Ghosting is Absolutely Okay

[thelastvalkyrie]

This goes for friendships and romantic relationships.

The relationship or friendship does not have to be toxic or abusive in order to ghost someone.

Life is too short to be wasting your time on someone.

If you communicated with your friend or SO and they cause drama every time you bring the issue up why even keep trying. It takes two to make things work. Other than that it's just one sided.

I have seen questions on here where the person dumped their SO but their SO refused. If the person tries to communicate I see nothing wrong with ghosting them if they just don't get it.

I don't care if it's a long term relationship or hell I don't care if you're engaged. What is the point of having the label if you are getting treated like trash?

So unfriend, delete that number, block their social media whatever you have to do I'm all for it.

[Maxine_Payne]

To me, ghosting is when you just suddenly stop all communications and vanish into thin air without any warning. That being said, ghosting is not nice. I have never and will never ghost someone; It's just against my principle as a person. Being someone who has been ghosted before, it hurts and leaves the person in the dark, wondering what they might've said/done wrong. It's cowardly and disrespectful, to say the least. Ghosting someone is like telling them, "Fuck you! I don't give a shit about what you might think or feel!"

I feel that everyone deserves the right to know that we don't wanna talk or see or have anything to do with them anymore. It's then on them how they wanna take that news. If they don't take it well and start putting on a scene/creating drama, then yes, it's alright to back off and maybe even block all communications with them and whatnot (depending on *insanity level* of said person), because by then, it's all on them for not taking it well as we've already done our part in telling them that we don't wanna have anything to do with them anymore.

That's just how I've always felt on this whole subject matter on ghosting.

[Discovery98]

Ghosting is not nice, it is in fact very disrespectful. If you are in an abusive relationship or a similar situation where telling someone it's over directly is dangerous then by all means ghost. That type of relationship was never respectful anyways so being a little disrespectful isn't just ok to protect yourself it is damn well justified. You shouldn't ghost people unless you have to. Now just to be clear, if you tell someone it is over and they keep trying to talk to you ending all communication isn't ghosting. They know you said it was over even if they don't want to accept it. If you just stop talking to someone who hasn't done anything to deserve it without telling them you want to end your relationship with them romantic or otherwise then you are terrible person hands down. It is an insanely disrespectful thing to do and especially bad to do to someone who cares about you.

[coachTanthony]

Ghosting is when you chat with someone or even date someone for a short period of time and then... that's it... you decide you are not interested and instead of explaining why you just say FUCK IT... I am just going to move on. So some may think you don't owe anyone any explanation... so ghosting is okay.. I say.. Would you want that to happen to you.. especially if you are really into the person? or would you want some closure?

[lumos]

Ehh I think you might not fully understand what ghosting means. Ghosting is when you vanish without any explanation from someone's life, having not given any prior hints that you didn't want them in your life anymore. Which obviously leaves the other person extremely confused, wondering why you left and maybe not even fully understanding that you left, at first. Ghosting is very rude and a cowardly way of cutting things off.
If you've been dropping hints to someone that you don't like how things are anymore, or if you flat out tell them you're leaving, then that's not really ghosting. Ghosting is about creating an illusion that everything is fine but then suddenly, with the snap of a finger, vanishing. Without explanation.
I think ghosting is ONLY fine when it's like a mutual thing and the friendship sort of just fades. But even then I wouldn't really call it ghosting, since both people are aware that they're drifting apart and it's like a silent mutual decision.
The reason why ghosting isn't ok is because it's seen as cowardly. If you want to kick someone out of your life or if you want to leave them, you should totally let them know. It's unfair to expect them to just realize that you've left without saying a word, especially if you've been friends/together for a really long time. Unless they're really abusive and dangerous, they deserve an explanation.

[Malikai96]

I've ghosted a former friend once after he became abusive towards me for rejecting his "proposal" that was completely out of the blue. He nearly tore the handle off of the inside of my car door, was screaming and totally unwilling to be reasoned with. Things escalated very quickly and I tried to calm him while he spoke from both sides of the mouth, claiming that he loved me so much while blaming me for ruining his life by rejecting him. It was very childish and disturbing, I couldn't have been more embarrassed to have been in that situation. I told him to get out of the car, which he did after a few seconds. I didn't immediately ghost him, but after he sent some threatening texts my way the following week, again out of the blue, I just proceeded to block him on every messaging account I used and moved on with my life. We had been platonic friends, nothing more, for years without any incident. I think if the person is anything like this, where they've become aggressive, manipulative or downright violent towards you, then ghosting is totally ok to do. I didn't give a shit if it was morally objectionable, I just wasn't going to deal with someone so unpleasant if I didn't have to and had nothing to gain from it. If it's someone who's been good to me as a friend or partner, I wouldn't do it though, I would just tell them I didn't think things were working out and not leave them wondering.

[BrittBratt2416]

Yeah its okay until happens to YOU. No ghosting is not okay and it's definitely not fair to the person either, its leaves the person wondering what the heck they did wrong, what went wrong, and why the person didn't give them a chance to fix it. My brother was ghosted once and he wanted to know what he did wrong so he could fix it next time he went out on a date, the girl never responded to his text. Its just a cowardly thing to do to someone, if your not feeling the person or the relationship anymore then just be honest about it then go your own ways. IF you already TOLD the person how you feel and they still try to hang around, then sure i could understand no longer keeping contact but if you haven't then you need to. It gives that person closure so they can move on easily just as you.

