How to Get Over Being Cheated On

[Pinay_ako]

You just found out the love of your life cheated on you.

After years or months of being together exclusively, you did not see this coming. All you knew all along they were loyal and faithful to you telling you I love you's, declaring their unwavering love and devotion to you. Then one day, BOOM! You find out they cheated on you.

It doesn't matter how you found out or what their reasons are for going astray, it doesn't change the fact, they broke you down.

You had plans with this person thinking they are the ONE. They made you happy. They completed you.

Now they're the ones tearing your heart into shreds. How ironic love is. The reason of your happiness is also the reason of your tears...

How do you go on from this? How do you go from loving this person to cutting them off completely to forget the pain they caused you?

I was cheated on too. I found out from a friend that my then boyfriend was pursuing this other girl.

I was reeling from shock that he did this to me... I thought I was not going to be able to get over him. I LOVED HIM.

But I did. Here are some ways to get over being cheated on:

1. Confront them.

I had to get the facts straight from my then boyfriend and the other girl. Yes I had to meet the other girl to confirm the affair. I owed it to myself the truth before finally cutting him off out of my life.

2. Accept.

There is no denying he cheated on me. He was unfaithful to me. Did things for another person other than myself. Even had feelings for the other person. Once you accepted the truth, you're on the road to recovery. This is the hardest part, accepting that it happened.

3. Forgive them.

I forgave him although it wasn't easy but I had to let him go. I need to forgive him so I can free myself from the burden of him in my life.

4. Let them go.

Although I still deeply loved him, we were together for almost 3 years, I had to let him go. No matter the reason or circumstances are, holding on to someone who betrayed you is more hurtful than letting him go.

5. Cry it out.

Cry as long as you want. Let the sadness, rejection, abandonment, heartbreak escape your system through your eyes... Your heart will thank you later. Once you have cried enough, you will feel better and see the world with a clear vision of a better future ahead.

6. Do not shut yourself from the world.

Just because one person betrayed you doesn't mean the world has turned its back on you. You have your family and friends who are there for you to love you and be there for you. Go out with them, have fun with them and spend lots of time being around them. Before you know it, you are being yourself again.

7. Keep going.

Keep busy. Do what you love. Have goals. Having a lovelife right away is not one of them. Work on yourself.

8. Meet new people.

Do not force yourself to be back on the dating scene if you are not ready yet. Definitely do not jump into a rebound relationship. It will only suck for both you and the new person. It's also unfair to drag some innocent person who only wants to love you into your world of broken heart and still hung up on my ex situation. Meeting new people can be joining groups who have common interests with you and make new friends. When the time is right, love will be just around the corner...

9. Give love another try.

One day, unexpectedly, you will meet someone who will bring the sparks of love back into your eyes and warmth into your heart. Do not hold yourself back but do not rush either. Get to know this amazing new person who only wants to love you. Just let it happen.

10. Be proud of yourself.

Some time ago, you thought you will never ever get over that one person who was once the love of your life. You thought it was the end of your life. But no, look at you right now. Standing strong and loving life. You survived one of the most heartbreaking times of your life. You did it!

Always remember whenever you are feeling down, heartbroken, betrayed and abandoned... This is just temporary. Like what Eric Draven said in The Crow, "It can't rain all the time." It shall pass. You will get over this.

One day, out of the blue, they might crawl back into your life for whatever reason, that will be all up to you how to act. Just remember all the steps you had to take to get to where you are now, strong and proud. Do not let them take you back to square one. Just saying...

Thanks for the time reading.

XOXO Pinay_Ako

[ObscuredBeyond]

Problem is that the betrayal isn't always with a partner. Sometimes, it's with a THING. Or, with some idea or behavior or practice that they kept hidden from you. The entire time you knew them, online or offline, they were kittenfishing up the gazoo. Their entire image is a massive con game!

Someone being fake can be almost as destructive as a physical cheater. Sometimes more. And while a cheater will usually walk away ashamed of being caught, con artists get dangerous when they're busted. They may even try to extort you or ruin your life out of revenge for figuring them out. You have dirt on them; they find dirt on you. They hold you hostage until they know you won't expose them to anyone else.

It's not so much that I'm all that bothered by girls who can't keep their legs closed. That's the easy thing to move on from. It's constantly running into crooks and crazies that's got me afraid to open up to love again.

You can't be open to love if you are convinced in the back of your mind that every woman smiling at you is secretly plotting to frame you as a rapist or tie you to the bed and burn the house down with you inside. Or infect you with AIDS on purpose. Or steal your wallet and finance some terrorist operation with your debit card.

[TellMeWhatYouKnowPlz]

Any person could do this, girls are just as afraid as guys

[somewheresomeway]

I have never been knowingly cheated on. I cheated on my first girlfriend in HS and made a vow to never do it again. Now almost 20 years later I kept it.

However there was one special girlfriend I had years ago that I'm very suspicious that they cheated on me the week or two before we split up. I know she met a guy at her new job that she liked.

