Why do weak and pathetic men project their own insecurities onto women?

Question

Can anybody seriously answer this question? I notice it a lot on this website and I'm sick of sugarcoating it and being nice about it. A real man wouldn't be a coward and would be brave enough to face his own shortcomings. Why do men think they're being nice or being a nice guy when they do things like this?

As always I'm looking forward to an answer. Thank you in advance GaG.

Belgie · Accepted Answer

Wallowing in self-pity is easy. It's even easier if you can get a bunch of like minded saps to sympathise with you and throw you a pity party.

That is what many of the losers on GAG seem to want/need on a regular basis.

It's a lot harder to acknowledge that a)the problem may lie with you b) it's within your power to change it c) the reason you haven't fixed it may be something you are not ready to face yet.

I've seen more than one guy on here who cried about never getting a girl, to be followed by declarations of how maybe he should start dating guys because girls are mean... and then when the world didn't collapse in burning hellfire at the suggestion of him dating a guy, he eventually admitted he might possibly be gay. This was a guy who was always gay, and in deep deep denial about it. He had to tip toe his way towards his admission to himself and the way he did that was by blaming the women. They were too mean, too disinterested, (too fat, too thin, whatever Goldilocks) ultimately they were too female. He just couldn't admit that.

Not every loser is gay and in denial of course.

The so-called Nice Guys are the worse. Often crippled by social anxiety and fear, they live lives of quiet timidity and shyness, avoiding parties, laughs and good times as if they were biohazards. And then they expect a gorgeous girl to want to share that miserable life with them, all because he defines "nice" as "I give her compliments and don't punch her in the face"

The don't define nice by what they are - they define it by what they are not. I don't abuse girls. I don't treat them badly. I don't cheat on them... therefore I'm nice.

They literally have so little going for them that they can only define themselves by what they aren't.

TurbulentDan12 · Accepted Answer

Because it's easier on their mind to blame someone else and play the victim. This applies in many other circumstances as well. Nobody ever honestly want's to admit that they are wrong or that they have problems. You're right, the same people often live in the self pity world but it makes sense as it goes together. They want that attention of people saying that it's not them that has the problem. Nobody goes around talking themselves down looking to be confirmed.

I'll admit that I was once there especially early high school but I feel things have changed a lot since then

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

- It is much easier and more emotionally satisfying to paint yourself as a victim rather than the problem. I've noticed that this has become a popular fad, everyone seems to think they have the market cornered on human suffering these days. Perspective is a good medicine for that. Without any effort, it's easy to find someone who's had a worse time of things.

- It's also much easier to blame others for one's own shortcomings. "It's not me, it's them." I think everyone does this, to some extent.

- And lastly, entitlement. Some people actually think they're owed love, owed sex, owed a relationship. They think they should just be able to have all of that without actually working for it and compromising.

My thoughts - People don't owe you love and sex and a relationship simply because you're a decent human being, it just doesn't work that way. People have to work at relationships, they have to compromise and think of what's good for BOTH involved instead of just looking out for themselves all the time.

pickledxtofu · Accepted Answer

It's easier to blame someone else than to reflect and take personal responsibility for ones weaknesses and faults.

I also want to add, in the nice guy situation:

Do funny people have to tell people they're funny?

Do smart people have to tell people they're smart?

Do well-cultured people have to tell people they're well cultured?

So why do nice guys feel the need to tell people they're "nice?"

If you have to tell people, then you're a fake and phony and there lies your problem

washize · Accepted Answer

Its easier to blame your shortcomings on other people. They misdirect their failure into hatred for the opposite gender.

Simply spoiled people who believe that they are entitled to the bodies and minds of other living things, simply because they said so.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't see how that's 'projecting', but anyway...

Well, look, a lot of men feel they've been tricked. They feel like they've been tricked by the media, by the academia, by their own parents, and by girls. They feel that they have been tricked into believing that being nice, friendly, gender-neutral and politically correct will get them girls. Can you really say that society sends the message to boys growing up that it's GOOD to be masculine? I feel like I was given the opposite message. It was only through my own experience that I found out that it's actually masculinity that women find attractive. Luckily, I was able to de-program myself. But then I've always been a very determined person.

I agree with you that many men are weak and pathetic. But everything has a cause. These men didn't raise themselves.

At some point, we're going to have to decide whether we want a gendered society or a genderless society. Actually, I think we've already made that choice. In fact, a girl on GAG posted a New York Times article recently about feminist Sweden. It's a left-wing newspaper, and the article was of course a mostly praising one written by a woman, and yet it admitted what many feminists in the Anglo world refuse to admit, namely that feminism has some bad effects: "In this new world of the sexes, some women complain that Swedish men are too politically correct even to flirt in a bar." link That sentence should send chils down the spines of women who expect men to be the ones making the first move (in other words, almost all heterosexual women, even the so-called 'feminists'). Because, as all girls will admit if they're being honest, this politically correct nightmare is already the case in the English-speaking world.

ladsin · Answer

I think most all people like to wallow in self pity man or not, people just have trouble overcoming life's obstacles. I don't know why you're saying their insecurities onto women, I can't really think of any... like maybe if theyre afraid the girl will cheat because he has no game or something

AndrewHalesfan · Answer

Low self esteem can be a real problem for all of us , not just for men. I don't understand why you think guys think they are being nice when they make themselves look pitiful.I do not think anyone wants to be in a position like that. Getting a hand from other people is OK. Getting a rid of predicament sometimes takes other people's help on this.It is justified to ask for help , ask for a companion who might share the same feelings. :(

Anonymous · Answer

i agree with you in the sense that men like girls to do eerything for them, they think girls don't like unattractive or average men but most of them don't even care about ugly girls and they also complain about making the first move, it is as if they want the girl they like to suddenly like them and do everything to get with him

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

Entitlement I want something without having to make an effort I have no possible flaws, if someone doesn't want me, something is wrong with them.

palek · Answer

It somehow empowers me and I fell less weak and pathetic. But the relief is quite temporal and thus requires a great deal of repetition.

Anonymous · Answer

A lot of women do it, too.  But women tend to become more sad and depressed and angry at themselves for failing and men tend to lash out at others with rage and hatred.

Anonymous · Answer

I find it silly how so many guys blame feminism for all their problems. Feminism has nothing to do with:

Why you can't get laid

Why you can't get a date

Why girls like bad boys

Whatever else you bitch about

So yeah I totally agree with you QA

Anonymous · Answer

aw thanks! I hate when they are slefrightous and stubborn. they think they are great but those things are what make them prject their insecurities rather than see they need to change.

Anonymous · Answer

Ikr. Very rarely a woman will do that. She will usually work on herself. A dude will pity himself and expect people to join his pathetic pity party.

Anonymous · Answer

yea you'll find a lot of guys like this online, I hope they really don't think this way in real life... they must be miserable people. There is more to life than getting a girl. ugh..

Anonymous · Answer

so they odnt have to fele like they need to do something about it,

Why do weak and pathetic men project their own insecurities onto women?

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