What would you do, if you were led on?

[detwiler]

So, I am still bitter after getting rejected by this girl who I have known for a long time. She was acting flirtatious around me and even hinted at me that she liked me. I feel completely led on and even though I suspected she was just interested in me and she lost interest, I took a longer look at what she said, and said until then and it feels like she was just playing me. I can't help but feel angry when ever I think of her and I want to know if being led on justifies quitting being her friend. I'm so pissed off, I am 19 years old and I am sure that this is the second time I have been lead on and completely crushed and no girl was ever serious about dating me. I am just going to shoot myself the next time this happens. I was so in love this last time I wanted to commit suicide. Has anybody who is reading this done this? If you did do you have any idea how screwed up that is?

[Anonymous]

I was just led on by someone that I so completely into. I'm devastated and hurt to my heart.

He seriously pursued me while knowing that I had strong feelings against premarital sex. After months of talking and feelings developing and getting deeper for me, he told me that he couldn't be in a relationship where we couldn't be intimate.

I was in shock and all I wanted to do was cry and cry. He was so sweet and kind to me for months, always there with concern and now he's telling me how I find someone else who feels the same as I do. I could have punched him for that.

It's like the worse feeling because it start to have a vision of what life could be like with them, the things you can do, and hopefully a love you can share. Then in a split second it all comes crashing down and you can't help but get caught under some of the debris for some time. This just happened to be so right now I'm really sad and hurt, I know that things will get better but I want that time to be now. I personally do not want to go through this again because this guy really ripped my heart out but I'll try again because maybe the next guy could be the one.

So the same applies to you, it sucks I know but you have to try again. If the next girl rejects you too then it's her lose and pick yourself up and move forward. I'm doing the same, I'm moving forward even though it's slow and at a snail like pace but I'm going. One thing that I try to think that makes me feel better it that one day that person will see you and they'll think 'Wow, I had a chance with them and I blew it. That was a HUGE mistake.' Some may never feel that way but I like to think they do.

Keep your head up!

[Meedo]

Heartfelt words.. I am sorry for your experience... be cautious .. but never be bitter... and good luck to you .

[detwiler]

I wish when I first felt this, I had your determination. Please, feel free to personal message me if you want someone to talk to. I came to the conclusion that I should not quit being her friend. I don't know, maybe there is something wrong with me but I once betrayed someone out of emotion and I was extremely upset when I couldn't get my friend back. I feel like I am getting what I deserve and I hope to reverse everything. Well, I hope the best for you.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm actually not bitter at all, I'm just really hurt and I miss him A LOT. I respect how he feels but he could have had something earlier before I completely fell for him.

I can't say that I don't feel like it might happen again but if I'm serious about finding the one then I cannot give up. You shouldn't either. If being her friend works for you by all mean be her friend. Just be careful not to get caught up in emotions when you're around her. We can definitely keep in touch I'll send you a PM.

[detwiler]

If time effects you like like it did me then you may end up feeling bitter later. At least that's how I felt about a month later, and I still feel bitter. I hope your different though and it doesn't get to you. And thanks, I won't give up ether. Glad to talk to you later.

[brownchic]

oh man I guess I am in the same boat it hurt me tremendously he freaking led me on too and never reciprocated. I kept hinting and he used to just ignore so I thought maybe I should hang a little bit more but then later on when I stopped talking to him he never made an effort to actually message me or ask me how I am doing...watever if they don't have time for you ...u just move on! and also a flirty girl is very dangerous especially when you are thinking about dating her make sure you know she doesn't do it with billion other guys!

[detwiler]

I'm sorry to hear that, I think maybe men like him look back later when they are facing real heart pains and they try to see if they have another shot at starting a relationship with you. At least, this is how I felt after I did not feel interested in one girl that really show interest (I did not lead her on), and it was a while later that I got interested in her and wish I gave her a chance, she moved on. Do you think girls go through the same thing? About wanting to give the other a shot.

[brownchic]

well if he cannot acknowledge in the past what will he do in the future you know? probably not. find some one else.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me too! He actively pursued me and made me fall for him big time, then totally backed off the second I showed any interest in him.

I cried for days because I totally felt done by and hurt, I thought he was different to all the other guys out there, but he was exactly the same jerky type. He knew how much I liked him so I'm still angry that he led me on so much.

I don't know what to do ATM all I can say its going to take a lot of time to move for me.

