The reason I am writing this MyTake is to prevent people from cheating and to show them how it can affect someone. I am also writing this for anyone who is dating someone who has been cheated on in the past to try and help them understand what that person has gone through, and why they may worry in the relationship.
Personally I think that if you are in a relationship with someone but would rather be with someone else, you should break up with that person before persuing another.
I was cheated on myself and I can tell you: It is not a nice feeling and can also affect relationships you are in after this.
So.. On with my story:
Last year I met this boy who I seemed to get on well with straight away! I found out pretty fast he had a crush on me and thought he seemed like a nice guy, I just wanted to get to know him more before being official boyfriend and girlfriend. There was a problem though, I found out that he was 16 and I was 18 so felt a bit uncomfortable with that. I remember telling him this and he told me he didn't care about the age gap but respected whatever decision I made. I spoke to my Mum about it and he was turning 17 in 2-3 months so she told me maybe I should just wait until he's 17. He seemed to be fine with this so I thought all was well. To be honest, we did pretty much act like a couple anyway - Talking on Facebook all day, he would text me when I was at college, we would hug, hold hands and kiss on the cheek etc. He would tell me he loved me, tell all his friends and family about me and even had a picture of me as his phone screen saver. I thought he really cared about me.
He had upset me one night though, by saying something about not being good at waiting for people and worrying that if we didn't go out soon, someone might play their tricks on him and then he'll end up with them instead. We almost called the whole thing off but then he changed his mind and told me he loved me, he would wait for me and that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and so why would he leave me. The next day he apologized again about upsetting me and kept saying he loved me. My friend convinced me I was being harsh with my replies and should forgive him so I did and things seemed fine again. I remember the next day when I saw him and I'd worried that he and my friend were flirting and he assured me that he wouldn't leave me because he thought I was beautiful and I'd helped him with his depression and he felt a lot happier since he'd been with me, besides, if he liked my friend he wouldn't hug and kiss me infront of her. I calmed down then and again, things seemed o be fine.
Until of course, a week or two later. I was out at the park with him and he'd mentioned a girl who he had spoke to on Skype once for 4 hours. I was not happy about this but didn't mention anything because A.) I had got jealous last time and he had reassured me and B.) He was bisexual which would mean I would have to be just as worried if this was a boy he had spoke too, and that would mean he wouldn't be allowed any friends, which is ridiculous. He told me he was busy Saturday (which was the day we'd usually meet up) so I thought maybe we'd do something Sunday, but then he mentioned he was seeing that girl on Sunday.
That following evening, she called him and he didn't reply back to me which meant they must've spoke most the night. I was not happy to say the least. He didn't even say sorry when he messaged me the next morning and then I had to wait a long time for a reply when I messaged back. He apologized and told me his friend had called again. I told him I'd guessed. He told me they had spent a lot of time together lately. I told him I'd noticed. He put lol. I got mad at this point and just put K. He asked me what was wrong and I just put "Worries" When he asked me what worries I actually almost apologized for my trust issues and jealousy, but before I finished typing, I noticed he'd started typing so wanted to see what he had to say. He admitted he was seeing somebody as he couldn't wait for me and wasn't even going to tell me.
Well, first I felt angry, then embarrassed, then sad and betrayed, but most of all, I was dissapointed. This was a guy who I had been loyal too - The end of the week before we met, I found out a cute guy in my class liked me but because I was with this guy, I did not try to flirt or in any way try to persue the other guy. I also had a male friend who I would sometimes Skype but when I was seeing that guy, I decided not to Skype him seeing as though I wouldn't like it if he skyped other girls (Yet that's exactly what he did).
I remember when he was worrying and I told him I would go out with him when he was 17 and promised not to go off with anyone else in the mean time and he promised he wouldn't either. Only one of us kept our word.
I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to sleep and I felt like utter crap for days.
Oh he came running back to me weeks later but I wouldn't have him, I'd started speaking to my friend on Skype again, we became closer and I got a massive crush on him. That's my boyfriend now and I am long since over the other guy, but not what he did to me.
You see, I keep worrying about it happening again. My current boyfriend doesn't seem like the kind of guy to cheat but I don't fully trust anyone. I panic and have even cried in the past when I see him online on Skype in fear of him talking to other girls, my heart fills with anxiety every time he mentions a girl he is friends with or when he is slow with replies in case he is busy with another girl. Heck, I even panic when he is online on Facebook before I am in case he is speaking to another girl when he could just be talking to a male friend or innocently scrolling through his newsfeed! I know it is ridiculous but I just can't seem to help it and he is always having to reassure me.
I am living in the constant fear that he will do the same thing or like another girl but not break up with me. I am constantly anxious and upset because I feel I am not good enough, I feel someone will always be better than me and so I will be left, replaced, ignored or cheated. It's not just my (shall we call him ex boyfriend?) that has made me feel like this, it is other people too but he has contributed to it. I once asked myself what I would do if my current boyfriend ever cheated on me, and my brain immediately responded with "I'd cut myself". This scared me. I am usually not at all the sort of person to think like that, I am so against self harm and I am not trying to get attention, this is just what my brain responded with.
Please. PLEASE. Don't cheat on anyone. Break up with them first before persuing anyone else because it can damage a person greatly. Think about how you would feel if someone did that to you.If you are unsure if something is cheating, ask yourself if you would be comfortable with your partner doing it and you will have your answer.
Thank you for reading as I know this is long and I am sorry for any grammar mistakes I made.
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