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Why Men And Women Can’t Be “Just Friends”! (Page 5)
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Interesting Take, I guess not always but sometimes one or the other might develop feelings for each other
What about lesbian women and gay men? Not everyone is straight
In the beginning of his MyTake he mentioned he only talked about heterosexual people.
I agree. I think in most male/female friendships the guy would be willing to hookup with his female friend if the opportunity presented itself.
wtf... other people pretty much said the same thing, but didn't get any downvotes =.=
I wouldn't get too worked up over the downvotes. Those girls are probably just having a hard time coming to terms with the truth. Cowards.
@vyvyn exactly
it depends how you look into mirror. it all depends on type of personality. I tried to be friends with girls but every different girl did interfere with past relationship. so that why i am friends with animals now.
My best friend for 27 years is a man.
Been giving him blue balls for 27 years.. Now thats just cruel 😂😂
@lord_chilled I'm quite sure I haven't. There are men capable of seeing women as people in this world.
Most of us do actually. But sometimes you guys make us horny too. Just because we fibd you sexy doesn't mean we dont see you as normal people anymore (with a few exeptions here and there)
@lord_chilled I just dont find the like button for your first comment. hahalol
@harryish lol we can't like the replies to comments
@lord_chilled I know, that was sarcastic.
@harryish Yes, and finding me sexy doesn't mean you can't be a regular, every day friend. I find several of my platonic friends attractive as potential partners - because I genuinely like them and I can imagine that I would like them if we had more. But that doesn't mean I hit on all of them, or let sexual feelings for them become an obsession.
But when it comes down to my best friend and I - we are like brother and sister - family members. We're deeply engaged in one another's lives.
Men are capable of seeing women in other ways than sexual. Just like women are.
I am a men ask me. And there are exceptions as mentioned at the start of this mytake.
@harryish I just think this take is full of cliches, and not very high minded. Perpetuates some stupidity actually.
Yeah people view are different.
You just contradicted yourself. You said that just because soneone finds you attractive, doesn't make them something other than friends. You also said that you found your PLATONIC friends attractive. Im sorry, but that is not pure friendship. Friendship is about having a deep bond with someone, that you DONT wanna fuck. Its about being attracted to someone that you aren't attracted to (sexually).
I like some of my bros more than i have luked some exes, doesn't mean i can make my bros my partners (ugh)..
Well, either way, as you said when you find friends attractive, thats where problems happen and thats how people cheat.
Id never be with a woman that has male friends for this reason
@lord_chilled That's YOUR rules about friendship. You wanna set some arbitrary rule about what true "pure" friendship is like life is that black and while, and then declare yourself incapable of being truly a friend to women because your dick gets in the way, fuck, knock yourself out dude. I have, my whole life, created unique, deep friendships with men. You don't want that kind of friendship with a woman? Hey, good for you, do what you want. You wanna live in this world of absolutes, cliches, and inflexible attitude - by all mean.
Maybe YOU can't be a friend to women. But many men can and do, while keeping their dicks in check. I get to enjoy friends like that every day of the week. It's your loss, not mine.
Yeah, you do you.
As for your buddies, its their loss, not mine.
They are the ones that have to keep their dicks in check.
I dont. I can have the possibility of being romantic or sexual with a girl, and if she doesn't want to, i dont have to keep around any longer.
As a man, this makes me a lot more happy and i have zero pent up frustration, which i can't say for the "friendzoned" guys.
I guess its different for girls, so have fun with your version of friendship
Milecake: If you dont know what its like to be a man then please dont say things about men. Me and this lord guy knows better about a man than you with your life observations. Life observations are never above the experiences/struggles we men have. So, dont say anything about them.
And we can talk decently too.
@harryish What have I said about men here, except that men and women can be friends?
I mean you are saying that a man can be friends with a woman. But Ask us men, it ain't that simple. It's complicated and you must have to understand about what its like being a man.
@harryish Dude, my best friend is a man. So clearly it IS possible.
Yes, even I am friends with some girl to but that doesn't keep me to think a bit sexually fir them. I feel myself sexually attracted to them and I just can't help it because all men are wired like this but I never do any wrong behaviour with them and never express my sexual desire to them in order to not ruin the friendship. I help them, i respect them but If I tell them this they will probably end the relation. And its not just me, most guys struggle with such behaviour.
