Dear Guys: I’m Sorry

It’s about time I make a take for the guys. I’m an egalitarian as you know and I feel that there needs to be more representation for the sexism that men face in our society today along with the unfair social expectations and standards that are placed against them. I know a lot of people don’t want these issues acknowledged (either because they don’t agree or are afraid that it will belittle the feminist progress) but I don’t care, because I feel somebody needs to say something about it. SO, here is a list of sexist/social bullhonkey that men have to deal with, from the perspective of the woman.

Dear Guys: I’m Sorry

Disclaimer: Ladies, I’m not trashing you or trying to be rude to anyone in particular. If you see me mention women at all, know its very specific kinds of women, not women as a whole. Also keep in mind my humor is super dry and crude so if you are easily offended I advise you don’t partake in this take.

Equality for all! … But pay for my food.

Okay, obviously fewer women are like this now, but there are still women out there who have the expectation that if a guy asks them out that they absolutely must pay for the date. Any time I ask them why, there’s a few common responses:

  • Because that’s how they were raised/they’re “traditional” that way
  • Because the one who invites pays
  • Because he makes more money


I’m sorry but I think that isn’t fair. You’re traditional, eh? So you’re going to take his hat, coat, make him dinner, be a stay at home wife and care for your kids while he beats you with a stick no wider than his thumb? Okay, clearly that’s an exaggeration (forgive my humor), but I’m sure you understand what I mean. If you want to be traditional, that’s fine, but don’t pick and choose which traditional concepts that suit you while ignoring others because they’re “sexist.”

The one who invites pays? Last time I checked, if my friends invite me out to dinner or the bar, they aren’t paying for me; it’s BYOS – BUY YOUR OWN SHIT. I don’t care if it’s a date, it isn’t mandatory for a man to wine and dine you while footing the bill, especially if you two don’t work out. You should at least offer to split the bill for the sake of courtesy. And if he still pays, appreciate how unbelievably kind that gesture is, because in most places the economy is shit, even for people who make a decent living.

He makes more money than you, okay, I understand this somewhat. I still don’t believe that means he should foot the bill every time, I think this means you two should try going on dates that don’t cost a bunch of money. It's a little self entitled to think that because you make less that he has to take you on dates and pay for everything.

Men CAN’T Get Raped

I intend to make an entire take devoted to this because this literally kills me inside. There is still the social stigma that a man cannot be raped by anybody other than another man. This isn’t true.

A woman can very much rape a man and it very well may be more common than we know, because the whole concept is not only shamed, but it’s treated with the air of “It simply doesn’t exist, period.” “If he was ‘raped’ he would have had to be erect, so he obviously enjoyed it.”

So if a woman is forced to orgasm or unintentionally orgasms while she’s being violently raped, it’s no longer rape. Do we see how ridiculous that is?

Of course it’s still rape, it’s still horrible, deplorable, and an absolute disgusting injustice regardless of gender. No one should be the subject to rape, and it still kills me that women are rape shamed, yet it’s just so normal to rape shame men in the event that he is not a child who was taken advantage of by another man. I’m not going to say that the man-to-woman rape ratio isn’t higher, that’s not my point; my point is, is that men who have been sexually assaulted by a woman have little to no resources. Here’s an example: Trent University in Oshawa Ontario offers a program where they assist the victims or familiars of the victim of rape … but they do not offer these services to male students. They simply offer to “find them alternative resources.” What, what?! Do you know how that can deter people? It’s hard enough to talk about such an awful thing as it is, but now you can’t go to a place where you’re safe and comfortable for help because the staff only knows how to deal with one gender’s issues?

That just isn’t fair.

Lose Your Wife & Half of Your Life

If a man is in better financial standing than his wife and they divorce, she gets half of his stuff, more often than not. I’ve read so many news articles where a woman (without a job) left with half of her husband’s multibillion-dollar company when they divorced, and her justification is was that she “Helped him by providing him emotional support.” I wish I could find this article to show you.

Honestly this gets me so fired up that I feel I should just refer you to my man Chris Rock.

I’m sorry to every newly single mother, and I 100% believe that when you divorce that your ex husband should make sure his children are cared for. What I don’t agree with is that he stands to lose so much when there is no right for a woman to take it. If you didn’t found that company, earn that money, or buy that car – in my opinion it doesn’t belong to you. Making sure your kids have a home and have what they need? Absolutely he should make sure that happens – but it’s also the mother’s responsibility to get a job to contribute.

