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My Vent, short and to the point, You Cheated! Big whoop... Don't make Excuses, don't try to justify your actions. I have been cheated on. I consider myself a kind person, but if you cheat on me, you're dead to me! Everything comes around, so you'll get your payback xD, soznotsoz
Read my entire take. Its not at all about any of that. Thanks.
Sure ;) i read most of this post, but most of it, is trying to justify your actions. With heaps of examples. Like people said below, cheaters are horrible people, even if they can change, at the time, they are the lowest of low!
Below murders, child molesters, rapists, pedophiles, etc. Okay cool :) Thanks!
again ur trying to justify by stating obvious worse examples. You have some serious issues. Why make this MyTake, if you know that everyone hates them, saying that you cheated and realized your mistake doesn't make you a good person. Feeling like shit and going to "Therapy" doesn't make it "even". You just sound like a weak person, who blames others for their mistakes and takes the coward way out. That being the Cheater! Sorry but you get no Respect nor Sympathy from me. Seems you're in need of some Concrete pills... have a nice day ;)
There is simply no reason to ever cheat. It's unforgivable. Yes it's a mistake, but it's one you just don't make. Just like you don't make the mistake of killing someone or stealing from someone. Just because your form of cheating isn't as bad as another, (Ex: killing an adult vs killing a defenseless child) you still went through with it, so you deserve every bit of backlash you get. You are not a victim here, you are the one who caused the problem. Deal with it, and don't cheat in the first place.
Basically if a two timing prick realises his crime and accepts the consequences of his/her actions whilst exhibiting a desire to change, he/she should move on with his/her life and keep the lessons learnt at heart in future relationships. Forgiveness is hardly ever immediate or even explicit.
YESSSSS thank you for getting it. You comment should've been my entire post.
Well I actually never tolerate cheating, my dad cheated on my mom and I never saw her so damaged, a mistake is something you can't avoid like trying to throw paper in a bin and fail because you could not reach the bin. You cheat because you want to even if it's only for a moment and after that you regret it. Everyone regrets cheating of course becauae you wouldn't stay in a relationship if you wouldn't love your partner. If you don't love your partner then just break up and do whatever you want to. You made a choice and you ended up like that. I don't want to make it worse, I just hope for you that you mean what you say and won't do it again.
making a mistake does define who you are lol
If I go to a kindergarten are kill 12 kids, does this make me a mass murderer? But what if I'm sorry about it? What if I learned from it? Does this single act define who I am? Know the whole story before you judge me right?
Your a whore... if you learned a lesson from your experience, congrats? But that still doesn't change what you are. News flash! Yes, you are defined by what actions you decide to take in life
Fking nailed it!! XD just awesome!
I am not a murderer though. Cheating isn't punishable by law either, so therefore its hard to compare it to. Here's an example from an earlier poster who made a great analogy for you. " -@123cheesecake
if it occured such a long long time ago, consider it like this. Not every single person with a bad credit history would remain to have bad credit history; if their financial position for the last couple of decades shows great promise, which means the person HAS learned their lesson. then yes, I agree that cheaters should not be 'eternally judged' for one act.
if it is, however, closer to the present, like if the bad credit history only occured last year whilst applying for the loan, and there is no or little upward trend in the person's behaviour (or there isn't simply enough time to judge if the person has changed or not) then i believe the bank has the right to deny the person on that basis alone."
Thanks for the opinions :)
I think we can agree that people can change
Having said that do I trust the loyal girl that's always had a good credit rating with my money over the one with a proven track record of bad credit, no matter how long ago?
Yes, every dam time!
I wouldn't say a "whore" but yeah you said it no body should feel sorry for her because she cheated
I know some cheaters actually feel like crap after they cheat. They regret it and wish that they never would have done it in the first place.
But it's too late, It is a sort of punishment, you violated the trust of someone who loved you, your partner, your husband or wife...
They are most likely scarred for life...
