Why Long-Term Monogamy Wins Out In The Modern World

[Anonymous]

1. The male to female ratio is about equal. If males outnumber females, then you may face a potential marriage crisis in the future, as it is currently happening in India and China. Many single men just can't find, let alone afford a wife, literally. Plus, marriage usually means getting past the woman's parents. If females outnumber males, then you still may face a marriage crisis, as it is currently happening in developed countries where females outnumber males in higher education and don't want to marry a man who has lower education or earns less money than they do. This "marriage crisis" takes on a different flavor, which is expressed on Tinder (the social-networking dating app). When women are fewer, men have to compete for the women, and this leads to more romantic relationships. When men are fewer, women have to compete for men, and this leads to more sexual relationships (hookups). It is plausible to think that equal numbers of men and women may boost in the number of committed relationships and marriages.

2. Women in developed, rich countries typically have more resources and education than their counterparts in developing countries. They have more rights and privileges. Because a woman has the means to support herself and/or her family independently, she does not require marriage to support her financially or a son to support her in her old age. In contrast, when resources are scarce and opportunities are limited, a good marriage is an opportunity to live a comfortable life, even when it involves marrying a man who already has numerous wives and concubines or just a guy with a roof over his head. The woman may be a wife of lower status and may be abused, but at least it's better than living on the streets or being employed as a domestic servant. Domestic abuse may occur, but her dowry is supposed to offer some sort of protection. That's the purpose of the dowry.

3. Monogamy reduces the chance of jealousy and aggression between two spouses of the same sex who are competing for the attention of the same man or woman.

4. Since the Middle Ages, Western culture favors monogamous marriage on a religious and social basis. Both the clergy and the aristocratic laity wanted a marriage that was monogamous and indissoluble, but they likely had their own reasons. The clergy likely wanted marriage to be theologically sound, because they were typically the ones doing the solemnizing and blessing. The aristocratic laity were politically minded and wanted marriage to be more regulated than before, so that the line of succession would be more peaceful. If a person is really the bastard child of a nobleman or a king, then he cannot inherit. The Roman Catholic Church still is against polygamy and divorce and has a long list of qualifications for a valid marriage, according to Canon Law. Since a great proportion of people in the world are Catholics and that Catholicism is everywhere, that is likely a contributor to the rise of monogamy worldwide. However, I should note that this is a weak contributor, given that non-Catholics, or broadly speaking non-Christians (i.e. atheists), may also favor monogamy.

[WalterRadio]

" so that the line of succession would be more peaceful."
This is the ONLY reason monogamy was imposed. A titleholder inherited everything, his siblings got nothing. The Catholic church imposed it to reduce bloodshed.

Instead of polygamy, the practice of having mistresses, which existed anyway, filled the role, which continues to this day. It is out in the open in Europe. In France and Italy, mistresses are often public. In the US, she is often called a sugar baby. Hong Kong men often have their Hong Kong wife and their mainland China wife.

All of humanity is a consequence of all of history, so monogamy having come from a particular Statist Religion has merely propagated. It is no different than saying you don't have to be Sumerian to read and write.

Islam still allows polygamy, as do many non-Western societies. The President of South Africa has several wives.

I reject your statement. Today's liberalization of relationships means that polyamory, in its many forms, will start coming out of the shadows. Young women today are far more sexually open than they were a generation ago. They are quick to express bisexuality, and are more accepting of poly relationships.

I had two bisexual girlfriends at the same time about five years ago (the girls were 20 and 21) and it was great for all of us. My girlfriend right now is also bisexual and she just started looking for a girlfriend for us, at her initiative.

Keep in mind: Legally, marriage is a business partnership. It has nothing to do with love or sex. There is no logical reason why there cannot be more than two partners in a business.

[myTake Owner]

Well, more workers do mean that the business has to redistribute the revenue. So, having less workers that perform high quality work is a better deal than having more workers with the same level of productiveness or profit.