I watched my dad go through this, so needless to say, I feel passionate about the subject. I get that things are slowly getting better but it needs a lot of work still


This one actually kind of breaks my heart a little. Listen, I get the whole “be a man” deal; men are raised to be strong, a lot of them encouraged by their hardened fathers to be providers, protectors, and emotionally stable. I have no issue with people who have a desire to “be a man” about things. What I don’t agree with is that this phrase is used to belittle men who show emotion or who break away from the social norm of behavior, and that the prospect of a man being sensitive and emotional is deemed unattractive and unmanly by many people.

How many of you have been told to man up when you just wanted to cry? How many of you have had a girl tell you that you’re not a man because you didn’t do X, Y, and Z for her? How many of you have heard that another guy is “more of a man” than you? It’s sexist to say one woman is more womanly than the other (it could be related to sexism, body shaming, etc) but nobody has an issue throwing this term around.

Domestic Dispute - You CAN NEVER HIT A WOMAN!

I think this is a pile of bullshit. Half of domestic abuse victims are men, yet we still hold the standard that men, under no circumstance, can hit a woman.

Call me what you want but I believe in "eye for an eye." If you hit a guy, there is no reason why he shouldn't have the right to hit you back. But people argue the size difference. Yet, we also argue that women shouldn't be discriminated against when applying for physically laborous jobs such as fire fighting - but you can't slap her back if she slaps you, she's a woman. You're biologically proven to be bigger and stronger, so if there's a domestic dispute, you can't defend yourself.

"There's no reason to a hit a woman."

Yes, there is actually. Self defense is a perfectly good time to hit a woman. If a woman is clawing, hitting, punching, slapping, there's no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to drop her to the ground with one punch. The reason it's frowned upon is because people still hold the idea that the man - who is typically bigger - can "take" it, but the woman - who is smaller - simply can't because she's fragile, and a woman. Did I mention she's a woman?

You don't have the right to beat the shit out of a woman, or anyone for that matter. What's fair and what's self defense needs to be treated that way, not as a "kick the shit out of you for free" card.

If you get slapped by some chick, I'm not suggesting you engage in a full out brawl with her, though I personally feel it's fair to slap someone back - you just don't do it because it's not legal. It would be the bigger thing to do to walk away, but what I don't agree with is the idea that under no circumstances can he fight back. If he pushes her away, or leaves a bruise, he is in trouble, HE has the social biased of being a man who is bigger than the woman who attacked him so he could be the one facing charges even if she instigated the fight by throwing a hit first.

Let me put it to you this way: if I go up to a bear - a trained bear, a docile bear - and start edging it on, taunting it, and hitting it, NO ONE will feel sorry for me if it turns around sucker-paws me in the head. Because I was the one instigating and hitting it. Why is it that just because he's a man and she's a woman that he can't defend himself? It's stupid to me, I'm sorry.

Things have gotten better in this field as well, but I don't feel it's completely equal and unbiased yet.

I’m sorry you guys have to put up with this. I really am.

That’s all I’m going to write for this one. I’m sure I’m going to piss off a lot of people with this take but I felt it needed to be said so if people want to get angry it’s their right to feel that way. But my opinion won’t change.

Have a good one everybody.

Dear Guys: I’m Sorry
Add Opinion

Have An Opinion?

Most Helpful Girl

  • itsallover

    This take is absolutely great. Men's issues are largely ignored and brushed under the carpet, and I think a lot of it is due to the expectation for them to 'be a man', like you stated. In my country (not sure about the US) the single biggest killer of men under 45 is suicide, which I found extremely upsetting. Something is hurting these men inside, but they're expected to just bottle it up within and suck it up.

    Is this still revelant?
    • 26ukdude

      I am one of those men, from your country, in that situation... fortunately im still here :-)

    • Thank you, so, so so much. I was not expecting for this to be well received by women but you have proven to me that thereès hope.

    • Sorry had keyboard in French mode. Lol.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • AleDeEurope

    Uh oh, you just opened Pandora's box xD
    Nice take, I agree with all this, a shame most women don't see this and don't understand it.
    Prepare for comments from girls saying you're kissing guy's butts with this post, there's already one downvoting every guy's opinion xD

    Is this still revelant?
    • I know, I'm waiting for the wave of girls to come bearing pitch forks and torches to tell me I'm anti-feminist (which I am not).

