Ghosting is Not a Big Deal

[Jeenabenson]

Alright I know that I'm only 16 but I don't want people disregarding my opinions because of my age, therefore, here's what I have to say:

"GHOSTING IS NOT A BIG DEAL"

It's common sense if the other person doesn't respond to you or call you or block you on social media, that they don't want you in their life. If you don't get this, then that's on you.

Not everyone wants a confrontation. Usually people look for a fight when you explain to them that you don't want them in your life. Certainly, I'm not advocating ghosting on people with whom you've shared a lot of history. I certainly wouldn't ghost on my husband.

I've ghosted on guys after a bad first date. They didn't come banging on my house door looking for closure or anything. You should expect closure if the relationship was serious, not if it was just a date. I've ghosted guys on dating site, like I stopped responding to their messages, they got the point and stopped talking to me.

I've had a couple of friends ghost on me. I didn't cry in my room because they stopped talking to me.

See, most people understand if the other person doesn't respond to you, they don't want to talk to you. Not everyone deserves an explanation. Jeez! Are people so sensitive these days?

ghosting

[hype105]

Ghosting is a huge deal. In fact its one of the biggest problems with this generation. It is socially and psychologically destructive to the person being ghosted.
If you are talking to someone for months and then just disappear from their life without any explanation there are serious damage done to a person's psyche. There's a reason psychologists are writing op eds on why ghosting is a problem. Not only does it show that you are to immature to handle a little confrontation, but that you don't actually care about the other person's feelings and that you never did.

If you're on a dating site and have a bad date that's one thing ( if you're 16 I don't even think you can be on one), but ghosting when you have build history is a problem. Talking consistently for one month is enough to build attachment.

But it's not entirely your fault. We can blame ghosting and the status of today's dating culture on terrible "soft skills" (communication) and a total disregard for the value of other people. Both of which go back to what we are taught

[Jeenabenson]

I’m not on life support because my friends ghosted me. Jeez!

[Rosita_518]

I totally agree. ghosting is a huge deal for a person who cares about you. If you feel it's no big deal, it means you just don't care enough about this person. I've chatted almost every day with a boy online and shared our life with each other. and he ghosted me when I checked in on him to see if he's doing well in his university. It took me almost three months to recover. Such a terrible feeling

[Lightning8]

I'll be addressing ghosting from an actual relationship. The whole point of civility is to be able to have fundamentally difficult conversations while peacfully coexisting. It's meant so that even in the face of deep disagreement, we can still engage. Breakups are supposed to be unpleasant for all those involved. In any relationship it is inevitable that you'll have to put your wants aside for your partner at some point. So it shows lack of character to put all or most of the emotional burden of a breakup on the blindsided partner. Most if not all relationships are not Disney fairytales. So if one is not mentally prepared to breakup in a civil manner face to face (which is the way the relationship began), personally I don't think they are mature enough to handle a relationship in the first place.

[VIVANT]

I agree!’

[Jeenabenson]

I just said, you should expect closure if the relationship was sure not after a bad first date.

[Anonymous]

You know, it's just common, simple manners to give an excuse for one's behavior.
Ghosting is stupid.
It's rude, just to ignore someone.
Just send a message explaining why and say goodbye, easy as that.

You just made yourself look incredibly stupid. Hehe, good job.

[Jeenabenson]

No I’m not and if you’re so proud of your opinion, why are you anonymous? I’m not. I stand by my views.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm so tired of this questions.
Reasons I am anonymous:
-Can't be taken out of context if shown up on the "citat/opinion" thing.
-Avoid people to look at questions I've answered.
-People can get an idea of how I am as a person, etc.

I also stand by my views, but why do I need to answer non-anon then?

[Ellie-V]

No one is entitled to an explanation or even an extended hand of politeness if the MUTUAL feelings aren’t there.
Move on with your life and stop living in a victim mentality, it’s not like they raped you or robbed your home.

[Jeenabenson]

Lmao right?

[LTHardy]

Sad mentality to go about things

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I don't disregard your opinion but I give it less weight because you have had very little experience in life. All of us have endured being younger and having our opinions taken lightly and, when we got older, we understood why that happened.

2. Of course, if someone ghosts me, I understand they don't want to see me again. . . unless they have experienced a sudden tragedy n their life and are momentarily distracted, or perhaps in the hospital, etc. After that realization, I want to know WHAT happened. Did I say something insensitive? Did someone tell her something that changed her opinion of me?

