The top strongest feelings that I think are often mistaken for love

[iamyourneighbor]

Sometimes we meet someone and we feel like Cupid shot us with a love arrow and that may be true love. However, these feelings can be mistaken for love in my opinion and sometimes we may not realize it until the person we are dating or are in a relationship with, leaves our life.

1. Lust

Believe it or not, lust is not always a short term thing. They think that because the person makes them horny or turned on or that the person is incredibly hot that they love them.They think just because they have great sex that they are in love with the person. There are couples who have been together for a year and break up only because one person realizes it was just lust.

2. Feeling lonely

A person can miss someone and feel as if they are lonely without them and tell themselves it must be love since they can't spend a day without them and feel they need them. Speaking of needing someone...

3. Dependent or needy

The person feels that they need the person they are dating or talking to 100%, they provide them with necessities such as food,money, water, and shelter. I think this could happen sometimes if someone is cohabitating or not. They may mistake the nurturing for love and think it's true love and that they belong together. Often the person feels 100% dependent on them.

4. The Push and Pull factor

A person you are dating or talking to or in a relationship with is pushing you away or they feel mysterious to you and you have the urge to pull them closer, but when the person opens up to you, you don't feel the intense emotion you felt when they were pushing you away and closed off to you. You feel you are the only person that can change them, you may feel like it's love because of the effort you put into trying to be closer with him or her the more you feel pushed away.

[justbanANNAz]

nice one girl.

can i add one more? although I'm not sure if it falls under any of these.

id say reassurance. say you feel bad about yourself and someone is complimenting you like crazy, that little boost of confidence could lead u to believe that this person may really be someone amazing. I don't know if that makes sense.

[iamyourneighbor]

Thanks
Wow I forgot about that one

[justbanANNAz]

no problem :) nah i think u kinda covered it with being dependent and needy, but i just wanted to give my 2 cents =]

[RexCatholicissimus]

The lust one is very true. As Patrice O'Neal put it once: "I thought I was in love for a while, until I came."

Also the uh... The still from Bates Hotel is a weird one to use, considering that's his mother he's undressing. Not sure that's a typical (though I suppose you could argue loving) relationship.

[iamyourneighbor]

Ew are you serious? Thanks for letting me know ok that's a little weird I wish I never used that I did not know. It's from a movie right?

[abzence]

Nice take. I agree that many confuse love with the feelings you describe.

In my view about what is causing the most confusion about love is the assumption that love is a feeling. People often think "I feel this, therefor I love". Having a specific feeling is not a fool proof sign of love.

I would rather call love a state of being and in this state emotions arise. But it's easy to become confused when you think these emotions are the love itself.

I have boiled down the love "state of being" into three major components which I believe is stillness, clarity and freedom.

You have an inner stillness. Your ego is not screaming and you are not trying to impose on others.

The clarity is that you see things for what they are not what you want them to be. It's an understanding and from this an acceptance. This also makes it possible for you to see the person behind the actions. You see that people are broken and lost instead of bad and evil. When you can understand you can forgive, and when you can forgive you can love.

The freedom is your freedom from desires. You no longer crave and desire love from others but simply welcome it. You don't give love because you expect love in return. You give it because that is all you have to give. This freedom grants you the ability to truly follow your will because you are no longer following your lusts and desires. This is the difference between using and abusing a substance, for example. One is a choice where the other is a compulsion. This is where unconditional love is born.

Love is unconditional. And there's much confusion about this.

You can't crave unconditional love from others. And loving unconditionally doesn't mean that you are a door mat ready to be used and abused by everyone around you. You are always free to remove yourself from destructive individuals even if you still love them.

Loving unconditionally is always the doorway to freedom. It's a state where you are free from craving and demanding love from others. And you are immune to heartbreak because your love is not dependent on the love you get or do not get in return. Once unconditional love has been seen it can never be unseen.

Love is about you and how you see the world and other people. It's not about what you can get and expect from others.

Just my own personal experiences and reflection about the subject of love.

[Cruch101]

Really intresting :)

[homper87]

Yes! Love is selfless.