    • It's the risk with these kind of posts, if instead of men it was about women, you'd had a bunch of men crying about it.
      People can't accept that others also have problems, and that's why we keep having those problems. We live in a society of men and women, if both don't work together to solve both gender's problems, we'll still have those problems.

    • I have to agree with you.

What Girls & Guys Said

  • Stacyzee

    You're entitled to your opinion.
    However, I disagree with the very first argument you put out.
    I don't think there's anything wrong with people holding themselves to a certain standard.
    How you deal with "friends" and "someone you can potentially spend the rest of your life" is completely different. There is no comparison.
    If my friends ask me to hang out... sure I'll pay for myself or split the bill.
    However, when a man is asking a girl out in hopes of impressing her or being with her in the future he should have the courtesy to pay the entire bill.
    If he's concerned about never seeing this girl again, then go to an affordable place.
    Who says the place has to be upscale?
    If paying for someone elses meal is his biggest concern it leads me to think he doesn't have his priorities straight.
    Why should that even be a problem?
    I know when I've asked other people to accompany me to events (whether they are a friend or a family member), I've had no problem paying their half.
    I strictly just want to enjoy my chosen company.
    If the experience turns opposite of what I want... then so be it.
    That's expected out of a date.
    Getting angry over the fact that you picked up someones (ex.$10 tab) is childish.
    Whether a guy chooses to pay a entire meal or not... has nothing to do with him being above a woman. If a man chooses to pay a meal that has nothing to do with equality or him being superior.
    Equality has to do with providing everyone equal treatment not necessarily the fact if they choose to do a gesture of courtesy or not.
    When I get better acquainted with this guy and we establish a long term relationship there will be times I pay for everything or split the bill.
    But in the initial dating process, if he's asking me out, he is expected to pay.
    That is the standard I hold for myself.
    I think that's perfectly fine!
    If you hold yourself to a different standard that's fine too.

    • tyber1

      Boo-boo *thumbs down*

    • Stacyzee

      Don't care about the thumbs down or those who flock together to say what's socially acceptable.
      I don't follow the trend.
      I stand on my own and say what's on my mind.
      There could be 100 thumbs down and I still wouldn't care.

    • Honestly, everything you applied to the man there should be applied to women too. My point is, is that the fact that he's a man should not dictate that he has to pay for the meal to impress her. Why would she not pay for the meal? Because she's a woman? Mind you everyone is entitled to feel the way they feel, I just don't understand how having certain genitals means you are suddenly responsible for forking over money to court your mate.

    • Show All
  • bubble_tea

    Great take. I agree with every one of the complaints except the "Lose Your Wife & Half of Your Life" point. I mean I get that it's ridiculous to get millions from a divorce, but wives who stop working to bear and raise their children with the full support and even expectation of her husband to do so is -entitled- to something after a divorce. That something should equal what she -would- have earned if she kept working during all those years and sent the kids to a nursery instead or had no children. If he doesn't earn that much to do so, it should be split in ratio of how much he earnt compared to what she earnt.
    Some men specifically look for women with that mentality to marry, because they love that these women are so 'family-oriented' and puts the well-being of their children on top priority to not let them be raised by strangers. It's unfair to say those women end up with nothing if marriage goes south, because they were stupid to want that in the first place when both wanted that. E. g. this woud force female victims of domestic abuse to stay with their traditional husbands, because they would end up on the streets. Or wives who raised the children while their husbands went to fuck others or trade them for wife 2.0
    Of course, it's very unfair when she's the one abusing & cheating and decides to leave and he has to pay alimony on top of getting his heart broken. I think those are the kind of women who should end up with nothing.

    It seems most of this only happens to men marrying traditional women. I don't think he has to lose half of his assets during a divorce if his wife earns just as much as him. But men generally aren't interested in marrying women who earn as much as them, they go for -other values- and how much money she brings to the table is the last thing on their minds. Maybe that's a mistake guys should own up to and change.

    • Well the fact is women initiate divorce the most (80%) so isn't it on them? If they are the ones who are breaking the relationship then why is the man expected to pay them? If the man is still fullfilling his obligations then their is no excuse for him to have to keep paying her plus in most places alimony is for life ie it doesn't matter if they where together for a month or 50 years the man still pays her the same until the day he dies. That is not particularly fair. Further more if the roles are reveresed women are not obligated to pay (rarely are they court ordered to).