3. "Usually people look for a fight when you explain to them that you don't want them in your life." If you think break ups usually result in confrontations, your lack of experience is showing. Most break ups between mature adults do not result in fights, weapons being pulled, people going to jail, etc.

4. "Not everyone deserves an explanation. Jeez! Are people so sensitive these days?" Everyone deserves an explanation (even if it only a one sentence, "I don't feel any chemistry between us.") Jeez! I'm glad EVERYONE is not that rude.

5. Karma will catch up with you one day.

[VIVANT]

I agree!

[weasley8]

If you really think of her as a child, and someone who lacks experience, then why are you bothering to argue? I would say think telling a child that karma will catch up to them is pretty immoral.

[OlderAndWiser]

@weasley8 I did not talk down to her at all and I do not dismiss her as a child. She is capable if listening, understanding, and responding, if she chooses to do so. I don't think that what I said what an argument; I merely expressed my opinions. Reminding someone that treating others badly is likely to have consequences down the road is a part of advice that I give many people, both young and old.

I do understand that you are close to the Asker in age and you may feel a need to protect her, but I was not in attack mode. I mentor college age students every week and I try to treat people in this age range with respect, and not like children.

[VIVANT]

Yes I agree it was respectfulness made legitimate points, he simply wasn’t coddling her , and she is 16.. hardly a child.

[Jeenabenson]

You haven’t changed my mind. I still stand by not everyone deserves any explanation. I’ll continue to ghost.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you are very young, you make dating all about you and no one can convince you that it should be any different than that. When you get older, hopefully you will realize that responding to other people's needs is an important social skill and you will acquire it in some way. . . or you won't. Some people never do.

[weasley8]

@VIVANT There's a difference between not coddling someone and threatening them with bad karma. Also, telling a young person that they don't know what they're talking about because they're young isn't usually very effective. Even if the lack of experience argument makes sense, it doesn't work, because if they are truly inexperienced, then they have no context by which to judge your argument.

[OlderAndWiser]

@weasley8 I did not "threaten" her with karma, because it is not my decision to inflict it upon her. However, if you need to demonize me, proceed.

[weasley8]

There are various definitions of the word threaten. The one I was using has nothing to do with whether or not it's your decision. The fact of the matter is, you were saying that if she did x y or z, bad things would happen to her, when in fact you have no way to prove that.

[OlderAndWiser]

@weasley8 Understanding that our actions in life have consequences is not a matter which requires exacting proof and it is not a threat; it is merely a recognition of reality,

Continue to demonize me so that you can create - at least in your mind - a situation which requires you to rescue someone.

[Jeenabenson]

Lol I’m not offended because I don’t believe in Karma.

[sonnysunshine]

There is going to come a day the take owner will get ghosted and she will feel the anger being rudely disrespected for no reason.

But she is showing an ass backward trend with younger people. I was ghosted after a fucking 9 month relationship. The girl was young (21). But still old enough to know better. But it will come around to bite her in the ass.

[weasley8]

I don't think she needs to be rescued. I just think you're being condescending toward her. The fact that you believe in karma doesn't mean that she does, and even if she did, you have no way of knowing that that would effect it. But it's irrelevant, because she doesn't. There's no reason to bring your religious beliefs into it. It's the same as a Christian telling someone that they will go to hell for something. It's uncalled for, and does nothing to further their point. It's simply a way to try to incite fear in the person they're talking to.

@sonnysunshine She clearly stated that she's not talking about long term relationships. She's talking about after one date. Yes, it's rude, but there are far worse things in this world, and in many cases ghosting makes sense. There have been times when I've feared for my life around a guy, and in those cases, the best case scenario is the one in which I never need to interact with him again. There are extremes in both directions.

[sonnysunshine]

@weasley8 I’ve been ghosted after weeks and even months of talking to a woman. I noticed it’s gettng more common. It’s extremely selfish and cowardly.

Now it’s its just one date that’s a different story. It’s still very rude but I don’t expect much from anyone at that point.

But this girl is going to get pumped, dumped and ghosted from a guy she will really like one day. That will shake some sense into her hopefully.

[OlderAndWiser]

@sonnysunshine And that is the karma I am talking about. It is not a religious concept such as @weasley8 seems to believe. It is just the idea that your actions will have consequences for you in life and often, it comes in the form of being mistreated exactly as you have mistreated others. Obviously, you understand the idea.