[thelastvalkyrie]

I see your point. I never ghosted a person without communicating with them first. Whenever I stated my intentions clearly they became argumentative. I'm the type of person to give someone a second chance so after the second attempt at communication ghosting is my only option if they start drama again because then I'll cause a commotion

[DeeperMeaning]

I don't think you quite understand what ghosting is. What you've described is providing communication with others and sticking to your guns if there's no improvement or if they refuse to accept your decisions. "Ghosting" is just cutting all communication with someone suddenly, without warning, and for what seems like no reason. Imaging having a new boyfriend and everything is absolutely wondering and then one day he just drops off of the face of the planet with no concern for your emotions or well being. That's what ghosting is.

[DeeperMeaning]

*wonderful

[Wonderer89]

No, it's really not. Your interpretation of ghosting isn't what the word is commonly known to be.

Ghosting isn't telling someone you're ending a friendship or relationship and then following through with that statement. Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication so they don't know what's going on.

If I've told someone I no longer want to see them and they refuse to hear that; it's not ghosting when I block and refuse their communication because I openly told them I was ending it. Same with a friendship. Them refusing to hear what I'm saying doesn't negate that I've said it.
Ghosting means NOTHING has been said or done to indicate a person is unhappy with the association, and it's a weak and crappy way to treat someone

[brocklee]

Ghosting is irresponsible. If things are not working, it is your duty to stand up and state your case. Yes, it will likely end up in an argument and things will be said. But cutting the connection and allowing them to deal with it is the only right thing to do.

The question you have to ask yourself is "Why am I afraid to confront the issue?" Is it because you don't want to feel responsible for hurting them? You are going to do that either way.. and doing it in such a way so you don't have to see/hear it does not change the fact you did it. You are simply being selfish in wanting to do it in such a way that you do not have to experience the conesquences.

[BaileyisDarcy]

I ghosted a friend. Not proud of it but they kinda just never got the hint.

I had tried talking to them. Way back in primary school. Told them i didn't want to be friends with them.

They started crying and the teacher guilted me into staying friends.

She was a manipulative "my way or the highway" kind of chick who thought she was all that. I might have been a naive kid but not so much that i couldnt see when a relationship was unhealthy.
I moved town, never called her and when i could i avoided her phone calls.

She was a sensitive person but not stupid. She got THAT hint eventually. Stopped calling. Though I've been told she asks about me now and then.

[Livinglogical]

Keep tell yourself that sweetheart, I'm sure you'll make lots of friends...

Ghosting is ONLY ok if you have one bad first date and the other person clearly felt the date went bad too.

It is never ok to ghost your friends. Its a horrible thing to do and it makes you a horrible person.

[thelastvalkyrie]

I had shit friends so in my case it was ok. I even communicated with them first but I see your point.

[Lopezz1999]

Ghosting is absolutely not okay.

It's all about respect, and when you ghost someone, there is no respect. I for one know it wouldn't feel nice if I got ghosted without any idea by someone that I knew and cared for. They're no different.

[thelastvalkyrie]

It's ok if the person tried to communicate with you but it causes nothing but conflict and drama. Would you continue to talk with someone who started drama every time you tried to communicate with them?

[Discovery98]

That is when you tell them your friendship is over. If they respond then block them then without saying anything else since you know they saw what you said about ending the friendship. If they don't respond there isn't a need to block them although I would give them a week or two just to be sure they would have read it. You don't have to put up with drama just don't randomly stop talking to people without some kind of warning if they are only an annoyance and not dangerous.

[Xoxoxooo123]

I agree here. Depending on how closely you knew each other, it is absolutely okay to just stop contacting them if you feel like it isn't working out. However out of courtesy I wouldn't just ghost someone after investing a certain amount of time in our relationship. But if they were toxic for me I would

[pretty-kitty]

Ghosting is when you stop talking to a person and they have no idea why so what you're saying isn't exactly ghosting.

Ghosting is not ok, it shows how childish and immature you are and it's a complete lack of respect for the other person whether it be a friend, family member or romantic partner.

[HikerDude]

The reason I do it is to try to minimize hard feelings. I date so many girls that I don't have the time or energy to play Dr. Phil with every one and go through this formal breakup process that will probably only make them hate me in any case. It's easier and nicer just to move out of their lives.

[markymark9090]

Have you no god-damned respect for the feelings of the other person you horrible narcissist?

Shame on you. Classic avoidant behaviour. You fear dealing with someone else in a healthy, adult way so you choose to pretend they don't exist.

Horrible person.

[LittleSally]

I disagree...
If you're an adult person in a relationship with another adult there should be no ghosting of any kind...
If there is - you got your sign you probably shouldn't be with that person since they've got more growing up to do.

[thelastvalkyrie]

I stated that it's ok to ghost if the communication attempts lead to nothing but drama and more conflicts. I don't see the point of going back and forth if the other person is causing drama but that's just me

[LittleSally]

No going back and forth - you can say your piece and be done with it.
Ghosting entails not explaining yourself and everything being 'fine' one minute and the next you never hear or see that person again.

[0112358]

Breaking up then vanishing is not ghosting.

Ghosting is just vanishing.

[Asad1ONE1]

Yes that isn't ghosting 👻 like the others here say. Ghosting is ignoring anyone for know reason. a lot of people do that due to past negative history with the opposite sex.

Oh and by the way...

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[Mahaim123]

I think after you've given a proper explanation then you're going back & forth into nothingness ghosting is acceptable.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Ghosting is when you just leave without explanation, no break up.

But I agree that once you've made yourself clear you are well within your rights to disappear.

[thelastvalkyrie]

That's my point exactly

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

I understand but my point is that then that wouldn't be considered ghosting.

[thelastvalkyrie]

I was agreeing with you. I don't see what the issue is. Seems like you are just trying to start an argument which is childish

[madhatters4]

or just have some cajones and deal with a tough situation. it's cowardice and inconsideration that leads people to ghost people. there is nothing virtuous about it.