    • bubble_tea

      Do you know how many of those 80% finally initiated divorce, because he verbally or physically abused of her and their children, because of his drinking or gambling problems or cheating and she gave a final warning that he chose to ignore? I don't.
      Also, I already stated that she should get nothing if she is in the wrong. @hellionthesage

    • Well statisticly men are more likely to be verbally abused by their wives/girlfriends then a woman is. They are actually more likely to be abused as well (70% of all non-reciprocal violence between intimate partners is initiated by women. 50% of reciprocal violence is initiated by women. Some studies show that violence within a relationship for men is not an indicator of past or future domestic violence but it is an indicator of such for women suggesting that the women even in these situations initiated violence, most likely through verbal abuse which men suffer considerablly more then women.) So, again that is not really applicable because otherwise their would be far more males filing for divorce, and when they do again they are required to pay alimony/childsupport.

    • Show All
  • VampireEmpress

    there's been a number of girls writing these same takes lately. they all do it for the attention. fyi guys, just because random girls online write a few paragraphs doesn't mean they really care...

    • Attention? So if a woman makes a take about social issues... it's for attention? If I wanted attention, I'd be posting "How do I look" questions half naked. You ma'am are just ignorant.

    • jjmarvin

      Lol so no one cares about the other gender? That's pessimistic. Egalitarianism is about a care of all demographics. Just because you took one afternoon to talk about someone who isn't yourself doesn't mean it's fake.

    • @vampireempress dis she block you for disagreeing with her yet? Lmao

    • Show All
  • Jbbhaze449

    I might add the stereo type that sons teen age or older can't be physically abused by their mothers. If a father hit you with a ceramic plate or punched you continuously even after blocking it with a cushion, he would get in trouble. But a mother doing the exact same thing doesn't raise any issues. All the programs for people escaping an abusive home are for children or women only. Even if it's an abusive father. I found out that by chance. I never had to escape anyone. I know someone though. But for example if a mother is charging her disabled son 450$ rent for a run down house she owns, that doesn't have plumbing and limited electricity. It's all he can find or afford but she still often comes around and destroys it a little further because it's hers and she does what she wants or some crap. And he can't save to move out because she charges him everything he makes and claims he owes her more. The police and senior and disabled services don't have any resources for a man over 17. They'll take his police report when he gets hit with a hard object but he has no other option but to take the abuse or be homeless until he finds a place for 450$ or less in an area that doesn't really exist. The resources exist for trapped abused women but not men.

  • abzence

    Nice take!
    I also like the argument when women say not to slap them back because they are "smaller and weaker".

    I would love to see a small and weak guy try this out by walking up to big strong men and slap them in the face and use the same phrase "Hey, you can't hit me back because I'm smaller and weaker than you!". We all know what would happen to that little guy in most cases.

    That being said, I hate violence. But I also hate double standards.

    • I agree with you 100% there. He'd receive ZERO sympathy because he would be seen as the idiot who went after a stronger guy.

    • abzence

      Exactly. And he would of course be an idiot for doing this, everyone would think that. But just replace that weak little guy with an average woman and we both know the story would be completely different.

  • AmericanPoet

    Interesting take but I am sure you caught a lot of backlash. This is one of those unspoken subjects that causes the politically correct crowd to lose their minds.

    The current US legal system needs to evolve. There are a lot of old laws that do not apply to today's situations. These are a few examples I have noticed in America:

    The legal system favors the woman heavily. Husband and wife split, it is an uphill fight for the man to have custody. The default is always to the mother. This isn't equality.

    "Woman gets half" - I get that back in 1950 a woman with little education or no skills would have trouble surviving if the family split up. This is not the case today. I don't have an answer but "half" isn't always it.

    Child support - the figures are crazy and basically leaves one party broke, usually the man. I understand that the intent is to continue the lifestyle for the children but it's often way above necessity. Plus people abuse this all the time. I have a friend who is divorced. He pays child support. She moved in with an uber rich dude. Since they are not married his liability keeps him broke while his ex is living like a queen with the kids. This isn't equality.

    On this note, I personally know of two situations: Guy doesn't pay his child support he loses his license and ends up in jail. Same judge, woman doesn't pay child support... absolutely NOTHING is done to her. This isn't equality.