[WalterRadio]

They aren't "workers", they are "owners".

[myTake Owner]

Less owners, greater share of the profit.

[WalterRadio]

It doesn't work that way.

[abundantlyrich]

Well in china and india, marriage is mainly about pooling resources together which means marriage is a big deal and considered as survival and its not really about getting together for love. This is what left overs people will do and its typically the older men who have more choices in picking a younger partner.

[myTake Owner]

Actually, China's urban population is becoming more westernized. City people are romanticizing and marrying for love, but because China is also becoming wealthier, marriage can get very materialistic as well, especially among the wealthy class. The rural areas are where old traditions are still intact, but traditional arranged marriage as it was practiced before the rise of Communism is now rare. Parental consent still matters, though. But parents don't have 100% control over their adult children's marriages.

[abundantlyrich]

Haha but the ladies tend to pick white guys over Asian ones most of the time. Effect of globilisation?

[myTake Owner]

Eh... I doubt that has a big effect. China is the most populous country in the world. So, Chinese men marrying Chinese women is probably going to be more likely than Chinese women marrying foreign-born men.

In the United States, I've heard that the most common type of interracial marriage is between Asian women and White men. Sorry I don't have a source, so take that with a grain of salt.

In my own experience, I knew two Chinese-American classmates whose mothers were White and fathers were Chinese immigrants.

[aggressivebunny]

I dont know where you got your information, but thats about a quarter of it.

Fact is: More younger successful men are not marrying because they are smart, not stupid.

Fact 2: Race Demographics in Marriage. Category:

Military. More military men are settling for non-
American, asian/other wives. Have you been to a military base and seen a family event? Fort Belvoir in VA, has 90% Korean women living inside the base.

Fact 3: These women you speak of are not found in developed countries. What you find in developed countries most of the time is a female who is brainwashed by feminism or drunk on yolo-slut culture.

Whats the name of that class that all soon to be or want to be young mothers go to? Child development? Or is it family planning? Why isn't courtship taught in that class?

Ashley Madison would have been a great source of information for you. Because that site is beyond tinder. People there are already married yet unhappy so they go look for other side hubby's and wifey's.

[myTake Owner]

Did you even click the links? They are marked in pink font.

[Northeast106]

It also depends on circumstances. Marriage allowed society to know who the father of the children are. Women who were promiscuous would pump out children and no one knew who's children they were. This is detrimental to society, because these children grow up with less resources and skills and typically are more prone to a life of crime. That's marriage in general. Monogamy was favored by the Greeks and the Romans, and was incorporated into the Roman Catholic faith, even though in the old testament polygamy was fine. Polygamy benefits societies that faced long periods of warfare or famine, in which women significantly outnumbered men. The Jews and the Muslims had limits on polygamy to ensure each wife was treated fairly, along with their children. This system allows a higher fertility rate for a nation, and allows it to quickly repopulate. If a man could only have one wife, then there would be less women procreating. The downside to polygamy, is when rich and powerful men would take an excessive amount of women, then other men would revolt, and you had periods of internal conflict. Particularly when there wasn't a shortage of men to women. This is why the Greeks and the Romans adopted Monogamy. It allowed for a more stable society, with longer periods of peace.

[myTake Owner]

References?

[Northeast106]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy#Islam

https://www.religioustolerance.org/polyprac.htm

reason.com/.../one-man-many-wives-big-problem

[myTake Owner]

Thanks. References are important. They tell others where you get your ideas.

[Northeast106]

@asker Your welcome.

[Bandit74]

Additionally you have to consider men disproportionately make up the prison and homeless population which adds to any potential imbalance.

There is also the rise in MGTOW where there are a sizable minority of men who just swear off women completely.

Then factor in the men who could be relationship material by women's standards but have realized that they have traits that women find hard to resist (looks, social skills, exciting) and as a result choose to just sleep around with as many girls as possible.

