In life, there are always going to be people who you dislike or even hate. And with those feelings comes along the realization that there are some people out there who hate you. Sometimes there is a reason, but other times, they just don't like you. I know that this is typical of the "high school drama", but these feelings make there way into the adult mind as well. Here are some tips and scenarios that will help you out of a sticky situation when it comes to people that you don't like and people who don't like you.
What should I do when I am forced to work with someone who I don't like?
Whether this person is a classmate or a co-worker, at some point, you will probably have to work with them. When this happens, there are probably a lot of negative thoughts going through your mind. Why ME? Ugh. I hate them! Why do I have to be the one to work with them? Couldn't they just find someone else? Ugh! The key to getting over these feelings temporarily is to distract yourself. Get involved in the work and speak with them as little as possible to avoid conflict. In the following text, you will see two scenarios: In Scenerio One, our character, Melanie, handles the situation the wrong way. In Scenario Two, Melanie handles the situation correctly.
SCENARIO ONE
Melanie arrived at work at 7:00, just like she does every day. This time, instead of being greeted cheerfully by her usual partner, she walks in to the sight of Rebecca. Her boss comes in. "Good morning Melanie! Meet your new partner. Rebecca Phillips got promoted. Now, she will be working beside you. I'm sure that the two of you will do great things for our company! I can already feel a friendship starting to form." All Melanie felt was anxiety. She and Rebecca had hated each other since grade school. Ugh! I hate her! Why do I have to work with her? I miss my old partner! Rebecca comes up to Melanie.
"Don't think that I'm going to enjoy this."
"Oh, I'm not either."
"Let's just start coming up with ideas."
"Oh, no." Mealnie says, coming on a little bit too strong. "I'm so f**king done with you. You're such a b**ch. I could never forgive you after what you did. I refuse to work with you until we get this resolved."
"Fine. If you want to be that way, then we don't have to work. We'll take all day if we have to." Rebacca smirks, knowing that Melanie will give in.
A fight starts, and Melanie and Rebecca both end up getting fired because of how childish they acted.
SCENARIO TWO
Melanie arrived at work at 7:00, just like she does every day. This time, instead of being greeted cheerfully by her usual partner, she walks in to the sight of Rebecca. Her boss comes in. "Good morning Melanie! Meet your new partner. Rebecca Phillips got promoted. Now, she will be working beside you. I'm sure that the two of you will do great things for our company! I can already feel a friendship starting to form." All Melanie felt was anxiety. She and Rebecca had hated each other since grade school. She started to take deep breaths, knowing that if she says anything, a fight will start. Rebecca comes up to her.
"Don't think that I'm going to enjoy this," Rebecca says.
Melanie remembers that nothing bad will happen if she just gets to work. "Let's just work."
For the rest of the day, Melanie ignores Rebecca. They work individually. A few times, they are forced to bounce ideas back and forth. When this happens, Melanie just sticks to talking about the work. Nothing bad happens, because Melanie keeps her feelings contained until she gets home. She knows that if she really needs to let her feelings out, she can go and talk to a therapist.
TIPS SEEN IN THE SCENARIOS
Here is what we learned from Scenario One.
1. If they come up to you and try to start a fight, don't continue the conversation.
2. Don't try to start a fight.
3. Don't listen to your negative thoughts.
Here is what we learned from Scenario Two.
1. Change the topic of the conversation to your work whenever it is possible.
2. Take deep breaths.
3. Only speak to them when it is necessary. Avoid talking when possible.
4. If you feel strong hatred towards this person and you feel the need to talk about it, speak with a family member or a therapist.
What if we have a mutual friend?
Having a mutual friend can be tough, especially when it comes to parties and events. If you and the person who you don't like have a mutual friend, there is only so much you can do. Chances are, you will end up and the same party or event at some point. In the following text, you will see two scenarios: In Scenerio One, our character, Melanie, handles the situation the wrong way. In Scenario Two, Melanie handles the situation correctly.
SCENARIO ONE
Melanie opens her mailbox and finds an invitation to her a party. It says, Jessica's 24th Birthday. It is getting held at a fancy, formal restaurant. Melanie has always loved formal events. She can't wait to go!
A few days later, the big day comes. Melanie arrives at the restaurant carrying a perfectly-wrapped present. Jessica greets her.
"Hey, Melanie! It's so nice to see you!"
"You too! Happy birthday!"
"And this is my friend, Lauren."
"Hi!" Melanie says enthusiastically.
"And this is Rebecca."
Ugh. Why does Rebecca have to be here? Melanie thinks.
Melanie and Rebecca just stare at each other, until Melanie pushes Rebecca a little too hard and she falls, crashing into one of the tables.
"Oh, you want to start a fight!?" Rebecca brushes herself off, barely removing the pasta sauce from her clean, white dress.
SCENARIO TWO
Melanie opens her mailbox and finds an invitation to her a party. It says, Jessica's 24th Birthday. It is getting held at a fancy, formal restaurant. Melanie has always loved formal events. She can't wait to go!
A few days later, the big day comes. Melanie arrives at the restaurant carrying a perfectly-wrapped present. Jessica greets her.
"Hey, Melanie! It's so nice to see you!"
"You too! Happy birthday!"
"And this is my friend, Lauren."
"Hi!" Melanie says enthusiastically.
"And this is Rebecca."
Ugh. Why does Rebecca have to be here? Melanie thinks.
Melanie pulls Jessica aside and explains her relationship with Rebecca and how something happened when they were younger. Jessica understands and agrees that Melanie and Rebecca should not sit near each other.
Everything ends well. Melanie sat on one end of the table, while Rebecca sat all the way on the other end. All is well that ends well.
TIPS SEEN IN THE SCENARIOS
Here is what we learned from Scenario One.
1. Don't try to start a fight.
2. Physical (or even verbal) violence is NEVER the answer.
Here is what we learned from Scenario Two.
1. Talk to your mutual friend and explain that you and this person don't like each other.
2. Avoid contact with the person you don't like.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are many ways to handle being around people you don't like. In the scenarios, we learned many different ways to handle these people. I hope this myTake helped you!
-Catalie
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