Cheaters will not get sympathy from anyone, because a lot of people have been cheated on, or know someone who has, or would never do such a thing... and know It really hurts...
If you truly are sorry, it will take time to heal.
I know people are in different situations, but there is no situation where cheating would be acceptable.
WTF? Is that your excuse?
Rape, murder, genocide, suicide, torture, blackmail, robbery AND "C H E A T I N G" IS A CHOICE. Not a MISTAKE.
You cannot accidentally cheat. You want dick.
Unless of course, you're ignorant or drunk.
Meet your brothers and sisters here :- www.girlsaskguys.com/search?q=Accidentally+cheated
Clearly stated multiple times, there is no fucking excuse for what I did. None at all. A mistake and an accident are two different things. Have your opinions on whatever you like. I didn't accidentally cheat. I knew exactly what the fuck I was doing, I made that choice. Yeah its fucking bad one. I'm not blind, I didn't trip and fall onto his dick. The fact that you're comparing me to fucking jail time crimes makes you a fucking prick. You stick me into this pile of "cheaters." But don't even give the opportunity to yourself to understand the point of my post. Yeah I fucking cheated, wooooo you can read that I'm a cheater. My point was I've grown the fuck up and have been forgiven cause I realize my fuck up. I learned from my childish mistakes. Thank you for you opinion.
I don't know you you're not a prick that was out of anger. Again another mistake I owned up to. I apologise, I'm a little heated if you can't tell... :)
Multiple personality disorder? O_o
"SOME OF US CHEATERS SIMPLY MADE A FUCKING MISTAKE..."
Would you forgive a rapist or a murderer if they said it was a "simple fucking mistake"?
No?
Then why should one suddenly accept it as an excuse for a cheater?
"YOU DON'T KNOW THE ENTIRE STORY."
Don't need to. You were in a relationship, and you fucked someone else whilst being in said relationship. That's not a mistake nor is it accidental.
have you heard of unintentional man slaughter? 1st degree, 2nd degree, 3rd degree murder. They're all murder. There is no excuse. But the act can be to a degree. You crash a car and end up killing someone cause lets say its dark and you hit a dear, and the passenger was effected by the cars rollout from the hit. Completely not the drivers fault, although the driver could have avoided it. Unintentional. No I'm not saying cheating is unintentional, I'm saying not all people think I through, plan it, or keep doing it.
Yeah I have heard of unintentional man slaughter. It doesn't mean people HAVE to forgive the act.
I have not, however heard of unintentional cheating, because it doesn't exist.
I clearly said cheating is not unintentional. And I never once said forgive me. I simply stated my opinion for people to get the chance to understand that people like myself can change after making a bad choice.
"I simply stated my opinion for people to get the chance to understand that people like myself can change after making a bad choice."
Ah, okay... well good luck with that then...
Just don't be too shocked if most people don't believe that is possible, especially when it comes to something like cheating.
Don't need luck. My SO loves me although I made a mistake in the past. Surprisingly enough your loved ones will take the time to understand and forgive if you put forth effort and show that you've changed.
This isn't the problem.
"Well sorry to break it to you, but although getting cheated on may suck, sometimes it's not always to hurt you, for the pleasure and leisure of your partner, or because they don't care about you."
The problem is the BRUTAL form of betrayal that cheating is, it can destroy a person. If you would do that to someone you are a piece of shit. period. You break up, you do not cheat.
Yeah, don't get me wrong you shouldn't be judged by others, but potential bfs/gfs have every right to be guarded, and it's not wrong of them to be that way, they aren't judging you, they are using deductive reasoning to determine that frankly, if you've done it before, you have a higher chance to do it again, not that you don't deserve a chance again, but it's right of potential partners to question you, and you can't expect the person you hurt to forgive you either, because they're only human to. But when it comes to people who have nothing to do with it, they need to mind their business.
