosling/Justin Bieber/whoever), he's going to lose every time.

If the girl obviously comes from a wealthy family, who has a "summer house" and expensive cars, and so on, and he's not wealthy, then he's going to assume that he'd never be able to afford to date a girl like that. He's not going to be able to jet off to Europe for the weekend or go to Aspen for a ski vacation or shop for clothes in NYC boutiques. When a girl wears nothing but Tiffany jewelry, he'd feel like an ass shopping at Jarred.

And if the girl is obviously highly educated (and flaunts it) or dresses and acts in a very sophisticated way (going to art gallery openings and high-end political functions), and the guy never went to college, or only has a Bachelor's degree, he may feel like he'd never be able to run in her circles of friends, and he won't want to be seen as the "slow idiot" that she brought along for everyone to laugh at.

Most people are most comfortable dating people who are from similar socioeconomic backgrounds as themselves, but that's especially true for men, since men's identities are so closely tied to their job/career. The first question anyone asks a man when they meet them is "so what do YOU do?" If their family makes millions, and his job is something like, say, car stereo installer at Best Buy, he's probably not going to feel very comfortable or proud of himself.

I'm not saying that any of this is "right", but it's how it IS, so I'm just answering your questions.

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I honestly don't go by "leagues" but by body language. There's ways to tell about a women if she's wanting to be approached or not. If she has a "nose in the air" attitude I don't want to deal with her. Most guys will base it on looks.

Oh and most girls are afraid of rejection. They just say what things like what you said in your update as an excuse. They'll use any excuse, "chivalry" "old fashioned" "I want to know he likes me" etc. You admit your insecure about it by saying that you feel like you're not worth it if the guy don't ask you out. So if a girl don't ask me out I must "not be worth it" either. Guys don't have to do "all the work" because that means they'll be stuck doing "all the work" in the relationship too and relationships are supposed to be a partnership. They're not supposed to be one guy idolizing a girl while she sits there and waits for everything to "come to her." If girls are attracted to personalities, they'd be making steps towards that personality, not waiting for that personality to come to her.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

When do guys decide if the girl is out of their league?

In my opinion guys rarely decide a gal is out of their league as they seem quite eager to rank gals into leagues but when it comes to pursuing gals they're no such thing as leagues likely because they generally pursue gals who are more than them.

and is it based on looks?personality? education? other factors?

On the rare time they do use 'out of their league' it's most likely based on looks since that's how guys primarily rank gals into leagues.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Slight obviously means looks,come on now. How is he gona know your level of education,looks can be deceiving!

lauramor · Accepted Answer

my guy friends think that a girl is out of their league if she's hotter or smarter.

BatDoc · Answer

I don't think any girl is out of my league. However, I do judge if a woman is what I call an "expensive girlfriend."

Girls are attracted to a number of things, looks being the first. No matter what a girl says about personalities, she initially judges a guy on his looks. It's not a fault but rather a truth in life. A good personality is what keeps a girl, but the looks initially lure her in and are the first judgment she makes.

Now back to expensive girlfriends. League is just a BS comparison for people who aren't confident to talk to very pretty women. However, a lot of pretty women are very high maintenance and that means they are expensive to date. They wear expensive clothes, want to go to expensive places, do expensive things, and drink expensive booze. And I could date women who are very attractive, but I'm not rich. Which is usually the end of that train ride.

I can usually tell within the first few minutes of talking to a girl that she is the expensive kind. I would rather have a down to earth girl who isn't quite as attractive but enjoys the simple things in life than a really hot girlfriend who costs me my whole paycheck each month.

And don't get me wrong, there are down to earth girls who are expensive too. All that junk at Target ain't cheap.

Anonymous · Answer

Looks are normally the only thing most of us worry about when it comes to a girl being out of our league. There are other things that may make us think that the woman thinks she is out of our league, but that doesn't mean that we believe she is out of out league. Traits women have that outshine the man, can cause the man to doubt the woman will be interested, and make him insecure, but it normally won't make him think she is out of his league. For example girls like taller guys, so we might not bother asking a tall girl out, but that doesn't mean that we think she is too good for us. We just try to limit our number of rejections because it hurts to be rejected.

