So You Wish to Guarantee Yourself a Place in the 'Friend-Zone', eh?

1. Drop your 'white knight' armour at the door.

Yes, you could argue that women are more vulnerable than men on average. That women have, on average, experienced more harassment (usually sexual) at the hands of men, sometimes leading to assault or rape. Naturally, this would lead the inflicted women to seek someone for support; someone to be their ‘crutch’. A role which many men feel obliged to fill and provide a shoulder to cry on.

Not saying that I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to offer a shoulder to cry at times when I’m just feeling like throwing everything down and saying ‘fuck it’, but… it’d be pretty damn hard to look at a guy who was formerly known as a classic case of the ‘emotional crutch’ as someone who I’d want to ride till I cum.

So You Wish to Guarantee Yourself a Place in the 'Friend-Zone', eh?

2. Stop thinking that expressing basic human decency will earn you the key to get between my legs.

We get way too many of these kinds of posts here on GaG, but they’re littering the entire internet as well. Posts made by guys who are furious that they ‘wasted so much time being nice to so and so’, then she ended up being like ‘all those other sluts and not wanting to jump on my dick soon after’. Which in itself, is a contradiction. If she were a true ‘slut’, she’d be more than willing to jump on your dick.

But alas…

Looking at human interactions as a checkout counter at your local supermarket is indicative of your own lack of reasoning. Friendliness ≠ pussy pass. Perhaps it’s time you retake whichever level of elementary math that covers the basics of algebra if you’ve got a hard time understanding that concept.

M'lady, I implore you, believe when I say, that there are no evilish intentions on my side. I would never think of touching you inappropriately, this I swear on my fedora.

…But. But, if you don't want to bang me after I told you that, yer' a cunt and a skank, just like others. yer' not like my fleshlight-fitted Rainbow Dash toy, who really loves me.

3. Hoping for the best is cute. Interpreting her carrying on a conversation via texting for a couple of days as her wanting to get some vitamin D with the help of yours truly, is not.

So you were texting each other for a few days and she hasn’t written back for a few days. The thing is, things were SO great before this unannounced hiatus. She’d write back pretty promptly and all, conversation flowed with next to no effort.

What’s her deal? How on earth could a girl be so evil and misleading in having 100% platonic conversation with you over a few days, then no longer continuing it? She obviously had nothing better to do with her time than to plan exactly how to work you into a tailspin, eventually resulting in a broken heart. Why would she send SO MANY SIGNS that she was interested (like asking ‘what’s up?’, or saying ‘shame I didn’t see you last night!’) then go completely MIA.

4. Don’t count on women to be able to read your mind and know what you (…or more likely, what the head below your shoulders) want from them.

As I’m sure many of you have already noticed, many of the guys who classify themselves as ‘forever alone’ or ones who get ‘friend zoned all the time’ are also the ones who completely avoid mentioning or suggesting any sort of sexual/romantic interest in a girl they’re spending time with until after she meets another guy and gets into a relationship with him.

So You Wish to Guarantee Yourself a Place in the 'Friend-Zone', eh?

Escalation of a friendship into a romantic relationship requires sexuality, so the longer you keep your ‘white knight’ façade up, the longer you’ll continue essentially castrating yourselves. Trying as hard as you can to come across as if you’re not interested in getting between her legs when in reality, that’s all you really want, isn’t how it works.

5. If she says she's not interested... take it as the truth.

Closing your eyes while twirling around for 5 seconds while repeating some sort of chant that will hex her and get her to change her mind or something is no solution to count on.

Let’s say that your case is a bit of an outlier and you’ve actually told the object of your interest that you’re interested in taking your relationship to the next level. Her reply was something along the lines of ‘…by golly! I’m flattered but I’m not ready for a relationship at this time’.

This lack of interest may sting a bit for you, but it’s best to move on with your head held high. Just because she may have been a friend to whom you were attracted leaves her in no way obligated to date you. She has every right to reject you.

6. What should be your move from this point onwards?

Well… making yourself comfortable and waiting around in anticipation for her to change her mind and get into your horse-drawn carriage is not something I’d advise that you do. Can you imagine that she’s say that she ‘only likes you as a friend’ if she secretly wanted your dick inside of her and to meet your soul in nirvana?