So the number of datable men who are actually interested in relationships is potentially smaller than the amount of datable women interested in relationships which creates more competition in men's favor, especially when it comes to marriage.

[myTake Owner]

References?

[Bandit74]

www.bop.gov/.../statistics_inmate_gender.jsp

www.theguardian.com/.../men-gender-divide-feminism
"But in 2011 the housing charity Crisis found that 84% of the hidden homeless were male. And the latest CHAIN figures suggest that 9 out of 10 people sleeping rough are male"

www.vice.com/.../inside-the-global-collective-of-straight-male-separatists
I dont have any exact number for MGTOW tho but the mgtow youtube videos seem to get between 50- 200,000 views so that could be a decent ballpark.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks. Good stuff. Yeah, it's kind of sad that these things get overlooked by feminists. Feminists often say they are interested in women's rights and equal rights, but they often overlook the systematic injustices against men and then argue that "OMG, patriarchy affects everybody." I'd rather be egalitarian than feminist.

[ManOnFire]

Women are actually one of the demographics that gets overcounted in the census in developed countries, leading to the false stats that women outnumber men. Also, even if they did, men still aren't struggling, and if men outnumbered women - which has normally been the case because more males than females are born on average - women wouldn't be struggling either.

Also I don't see how women have more resources than their counterparts seeing as their counterparts usually control those resources.

[myTake Owner]

Women have more resources than their female counterparts in developing countries. Women are educated and permitted to vote. In developing countries, women may not have access to education beyond a certain grade level.

[ManOnFire]

Oh I misunderstood you. I thought you were saying their counterparts were male.

[Anonymous]

1. Male to female ratio may be equal but women have ridiculous standards and criteria which basically mitigate the number of eligible men they are willing to marry.

Thanks to women making more money on men than average and female hypergamy. The dating pool of elligible bachelor's who make more money than women is small so women have a shortage of men to date.

3. Monogomy also increases stress amongst the male, loss of rights, putting him at risk as even common law wives can screw men over. A common pattern of when women get into a LTR with men is sex life goes to the crapper because women feel she has gotten the man.

[Opinion Owner]

2. Another reason monogamous relationship don't work is loss of morals and values. People are too sexual and fuck around too much. This type of behavior disqualifies you for being able to stay in a monogamous relationship. It's even worse for guys because many girls aren't honest.

Guys don't lie about being fuck boys and actual advertise they are experience. Women on the other hand will fuck like 50+ dude but when she meets that one guy she wants a relationship with will lie and say her number is less than 10.

Honesty and owning up to your actions isn't a really trait women are known for.

[Opinion Owner]

Also in 1. I haven't even factored in the height criteria and having a particular face.

[Anonymous]

Got to love how many men 'can't afford a woman' Ie expected to support her.
But if she is educated and makes money guys who are slightly less educated or make slightly less are undatable in her eyes. ... as though education indicates intelligance, or money equals value.

Good luck finding a happy monogamous relationships ladies. As we see, men are turning away from you faster and faster.

[myTake Owner]

No, I mean, in China and India, there is a thing called a "bride price". India's bride price is based on tradition, and to some extent, China's bride price is also based on tradition, but mostly for the rural population. The urban population seems to revive the bride price practice, because wealthy parents of daughters are materialistic and will not permit their daughters to marry a man of lower status in education or money.

[fueledbythc]

I look like I'm 30 and this answers a lot of questions I've been seeking. I live in Vancouver where there are evidently more women than men and the men that are here are Asian and typically not over 5'10". I see so many single women around and most "good" men are taken. I don't think I'm good looking but I don't know how others perceive me.

[takumii]

OK, thanks. As if the government would allow me a polygamy.

[Anonymous]

Ironically, the Old Testament sanctioned polygamy. The same God that Christians worship.

[Walls_and_Doors]

None of this supports the thesis.

[Anonymous]

I am not agree with you

[skeptic007]

lol good luck

[Anonymous]

interesting take.