Just wondering, would it be worth knowing if she did this? I think she mentally checked out on me, spread her legs for him and then used that as justification to call it quits on me. However I never asked her nor did she confess it.

[ariadneR]

Finding out that you were cheated on shatters every bone in your body, specially when they were the sun moon, and all of your stars. Just like you said you can't wallow in misery, you have to get back on your feet. sure these things take time, and thats what you have to remember. You can't expect to feel fine the next day.
Thing is, you can't offer this advice to people, scream it high from the mountaintops, but it doesn't mean that they will listen, and sometimes you have to let them make their own mistakes.

[Browneye57]

The proud thing is a fail. You got nothing to be proud of. Try humility first.

Although one cannot blame the cheating victim, there is usually culpability.
Happy couples in love don't cheat. You just weren't paying close enough attention to your relationship, your partner - that's really why you didn't see it coming.

More happy stats...
75% of LTR's endure some kind of infidelity
75% of divorces are initiated by women
Cheating runs 50-50 between genders, but women are better liars so the stats are skewed to men.

Many LTR's survive and improve after infidelity is resolved.

[Lance1965]

Cheating is a horrible thing to go through especially if you thought of that person as the 'love of your life' and 'your one and only.' I waited till I was 41 to be married because I finally found what I thought was the love of my life and she turned out to be biggest cheater I have ever been with. I didn't see it coming because we had a very active sex life and we were always telling each other I love you. When I found out I was crushed and it was totally unexpected.

[PIGVOMIT72]

I'm right there with you. I too am 41. This has been my weekend.

[xXSaturnXx]

I think it depends on how long we'd have been going out. If its a new-ish relationship and he cheated then na, no second chances, but if my current man was to cheat on me he'd get one chance and that's it! He won't though I trust him lol

[drayday4]

I found out years later that I was cheated on in the very beginning of our relationship including some very significant dates that made me want to be with her I never got over it it still fucks with me

[bailey11]

Please do yourself a favor, please don't take it out on all women from now on. Just because one woman has hurt you, that doesn't mean all women act like that. There are a lot of loving, faithful women who would never cheat on her man. You owe it to yourself to leave yourself open to finding these women - it's where you can find real happiness. And who doesn't want to be happy? 😉

[drayday4]

@bailey11 I doubt I will ever trust or believe a women like I did with her

[worldscolide]

Simple.. One step.. Accept what happened and move on.

[Pinay_ako]

easier said than done... But people go through different stages before moving on

[worldscolide]

no disagreement. I prefer to cut the middle man out. and just move on my self. I can choose to be hurt and dwell on it, or i can choose to forget the person that cheated on me ever existed.

[Pinay_ako]

My cousin is going through this right now and I am doing my best to help her out. But she is stuck at #1 only. She can't or hasn't accepted the fact her man already confessed to her and she already met the other woman... So I was telling her, acceptance is the way to be able to finally slowly move on. Without acceptance, you can't really let go either

[worldscolide]

Yeah that sucks..

[RobertoBaggio]

The best response would be to walk away and accept what has happened and move on.

But I am not like that... So I filmed me sleeping with her older sister and called truces.

[Lovi87]

I'd forgive him ONCE and once only. If he did it again? he'd be gone. Once can be a mistake but after that? no chance.

[Under_Maps_OF_twigs]

It's only cheating if you're married. If you aren't married, then you aren't to have sex to start with. We are not under any clause to be with anybody if we are single so it can't be cheating. SIngle people don't belong to others in a unionship type love.

Go about and down vote this but I guarantee most wusses won't stand up to it. Most will down vote, yet won't reply.

[BillieJean1070]

If it ever happens, he better make it up to me big time.

[Jack_L_andTurn]

Recognize the cheater for the selfish POS he or she is.

[Kelly6]

I would forgive him, and do my best to keep us together

[Marinepilot]

Pinay_AKO I had the same thing happen years ago. I set her up in a coke
and beat his ass badly. He was in the hospital for a month. I'm pure gangster. Third generation Mafia.

[Pejtu]

the person tha is cheating has no respect for themselfes
either the partner he or she is with
karma comes back sooner or later...

[Davionnawhatup]

I’ll takw your advice if I ever get cheated on

[dannyrose]

9 times out of 10 its the women's fault so I will go to the logical response WHAT DID YOU DO?

[bailey11]

Dude, no!! You've got it backwards! I think it's safer to say it's often (maybe even mostly) the guy's fault. A lot of guys just want to blame the woman - possibly one of the reasons she's not with him anymore!

[dannyrose]

@bailey11

HAHAHAHAHA

hypergamy is rampent
and you blame the men

that's how blind you are
mgtow shows what's going on
so most of the time IT'S THE WOMENS FAULT

[JennieF]

I do what's best for the kids.

[eagle1951]

find someone that won't

[Jquesi]

very good!

[hammeronfire]

no im not forgiving her i refuse

[Secretgardenblood]

Great Mytake