So You Wish to Guarantee Yourself a Place in the 'Friend-Zone', eh?

Nope, neither can I. You’ve made your intentions with her crystal clear, putting the ball in her court. That kind of reply is generally nothing more than a stalling technique, and I wouldn’t anticipate getting the ball returned any time soon.

So You Wish to Guarantee Yourself a Place in the 'Friend-Zone', eh?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • circlebill

    I'm afraid this take is very childish! I realize that the writer is relatively young, but the points here are simply ludicrous! Silly wisecracks are a poor substitute for wisdom! But that's basically all we have here! I'll go point by point!

    1. Drop your 'white knight' armour at the door.
    The writer seems to think that parroting a popular catch phrase insult is some kind of new breakthrough! Apparently. if a man tries to be helpful to a woman who seems to need help, he must be a bad person!

    2. Stop thinking that expressing basic human decency will earn you the key to get between my legs. This appears to somewhat repeat point 1. It would seem that a young lady has discovered that grown men have a sex drive and she therefore ASSUMES that every man she comes in contact with is automatically trying get sex with her!

    3. Hoping for the best is cute. Interpreting her carrying on a conversation via texting for a couple of days as her wanting to get some vitamin D with the help of yours truly, is not.
    Texting back and forth? Get some vitamin D? This is totally childish drivel!

    4. Don’t count on women to be able to read your mind and know what you (…or more likely, what the head below your shoulders) want from them.
    This makes no sense! If a man never communicated an interest in romance or sex, then what's the problem? Maybe I'm behind the times! Normally, a guy tells the girl that he's romantically and/or sexually interested and the girl accepts or rejects him (no mind reading needed)! Yet at the same time, is any female so dense that she really can't tell if a man likes her? This is just silly!

    5. 5. If she says she's not interested... take it as the truth.
    Here, we are dealing a self evident truth... with a bald face LIE into the mix! A man made his romantic/sexual interest known and a woman answers quote: "[by golly! I’m flattered but I’m not ready for a relationship at this time’.", If she is OUTRIGHT REJECTING THE MAN, her actual choice of words don't say that! To say, "[not ready for a relationship at this time."" is highly misleading if taken as the truth! But it is apparently a LIE! Perhaps MEN need to be mind readers.

    6. What should be your move from this point onwards?
    To think the writer had the filthy gall to claim a stinking LIE was something else, quote: "That kind of reply is generally nothing more than a stalling technique,"

    A woman who LIES that way actually deserves to be SPAT UPON OR WORSE! This MyTake is absolute childish TRASH!

    Is this still revelant?
    • kaylaS91

      thanks for sharing your opinion. :)

    • Jayson101

      You are absolutely right. Men my age and younger do in fact express their intentions plainly, they ask girls out and all that jazz and the girls pretend not to know because they love to play games. It is exhausting and we all know the indirectness is deliberate.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Shorty1991

    Great mytake, I can relate to number 4. Its just stupidity, going round and round in circles with the same tactics over and over again. Staring at you and going all doe eyed on you, following you around like a little lost puppy, invading your space "hey, I'm here" lol. But never actually brings any verbal communication into it. What's the point, they are just torturing themselves even further into the bargain.

    Is this still revelant?

What Girls & Guys Said

324
  • aficionado

    You make some valid points. But one thing I never understand. What if the guy was just friends with the girl, but as he got to know her personality, he developed feelings eventually? If he confessed to her, the girl would still reject him because she thinks he 'started out as friends' with the ultimate goal of getting into her pants.

    Anyway, I suppose the friendzone is the biggest insult ever, and people who stay in it (irrespective of gender) do not have an iota of self-respect. I mean... if a person confesses to a friend, he/she is not OBLIGED to stay as a friend, just like how the other person is not OBLIGED to date him/her. No one needs to accept friendship as a 'consolation prize' from someone they are attracted to, just because the other person felt he/she wasn't good enough for them. People need to learn to walk out of the friendzone.

    Please note, I'm not a misogynist, and I know that girls can end up friendzoned too. That's the reason I made my statements gender-neutral.

    • Seriously wtf.

      Why did you feel the need to say this part

      "Please note, I'm not a misogynist, and I know that girls can end up friendzoned too. That's the reason I made my statements gender-neutral."