I see a difference between "cheaters" (repetitive) and someone who makes a mistake. Also, people who make a mistake of that emotional magnitude most definitely need to face the consequences for their betrayal.
On the flipside of that, I have friends and relatives of both sexes who are mostly decent people who have cheated. I love these folks dearly, but it's their own baggage that leads to cheating.
I HATE HATE HATE when people blame their partner for cheating. If your relationship is that bad, it's your own damage keeping you there. I personally find that most people who cheat seem to have an incapacity and unwillingness to face life head on by themselves.
I read the entire crap I agree with the guy said he's just skimmed it. Basically it's a bunch of apologies saying you don't understand I won't do it again and I feel guilty. Next, your fucking 17 years old your god damn kid you don't know shit. You screwed up and you sorry about it but you don't write an entire diatribe as if you were the Encyclopaedia Britannica. MoveOn say you're sorry asked for a her forgiveness and MoveOn. By the way I don't expect a 17-year-old to keep his Dick in his pants. The wind blows and you get an erection. Somebody scores a touchdown and you get an erection. That is okay stop blaming yourself but to say that you're going to be loyal the rest of your life and you so sorry you cheating and you try to write a psychologic textbook about it borders on the stupid and is ridiculous. If you really want to know why you cheated, read the connection between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex in our physiology book
I was once the one someone cheated with. It was a terrible mistake made when I couldn't think clearly.
When I was thinking about breaking up with my first boyfriend after nearly 2 years, I told a relatively new but close friend about it. We talked for hours and he told me he was about to break up with his girlfriend too.
A week later, I did it. It was terrible, my (former) boyfriend cried and hurt himself and begged me to take him back.
A few days later I went to my students association to cheer up a bit. The friend I had talked to was an amazing support and offered me a place to crash so I didn't have to take the last train.
I drank a bit too much to mend my feelings and ended inside his bed. He hugged me, I really needed a hug and couldn't think clearly and it sort of happened.
He broke up with his girlfriend the next day, he would've anyways. Nobody knows and to the people who do, we swapped the dates. Am I a terrible person?
Yes.
@MaskedSanity good to know. I feel like that too. It was a year ago and I learned my lesson.
Cheating is bad, but it's not the worst thing ever.
I find it funny how people get so crazy over it, yet seem fine with mass murdering gets a mundane response.
Priorities, people!!! lol.
People got their reasons. They're dumb, but it's there. lol.
IKR? I didn't know people got so rageful over this.
#truth
People want to think that cheaters are 'bad people'.
It makes them feel safer. If 'good people' don't cheat and only 'bad people' cheat, then if they can simply avoid the 'bad people' then they won't get cheated on.
That's trueish when dating, but not when married. You marry a good person, then become a shitty partner, watch the relationship whither and don't do anything about it, then one day when they're drunk, someone fulfills their emotional needs that you've ignored for a half decade, good fucking luck not getting cheated on.
oh look at me. im such a cheater but i dont want to be shamed for it. so what i will do is write some bullshit in bold and tell everyone that they should accept me because even though i did something terrible, i felt sad.
in a perfect world under perfect circumstances we should allow cheaters to only date other cheaters then they can tell each others how sorry they are rather than having them go around spreading their scum on others.
Ok, you're an anon asshole who doesn't understand the purpose of "My Take." You should maybe take read on the opinion above you.
hmmm i think i prefer being an asshole over a cheater but thats just me haha lol. thats of course also without mentioning that being called an asshole by a cheater makes me happy because im not supposed to be on the same side as a cheater no?
An asshole can change his label to something else though if he wants. (Not that you're an ass).
@bbch25 true af. she is a cheater and she will never be able to get rid of that label.
No he understands it, you're just a whore. Whores don't get a vote.
You sound just as bad as those ignorant ignoramuses that think that a cheating situation makes someone automatically a "cheatER".
you fucked up, you apologized and tried to right a wrong... real cheaters don't do that. you cheatED... period. one time.
as for those ignorant fools... cheating starts before the act and those fools are probably the ones who triggered it. I've cheated, and in almost (ALMOST) all of it... i don't feel an inkling of regret. I feel oppressed instead.
