Dealing with someone else's kids

[Marinepilot]

This seems to be a very hot topic. My take on this is rather well known. I think that it's all but impossible for a man to accept another man's kids. Women seem to have an easier time of it. Although not always. I have been a stepfather and it's been the emptiest experience I've ever had. So guys, if you want to be #2, deal with the sometimes psychotic ex. And ex in laws. Marry a girl with kids by some other man. I did once and I'd beat my meat until hell freezes over before I'd do it again.

[Ozanne]

I have lots of female friends and many of them would agree that it's no picnic getting involved with guys who have kids with other women.

When I got involved with a guy who had a very young son who was showing really bad signs of despondency, acting out, becoming violent, mouthy, you name it -- the guy would favour his kid, blaming his ex for his poor behaviour. This isn't the only time I've heard this. Both men and women who have kids are almost always blind to the harm their child is doing to others.

So yeah, if you want unpredictable kids going through your wallet, stealing from you, making up lies to get away with shit because mom/dad will always take their side, then be expected to be there as the biological parent but not get any credit a biological parent does, or get in shit if you step away from the two parents and let them figure it out - because really you can't do anything right - then by all means, enjoy step-parenting. Know what you're in for, is what I'm saying.

Both my husband and I had previous relationships with people with kids and they were nightmares. In fact, I have YET to hear one story where things have gone swimmingly in a blended family. A person is better off to meet someone where the kids are out of the house entirely, either living far away and with the other parent, or they've grown up and are living on their own.

[Marinepilot]

Ozanne you're so right. I fucked up and married a woman with kids. Two boys. The oldest and I
got along fine. The youngest, not so much. He pulled some really bad stuff and my wife threw him
out. If she hadn't I would have left her. It's tough for men and women to accept someone else's kids.
What frosts my ass is the woman act shocked whenever they find out that men don't want a package deal.
Men seem to understand whey women don't want a single father. However, women can accept being a stepmother better than men can accept being a stepfather. Why I don't know. I had one girl say that a real man can accept and care for another man's kids? Excuse me? Let's see, I was a Naval Academy alternate, played college football, was a Marine officer candidate and pilot selectee, and I took an oath to die for the U. S. if need be. And I'm not a real man? Because I don't want some clown's sloppy seconds? In closing, yes I did marry a woman with kids, but I'd never, repeat never do it again.

[Ozanne]

Sounds like the girl using the line that it takes a real man, is just manipulating men in to questioning their masculinity. That's bullshit. We all know that kid and ex drama can very well happen, no matter what the gender. But I think women also take on more men because the guys don't have their kids full time. Just a thought.

[LonelyLillie13]

" I don't want some clown's sloppy seconds"

Would a real man refer to a living child as something like this? That is another human being.. another fellow American? (Marine officer candidate and pilot selectee I would have though moral respect would have come with it...)

[ThePragmaticRomantic]

I've dated a single mom for a year and the kids were fine. To be honest the emotional scars her prick of an ex left her with (and the fact he would do everything in his power to f*ck with her, but insist he should always be around for the kids... who he had no interest what so ever in) were by far the bigger issue in the relationship. The lads were great. Actually oppened my eyes to the fact that I would like to have kids some day.

[Marinepilot]

Pragmatic-You're a lucky man indeed to have experienced this. I haven't and I will never, ever get involved
with a woman with kids again. It's just not my cup of tea. For those people who think I'm asshole, maybe I am about this. But you know where I stand and I'm not flaky.

[Jay-Are]

Not sure why you did it but the fact that you have a picture of Mae West I give that idea a thumbs up.

It's not about being No.1. It is just about making life right. I've been there and I had no problem with that.

[Marinepilot]

I thought it would be different.

[Marinepilot]

Good for you. You're one of the few that I've heard didn't have a problem. As for me, no women with kids by another man. I've tried, I can't deal with and I won't. Why should I ? My mind is irreversibly made up on this.

[LonelyLillie13]

Great don't pass judgement to the world based on your shitty experience, which is one sided for all i know you smoked too much crack and she kicked your ass out...

[Marinepilot]

You wrong as usual. Don't go there with me little girl, you will lose !

[Marinepilot]

Furthermore, I'm stating the truth from a man's point of view. Men don't want to raise another man's children. There's nothing at all wrong for feeling that way. Yes I did have a shitty experience, I walked out on her. So watch you judgments young lady when clearly you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And it shows !

[LonelyLillie13]

"watch you judgments young lady when clearly you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And it shows !"

Take your own advice Asshole !!! All you Made was Judgments. You do not know what the fuck your talking about.

[LonelyLillie13]

"There's nothing at all wrong for feeling that way."

Yes your right for that point, but passing judgments and trashing people is wrong and all you did was point out worst case scenario and a bunch of judgement, stereotypes... An opinion is one thing but going out of your way to trash people is low and makes you look like a loser.

[LonelyLillie13]

And from below...

" I don't want some clown's sloppy seconds"

Would a real man refer to a living child as something like this? That is another human being.. another fellow American? (Marine officer candidate and pilot selectee I would have though moral respect would have come with it...)

[LonelyLillie13]

I do not care how you feel, but you should get your morals in a wrap so you don't come across as an asshole. You talk like a young 20 something guy when you should have more substance than that especially with all your life experiences, I have spoken with many older people and all had so much wisdom and moral respect.