@harryish So why the fuck are you arguing with me? You don't even disagree with me. Guess what, you have female friends who are attracted to YOU, but they somehow manage to be just a regular friend because, for whatever reason, sex or a relationship wouldn't work. But somehow we don't go around like this is some sort of problem, or let it stop us from being just a friend.
I am just saying that if you finding someone attractive by their nature and by their physical features and looks or attractive sexually are two different things. Friends are not supposed to think sexually about each other in any way, but this is not possible because of the nature of us men and women. Which shows that a man and women can't be just friends. If they are, then both should be asexual. Either a gay and a lesbian, man with man, asexual man and asexual woman, woman with woman, can become truly be friends as their friendship is completely without a doubt platonic. While gay and straight girl, lesbian and straight man, man and woman, can't be just friends as one of them might develop some feelings for another. So the friendship is not all Platonic. Their is slight chance of sexual attraction.
@harryish Who made up that rule? That friends can never be attracted to each other and that automatically nullifies their friendship and means they aren't actually friends at all? YOU don't have to live by that standard. I sure don't. You just keep repeating the same mindless cliche. Meanwhile, you lose out on great friendships you could have. How totally stupid.
Yeah they men and women can be friends too based on what you are saying, but the slightest bit of sexual attraction will turn that friendship into some more.
@harryish No it won't. Adult people are capable of self control, and also respecting someone they find attractive enough that it doesn't ever even get weird.
I'm telling you, this is an actual reality I live in, on this Earth, day to day. I have really incredible male friends who are not attracted to me, really great ones who are, and it works just fine because we're not barnyard animals. Actual, meaningful friendships with women are awesome, and they make you a better man. Your dick does not actually make all the decisions for you, and you can actually change your attitude to see women more three-dimensionally, like actual people, not some weird "other" that can only be related to on a sexual level.
You can't go against the nature. Its how nature has made us. We feel, we feel thats it. Its not in our hands to think with mind or dicks. Follow Jim Carrey.
@harryish It's natural to feel attracted to various people. I'm not condemning that. It's unnatural to be unable to relate to women in any manner but sexually - that's a socially constructed cancer. You guys are standing around saying you aren't capable of being friends with women - that's actually a disability, not natural, and not everyone suffers from it. In the long run, it makes men's lives more lonely when they don't challenge themselves to go a little deeper, consider the complexity of human relationships, and just fall back on a lazy cliche that isn't even true.
Seriously, if you want a life where you can't form satisfying relationships with women you aren't fucking, you are welcome to it. But you're selling yourself and women short. You lose in this scenario. Hopefully you don't let this defect of character cause you to mistreat any women.
And I don't see either of you arguing with @jacquesvol, who said about the same thing I have.
Well, I just dont like frienship with women as it has lots of restrictions to. With male freind, I can kick him, beat him, squeeze his balls, abuse him in a funny way, and the best thing he won't even mimd about that. Kinda relation where is everything is open and crystal clear, we can share almost everything. While this openness we can't have with females, there are certain restrictions and limitation to be friends with females. We can't share them everything, there are some things which we can't share with women at any cost.
@harryish First of all, it is inappropriate for you to be assaulting your male friends, and that is not a virtue. There are limits to all social relationships. But what you are really saying is not that women and men can't be friends, but that you perceive friendship with women as being of no value to you. That's just, well, incredibly sad for you, because you are missing out on so many fascinating, incredible people you could know. You are ignoring half your community because no one ever taught you that women are actually incredible people to know. We are industrious, creative, intelligent, strong people with so much wisdom - but you have decided you don't value any of that. But this also means, you shouldn't date women, or get into long term relationships with us, because you don't respect us or even like us much. You are entitled to see women how you choose, but if you really don't like us, you really should not expect to be welcomed to have sex with us either.
I think you are perceiving things wrong. I dont wanna discuss more. When comments are made personally and not in general.
@harryish this woman doesn't understand male nature at all or she doesn't try or want to. She just wants us to rather live in her own deluded gynocentric view of society. Very basic female attitude, which is why i dropped the argument.
" In the long run, it makes men's lives more lonely when they don't challenge themselves to go a little deeper, consider the complexity of human relationships, and just fall back on a lazy cliche that isn't even true.
you are missing out on so many fascinating, incredible people you could know. You are ignoring half your community because no one ever taught you that women are actually incredible people to know."
classic shaming techniques, implying WE are the ones missing out. And the best is this:
"if you really don't like us, you really should not expect to be welcomed to have sex with us either."