[sonnysunshine]

Guys won’t trust her when the word gets around.

Again she’s young and dumb. This will hopefully change

[OlderAndWiser]

@sonnysunshine We were all young and dumb when we were young! :)

[Janncis]

@OlderAndWiseri totaly agree to you, even if its just, it won't work out. Every one deservs to be told it. @Jeenabenson you may not realise it, but some people may be worried that something bad happened. So if someone you gosted is still trying to get in contact, is it so hard to say it won't work out sorry?
Beeing decent human been isn't so hard. As @OlderAndWiseri said, as you get older breakups and even bad dates ted to become more civilised. Its not only about wasting your time, its also about not wasting there's.
Well anyway, you can do what you want, but things have tendency to come around.

My policy is to say it as it is, not using phone and net. at least i think its more fair to them. Or it just my ego.

[Lela247]

@weasley8 he did nothing wrong. Children take up a lot of information as they’re young and as they get older, what they take in can become slower. Just because she’s young doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell her how it is r

Ghosting is a ride move to pull on just anyone

[Logorithim]

It's bad manners, really rude, unless someone has treated you badly or has threatened you, in which case it's completely understandable.

[Cristo123]

I totally agree. If someone says something nice to you or something and they've gone to the effort to think of something (sincere) to say, it's just plain rude. Even if it's awkward for some people, who cares? Is it the end of the world?

[Staiby]

I ghosted a guy who made me really uncomfortable and who I just found disgusting. We ran into each other and spoke and he seemed normal enough, not really my type but I didn't have a boyfriend, and we started talking on facebook and he just came onto me really strong. heavily complimenting me which I hate.

(Does anyone understand? In a conversation when all the person does is compliment you, you spend the whole time being fake, putting on a high voice saying "awww thank you" because it's what you're supposed to do when given a compliment. then there's no chance for a conversation with some genuine bonding. and personally I'm just annoyed at having to constantly fake gratitude for compliments I'm sick of hearing)

We made plans to meet up and sex was to be expected and I really didn't want to go so I lied and said I just got my period and he's response was "You can still suck my dick though" and then that was the last straw and I just ghosted him and then for the next year I was getting message after message, some getting really aggressive and frustrated that I wasn't responding. I got unsolicited dick pics and a photo of him blowing a kiss to the camera which was just fucken weird. He didn't live far from me and he was driving past in his car and saw me get off the bus, it was a small road so we were really close to each other, and he was staring at me from the window with a grin on his face like "there you are". I still remember just how unashamedly he was making eye contact and it was terrifying. He turned his car around and parked at the opening of the street where I lived and I was too intimidated to cross but he eventually left, But then I was out walking and I saw a tattooed arm hanging out from a different car and was worried it was him. and then when I got close to my street I saw the car there and when I walked past it to get home he winded the window down and called my name so then I knew it was him. eventually he stopped sending me messages and he mentioned he was moving soon "unless you give me a reason to stay" (fucken creep).

I was intimidated by him and terrified of him. I think I was justified in ghosting this guy, he wasn't boring or uninteresting, he made me really uncomfortable and he disgusted me. That was maybe gut instinct screaming to me to get away from this guy and I was just proven that this guy was a creep who will get aggressive and creepy and will stoop to stalking a woman in his car who ghosted him months and months ago.

[NatashaJ]

Guys are like this to me too always sexualizing me when I don't want it nowadays I tend to be aggressive to get them to fuck off I got stalk a few months ago and it go to the point where I caught him rolling up in front of my house to talk to me until I cuss him out and went back inside message him speak to me one more time I am going to the police about him. He stop right away, girl you have to speak it up you know if they are crazy when they don't listen and more they keep doing it just cuss them out and block them that way you have proof you don't condone this behaviour if you ever have to go to police about the person.

[Staiby]

@NatashaJ I was worried if I blocked him it would set him off and he would be even more aggressive if he saw me again in person since he doesn't have that the Facebook communication with me anymore. He never set out to stalk me. It was more opportunistic because he would only stalk me if he saw me while I was out. He lived closed.