    • aficionado

      @BubbleBoy69

      Because I didn't want to be accused of being a woman-hater, since there is a common misconception that girls can't usually be friendzoned.

    • kaylaS91

      'If he confessed to her, the girl would still reject him.'
      That indicates that you're under the assumption that every guy who starts out as just friends with a girl will get turned down if he develops feelings. Which isn't true, hate to break it to ya.

      Also, if you'd actually read what I'd wrote, you'd realize that just because your'e friends with a woman in no way means she's obligated to suck your dick or want you in any non-platonic way.

    • Show All
  • Tephra

    Probably the best take I've read in a while; Every guy should read this before pointing fingers :/

    • kaylaS91

      thanks girl, glad you enjoyed what I have to say. :)

  • Cosytoasty

    Good take 😊. Unfortunatly many will take this to mean 'be an asshole not her friend'. There is a middle ground where you make intentions clear and stand up for yourself.

    • kaylaS91

      thankyou. :) But what do you mean.. like, how could anyone possibly interpret what I've written here as meaning 'be an asshole'?
      😟

    • Cosytoasty

      Haha, this is GaG, if you're not her friend you're her enemy!

  • Alex88F

    this girl said she wanted to date me. she started to fuck another guy and i said "right on! you can date him then, i dont care"
    and she returned to me like 4 TIMES but she never wanted to set a date and she was still fucking the guy by the way. She went as far as "i wouldn't like if you disappear like nothing" and then she ditched me for good. She played games since the start

    a couple of months passes by and she's with another guy and we met again. She's all over me. Glaring, touching and smiling like an epyleptic (did i wrote that right? amen) and saying "call me and come and see me sometimes!"
    I asked her out and guess what? she flaked on me "cos is not the right thing to do if im dating another one" :/ duh

    I asked her again after one week. She ditched my ass for good and saying "i dont need you anymore". She's fucking this guy while she's still on contact with the other guy i mentioned in the beginning but "I never felt this good with my current boyfriend"

    How to judge her by a male perspective? I said i wanted her and i walked away. I hope i showed her im not willing to get treaten like a doormat.
    BUT
    How can you judge a girl like that? How can you call her? Not interested? crazy? ... slut?

    • kaylaS91

      How would I judge the male in that position?
      Pretty foolish. Foolish to continue pursuing a girl in hopes of having a relationship or even reciprocated interest when her behaviours indicate anything but. Repeatedly. He didn't do anything wrong per se but while you can bring a horse to water, you can't force it to drink.

      How would I judge her? Well..
      Living a lifestyle that I wouldn't wish upon myself but to each their own. As long as she wasn't married or already in a relationship, only people who are ignorant af and have nothing better to do with their time will care to shame a woman for having a healthy libido and not abiding by traditional societal norms.

    • Alex88F

      it ain't an answer. i walked away but i can't stand the Whole double standard thing
      "if we date while i fuck someone else is ok, if im not ok because you want it then im not into it" :/

    • kaylaS91

      There isn't a universal dating standard though? Each couple decides if they're exclusive or not on their own. Some choose to be open, some choose to be monogamous. Unless you established and straight up said that you're exclusive and she was fucking other guys on the side anyway, she didn't technically break any rules.
      (It's called 'defining the relationship'. Now you're all the more wiser.)

    • Show All
  • Pacificblue62

    I read these types of articles and as a guy I can just never relate to them. I'm not too warm and gentle in the sense the I really dont want to be a woman's emotional crutch. If some woman wants to come and cry on my shoulder and solve her boyfriend problems I'm in now way interested. Please don't. Dont care how hot you are, I have much better ways to spend my time. Even if it means watching paint dry. Maybe I'm a jerk in that regard but in general I'd say I'm fairly friendly and courteous to most people regardless of what gender they are. #2 Sex isn't everything to me, the relationship and friendship itself is most important to me. Maybe having this attitude makes me look like I'm a "nice sweet boring guy" in the eyes of some but I consider it completely masculine. Dont want to hear that steryotpical bs that all guys are only after one thing its just not true. Its like saying all black people like basketball or assuming all tall people play volleyball. Generalizations like this are getting way too old. Texting- I dont read into peoples texting behavior. If you dont answer I just assume you're busy or whatever. Im not out to sufficate anyone with texts but if I decide to send two texts in a row as I believe the situation dictates and girl has a problem with that and interprets it as needy or thinks my text is too long as it is over two sentences and she has a problem with that those are her issues. Trust me there are weird people who take issue with that kind of stuff. Have experienced it first hand. #4 Once again not all of us are only into sex, so if it appears a guy is not highly interested in getting between a girls legs ever maybe consider it is because he actually might not be? Dont over think it and assume the reverse is true just because of a persons gender. #5 Well yeah. I think most people would agree with this. Yeah so I just can't relate to these. Logically they just never make any sense and seem overly ficticious and highly fantasized.

