It’s about time I make a take for the guys. I’m an egalitarian as you know and I feel that there needs to be more representation for the sexism that men face in our society today along with the unfair social expectations and standards that are placed against them. I know a lot of people don’t want these issues acknowledged (either because they don’t agree or are afraid that it will belittle the feminist progress) but I don’t care, because I feel somebody needs to say something about it. SO, here is a list of sexist/social bullhonkey that men have to deal with, from the perspective of the woman.
Disclaimer: Ladies, I’m not trashing you or trying to be rude to anyone in particular. If you see me mention women at all, know its very specific kinds of women, not women as a whole. Also keep in mind my humor is super dry and crude so if you are easily offended I advise you don’t partake in this take.
Equality for all! … But pay for my food.
Okay, obviously fewer women are like this now, but there are still women out there who have the expectation that if a guy asks them out that they absolutely must pay for the date. Any time I ask them why, there’s a few common responses:
- Because that’s how they were raised/they’re “traditional” that way
- Because the one who invites pays
- Because he makes more money
I’m sorry but I think that isn’t fair. You’re traditional, eh? So you’re going to take his hat, coat, make him dinner, be a stay at home wife and care for your kids while he beats you with a stick no wider than his thumb? Okay, clearly that’s an exaggeration (forgive my humor), but I’m sure you understand what I mean. If you want to be traditional, that’s fine, but don’t pick and choose which traditional concepts that suit you while ignoring others because they’re “sexist.”
The one who invites pays? Last time I checked, if my friends invite me out to dinner or the bar, they aren’t paying for me; it’s BYOS – BUY YOUR OWN SHIT. I don’t care if it’s a date, it isn’t mandatory for a man to wine and dine you while footing the bill, especially if you two don’t work out. You should at least offer to split the bill for the sake of courtesy. And if he still pays, appreciate how unbelievably kind that gesture is, because in most places the economy is shit, even for people who make a decent living.
He makes more money than you, okay, I understand this somewhat. I still don’t believe that means he should foot the bill every time, I think this means you two should try going on dates that don’t cost a bunch of money. It's a little self entitled to think that because you make less that he has to take you on dates and pay for everything.
Men CAN’T Get Raped
I intend to make an entire take devoted to this because this literally kills me inside. There is still the social stigma that a man cannot be raped by anybody other than another man. This isn’t true.
A woman can very much rape a man and it very well may be more common than we know, because the whole concept is not only shamed, but it’s treated with the air of “It simply doesn’t exist, period.” “If he was ‘raped’ he would have had to be erect, so he obviously enjoyed it.”
So if a woman is forced to orgasm or unintentionally orgasms while she’s being violently raped, it’s no longer rape. Do we see how ridiculous that is?
Of course it’s still rape, it’s still horrible, deplorable, and an absolute disgusting injustice regardless of gender. No one should be the subject to rape, and it still kills me that women are rape shamed, yet it’s just so normal to rape shame men in the event that he is not a child who was taken advantage of by another man. I’m not going to say that the man-to-woman rape ratio isn’t higher, that’s not my point; my point is, is that men who have been sexually assaulted by a woman have little to no resources. Here’s an example: Trent University in Oshawa Ontario offers a program where they assist the victims or familiars of the victim of rape … but they do not offer these services to male students. They simply offer to “find them alternative resources.” What, what?! Do you know how that can deter people? It’s hard enough to talk about such an awful thing as it is, but now you can’t go to a place where you’re safe and comfortable for help because the staff only knows how to deal with one gender’s issues?
That just isn’t fair.
Lose Your Wife & Half of Your Life
If a man is in better financial standing than his wife and they divorce, she gets half of his stuff, more often than not. I’ve read so many news articles where a woman (without a job) left with half of her husband’s multibillion-dollar company when they divorced, and her justification is was that she “Helped him by providing him emotional support.” I wish I could find this article to show you.
Honestly this gets me so fired up that I feel I should just refer you to my man Chris Rock.
I’m sorry to every newly single mother, and I 100% believe that when you divorce that your ex husband should make sure his children are cared for. What I don’t agree with is that he stands to lose so much when there is no right for a woman to take it. If you didn’t found that company, earn that money, or buy that car – in my opinion it doesn’t belong to you. Making sure your kids have a home and have what they need? Absolutely he should make sure that happens – but it’s also the mother’s responsibility to get a job to contribute.
I watched my dad go through this, so needless to say, I feel passionate about the subject. I get that things are slowly getting better but it needs a lot of work still
BE A MAN!
This one actually kind of breaks my heart a little. Listen, I get the whole “be a man” deal; men are raised to be strong, a lot of them encouraged by their hardened fathers to be providers, protectors, and emotionally stable. I have no issue with people who have a desire to “be a man” about things. What I don’t agree with is that this phrase is used to belittle men who show emotion or who break away from the social norm of behavior, and that the prospect of a man being sensitive and emotional is deemed unattractive and unmanly by many people.
How many of you have been told to man up when you just wanted to cry? How many of you have had a girl tell you that you’re not a man because you didn’t do X, Y, and Z for her? How many of you have heard that another guy is “more of a man” than you? It’s sexist to say one woman is more womanly than the other (it could be related to sexism, body shaming, etc) but nobody has an issue throwing this term around.
Domestic Dispute - You CAN NEVER HIT A WOMAN!
I think this is a pile of bullshit. Half of domestic abuse victims are men, yet we still hold the standard that men, under no circumstance, can hit a woman.
Call me what you want but I believe in "eye for an eye." If you hit a guy, there is no reason why he shouldn't have the right to hit you back. But people argue the size difference. Yet, we also argue that women shouldn't be discriminated against when applying for physically laborous jobs such as fire fighting - but you can't slap her back if she slaps you, she's a woman. You're biologically proven to be bigger and stronger, so if there's a domestic dispute, you can't defend yourself.
"There's no reason to a hit a woman."
Yes, there is actually. Self defense is a perfectly good time to hit a woman. If a woman is clawing, hitting, punching, slapping, there's no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to drop her to the ground with one punch. The reason it's frowned upon is because people still hold the idea that the man - who is typically bigger - can "take" it, but the woman - who is smaller - simply can't because she's fragile, and a woman. Did I mention she's a woman?
You don't have the right to beat the shit out of a woman, or anyone for that matter. What's fair and what's self defense needs to be treated that way, not as a "kick the shit out of you for free" card.
If you get slapped by some chick, I'm not suggesting you engage in a full out brawl with her, though I personally feel it's fair to slap someone back - you just don't do it because it's not legal. It would be the bigger thing to do to walk away, but what I don't agree with is the idea that under no circumstances can he fight back. If he pushes her away, or leaves a bruise, he is in trouble, HE has the social biased of being a man who is bigger than the woman who attacked him so he could be the one facing charges even if she instigated the fight by throwing a hit first.
Let me put it to you this way: if I go up to a bear - a trained bear, a docile bear - and start edging it on, taunting it, and hitting it, NO ONE will feel sorry for me if it turns around sucker-paws me in the head. Because I was the one instigating and hitting it. Why is it that just because he's a man and she's a woman that he can't defend himself? It's stupid to me, I'm sorry.
Things have gotten better in this field as well, but I don't feel it's completely equal and unbiased yet.
I’m sorry you guys have to put up with this. I really am.
That’s all I’m going to write for this one. I’m sure I’m going to piss off a lot of people with this take but I felt it needed to be said so if people want to get angry it’s their right to feel that way. But my opinion won’t change.
Have a good one everybody.