I've become a lot less nice, I know what you mean. When I don't enjoy talking to a guy because he's being lame or too strong I just stop talking to them INSTANTLY. My friend had a recent bad experience with a guy and I kept telling her "I wish I learnt this earlier: "Stop being nice"." But now she's just had it with meeting guys and is no longer seeking FRIENDSHIPS even with anyone with a penis. I'm pissed off at how this asshole treated her. He'd get angry at her when she spoke up about how uncomfortable he made her feel when he came on too strong. He'd tell her that he did nothing wrong and it was all just her perception basically. fucken asshole

[NatashaJ]

Yup these men only do shit to benefit them they don't care about others only themselves and they always dense in head and stupid as fuck and not realize what they doing is wrong.

[aj_snow]

You dear people tell me? If I'm spinning my arm, do others deserve or have right not be hit by spinning arm?
If You don't want someone in Your life or vice versa, is an explanation deserved or rightful to have and for what reason? Truth simply is, people's perception of truth is making a difference. Is one unanswered message enough? how many unanswered messages are enough? If I get a number from a lady and she doesn't respond immediately and I didn't set up everything for a date, should I go for another girl?
Cause she doesn't want me? Why would she give me a number? Should I try one more time, am I a creep for that, is she a creep for giving a number and not answering? Absolutely everything can seem like two people are going in right or good direction and than you hit a wall.

by the way, one girl gave me a number, explanation; it's easier to communicate since, dating site mssg sometimes late, blabla...
She is 90km away from me, first few messages... and I try to call. She doesn't answer but writtes back very soon... and totally cool to communicate on writing mssg. I was polite, she was to... she answered only one call...
There was also a bit push-pull talk... but in the end we didn't go on a date... we simply stopped.

The wiser I get, do dumber I get?

I went out on salsa night... when it comes to dance, you can start new adventure even, without saying a word and just start dancing. Now 7/10 or 70/100 girls will go with me the moment we join our hands n smile other WONT!!! I believe I don't deserve or have right for an explanation. Not all the time and not from everyone and the same goes for me. We're so fuckin different. What works here won't work there. Never ever harm other, but if u get few easy dates with few different people and have fun for few months, and few more months a relationship it doesn't determine your view of relations with other people. It's not settled in stone. Those 3 out of 10 girls that didn't dance with me... mAybe they would dance if I tried a bit more, tried a different approach, etc.

Message can never ever give a clear picture as talking in person.

Always expect the unexpected.

[Alice2398]

I feel the same as you on this issue. In my past I'd easy trust people and was friendly and nice to everyone and some people turn out to be crazy and if I threatened to leave or not be friends with them anymore they just go even more crazy so in the end I'd just leave and avoid them as much as possible.

I've been ghosting my ex best friend of 12 years for the past 5 years because she lies about being rape and she even accused my second cousin of rape so she could emotionally blackmail me into staying friends and then she spread it around school as everyone hated me and no one else would be my friend but her. I knew she was lying because she said he did when she was five and he was 10 because my cousin is lonely a year older than us. She'd always make bad life decisions and played the Victim and I was sick of it.

She was like a stister to me and it was to painful to see her turn into such a scum bag and me trying to help and fix things for her to constantly throw it back in my face. So me and my other best friend invited her around for a little goodbye party and we had movies and dinner and then we never got in contact with her again because we both wanted to end things on a high before ghosting her as horrible as it sounds we tried and tried so much to stop her from doing bad things and she was selfish and ungrateful so we had to let her go.

[Wolframium]

I feel like religios fundameltalist fighter now. I feel the urge to fight this ideology and kill everyone having it. It is so wrong, I don't even have words for it.
I wish you, from all of my black, cold heart, that everyone will ghost you. Nobody will talk to you and you'll never get any explanation. For your entire life. For you to see, how fucked up this is.
You see, if someone doesn't reply, then…that's it. I don't know anything else besides that. No, no, shut up, those are just assumptions. You're assume that. And guess what. You might be wrong.
Ghosting is spineless coward behaviour.
Date went not so good? Cool. Tell him that. Then, by all means, stop talking to him, because you're too close minded to be opened to the possibility that you just need to know the other person better, or you can just talk for a while online, etc.
Or, what about if someone just…forgot to answer, or something like that? Busy life. Then you asume they're not interested. In Trump word: wrong.
Yeah. You're only 16. But…aren't you more like…8? Because even back then, I knew that communication is important. Just stop answering is not the option.
People thinking ghosting is an option, those the ones making things worst for the civilized rest of us.
Yeah, and you accusing others of being sensitive. :-D Yet, you say you don't want confrontation. :-D Or people like you. Who is the sensitive one, again? Me? No. I'm pissed about spreading this attrocious and unacceptable behaviour. WTF is even wrong with you?
As I said. I only wish you everyone in your life will ghost you, forever. And just wait, what toll it takes on you. Guy you like? Not answering. Why? You don't know. You might think you do, but you don't.