    The feminist slogan "equal pay for equal work" sounds great but in reality it simply is not true. Real studies done on the subject debunk this myth and show that there is a gap, but only about 2%. No voter is going to get worked up because they make 98 cents and the guy next to her makes $1. Do I know why there is a 2% gap, no. But I can say with certainty that it is not a gender bias. Such a small anomaly could be any number of external factors. Just because Sheila didn't negotiate well for her salary is not an indication that I have a gender bias.

    The PC crowd isn't out to solve problems or have a dialog on these issues, they simply want to bully, shout down or intimidate people who have a different opinion.

    Good on you for at least trying to have a rational discussion.

    • Oh yes, I've gotten backlash, but it was worth it.

  • genuinlysensitive

    Lol, how can you say you "arent against feminism" when feminism is the root cause of about 90% of everything you just mentioned?

    • Because I don't necessarily believe that advocating women's rights is the issue; I think it's people who pervert feminism and age old sexist beliefs that haven't been addressed or dealt with.

    • Cjanes

      Finally someone understands that feminism isent the problem it's the people twisting it's meaning :)

    • That's right @Cjanes. This isn't about demonizing feminism, it's about understanding that there's other problems.

    • Show All
  • Tacticious

    Omg. You are a badass. Not much more that I can say.

  • OrdinaryGentleman

    I can see the line of pitchforks on the horizon lol. Anyways, nicely written I really enjoyed the my_take, I think that this issue is not touched on because no one is nice nor brave enough to do it.

    • Oh I know, I'm waiting for it. But thank you very much nonetheless.

  • broadsword

    Um wow just wow. Iam blown away by this.
    I have been trying to find away to say this for about five years. Gave up because I realised that this would have to come from a woman to be believed.
    Thank you so much 😆

  • asiag299

    This is why I'm not an equality activist or whatever. I much prefer the older days and I could have gone without the right to vote, work, etc. That's my opinion though :)

    • To each their own ma'am.

    • Octavius

      The thing is though that's just a choice for your own personal life that you want which is perfectly fine. People just want others who may desire different things be able to express those things as well. There are still old fashioned people for you to surround yourself with and have that kind of life if you desire.

    • GirlsLie

      Why would you consider your vote any less useful because you're a woman?

      What would you do if you were in a situation where you relied solely on men financially. If you ended up in an unhappy situation you would really have no alternative.

    • Show All
  • circlebill

    Takeowner, you show very great wisdom! You've shown the concept of what it is to be a true QUEEN among women! More women should try to see the other side as you have done. You have my respect! Bless your kind, understanding heart!

  • hellionthesage

    "he beats you with a stick no wider than his thumb" - that was a myth. In fact a man who beat his wife was not looked upon favorablly (you'll note that in any story dating as far back as antiquity the man that harmed women where the villains and the men who treated them well where the heroes. This was a reflection of the mentality society had at those times.)
    (Not being critical, its just this myth is a pet peeve of mine and wished to prove that its false. Ironic too considering that men are taught at a young age that it is not okay to hit females but women have no such teachings. Probably why most data suggests that men are more likely to be abused by women then the other way around.)
    Men do get raped and it would seem at the same ratio as women:
    (You said may be the same, just wanted to add creedence to the statement with hard data.)
    "be a man" is not necessarily wrong I think it does have a lot of good in it, strength perververance solution focused thinking and frequently selflessness (being the providor putting aside your own needs for others etc.) So in this I would say it is good, but as you stated when misapplied, that is when issues occur. I do think it should be instilled in boys, but should also be acknowledged that this is different then burying your emotions or ignoring your own well being, its a balancing act.
    As for violence, its funny that size difference only comes into play when its a woman who initiates a fight against a man, if the man hit a much larger woman and she knocked him out their would be no issue, if a small man attacked a larger man their would be no issue, if a small woman attacked a larger woman their would be no issue. It is only when its a woman striking a man that their is an issue. I always was confused that society at large didn't acknowledge this, it seems so obvious (I like your analogue to the bear, reminds me of a quote, "If you kick a nice dog enough times, even he will bite.") I would also point out that their is a demand for gender parity in male dominant fields like politics and the STEM fields, yet no one seems to have issues with the fact that 70% of the homeless are men, or that all the physically demanding or dangerous jobs are held by men (women don't seem to demand the right to work those jobs) and their is no attempt at paridy in female dominated fields. So overall good take, I appreciate that a woman is saying it, sadly it will be taken more seriously if women speak about it then if a man did.

    • Saletri

      I have those teachings because well my parents seriously believe in equality. So i understand your opinion.

    • @Saletri Thats good, most unfortunatley though do not.