Thank you, I like the way you put this, and thanks for sharing a bit of your story too!
meh.. its what it is. I've always hated how when someone commits just one bad act, they are labelled like its some kind of hobby. unless its 2 times or more, "er" or "ing" shouldn't be added. irks me.
It's cool how most cheaters love this articles but those who didn't cheat know this is bs, cheating is a choice you messed up you are a cheater tho, it's not mistake or an accident unless the other person forced them self on you. Should you have a constant reminder? Not all the time but history does tend to repeat... Should you make an article to justify your actions? No.
@Kitten101n in just about 90% of cheating cases, the cheating starts way before the act, and is usually the fault of the one playing "victim". There are different forms of "cheating" though people tend to only focus on sex acts. a lot of people always go "if you are going to cheat, just leave"... Its like people only see sex as cheating when its not. I said i cheated and in those cases that i did, if she didn't want to get cheated on, then she should paid attention to my concerns the numerous times i brought them up. Ignoring/rejecting my concerns doesn't make them go away.
This is why i have disclaimers now in my relationships... if i have a want, or need, and my SO won't (not can't) fulfill it, well then somebody or something else will. can't be significant without doing something significant when needed. if they don't like it.. a) they can shape up and compromise/sacrifice, or b) walk... the door is always open.
your reply reminds me of an ex that maintained his needs were by far, the utmost importance and that he deserves to be treated like royalty... all the while never giving back the treatment that he demanded.
when you say "needs/concerns" that she wouldn't fulfill, are you referring to sexual needs and/or emotional needs or maybe these were serious deal-breakers or maybe they were just nit-picking and nagging?
in my own experiences in dealing with cheaters one thing has always perplexed me: motive.
what was the motive behind them cheating on me? and you know what I learned? motive equates to selfishness and entitlement. or should I say, a distorted and disillusioned sence of entitlement they have created in order to satisfy the instant self-gratification monkey that's on their back.
that damn monkey... he's always up to no good convincing the Chester that he/she is entitled to variety in the midst of confrentation with their SO.
I believe one should go ahead and "just leave"
@tracih78cats I can see it coming off that way, but it is in no way like your ex. im just saying that everyone has their needs...
My concept is that when you get in a relationship with someone, you are technically saying they are the people you will go to for basically everything. Now if they keep ignoring you everytime or in a certain aspect, is that known as reneging, aka cheating? Men and women have different needs/wants, so just because one has more frequency that the other and is physical, doesn't mean its any different. it happens.
To cure things like that happening, i recommend the act of compromise, but strictly speaking from a guy standpoint, do you have ANY idea how rare it is for a woman to either admit she is wrong, or be willing to negotiate?
Also, as I've said before, its easy to say "just leave"... and its a very ignorant thing to say. like that would be easy to do after 10 years and 3 children. Circumstances... its about the circumstances.
Yeah all cheaters are the same where it matters. They lake loyalty, respect, and self control... A cheating ho is a cheating ho no matter how you dress her up.
Everyone who cheats is a coward and an awful person that's reality sorry! If you were a decent person you would end your relationship before getting with someone else, but you were too selfish and cowardly to even do that so stop making excuses and own up to what you did.
That's exactly what I did. Thanks.
I dated this one girl for six months until one day she stopped talking to me and responding to my messages and ignored me at school. So after a month I considered myself single and when I got with this guy and she told everyone I cheated on her and very few people actually know she didn't talk to me for a month before that.
Said none of that mattered because we never officially broke up. Super salty bitch honestly.
I'm sure you were both still young as well and its not something you want written on your back wherever you go. It's not always the same situation, it might not even be cheating like in your case, but when you're labelled, its stuck.
It really did, because I would've just broke up with her and yes we were both young