Gender Roles Suck

[AldaineLuc]

Hi! SO basically what I want to write about is how I think gender roles shouldn't be so hard locked into society and how men shouldn't feel embarresed or "less of a man" to let a women should I say take the lead in a relationship because of people like me that I would describe as very assertive in a relationship. Most guys I was interested in just were either intimidated by my personality or just not into girls that didn't act "like a women should" in a relationship which by today's standards usually means letting the man have control and being in sort of a more supporting role. I have always liked having that control and liked the idea of a guy being in a supporting role while I take charge MOST of the time. Now I don't want poeple to think I am this bitch that wants to put men down that is not at all the case; I respect men and am not out to immasculate them in any way this is just what I like and have always liked. Aside from this I am a pretty active and girly type of girl.

I want to tell my story about how I met my current partner and how he and I handle this relationship to give more persective on how women like me are. So I am in college 4th year currently and met him in my 2nd year and he was a freshmen. Right off the bat when I first saw him I knew he was the less assertive type which I was interested in but at first I was unsure how to handle talking to him because he was at the time being harrassed by a frat and several girls that probably didn't have much else to do for fun which was sad in itself. Anyway, I wanted to help him because I know how bad bullying can be but one day he stood up for himself and pretty much told this big frat dude off which suprised me a little and it made me happy at the same time which I think was what really made me fall for him.

However, it didn't solve his problems and he was harrassed more and more at the same spots each day by the same people so I just decided to do something and I just went over there and pretty much verbally abused the bullies until they just left. At first I was really embarresed about it because I was afriad that I had just immascualted my crush and he would never like me back. To my surprise he thanked me and asked me for my name completely ignoring the gender roles for a moment acting like it was natural for a girl to play the hero and the guy to be the damsel in distess. So within a couple weeks we started dating which I pretty much flat out asked him if he wanted to have dinner with me one day and he seemed to be relieved I was acting the way I was which made me very happy.

I asked him about his past relationships and he mentioned one other girl he liked and was with for a time but ultimately didn't work out because according to her he "wasnt man enough" it put a tear to my eye how somebody could be so sweet and be treated like he's less of a man only because he isn't the sterotypical male in a relationship.

So for a summary, I don't think women should treat men who may not act like what we expect a man should act like in a relationship differently than somebody who does. As long as he's at least a bit confident and has the same desirable qualities any other guy has he is just as much manly as any other guy! Also guys shouldn't feel bad about it either there are women who perfer to have the gender roles reversed in relationships maybe not common but they exist. Thanks for reading!

[JRICHARDS1996]

I agree but only to an extent. I agree in that gender roles should not be so stringently enforced and that it is shallow to judge someone's masculinity or femininity based solely on trivial anomalies like being shyer or more leading. However, I do believe that in the end traditional gender roles and patriarchy are the most beneficial, efficient ways of being for our society, and that they are rooted in biology. Hence why virtually every society across the globe has practiced them at one point or another until relatively recent times. That's not to say that the old way wasn't/isn't prone to its abuses (such as the ones you pointed out), but just that in the end it is still the best, even despite its flaws. Furthermore, just look at how lousy things got with the destruction of patriarchy and traditional gender roles. A massive divorce rate, the destruction of the family unit, single-parent households, STDs, and utter confusion what with the contradictory LGBT rhetoric.

[notenough]

he's right everyone is fucking dumb

[HunterGuy15]

Most girls, including feminists, don't like manginas or sissy guys. Telling men to "stop conforming to their gender norm" is basically telling them to go gay or telling them to give up trying to get laid by women, because women are not interested in manginas or sissies.

"Stop conforming to the gender norm" is the clarion call of garish feminists who want to have as much sex as they want, with who ever they want, and have no consequences for it.

[Botchie]

I hate how true this is.

[Anonymous]

Nice take. That's fine by me. She can have all the control she wants but down the road there are two gender roles that I won't negotiate on. I want my wife at home with the kids or working part time.( this doesn't mean she needs to cook and clean everything ) I just want a close family. That implys having kids which I also want.