Oh boy, 😂😂 it doesn't surprise me that she thinks she knows more about men that we do, but the real icing on the cake is that she thinks we shouldn't be
F*king women if we aren't being friends with women.
I. e guys like us dont deserve sex, aka if men dont try and mold themselves into womens view of the world, we shouldn't get sex.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but guys like us get way more sex than you male friends would , @MlleCake.
I dont fuck around a lot, because i prefer to have an emotional connection with a girl, rather than hookuo, and im a strong advocate for prolife as well as safe sex, abd taking responsibility for your actions. That kinda shit doesn't fly too well with people who are into hookup culture. In other words, while i habe the mentality to be a player, i dont have the makings of one. However , some of my male friends, who dont have the same convictions as me, but also believe in males and females not really being friends , have numbers nearing triple digits. i can attest to that, i have seen them in action. Why?
Because they dont waste their time befriending women, they only go after what they want,
Wether thats a relationship, or just plain sex. They aren't limiting themselves, they are being what they wanna do as men.
Your male friends are beings that cater to women, and cater to the system. They are the only ones getting the short end of the stick here, but you dont really realize that. See they have to hold back, we dont.
I hold back as well, but because of ny own morality, because i dont want my potential kids to be aborted, or have them taken from me.
If my conditions are met i go for it. And im ok with that. I guess your friends can be okay with what they got, personally, i find it pathetic.
And i dont reply to jacquesvol because i have argued many times with him, and the guy is a self hater. Lost case for me. wasn't sure about you.
@harryish , im sure like most , you already know instinctively how this thing basically works, but ill just write it down so you can remind yourself of how it is, if you need it.
there's around 5% of the male population that women want, men that women actually desire. Those guys are always gonna be the top blokes.
Women see these men to be superior to them and look up to them. they may go on about being equal and all that self respecting talk, but they will let those guys get away with a lot of things, even treating them bad, or using them.
Then there is the other 95% of men. They consider them, to be below women. As in having less value. If this is represented as a pyramid based on value, the top 5% makes up the top tip, women make up the middle, and the other 95% men make up the bottom part, split as 3 categories.
The guys at the top get worshipped and chased by women, while the bottom men worship and chase women.
Women will expect most men, to cater to their needs, this
isn't their fault, it just happens because a lot of men do it instinctively and they affirm their ideas on how we are.
So, if she doesn't think of you as a high value male, she will try to shame you and put you down in the bottom part where she thinks we belong. I genuinely think that sometimes they dont even realize that they do that. This is why women friendzone men, reject otherwise great men, and shame promiscuous men (if the promiscuous man isn't high value in their eyes, aka he doesn't deserve all that pussy)
In their opinion, they are above us, therefore, we need to cater to them and fullfill their expectations, if we wanna be with them. Because after all they are stepping down and "settling" for us. As a man, this is the worst thing than can hapoen to you, i promise you that, you are better off being single.
What every man needs to do it pierce trough this "women level" ignore and avoid their shaming and pushing, pass all the shit test and get to the top. Or at least try to
Not every man is built to be a top bloke. Most have the potential, but there's often something holding many of us back, but we have to try. If you can't get to that small percentage of top guys, dont worry, as you are trying, you can get to a level where you are seen as a quasi-state of being equal to women. At this level you can change their 2 dimensional worldview to a 3d one, where you can stand off to a girl, be interesting, unique and different. She will see you as not a guy she can walk all over, a man that doesn't take shit. You may not be the top 5% , but you will be attractive in her eyes. And thats enough, you will have her focussed her eyes on you, on an equal level, instead of upwards at the top blokes. If you play it right you can have a successful relationship with a woman, on a level with pretty much equal respect for each other. Thats good enough, but in order to get there, you will have to try to be a top bloke. Only if you tru rising from the bottom foundation,
Can you be seen as equal to women, after you earn their respect. And respect can only be earned by not giving in to their bs.
So dont give in to this poster, call her and other women out on their shit, and keep it moving.
Over time you will either be a top bloke or at least get some respeck from these chicks 😉.
