For those who've seen the movie or heard the term, 8 1/2 weeks is often argued as the strongest period of attraction for a couple. This can be good and bad. For most, the first few dates can be fun and there's few ways to really mess up, the problems start to set in the later half where talking, common interests and quality time spent become a huge factor in a lasting relationship.
The following are in my opinion the five biggest mistakes boyfriends make in a new relationship that makes it hard to go past the 2 month mark where the initial raw passion has often subsided, at least enough to see through the fog.
#1. Repetition
An easy mistake to make, creating a routine can be seen as an organized way of maintaining a relationship so it doesn't get out of control like for instance spending the night drinking and making love when one has an exam due the next day. For men, the biggest problem in repetition is the dating scheme. Taking her out to a nice restaurant she's never been to before is a good call, taking her out to the same restaurant 5 times after in a three week span, not so much. While calling her between 11p.m. and midnight to wish her sweet dreams gets the nod from many ladies, doing it every night cries desperate loner. While you may notice repetitive streaks in her routine, like taking you out to the same coffee shop for lunch, remember that women are more likely to have timely habits, and it's a good thing because a woman who is a sucker for breaking habits might not be the most reliable person for a slew of activities you may find require some daily attention.
#2. Letting Yourself Go
So not every man is a specimen for science, but a good tactic to have is to try to improve yourself when you're already hitched. It's true that many married men and women kind of let themselves slide but you're not married, hence the title boyfriend. Letting yourself go can mean gaining a few extra pounds to forgetting to shave and it all adds up. While it's nice not to have to carefully look over your wardrobe and decide colognes for wear, you should keep yourself shining not only for to keep your partner, so that your partner will keep their appearance as well.
#3. She's not your biographer
Women tend to pull out a lot of tales in the first several weeks of dating, but most are not stupid enough to tell you every detail. Men on the other hand tend to think when a woman tells you about her high school sweetheart it's alright to spill the beans on your entire love life. Certainly there is a fair share of women who will think it's romantic or cute that you're opening your life to her, but it leaves you in a vulnerable position where not only a woman may get bored but may expect you to be more subordinate and may give you discomfort.
#4. She's not your buddy buddy
The old saying that your best friend is your lover is more true in a 20 year marriage, where you may have lived through house moving, children and numerous long trips. Not when you've been "hanging out" for say, 5 or 6 weeks. You may have introduced to your friend and vice versa, but you are not friend. You don't kiss your friend and you don't see your friend naked. Also try to consider why women want boyfriends, many girls already have plenty of guys friends, if you want to be one go hop in line.
#5. Don't make it all about one thing
Unless you're just looking for a fling, centering a relationship on sex will almost always lead to the discovery your actual relationship doesn't exist, or that everything you do is associated with the art of making love. Don't get confused, good, frequent love making is ideal for a lasting relationship, but look at it like a meal, perhaps your favorite meal, one you'll want to enjoy and savior, but don't make it your only meal, like in life there's no one dish that you can survive on, unless it's a dish of various vitamins.
The following are in my opinion the five biggest mistakes boyfriends make in a new relationship that makes it hard to go past the 2 month mark where the initial raw passion has often subsided, at least enough to see through the fog.
#1. Repetition
An easy mistake to make, creating a routine can be seen as an organized way of maintaining a relationship so it doesn't get out of control like for instance spending the night drinking and making love when one has an exam due the next day. For men, the biggest problem in repetition is the dating scheme. Taking her out to a nice restaurant she's never been to before is a good call, taking her out to the same restaurant 5 times after in a three week span, not so much. While calling her between 11p.m. and midnight to wish her sweet dreams gets the nod from many ladies, doing it every night cries desperate loner. While you may notice repetitive streaks in her routine, like taking you out to the same coffee shop for lunch, remember that women are more likely to have timely habits, and it's a good thing because a woman who is a sucker for breaking habits might not be the most reliable person for a slew of activities you may find require some daily attention.
#2. Letting Yourself Go
So not every man is a specimen for science, but a good tactic to have is to try to improve yourself when you're already hitched. It's true that many married men and women kind of let themselves slide but you're not married, hence the title boyfriend. Letting yourself go can mean gaining a few extra pounds to forgetting to shave and it all adds up. While it's nice not to have to carefully look over your wardrobe and decide colognes for wear, you should keep yourself shining not only for to keep your partner, so that your partner will keep their appearance as well.
#3. She's not your biographer
Women tend to pull out a lot of tales in the first several weeks of dating, but most are not stupid enough to tell you every detail. Men on the other hand tend to think when a woman tells you about her high school sweetheart it's alright to spill the beans on your entire love life. Certainly there is a fair share of women who will think it's romantic or cute that you're opening your life to her, but it leaves you in a vulnerable position where not only a woman may get bored but may expect you to be more subordinate and may give you discomfort.
#4. She's not your buddy buddy
The old saying that your best friend is your lover is more true in a 20 year marriage, where you may have lived through house moving, children and numerous long trips. Not when you've been "hanging out" for say, 5 or 6 weeks. You may have introduced to your friend and vice versa, but you are not friend. You don't kiss your friend and you don't see your friend naked. Also try to consider why women want boyfriends, many girls already have plenty of guys friends, if you want to be one go hop in line.
#5. Don't make it all about one thing
Unless you're just looking for a fling, centering a relationship on sex will almost always lead to the discovery your actual relationship doesn't exist, or that everything you do is associated with the art of making love. Don't get confused, good, frequent love making is ideal for a lasting relationship, but look at it like a meal, perhaps your favorite meal, one you'll want to enjoy and savior, but don't make it your only meal, like in life there's no one dish that you can survive on, unless it's a dish of various vitamins.
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