  • Maverickj

    I cannot thank you enough for writing this take. I'm happy that there are women out there who know how hard guys can have it, instead of seeing us as "oppressors".

    • I am glad that it made you a little happier then.

  • QuestionMan

    Love the take you took the words right out of my mouth.
    I remember reading the article you mentioned about Oshawa actually I just don't remember the details.
    Didn't know you like Chris Rock too :)

  • orphan

    2nd sentence i had to look up egalitarian. when using uncommon words, it's a good practice to explicitly clue in your reader with a definition or context clues.

    now i'm inclined to not read any further.

    just a tip.

    • I don't see why it's my job to have to explain something such as that to the reader and why that suddenly would make my take lose it's readability. Thanks for the "tip" but I find it nit picky and unnecessary.

    • gysport392

      orphan - you must be a blast at a party.

      Sure, that word may exceed the vocabulary of many readers and lessen those who chose to click on it and read it, which is a fair point to anyone who hopes to impact a lot of minds, but at the same time if someone doesn't know that word they likely don't want to read a philosophical argument to this effect so it's more or less moot.

  • A very touching take! Thank you for sharing your opinion. It means something for us.

    Ironically if I praise women with my opinions, I'm getting downvoted =l

    • I come here returning.
      Whoever your boyfriend is, he MUST be lucky to have a real woman like you! I wish there were more such real women out there! Really!
      I don't know if I can say that I am surprised to see the angry female commenters here undermining your entire noble work. I mean in no way am I saying, that I expected better from the females but the fact, that these issues aren't being taken into consideration a lot (mostly by the opposite sex) is very dramatic.
      You simply are a real woman! Women could really just take an idol and learn from you. I know I'd be extremely lucky to meet a woman like you!
      Once again appreciated it!

      I could use some tips to be an appreciating guy for the real ladies like you. I know you helped me big time and I'd kindly ask how I can be considerate for women. Treating them as an equal is the first step I remember. What do women have to deal with?

    • Thank you lol

    • I believe the angry females disagreeing with you and talking down on men deep down (mostly subconsciously) hate men to a certain degree or have 0 respect for men. This is a bidirectional street actually. Rest assured I would never involve myself with misandristic females, no matter how little or strong the misandry.

      I don't like angry or aggressive "women". ;P I like the nice, loving and considerate women :)

    • Show All
  • jjmarvin

    Yeah I'm a pretty little guy, i wanna defend myself if in some rare instance shit gets crazy. But i think guys get a little too amped up and salty when talking about this simple topic. Guys who get super mad when talking about this make me nervous they are muscley meatheads who hit girls and guys unprovoked all the time.

    I agreed with all your broad points in this take, these are the main sexisms men deal with. And it was written with zero anti-woman butthurt. Very nice take.

  • thetundrawolf

    You are a good woman. Any man who ends up with you is going to be blessed.

    Still, about buying food, I will always buy her meal, it shows I am willing to provide for her, and that she is worth spending money on/ sacrificing for. I think many women want a man who will provide for them, it is in our instincts and DNA, and I want to show her I understand that. And even if it didn't work out between us, she should still know she is valuable and worth it.

  • Toad-1

    It's about time a woman recognizes these things especially the rape thing.

    I've seen so many times where a girl on here will say a woman can't rape a man... That's just wrong.

  • Bitterpill

    Nice Take! I really enjoying reading them as you present them with such eloquence that it makes it a pleasure to read.

    However, compliments aside. It would seem we still have a long way to go as a society. In the quest to over turn and correct years of inequality it would seem some things have been overlooked or ignored, so its nice to see that some women are concerned about men's struggles too. There are clearly some myths and assumptions that still need to be challenged and corrected. In order to have equality people have to accept the positive and the negative sides of it and not just cherry pick the things that work in their favour.

    I've never been raped by anyone (thankfully) however I have been sexually assaulted by a woman and no I've never reported it after all who would take it seriously? After all it does seem like most people consider it a bit of a joke or that I should think myself lucky. Well I didn't feel lucky as it happens, I felt quite annoyed that this woman took a liberty with my body and then found it amusing. Now don't get me wrong I'm not traumatised by this event but I do feel a little irked by the hypocrisy of if it had been the other way around I would have been (quite rightly) arrested for doing such a thing, that doesn't seem equal to me

  • Alexious

    Bravo. This take was probably the best one I've ever read. I can't fucking stand the term "man up".

