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Not All Cheaters Are the Same, So Stop Judging Us Like We Are! (Page 4)
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Good point, but for me, I still think that cheating is a choice and not an accident because every decision you make, no matter how small it is, will lead to the cheating action itself. For example, you "accidentally" had an affair with someone else. If you hadn't continued talking or entertained that person in the first place, you wouldn't be in that situation. That's why cheating is a choice.
As I said in the post its not an accident, but it can be a mistake. As in a wrong choice, or a regrettable choice.
You're arguing her point...
She said that it is a choice, and it is a mistake, but it is not an accident.
That's kinda like what i said. I said it is a choice and NOT an accident.
"I'm not a murderer, I just made a poor judgement call !"
"Stop generalizing murderers."
This is how you sound.
Forreal...
Stop exaggerating to try and justify your point. cheating isn't even on the same level
@noneoftheabove It doesn't matter on what level it is. It is exactly the same principle.
principle maybe but murder. you're chatting crap...
@noneoftheabove - I agree. Thank you.
She never claimed she wasn't a cheater...
And you're using murder as an example just so people will be inclined to agree with you (not that it's working you chose a much too extreme example) so that's just a bit low.
It's not how she sounds. If you'd read the whole thing you would get that all she's sayign is that the situation is different from case to case.
Which, no, does not protect her from a label (because we oh so love labels, don't we) but if people could stop being so butt hurt, should protect her from the mob of people who are being stirred up by the worst kinds of cheaters.
But of course it won't. Because you all love to generalise and don't like to have any stereotype threatened.
@BaileyisDarcy
"If you'd read the whole thing you would get that all she's sayign is that the situation is different from case to case."
I get what she is saying and what I'm saying is that what she is saying is simply bullshit.
How is it bullshit?
Explaion to me exactly where you're coming from. And please, leave bitterness behind it sours any and all arguments to the poitn of uselessness.
@BaileyisDarcy If you don't see the bullshit in that I don't think there is anything worthwhile to discuss about.
If you have such a strong opinion, why don't you share what you find to be bullshit? If you have something to say, say it.
Here is what is bullshit miss:
You can't excuse making shitty decisions by saying things like "I made a mistake" or a "wrong call" or "didn't think consequences through".
That is not how the real world works.
Not making mistakes isn't really that hard thing to do, a lot of people can manage.
Unfortunately, your actions DO define you no matter how much you would like them not to.
If you don't want to be defined as a shitty person simply don't do shitty things.
A child rapist could just come here and say that he "just didn't think things through" and that we shouldn't define him by the "mistake" he did, could he not?
After all, he much like you, knew that raping children is wrong but did it anyway not thinking about the consequences, didn't he not?
We shouldn't judge him, because making mistakes doesn't make you a horrible person right?
Or do we judge him because some things you HAVE to make the right call about?
Just like the thing YOU didn't make the right call about.
I didn't say making a mistake was an excuse out of cheating. I said I'm not a bad person because I cheated once, that is why I called it a mistake. As a human being you make fucking mistakes so don't pull the bullshit "don't make mistakes" on me. Everyone does it. I'm sure you've had an incident that you could call a mistake. Comparing it to a rapist does not work as it's a much more extreme offence, and puts you in jail and so forth. I made the wrong call yes, and I owned up to it. Lets compare it to something a little closer in extremes, such as lying. Yes lying can me minimal, but some people do take it as hard as cheating depending on the situation. If a person is a compulsive liar and has created many problems because of their lies, they can call their past of problems a mistake on their fault. They're not a horrible person because they used to lie a lot if they have owned up to their lies, and proven to have grown up and learned from their mistakes.
Cheating is still cheating, to me there is no excuse.
I never said cheating isn't cheating and I clearly said, there is no excuse, just a reminder.
Well, let me rephrase it: to me, you cannot justify cheating.
Nor was I trying to justify it.
Personally I dont understand why people cheat. I mean if the relationship is not working good or you have someone else, why can't just let him/her go just tell them. Why people have to stab at someones heart. Naive, yes very naive. I hope you would realize how bad cheating is when you really grow up, not here writing this take telling everyone whatever excuses people make to cheat.