[detwiler]

Did you not feel like eating or sleeping the first few days? I feel awful that you went through this. Right now I am trying not to cry. I am sorry that this happened to you. However I want you to know though that there are people that I would like to believe that are like me and that don't want to hurt anyone. Not every guy is that trash that leads on people. I would like to talk to you if you ever want to talk to someone to get your mind off it. Hope things get better for you.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you, my friends have been amazing and told me to cut ties with him which I have but he's still on my phone, and social network site and I can't delete him because I don't want him to think he's hurt me so much. He doesn't and never did care about me, everything out of his mouth was bullsh*t. The thing that hurt the most was he got incredibly close to me found out pretty important things then did what he did, that's low. I guess truth comes out in the end. Don't ever allow someone to make you

[Opinion Owner]

so bad that you want to end your life. That's awful to hear.

[detwiler]

I know, that was stupid to think that at first. I am not going to let her be the reason I end my life. I really want to end it if I get lead on a third time, because I can take a hint that this world just hates me at that point and that there is no reason to try anymore. But I have high hopes, my life is bipolar, many days up until then I got almost everything I wanted no matter how big or small and I was convinced that I was spoiled and that I would get her, but eh I learn.

[cheesesteak7]

I suppose back when I was 20 I felt pretty crushed when I asked a classmate out who was flirting with me all semester, just to be rejected. Don't think I considered suicide, but I was emotionally shattered.

Then I stopped being a whiny bitch, tried to learn from the experience, and moved on.

And no, it's not screwed up. It's a 2-way street, so you're just as much at fault for the situation. For all they know, they weren't leading you on. They could've just been genuinely nice and flirty. You could've just misinterpreted their words or actions. Or, they could just like to flirt, not thinking flirting could lead to suicide. I'm not sure too many sane people think that - "man, I better not flirt with this person, they may kill themself."

[detwiler]

I had a crush on her before she started acting that way. I let myself fall completely in love when I started noticing her flirting with me. It was stupid of me I know. I really thought I was a good judge of character but she ended up having no trouble rejecting, practically insulting me. She also went through steps to defend herself as if I was a stalker afterward, which is stupid because I don't even want to see her anymore. you probably can't see but his betrayal feels very deep for me.

[cheesesteak7]

nah, believe me, I'm very sensitive to any small thing that can be interpreted as betrayal. Like I said, I've been in the same boat as you. But you seem to already be learning from it. Which is the most important thing. Learn from it, see how you can adjust in case it happens again, etc. Just keep an open mind and don't think all girls/women are like the ones that led you on.

[TheKraken]

Listen here bro, I'm 23 years old. I'm being led on by a married girl. Who I stupidly fell for. You'll eventually get over her. It's bound to happen to us through out life. But don't give up, I've been down that road. It doesn't get you anywhere but way behind where you first started. If she's just leading you on, she's not worth your time. If girls don't seem like they're interested in you, they're not worth your time. They don't know you. You've gotta put yourself out there and expect rejection and deception from some people, but there's those few out there that are genuine. Just don't be an idiot like I was and give them up when you find them.

[animalwithin]

Some sage words here man, very well said.

[Zapjap]

Yes, I would stop being her friend and I would tell other people how much of a jerk she has been. Keep them from falling into her trap and also keep them from giving that selfish b*tch attention. Don't commit suicide though bro. I got rejected so many times before I ever got a girl friend. there is hope. Best thing to do is spend time on self improvement instead of thinking about her and take your anger out by working out.

P.s. I got led on by 4 girls and I'm ok

[Anonymous]

She rejected you...which means she obviously doesn't want a relationship..sooo..move on? Is it really that hard to figure out? I don't mean to sound like an a**hole but its true. I was rejected by my first love. I knew he didn't want to be with me so I eventually moved on because I knew there was no changing his mind. Never once did I think about ending my life over it. It was hard to get over him but I did it. I suggest you do the same.

[detwiler]

I know she doesn't want that kind of relationship, do you mean she doesn't want any relationship at all? I can't help but feel you didn't understand what I was saying.

[Opinion Owner]

i got the impression that you wanted a serious relationship from her.. but she didn't want a serious relationship with you, which is why I said move on. if she just wanted to remain friends but you want to be more than friends, you still need to move on.

[Cromartie]

This:

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=dXGa__ECvnM

then I just carry on.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Shit happens. That's why you don't invest a bunch of time and money into a girl before you ask her out.

[kangaru]

I had been led on too, hurt and angry at that time, but it make me wiser and more cautious now

[Deviouscourage]

You live and you learn. Best way I took it, just don't keep striving for it.

[Anonymous]

Some girls just love the attention. Believe me, you dodged a bullet there. I pity the guy who finally dates her, she'll give him hell...