[Azara]

The thing is love itself is subjective and ephemeral. You can't really pin it down or define it and it's got adiffernt meaning for Everyone. It also depends what you value and want you don't and after all is said and done people who do stay tigetehr do so bc they choose to not bc they love each other. Just as people who love each other can choose not to be together. And there's no saying being together is correct. That if you're together and then ultimately break up that doemst mean it was wrong or you wee never in love. Love isn't love bc it's forever it's love bc if what love is to you.

And I'm really not sure why people feel like it's so important to try to define a feeling lien love. You either really want to try with someone or you don't. Thinking you love them is never the reason bc if you loved them but wee incompatible you most likely wouldn't do it. Feeling like you're in love is lovely though intense. Being in love is lovely thigh intense. I don't think feeling " like" you're in love and being in love matter.

[Beaver19]

I think there's some merit here defintely, however I do think you can still have these feeling alongside love. Infact I believe looks are a natural human factor so lust is a must you could say, (young at least) yes you're correct there is another layer but the lust or physical attraction must still be there. That's something I take seriously and to me I need to be attracted strongly to a girls looks for me to romantically love her. Call it list if you want but I do think it's natural and human to be "shallow"

[iamyourneighbor]

That was not my point but ok

[Beaver19]

I realize I went over depth there sorry, but I meant that you can have some of these characteristics in an actual loving relationship too.

[Broswater]

On Lust: To me love comes out of lust. Why else would you take the time to get to know someone? Why do you think they call ''tinder'', tinder ;) Y'a need a spark to start a fire.

On Feeling lonely: If I was not feeling like there is something missing in my life and I am alone, why would I pursue romantic relationships? The need for company is normal for humans.

[iamyourneighbor]

I'm not saying that

[Broswater]

I know. I am.

[Speeder132]

It's true, deep down it's human nature to be desired. It makes us feel needed in life which in turn gets us to want more people to want us. All the feelings you described keep us coming back for 'love'.

[simplegal123]

Does loving someone even after they left you heartbroken for life fall under love... even when we will never see or talk to each other... having that feeling that they be happy in whatever they do... God bless their soul... is it love then?

[iamyourneighbor]

Yes...

[TheGeorge]

If you want to be with someone and you are happy about it, it doesn't matter what your reasons are.

[iamyourneighbor]

Ok but this mytake is not about feeling happy after these emotions

[YourFutureEx]

Why do I think about THAT specific person when I'm lonely?

[iamyourneighbor]

Because you have Lana del Rey as a profile picture lol

[YourFutureEx]

I'm cursed ;_;

[thedevilwithin]

Really insightful. I know looking back at some of my past relationships these definitely played a significant part of the relationship.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

I Want to Know What Love Is.
*sings softly* I want you to show meeee

[abundantlyrich]

it's just emotional attachment from regular sex and being with each other all the time.

[checkyesjulietx]

i often have that infatuation stage but it dies down after a couple of weeks

[iamyourneighbor]

Lol I like your username
You are only 18 that song came out when you are 10. Props to liking good music

[iamyourneighbor]

*were 10

[checkyesjulietx]

haha thanks! :D

[ObscuredBeyond]

Pity/sympathy can lead to love and be mistaken for it. That trap has often snagged me.

[SIGguy]

Sounds familiar. Funny how guys think only single girls have cats. I have cats, too. 4 of them.

[iamyourneighbor]

What?

[SIGguy]

What, you've never heard that one? I have, hundreds of times.

[justanotheruser]

Omg i wish i could keep cats , my mum hates them because cats love her so much they always creep on her and tackle her xD the irony

[smahala1991]

I can agree i've fallen in love many times or what I thought was love until it hit me.

[Gommers]

Being lonely sucks, really clouds reality.

[smahala1991]

I agree but you gotta keep on going

[nileve]

I agree
we all fall under one i fall under needy

[Heavyhitter]

Then how do u know if u r in love then?

[homper87]

When your love is selfless.

[Deezyy]

Overall I agree, but you left out infatuation.

[ginnyweasley]

good my take i would have added obsession

[MysteriousFlower]

These are quite accurate, an efficient take.