  • pineappleshortcare

    Well written!

    A lot of these aren't very logical and just pander to the upvotes, but this is fantastic!

    Though, if one partner (often the woman, but that's changing) agrees to scale back on their career for the kids, that should be considered and they should have time to develop themselves.

    Also, I'm not really keen on knocking someone out as self defense, either. I've had chicks punch me without me punching back for this reason, so it's a stance towards deescalation that I favor, not double standards.

    On the flip side, I also think it's perfectly reasonable for both partners to do household chores, make decisions and take care of the children.

  • thatdudeoverthere14

    Was the whole "No wider then his thumb" thing a reference to bodock saints (movie of two Irish brothers who fright the Russian and Italian mafia) because one dude one is the main characters was fuking around in the being trying to piss off this really "body lifting" women? It had Norman redus (Daryl from the walking dead) in it

  • Accipiter

    It's always warming to see how other people are wiling to try to put themselves into your shoes. Good article. Being a guy isn't actually as bad as you make it out to be though. :)

  • Shay1994

    Wow... THIS is how equality should be enforced. Great take girl, great take indeed :D

  • spuitkaas

    I love this take, except for the divorce part. My dad is a divorce lawyer and let me tell you, a lot of women didn't fully developed their profession to take care for the children. It happends more than you think. Either they don't work or does a part time job which both man and woman agreed to do. So ofcourse she earns less than the man, but that's something you can expect and there are still so many men who still try to give the woman as less money as possible. If I hear the stories of my dad it sometimes sickens me how these men behave. Also it also happens more than you think that the woman earns more than the man.
    Although where I do agree with is lowering the alimony if the person who takes care of the children the most has an income/rise in income.

  • ImmaCatchYou

    This is actually... great :D I've also thought about these things. Glad to see (especially) a female step up to discuss this!

  • princesssangre

    Lol this was supposed to be funny? I do not find it funny. And why do you block people just because they do not agree with you? Why even write mytakes if you are going to be super sensitive and butthurt and block everyone who disagrees. It's like you expect everyone to suck up to you. Lmao

    • Just because someone disagrees does not make them ignorant nor does it give you the right to insult them. All you do is comment and block people just so you can get the last word because you don't have a logical argument to back things up. There are mature ways of handling opposing views

    • @vampireempress she sees any mature opposing view as a threat.

    • @maskedsanity
      If she blocks you you win, don't disagree with her though or she will block you just like she does on all her mytakes and questions

    • Show All
  • guy48

    Wish more women shared your train of thought... equality in all... them be equals,,,,, or akniwledge the difference and don't crib about not being given equality... i mean ,,,,,, I think I didn't put the words right but,,,,, I mean,,,, equality should be EQUAL... Discrimination against guys is something people never aknowledge. thank you miss.

  • Bluemax

    About men paying for dates. I have noticed a correlation; the hotter the woman, the less likely she will be paying. For the record, I really don't mind paying for the first date.

  • RainbowFanGirl

    Great take! Mens issues are usually looked over. It's nice to see someone who finally notices them! :)

  • Octavius

    You don't need to say sorry. You do your best to help everyone. Can't ask anyone for anything more.

  • alfonsosloan45

    (crying) I love you. That's all I ever wanted to hear.

  • SirSmith

    Yes' well my first wife commenced most of the violence that occurred around the place.
    My 2nd may not be any angel, but she hasn't hit me in over 30 years of marriage

  • Bookwik

    I'm quite glad you identified yourself as an egalitarian, you believe everyone deserves a fair life. Greatest respect to you.

  • Hans222

    Wow, I love this take. You're absolutely right all the way. Good job :D

  • Bandit74

    This was very refreshing to hear from a girls perspective.

    On the topic of hitting, I think a better example than the bear would be this...

    The main argument for why its unacceptable to even slap a woman is the size difference. However, if there's a size difference between two men and the smaller one initiates, most people won't sympathize with him.

    I'm 5'9 and 150lbs, if I went up to a guy was 6' 2" 220lbs and started verbal taunting him or slapped him in the face, most people would say I had it coming if he knocks me on my ass.

    What really irritates me is I see videos where a guy will say one offensive thing to a girl and they will slap him or throw their drink in his face and the comments will be like "oh he totally deserved it"

    But when a girl is insulting a guy, he is supposed to just take it :/

    • Jbbhaze449

      I've always felt the size inequality thing should be a greater issue than gender difference. Personally I was raised to fight back against anyone trying to hurt me, even if it's a girl. But never hurt a person you're able to easily overpower without danger to yourself, man or woman.

