Don't make getting a girlfriend/boyfriend a priority

[MikeyTheRebel]

Focus on Yourself

I wanted to share this myTake amidst me getting over a girl that got in a relationship with another guy even though I thought we were going to end up together. People like to tell you what to feel and that you should just move on but it really hurt and it hit me hard. This happened recently and I've found it to be a learning experience. I love reading articles or blogs online and sometimes I read about relationships and dating. I remember reading somewhere that you shouldn't let a relationship be a mission in your life and it dawned on me that I was doing exactly that. Before this girl there was another and she had let me down also, it wasn't that I was trying to jump into something but I found myself doing just that. Even though this new girl had approached me I knew I needed some time to recover from the previous girl, which brings me to another point. But before I move on to the next point I want to elaborate on the heading "Focus on Yourself". If you're not in the place you want to be in or you find yourself battling depression you might want to take time away from focusing on a relationship and focus more on making yourself a better you. The better your life is the more oppurtunities arise for you to enter a relationship. You want a girl to be an addition to your life, not your actual life.

Allow Yourself Time To Heal

After a heartbreak you need to take some time off, that's where I went wrong. Instead of allowing myself to eventually alleviate my pain I covered it up and started talking to a new girl right away. So when this new girl and I didn't work out, I felt twice the amount of pain I probably would of felt. Allow yourself to be frustrated and feel whatever emotion you feel like feeling. But don't try to cover it up and rebound. In this timespan of healing focus on your job, school, hobbies, passion, etc. Whatever it is you love doing or need improving on, do it. I guarantee you'll feel a lot better when you start reaching your own personal goals.

A Significant Other Should be an Addition

This brings me to my final point which I've mentioned already, treat a girlfriend/boyfriend as an addition in your life. they ADD to your happiness not bring you all of your happiness and well being. With that being said I hope everyone has a great week and if you're going through a similar situation as myself just know that it will get better. Treat it as a lesson.

[Kirah]

You probably haven't been single for long. Relationships are a basic human need, mostly due to cuddling, hugging and kissing. Lack of aforementioned things lead to depression and loneliness. Anyone who's been single for at least 5 years will be able to tell you that.

[TheSkaFish]

I agree. If you don't make getting a relationship a priority, then there isn't much to prevent you from just continuing to be single indefinitely - quite possibly for the rest of your youth and even the rest of your life. You have to do something, I don't think the universe will just decide to fix it on its own.

[MikeyTheRebel]

I've been single for quite some time now. More than a couple years tbh.

[Unit1]

I am 20, soon turning 21 years and never had a girlfriend before. I can report, that I am standing my ground in solitude. Maybe not exactly happy but I have other reasons than that, which are bringing me down.
I have to agree with the take owner.

[singlebee]

I have been single most of my life till now and I have never been depressed because I don't have a girlfriend... hahahah

[mrsingle]

I agree.

I have never been in a relationship but have always wanted it. I have no friends either. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression. If I don't find someone who thinks I'm special what's the point of life? To be alone forever talking to myself, I don't want that! A girlfriend would save my life.

[TheGuyFromMiddleEast]

The girl is right. G@G administration, invent MHO for mytakes so she can get it.

[bloodmountain1990]

Totally agree with the don't rebound part. Having dated someone on the rebound, all it did was put me on the rebound and have commitment issues. Not worth it.

[bloodmountain1990]

I'd also like to add that guys making other guys feel worthless unless they're getting laid or a girlfriend is also a big cause of why you see guys become needy, clingy, and have a low self esteem with no confidence.

I mean if you want a girlfriend/boyfriend that's fine and put yourself out there but don't rely on it for happiness because it's very counterproductive and will make it harder. Guys have it harder in that regard.

[MikeyTheRebel]

Very true

[skykidx1]

I argee 100% with this but i wil Say i never made dating My priority but i have been guilt of letting a relationship control my life which i didn't even notice this till months after the break up. I spent everyday since My break up working on myself and improving myself even through am not really happy but hoping once i reseach some of my goals that will change. I honestly wanted too tell you my story and want i went through during the break up and how much bad advice i got but i didn't wanna bore anyone or sound like am biching. I went through so much shit during the break up all at once even almost lost my sister to cancer but the a story for another day. And i supposed if i ever did speak to my ex agin i would así her why didn't que fight for me when her parents forced us apart? Always i have accpet everything that happened And can't wait too date agin when am ready.. But bring in a relationship really does make you a lot happy.