    • kaylaS91

      It sounds like the first part of your opinion is not even relevant to anything I actually said here, and is more like an excerpt from some part of your diary.

      For example, I never said that all guys are after one thing only? Not that it'd be a bad thing, anyway. It's not a case of the blind leading the blind. Hell, I'm a woman to whom sex is very important. Does that deviance from thee norm make me.. not a woman? We all want sex to varying degrees, and are aware that variance in that exists.

    • Not sure if you're accurate calling this a journal. I'm just pointing out that these types guys are over fantasized here. There is a very large segment of the male population that isn't at all like what is described here so I dont see why these things are popular. Not just this article in particular but all of these types of articles in general are like this. "The nice guy friendzone articles". So I'm not sure why there is such an obsession towards writing these types of articles and making fun of these types of guys. I mean yeah theyre losers but people make a hobby of just endless obsessing and attacking these types guys and its just a small percent of the population. In reality I dont know if there are very many guys who meet all five of these. Why have you been hit on by a lot of these types or what you perceive to be these types? Has this been your firsthand experience for the most part?

  • MoonlitSonata

    So many generalizations... So much bullshit feminism...

  • Oram52

    This is actually really good and yet there will be plenty of guys that will still find excuses. Being friendzoned is just too much fun.

    "Drop your 'white knight' armour at the door." .. Guys really need to understand the point you're trying to put across here. When they are thinking the complete opposite.

    "Don’t count on women to be able to read your mind " ... Guys need to sexually escalate or at least let their intentions known.

    " If she says she's not interested... take it as the truth." ... Pretty much sums it up. Time you're glued to her ass hoping she will change her mind (she's not going to), imagine how many other girls they could've talked to in that time. You made the chocie to be friends not her, move on.

    • kaylaS91

      EXACTLY!
      It's both upsetting as well as comedic as to how dramatic all too many guys can be in whimpering how bitch and manipulative women were in getting them to basically cater to each and every wish of theirs, when they're the ones who chose to overlook the perfectly clear signs that she wasn't interested in more in the first place. They're the ones who made a fool of themselves, wishing that doing anything in their power to make the woman happy would make this idealistic fantasy a reality.

  • Evilpumpkinman

    I don'yin the friend zone as I don't have many friends and it makes me more comfortable around women to spend time with them and it's different than having a guy friend

  • "yer' not like my fleshlight-fitted Rainbow Dash toy, who really loves me."

    You.
    Made.
    Me.
    LAUGH SO HARD XD :D XD :D

  • JohnMike999

    You dont get friendzoned, instead you are getting rejected. If she/he doesn't like you then you should simply walk out, you are not obliged to be anyone friend cause they dont like you back. If you feel like that being her/his friend would help you escape the friendzone then you should do her/him a favor and drop the act. If you value friendship, and realize that she/he doesn't have to date you just because you like them back and you simply wants to be friends while finding someone else then it is okay to be friends.

  • Polocrew

    How to not get friend zoned

    Be big jacked athletic like me, For 98% of these nerds that's not possible so stay the fuk in friendzone and leave hot chicks to me

  • sp33d

    Hahaha, the last picture really sums it all up :D Good read, love the sarcasm.

    • kaylaS91

      lol yeah. That's what I find running through my head nearly every goddamned time someones start writing a novel and telling me about all the 'signs' they're getting from the person they're into, and how they feel like they've come to a crossroads as to what they should do.😩

  • PT1911

    *grabs popcorn*

    I just came here for the h8ers.

    *offers popcorn*

    Wants some?

    • kaylaS91

      gladly! 🍻

    • PT1911

      And you brought beer!