  • Agrojag

    Really good take. I like that you acknowledge there are two sides of the story.

  • heavensgift2girls

    I really appreciate this take. I wish more woman were able to show they are sensitive to the issues that concern men. Out of all of those problems you listed I really think the one that bothers me the most is "be a man". That one phrase can shame us for any feeling, goal, or sense of morality that the other person doesn't share and it gets used in one form or another all the time. It even gets used to try and get us to do stupid and dangerous things.

    The terms "be a man", "real man", or "man up", are often used to shame guys. I often see it used in arguments where the man shows insecurity, and therefore is at fault. Since a real man should get over his insecurity even though all human's have insecurities that should be respected.

  • KDA20

    I agree with your take a 100 per cent - I will split your take in half, the dinner and "Man Up" approach are attitudes and I think we are in a transitional mode along with all the other traditional roles it will take time but we will get there maybe sooner than you think for example when I was growing up in the 1970s and 1980s my family and every one of my friends' family had same dynamic a working father and a stay at home mom. Now everyone of my friends in a relationship is part of a dual income household even with a good few where the female earns more than the male - The second probably more serious half male rape and domestic violence. I would even add in other issues that have been enveloped in sweeping assumptions, my own personal belief is to take a step back and exam each case as it happens as an independent event then come to a conclusion before deciding how to continue. Nothing frightens me more in a social issue debate than the implication that "All blank is right/wrong"

  • Prochnost

    Canadian - 1
    Opinion Owner - 0

    I never forgotten how much I adore Canadians, and their way of thinking.
    Glorious take ! MORE! bwahahahahah !

  • Frost_Byt3

    Well I'm glad to see that at least not all women are completely ignorant and oblivious to what is happening to men around them. That's refreshing.

  • ThatJarHead

    I agree with you on this largely. Sexism has largely turned from men - women to women - men. Sexism goes both ways but it's reared its ugly head in the other direction. Because social normalities, gender roles, and social standards men are largely considered "Gay" if they aren't following stereotypes. This is why men just submit. More men and boys commit suicide in their early years than girls because of emotional bottling. I find that guys/men/boys have a reason to opt out more often than girls/women. The most common high school suicide you see from girls is bullying. You can call it body shaming fat shaming or whatever but it's bullying and it's a first world problem. The most common one you see from guys in high school is "If this is what being a man is I quit" or "I just couldn't take it anymore" that says a lot about this topic.

    Someone had to say it.
    Or else it would go Unspoken.

    • Lolomon

      A former psychology major here, the emotional brain on a man is much smaller than a woman. And men have more mental illness than a woman. Women can deal with more emotional and physical pain than men.

  • gysport392

    Also, guys are just assumed to be homophobic, whereas women are all assumed to be bisexually curious...

  • Mesonfielde

    This is actually a great take. I don't and can't disagree with anything said. Well done.

  • paestejo


    Women are like chameleons, who change color based on their environment. Expect more and more women to do the same as the oppression of men comes into light (thanks to efforts of men).

    Don't forget how every woman denied you your humanity when you initially started asking for equality. It's only NOW that our numbers are more, that they are succumbing.

    But make no mistake, they are STILL the same women. And I bet the author doesn't support true equality... 100%

    • paestejo

      They'll do anything to save their skin and feign innocence.

    • Saletri

      Lol i find hilarious. So not going to down your answer

    • This is hilarious up vote from me

    • Show All
  • Keepitreal8807

    This was very well put! It seems too one sided these days even though there is supposed to be equality.

  • ObscuredBeyond

    You forgot to mention reverse-harassment: A woman comes on to a man, makes him believe they are friends, then waits for him to contact her. The minute he does, to verify that she actually means what she said earlier, she turns around and bad mouths him to an authority figure.

    Increasingly, the man is given very little opportunity at self-defense. He is penalized as if guilty, even if no one will substantiate exactly what he's being accused of. He is given no recourse for the damage done to him by her treachery.

    Workplaces claim this makes things "fair," and "safe." Crock of crap. It means women can say anything they want to destroy a male coworker, with no penalty for defamation unless he gets a lawyer. This makes me boil inside.

  • mrsingle

    Excellent article you nailed it! Can I marry you for being SO understanding? 👍