[Jeenabenson]

Proved my point about being sensitive. People have ghosted me and I didn't ask for an explanation. just accepted it and moved on.

[Wolframium]

Have you even read my comment?
You're the one sensitive. Not confronting. Just "reading between lines". Yeah. :-D Just wait. :-)
Your age is really showing. You're so wrong, that there should be another word for it.
Keep your sick, twisted ideas to yourself, please. People need to man up, start talking, not just bitch out and not responding.

[Jeenabenson]

Because you wrote a whole essay that's why you're sensitive.

[Wolframium]

OK. Couple of points.
0: If this is essay for you, I feel sorry for you. "Oh, long text." Cry me a river… And read it again.
1: Have you even read that? I said I'm pissed. Not sensitive.
2: As you might've guessed, this topic is dear to me.

[Jeenabenson]

I was exaggerating about the essay comment of course but myTake wasn't meant to be offensive in any way. Sensitive people get upset over things like you, so you're sensitive.

[Wolframium]

Your myTake contain some sick ideology. Of course I'm gonna be against it.
It's like if someone told you, that babies should be thrown to piles and burned. How would you react?
You think I'm sensitive. You don't know me. You're unwilling to imagine you just might be wrong. God, this is just one big trainwreck.

[Jeenabenson]

You react very emotionally, my friend. And you're comparing apples to oranges. I didn't advocate violence of any sort like burning babies. Stopping contact with someone isn't remotely to violence and it's not a sick ideology. Sensitive people get upset easily and react emotionally, like you.

[Wolframium]

We aren't friends. I'm not freinds with people, who advocate for such attrocious acts. It's just too sick for me.
Yeah, it was analogy. You've missed the point completely.
OK, I think we've reached some infinite loop here. I just might find something better to do.

[noubigdumbdumb]

Look, ghosting is completely appropriate in cases such as they've made rude comments towards you, made advancements towards you that you don't want, stalking, and the fact that you've already told them CLEARLY that you want to stop. Ghosting is completely fine in these sort of situations; justified, and no one would blame you.

but if someone just took you out on a bad date for example and you didn't want to see them again; be a bit more mature and just tell them that you wouldn't like to see them again politely.

[Nostalgiasteve]

Hey, I get you. Like if a girl is interested in someone then yeah they'll usually respond to stuff fast (and the opposite is true). I'm gonna be a little contrarian here and say that honestly I don't give your opinion any less weight b/c of your age, thanks for sharing this.

[Jeenabenson]

Thanks for being respectful

[BuchitaBuchys]

I kinda agree that it should be obvious that they're not interested, but it is rude to just cease conversation without word. I understand that some people hate confrontation, but it is a part of life. It doesn't have to be terrible and scary, especially if the confrontation is over the phone or through text especially, there won't be face contact.

Ghosting is only ok if they've been inappropriate or gross. But if they were being nice and the conversation was good, I don't think it's ok to just cut them off without warning.

[LTHardy]

Somewhat agree with you

[Anonymous]

LOL you wouldn't ghost a husband? okay kewl..
Strictly speaking, if you did he would probably call the police because he would have thought something terrible happened to you.

Ghosting after 1 date, if you haven't slept together, is fine and not really ghosting.

Beyond that, its rude and cowardly. "A lot of people don't like confrontation"... no, a lot of people, including you, are cowards.

But enough me judging you, seriously, think of it like this: When you end something well, you don't waste their time and you can potentially give them an important memory that they will build off of. I remember all of the conversations I've ever had breaking up with someone, and they've all meant a lot to me, even if they were sad moments.

Don't be rude, don't be a coward, don't be a fucking Gen Z pile of trash.

[Jeenabenson]

Nope. I’m not sentimental like you.