    • kaylaS91

      lol yeah, I'm not a big fan of popcorn but can't miss a good opportunity to watch the shit hit the fan. :P

  • JustinX9

    Good take... But I hate labeling women as sluts. Too bad women these days love to reject guys.

    • kaylaS91

      thanks. I agree that exclusively calling women sluts is ridiculous. What does that have to do with women rejecting guys who they're not interested in, though?

    • JustinX9

      Calling sluts and rejecting guys in my opinion are separated or not related. I just noticed girls love to reject guys in my circle of friends.

    • kaylaS91

      ... girls rejecting guys in your circle of friends has nothing to do with them being called sluts. Which you seem to think is connected, based on the opinion you gave above.

    • Show All
  • warrior0345

    So what if I just want a girls love not what's between her legs

    • Bluemax

      An excellent question. Unfortunate condescending tone aside, much of what she says still applies.

      So my question to you, warrior0345, is what are you doing to find love? Message me in private if you like.

      Alas, telling people that they're not entitled to sex/love and how women aren't sex vending machines does absolutely nothing to help the lonely become less lonely. I'll wager you probably never thought you were entitled to sex and didn't think women are sex vending machines. Am I correct?

    • @Bluemax that's correct cause I see women as more then just sexual objects I see them as queens who should be treated and respected as such

    • Bluemax

      Well, to see them as queens might be viewing them as objects of veneration. I think women are just people, and a wide variety of people at that: good, bad, and everything in between.

      Furthermore, treating people with respect isn't necessarily going to make anyone more attracted to you. So the question remains. What are you doing to find love?

  • somanybugs

    Sorry, but this post is garbage.

    • kaylaS91

      no need to apologize. It would be nice if you explained your reasoning instead of just making such a strong statement without backing it up.

  • John_Doesnt

    I friendzone any woman who uses that meme.

    • kaylaS91

      I'm curious as to what other sort of 'standards' you choose to develop interest in or not.

    • My standards are: don't use that Morpheus meme. The End.

  • TayTay21

    Please, God, make it stop...

  • lazermazer

    Great take.

  • SlightlyCrazy

    I'm crying right now

  • blustar

    This myTake made me cringe so hard

  • Cowboy6666

    Great take. Now please don't friend zone me Kayla.

  • Anonymous

    WOW! I'm amazed! Speechless...
    GREAT myTake!!!
    (I loved the first picture you posted)

    • kaylaS91

      Thankyou! Hope you're not being sarcastic about that but assuming you're not, I'm glad you enjoyed what I had to say. 😊

    • Anonymous

      I assure you that I'm not being sarcastic. I don't joke with this stuff. I see lots of clueless guys out there, and not one person has really been able to figure out what is wrong and what can actually be done about it. It was a very well described article. I hope lots of people see it and learn from it.

  • Anonymous

    I agree that if you don't want to be friendzoned, you should just be up front and ask her out to begin with but guys like this aren't expecting you to date them just because they show "basic human decency". It's more the fact that they think actually treating their girlfriends right will win them a date.

    Most guys who cheat in relationships are basically decent humans. Even a lot of guys who physically beat their girlfriends are nice to people in generals. These guys of course don't treat their girlfriends with basic human decency So it's not about "you should date me because I show basic human decency", moreso that "you should give me a chance because I'm usually a kind, sensitive boyfriend."

    Of course this isn't how the world works and it isn't enough for a girl to fall for a guy but it's not hard to at least sympathize with guys who think like this.

    • Anonymous

      So yeah I hope you learned something today

  • Anonymous

    Why do you assume that what's between your legs is valuable?

    • kaylaS91

      Do you live in a cave or something? Or just conveniently blinded to the behaviour of a big chunk of males out in the rl world, 90% of males on GaG?

    • Anonymous

      You didn't answer the question. Do you think your pussy is valuable?

    • kaylaS91

      no, I do not.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    It's all about perceived value. If you do nice things for women without them thinking they've earned it they perceive you as lower to them and are pandering up to them for relationship/sex.

    Hypergany dictate women only have sex with men better than them. Thus, you will be regulated to the friend zone.

  • Anonymous

    Love this post!

    I slightly disagree with number 5, because some girls will reject right away the first time,

    But if you are persistent then they will come around... this doesn't mean stalk the girl, or harass her for a year...

    But read signals and ask her out... if things are going well, and she says no... don't let it phase you... and try one more time...

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