I do realize how bad cheating is thank you as I have said multiple times. I am NOT making excuses to cheat.
I do feel glad that you do realized its bad.. I hope you will have a wonderful and a healthy relationship in the future.
"Oops sorry, I slipped and my thumb hit "send" on that sext I was about to send to your hot best friend."
It's never a mistake. It's a choice. You know it's wrong but you choose to do it, then when you get caught, you THEN say it's a mistake, ONLY when there's a good chance you'll lose your partner.
How do you react when people "remind" you of it? Because going crazy about it isn't going to help (It will do the opposite), you need to display true remorse (Yes, everytime) and they might forgive you. Maybe explaining the different types of cheaters in another myTake may help people understand because to me cheating is cheating.
I hate all cheating people. They have lack of honour in my eyes. No excuse.
What would you do if your 16 year old child decided to cheat? Would you hate your child?
Yeap, I would think he or she is an emphaty disabled jerk. I would feel guilty to raise such a child. I believe in Schopenhauer's moral values. Emphaty is my moral values' base.
You nvr know. I could end being a cheater one day myself. But I think people hate on cheaters because they nvr seem like they're sorry about being so selfish. They just defend themselves. Like they're still self centered. If a guy cheated on me he'd have to watch me sleep with another guy if he wanted me back, srsly. I have to make him feel what he made me feel or he'll just stay selfish. I'm sorry you had to go to therapy but it's hard to feel badly for anyone like this.
I Also dislike cheaters because I feel like they couldn't handle being cheated on... if they could why didn't they just be strong enough to break up?
But whoa you're only a teenager? No one will care about your cheating even a couple years from now. Just lie and say you weren't exclusive with him if any stories spread. From the way you wrote I thought you were in your mid twenties! Don't worry about anything.
I don't care. If you loved your SO that much, then why would you cheat on them? If you truly love someone, you never want to hurt them, and since cheating is a conscious choice, then you're intentionally hurting them. A cheater is a cheater. If you don't want all of that guilt piled onto you, then don't do it.
You're 14, you'll learn if you haven't already. People make mistakes, and as you grow up, you don't want to be constantly reminded of it and defined by something you had done as a child. Especially if you've owned up to it and grown from it.
Don't expect anyone to sympathize because this isn't just about you. You can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't affect other people. But when you're lying to someone and betraying they're trust and possibly exposing them to STD's without their knowledge, you are hurting someone else.
And the rest of us will say that and hope to god we don't meet someone who acts the way you do. Because it's morally wrong.
All cheaters are liars.. They chose to take a bond of trust they had with their SO and stomp on it like a used cigarette. It shows narcissism on the part of the cheater and extreme selfishness. Stop making excuses for heartless selfish behavior, grow up, and realize what you are and change it.
I did grow up and realize what I did and changed it. That's exactly what I said.
Get the fuck outta here lol You want dick or pussy so bad that you can't either get yourself off or wait for you SO then you got some serious control problems.
I don't though. I don't think my post was titled I WANT DICK. Nor was it about that at all.
Then why'd you cheat? For any reason other than you wanted to bang?
I cheated cause I was a young kid put in a situation and I said no once it already started. It happened and there are no excuses for the actions I took. I didn't want to bang. I had just come home from a party, I was a little intoxicated as a 15 year old, and it hits you a little harder than most ( not an excuse, simply context in the story ). A couple friends were supposed to come over, only one friend came, who happened to be a guy with bad intention. He made a move and I said no once too much had happened to be forgiven. I fucked up. Was it a lesson, yes. But no I did not go out searching for dick. I could've gotten that from my boyfriend if that's what I wanted.