[NatashaJ]

Ghosting is rude but to be honest we all need to stop caring about these people. Don't let ghosting get to you it makes it worst. I been ghost a lot in this year and last year I notice when I stop giving a fuck (this year) most of the ghosters come back trying to talk to me. I am the ghoster now and I ghost them or cuss them off for their bs. The other ones where only ever interested in sex and if they don't come back good if they came back it just for sex. Remember if someone ghost you they basically telling you they don't like you enough and if they come back they are planning to use you! either emotionally, sexual or get a date because now no one wants to date their asses anymore.

[lightbulb27]

I think it is insensitive and rude. It may be necessary, but realize... when you attract someone, you've turned on some powerful drugs in his brain and he is all excited. Then you disappaer... what is he to think? It is really not good social etiquette is it?
Does the person not care?
Did they die? - there's a good short movie on something like that from WWII.
Do they not care?
Did they switch phones?

Communication today is beyond awful...10x worse than when I was your age and we had to twirl these numbers to dial a phone or write a note card. That was better. I'd re-think how you want your world to be, rather than accept the inconsiderate behavior handed to you.

[winterfox10]

It's a really immature way to deal with the situation, but you're right, it's not that big of a deal at your age. You are building a bad habit though. When you get older, people make very important, potentially life altering decisions based on other people's actions. Having someone ghost you after you have made a decision like that is very very very not cool. I have literally lost thousands of dollars because of ghosting, I have seen people's lives get destroyed, quite literally because someone ghosted on them.

[Anonymous]

Ghosting after you do something with a person and led them on is forever wrong. It hurts and it leaves confusion and it’s just wrong. If you’re just talking and there’s really no relationship, I see no wrong in it. I’m not gonna sit a guy down that I just met and had two conversations with and be like “hey, we’re not working out”. First of all, I feel like he’d look at me like I’m crazy because I’d breaking off something that wasn’t even anything to begin with. I’ve ghosted but just because I wasn’t interested anymore. It wasn’t after 5 months of talking either. It was after 3 or so weeks. I didn’t want to hangout and I didn’t feel like I needed to explain because the silence spoke for itself

[Anonymous]

Ghosting is understandable in early stages of meeting someone if you just don't feel anything but when you've been dating a few months and you've really started to fall for someone and then they decide to ghost you, thats shit, Ghosting is so stupid and rude like it's just easier to be honest with the other person. I've ghosted guys in the beginning of dating, like before the first date just because there was nothing interesting, once you hit that second date that's when you need to be honest and not just ghost someone, it can really hurt someone who might have seen more in the relationship than you did.

[MementoMori_]

Couldn't have said it better. If someone doesn't get the hint, they are not worth talking to again anyway. The takeaway is don't get so attached to someone while you are still in the potential "ghosting phase" of the relationship that it would devastate you if they ghost you. That way if it happens to you you won't be so upset. Sure, it's still a little disappointing no matter what, but if it really destroys you, then you gave up too much to the relationshop too soon.

[Anonymous]

Ghosting People is not normal behavior. People who are immuture, lack empathy, low self confidence or are insecure usually do that. Normal people say straight up in a Nice way "I don't wanna be your friend and more" or slowly stop talking to that person. You don't from Contact from no where in all the fun. But slowly Walking away is normal

[Daniel3035]

Yh but if someone doesn’t want to be a part of your life why don’t you be the mature one and have the ovaries to tell them that? Because your a coward and don’t have what it takes to function in this world instead you would rather ignore it hoping your problem will disappear a problem you created but can’t finish. What if that person you ghosted thinks your not replying because something happened to you like an accident or they’re confused as to where your at or think you may be busy. All of which could have been avoided if you just said things aren’t working out but your too much of a coward to do that not surprised you girls don’t have the ovaries to even approach a guy so why would a simple text surprise me.

[loveslongnails]

In my parents' day, it would be the same as not taking someone's phone call after a first date. It's simply a case of bad manners. It's easier today than ever before though, because before you'd actually have to TALK to the person to nicely tell them you're not interested. NOW, all you have to do is send a text to nicely tell them you're not interested. How tough is THAT? Ghosting is just... rude. You're right not to care if that's how a person handles things, but I don't think it's the best way to do it.

[inlovesince092111]

I think ghosting only becomes a big deal when you have history with someone. If you have been on at least two dates with someone and led them to believe that everything was good and then ghosted, then that's a big deal. If you only have just messaged back and forth getting to know each other and you can tell it's not going anywhere then it is okay to "ghost" someone.