MaxNoodles · Answer

In response to the update: I get approached all the time. At the same time, I often go unapproached by woman I believe could be sexy if they took a little more control of their life and pursued what they want.

Often, I get approached because of my looks, so don't fool yourself too much with this personalities stuff. It tends to be an excuse and a limiting factor. I do the same thing thinking I'll look for a nice girl who won't do x or why behind my back.

I don't believe any girl is out of my league, but I often find myself thinking I am in a different league if she seems immature or not interested in more exciting things than sitting in the house all day and watching movies. Often the only limiting factor is circumstance.

humanbeing · Answer

if she is full of attitude irrespective of the looks. I get intimidated by her attitude. I normally don't approach a girl with these characteristics. may be I don't like this nature or I m scared to approach them. looks doesn't necessarily play any role in this. if a girl is very gud looking and pretty but with a girlish and shy soft nature, I don't hesitate to approach her.

qstoffe · Answer

I wouldn't say that looks alone are not the only thing that dictates if a girl is out of my league or not. But if she looks better, is physically stonger, smarter and more charismatic, from my perspective, then I would feel she is out of my league.

It's simply based on factors that I subjectively value the most. For example I don't value education "by going to school" all that much. For example a girl can have studied all her life, have all the titles but I might still value the knowledge of someone that has "self educated" a lot more.

If a girl has a lot of those qualities that I value I will be under the impression that she's out of my league. That won't stop me from falling for her though. It might not even stop me from pursuing her but my confidence would be low and I would doubt myself as being adequate for her.

WoIIie · Answer

If money and status means a lot to her, then I need a lot of it. If she makes more than me, then I probably won't be in her league since I assume girls always want a guy to provide even though they make plenty of dough.

If money and status don't mean as much to her, then I need a huge penis. If she has a huge vagina then I probably won't be in her league.

kairon156 · Answer

lately I haven't been thinking of any girls as out of my league but that might be because I haven't been looking for a Girlfriend in the past few years so it doesn't cross my mind.

for me I guess it would be how she acts tward other people around her. if she's snobby or overbearing than she's out of my league because I'm not into that type of girl. so in that case it would be personality.

jmowen · Answer

I'll know if they're out of my league just by the dress and act. Growing up in middle-class but going to a high/wealthy-class school most of my life, it was a big difference. Most of the kids were conceited and self-centered because everyone came from money and I didn't. No way I bothered with girls that acted like that. Cold hearted females that would rather go out with someone who has money, drives a BMW at 16 years old and pays for everything.

bDizzie · Answer

"Out of your league" is nothing but a limiting belief.

Prof_Don · Answer

"Leagues" from the guy's perspective are 90% of the time based on looks at first glance...the thought through this guy's mind is "if she looks that good, she can attract many dudes better looking and more successful than me so I have no chance to get her".

Anonymous · Answer

I assume most of them are or that they are slutty and don't want to be with them anyway.

I find your update comical. Girls that say such things should never complain about not being in a relationship. It's the whole trying to change the world to make yourself equal but not giving up the things that benefit you. Typical 21st century female attitude.

blackeagle007 · Answer

That last sentence in your update..What does that have to do with leagues?  Speaking as a guy, we are just very very sensitive to a womans apperance. At least in my experinece, if I see a woman whom I think is "hot"  I'd be very timid cause I'm average looking and would think I'm beneath her. Its common

LIBERACEjr · Answer

If she is regularly on her phone I assume she is popular and thus has many options as far as men and I am discouraged to approach her and doubt that I have a chance with her but looks alone don't separate people into leagues.

melencoly · Answer

It's not that they are out of my league it's more that I don't like stuck up bitches.  For me it's more like do I want to deal with drama and crap like that?  BTW the answer is no I don't.

ladsin · Answer

eh... I've heard of this but never really experienced it. I've never thought to myself oh that girl is out of my league maybe that's just me be simple minded or laid back, but irdc

Futoxicmasculinity · Answer

women can lead a relationship but I don't think they should... 😒 one of the insecure alpha wannabes who think the only women who aren't out of their league are the ones that need rescuing because they understand vulnerability?

Anonymous · Answer

Usually just looks since that's all boys care about

dommage · Answer

I think its based on looks and personality.

Anonymous · Answer

Looks.

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