Its likely you already understand these things without my clinical approach to it, but i just wanted to affirm to you that your opinions aren't wrong, and dont be ashamed to have them
@lord_chilled Yes MilkCake girl has not seen the other side of the mountain. So the mountain will always be greener for her.
I have a best friend who's a guy who's good looking an I'm not attracted to him in a sexual way so 🤷 what you saying?
It's possible to be just friends, not trying to have sex but with a more warm slightly erotic undertone.
Why? Because one wants to stick their penis in the other.
You can be friends when young, but as you get older, you want a special someone, and there is still only a fews to going about that.
So that's why the probability for guys to get fucked is so low. Interesting, and also why girls never take the initiative.
If you are a Girl and you are Beautiful and Hot, WE CAN'T be friends!
It's something stronger than we men, nothing personal.
Exactly. It's called biology. People who disagree are having problems understanding definitions and the meanings associated with them.
@vyvyn @vyvyn I really did not understand why so many negatives?
I just told the truth.
Imagine me in a relationship of friendship with an extremely beautiful, intelligent woma... I will not want sex or anything else with her? Of course I will.
I do not hate or just want sex, I would just get away from her! It would be the right thing to do. Or the people who denied me would "pretend" a totally artificial friendship, being fake?
Too many hypocrites!! In the first beautiful woman/man become friends more in Friendzone wanting a piece of bone like a dog or attention.
@didigo182 Yes I get what you mean. Ignore the other people! They're just hypocrites.
@vyvyn Thank you.
You are right. Too much hypocrisy of some people.
We can there's often potential for love interest but its not always there.
I was friends with my wife before we started dating and got married.
Can you not see how your sentence just proved my point?
@MrOracle This shows there was potential for their friendship to grow into something more when they were 'friends', meaning they couldn't have simply been JUST friends. Eventually the would have moved out of the friendship category for there was clearly an intent for something further to develop if their relationship escalated to the point of marriage.
@vyvyn Nailed it
They can but not enough people respect boundaries, and a lot never bother to learn how to control they're emotions in my opinion
Exactly. You can't control your genes.
@vyvyn I believe it to be more conditioning than genes but it could be genes however. Who knows right?
Well I'd say that we're conditioned to control our sex drives (ie. not have sex) yet our genetics tell us to do it regardless the situation.
men and women can be friends if neither side is attracted to eachother. i have female friends
Men and women can't be *close* friends, but they can be acquaintances.
I think I agree. "Acquaintances" is a much better term to describe platonic female and male relations.
@vyvyn definitely. Men and women who become close friends are going to end-up building intimacy, and when combined with their drives to mate, at least one of them is going to develop emotions. That's where we get this laughable notion of "friends with benefits".
Men and women can be friends...
You say so with uncertainty.
@vyvyn Haha!
Did it ever occur to anyone that this might be a maturity issue? What about female family members? Do I want to secretly fuck them because they have a vagina between their legs? WTF?
Um, ever heard of incest?
@vyvyn Yes, I have... sooooo, I pose the question again... Do I secretly want to fuck my female relatives? Thanks for making me puke!!!
Considering you are human, and the answer to this question applies to humans in general, then most likely yes. That is, unless you are a new type of species.
@vyvyn Ah... sorry, I have NO desire to fuck my mom, sisters... or any female relatives. Do you secretly want to fuck your dad or other male relatives? YUCK!!!
Apparently, guys claim they have two 'brains'; one is in his head, and the other his penis.
@vyvyn Most guys CAN "wall off" certain women - family members or their buddy's girl or whatever, and they don't have to spend a lot of intimate time with them. A good friend is different - that's someone you CHOOSE to spend a lot of time with and be close with - which makes it much, MUCH harder to contain your sexual desires.
@ MrOracle This isn't like cheating where you have a conscious choice to choose not to cheat. Similarly, although men can choose to be friends with women and vice versa, your question begs for a stance on whether they can 'just' remain as friends. The answer is they cannot. "Walling off" certain females, which I presume you mean suppressing the need to have sex with them by removing yourself from their presence when you feel horny, does not help to control the erected state of your penis if you, as a male, are sexually aroused by another female regardless her identity.
I mean it's clearly true and anyone who thinks it's not is deluding themselves.
Bullshit
Yup, total bullshit, but he actually beleives it.. probably because it perfectly applies to HIM
I'm roflmaoing so hard at this, I can't even-
I know. He's totally clueless.
one of best takes here, great job