Wtf you didn't cheat then! You said no, he continued. You got sexually assaulted maybe even raped
LOOOL, So you think cheating is alright depending on the excuse they give
longawkwardpause.files.wordpress.com/.../boss.gif
AHAHAHA read again. Cheating is not okay at all. Not at all. There is no excuse ever. (well there's rape, but were not going there). My point was I'm not the man or woman who goes and fucks other people while their spouse and children are at home. I'm a young kid who fucked up and learned the hard way about something I can't take back. Not all people will understand that a cheater isn't always a jackass for the rest of their life. I grew up, because I had the balls to own up to my shit and learn from it. Before you comment make sure you're not accusing someone of something they clearly stated to be false.
Oh fuck off. I didn't read that shit because if you cheat, you're done. It's over.
I don't give a fuck what the reason is wtf are you trying to justify with this
''YOU DON'T KNOW THE ENTIRE STORY. GET TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU JUDGE A PERSON FOR THEIR ACTIONS. NOT EVERYTHING IS JUST AS BASIC AS YOU PERCEIVE IT AS.'' ?
WTF a dick doesn't accidentally fall into your pussy
Don't drink and GAG.
You cheated. You go to hell to be sodomized by Satan untill the end of time.
Fin
Who cares u cheated u were either tei pussy to leave or to pusdy to tell them u wanted mor out feel rejected. It is a choice it not like the girl just magically hops on ur dick.
You go our of ur way to either court a girl or u use social media to talk to her.
I cheated on u but I still love u Lol dumbest shit ever.
Has anyone seen that movie the intern. Anne Hathaway should have dumbed his ass. Cause in the end he got what wanted. sex with s hot girl and his wife and kid.
I agree a bit because I'm willing to forgive many things. It just depends on the situation
The situation can be everything.
Cheating is cheating and the only thing that makes you guys classified as "not the same" is being different individuals in differ bodies. But cheaters lie and disown someones trust so how does this post make any sense.
You still see it in black and white. I will tell you my story in a little more depth to help you see where I'm coming from. And no I don't want your sympathy or to feel bad for me, just understand where I'm coming from.
First you should know, don't take the events leading up to my decision as excuses. There is no excuse for my actions. I'm simple sharing that there was events and such that may have caused me to make such a bad choice in my life. Again, there is no excuse, but I'm aloud to have a reason for having poor judgement. I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship where my partner lied constantly. I had been a completely faithful girlfriend in every way throughout our time together. There comes a point where you have the choice to walk away from a situation or self destruct. Myself as an immature teen, decided to self destruct, and did not think of the consequences to come. We had been at a party and had been drinking, both my partner and our friends. (let me continue )
The alcohol did effect my judgement but again, no excuse. I was mad that evening as I had just been lied to and there was no effort from my partner to apologise for lying to me once again. (again not an excuse for my actions). Myself and My best friend were going to meet back at my place for the night and have a sleepover. My neighbour at the time liked my best friend. So I said yeah come on over. When my best friend bailed and I was drunkenly stuck with my neighbour I was a little lost. And that's when it happened. No we didn't go completely through with it, we realised how bad it was. ( again not and excuse ). I told my partner what had happened soon after, and it took about almost a year for us to move on from the mistake.
Now my point is. Am I the same as a man or woman who cheats on their husband/wife whom they have a family and entire life with, multiple times, over and over again? No. I'm not. That is my point.
Still considered cheating..
You take a test and one person has their leg up farting while looking on the other persons paper to make distractions because he is a class clown. While you are cheating on the same test but doing it sly because you don't want to drag attention to yourself nor get caught. Just because each scenario was different doesn't make a saint just because how you started its how you ended. So in the end both cheated so a cheater is a cheat and cheaters never prosper while prospers never cheat. A scenario can never shade out the fact that you still "cheated". Forget the scenario and what you've done with the he said she said bff or whatever you still cheated. Admit you were wrong and if you cheated understand that it is wrong but own up to it lool.
You're right--cheating can be a mistake by definition. That first quote annoys me every time I see it.
Guess what u deserve to feel shitty and guilty and the rest as the saying goes:-
"Sit down & feast on your buffet of consequence"
being honest and man enough to work through and admit does raise you in my eyes, as someone just deny & lie which is far more damaging to all concerned but dude please don't expect anyone to feel sorry for you as you are just cleaning up message you created!