[sephylove]

Great take. Same thing happened to me. I didn't allow myself time to heal so every emotion, insecurity and pain I felt I dumped it on the rebound. I actually ended up falling for him though but it was unhealthy and when it was over it hurt a lot more than it should have. I'm trying to focus on myself now for a long time. And I hope to become better in the process to develop healthy relationships.

[glockenspiel]

Thanks, that's a very sensible take and something I needed to hear.

[MikeyTheRebel]

Glad I could help

[Lisa2521]

It's an amazing take with a great advice.
Actually I wasn't making relationships my priority until I noticed that I think so much about sex and I'm horny all the time. Now I'm 22 virgin and I think thinking about sex is confusing me and it doesn't let me think clearly about my job , hobbies and goals!
I don't know how to solve this without having a boyfriend.
Any Ideas please!

[MikeyTheRebel]

I would suggest casual relationships but you might not want to do that as a virgin. You probably want your first time to be special, as far as obtaining a boyfriend are you sure there isn't anyone who might like you or that you might like?

[Lisa2521]

Yes , I don't prefer casual relationships in my first time, there are a lot who can like me and I can like them too. But it's more complicated than liking.
I just don't want to say everything here even as an anonymous , If you can send me a private message I can tell you the problem.
Thanks for your try to help.

[MikeyTheRebel]

Yea np, but you'd have to message me. I can't message you since you're anonymous.

[Lisa2521]

Thank you :)
I'm not anonymous anymore , but I still can't send you a message , it doesn't work , can you try sending?

[xXtemberlyXx]

Absolutely wonderful take. I agree 100% with all you said. Must be because I learned it after loosing someone I thought I'd be with too.

[Anonymous]

Kirah is right, we can't treat it like a "bonus" or an "addition." It's absolutely a priority. Humans are social creatures and it's important to have someone you can hold an intimate bond with. Sure I always am trying to improve myself and grow but I can't not care about wanting an eventual wife and children. I've been single for almost 3 years now since my last relationship, it's lonely and finding another girl would not be an addition but a significant upgrade in my life.

[Kelfuma]

There's this girl that I like who lives in Indonesia and I only met her through Steam (a PC gaming platform). I have known her for 7 months now and we're talking but I really want to enter into a relationship with her.

I'm a little crazy over her but I control myself while my mother tells me what to say to her. I'm gonna ask her again if she's still single ;)

[joseyyywhales]

This is exactly what's going on my life. I just recently went through a heartbreak and I have a girl who I think is interested. I really like this new girl but I'm afraid to ask her out, in fear of getting hurt again.

[MikeyTheRebel]

Trust me I know how you feel, I'm not saying don't go for a possible relationship if you see an opportunity (Which some people might seem to think is what I mean) All I'm saying is don't make it take over your life and become the prime focus.

[Anonymous]

I do not make relationships a priority and I get criticized for not basing my self worth on my relationship status
I'm not sure why so many men and women want to be defined by their relationships
It's sad which is why they get so depressed when they become single

[DarkHumorRUs]

I'm in the place I be besides the fact that I have never had a girlfriend. And I don't simply want a girlfriend just because I've never had one.

[Deezyy]

Great take, I agree there's much wisdom to be taken from relationships. Good job.😊

[MikeyTheRebel]

Thanks!

[Phoenix98]

Agreed and besides anybody who has sought after something intently knows that the harder you try to get something the harder it becomes to get.

[MattysCookies]

i totally agree with this, you're a very wise person

[Xwtxx]

It is a good idea because you can receive hugs from friends. It is a slow process for me because I am getting over instant gratification.

[Bards]

Great take!!!

[MikeyTheRebel]

Thank you for reading!

[Anonymous]

Seems like its worse for men to make it a top priority than the other way around

[pavlove]

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