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Loneliness - How Social Media Accentuates It And How I Deal With It

Loneliness - How Social Media Accentuates It And How I Deal With It

It's ironic that the thing we use to connect us and allows us to be 'social' can do the exact opposite for some people. I recently thought to myself that I don't feel lonely, but social media is usually what brings on feelings of loneliness. That surely sends a message about social media and loneliness.

I'm sure you've once looked at someone's profile/post and thought they had many friends and felt happy about their life and you envied them... even just a little. But that person may not view themselves that way and things may be a little rocky behind closed doors. On social media, all you see are people's identities that they want you to see.

Seeing people post about events and things they're going to with their friends, seeing people tagging their friends in posts and the amount of support they may get on a status; it's easy to compare yourself and your life to theirs.

It seems if you're not making an online identity for yourself that fits the social norm, then you have no identity, purpose or worth, which is simply not true.

In my studies, it briefly discussed how people use social media to create an identity about themselves to portray to others. It suggested that people who have lots of friends on Facebook, pictures with friends, who go on holidays etc and share these things with others are seen as being in the 'in-group' and people who don't share this online or who haven't got many Facebook friends are seen to be in the 'out-group' and may feel excluded socially. It seems if you're not making an online identity for yourself that fits the social norm, then you have no identity, purpose or worth, which is simply not true.

If you identify with the 'out-group' it doesn't necessarily mean that you're in the 'out-group' - most people do not care much for social media, you can have a great social life without the need for sharing it on social media and not everyone in the 'in-group' may look at people as being an outcast if they don't have many social media friends, but it seems to be a general principle and for some, their appearance online is very important to them and it seems more important to teenagers in school. It's something that should be taken seriously as it can be really damaging to some people's self esteem and how they view themselves.

Loneliness - How Social Media Accentuates It And How I Deal With It

The emotionally damaging emotions that come with feelings of loneliness are worsened because of our current social media obsessed society. I stave off feelings of loneliness by reminding myself that it's okay to be who I am. It may not be viewed as socially ideal, but it's not wrong to enjoy your own company. However, I think it's really easy for some people to become stuck on the idea that they're in this 'out-group' and they wish to be out of it and this is when things start causing problems (help link below).

I stave off feelings of loneliness by reminding myself that it's okay to be who I am. It may not be viewed as socially ideal, but it's not wrong to enjoy your own company.

I am someone who hasn't got any IRL friends anymore (for good reason I might add). I was initially ashamed to admit it but recently I've noticed it's actually really common. I'm often finding myself torn between loneliness and feeling comfortable. My mother has said to me that if I'm happy as I am and don't feel the need to socialise (she also feels the same way) then what's the problem? It seems each year of my life, I've started to learn who I am and what I enjoy and what I don't. But every now and then going on social media, combined with a low mood, can cause me to start questioning myself and my lack of friends.

It seems that if you are seen to have no friends, you're viewed as being weird or there's something wrong with you. You're the common denominator and people don't seem interested in finding out why you may not have any friends. In my case, I have too much respect for myself to continue hanging with people who are harmful to me, who do not respect me and take advantage of me for the sole purpose of looking like I am a liked, popular and a friendly person in the eyes of society.

So in the words of this song:


I am who I am meant to be, this is me and I make no apologies!

And that goes for those of you out there who are feeling lonely or feel like there's something wrong with you because you have no friends. It's okay to be alone.

If you're struggling with loneliness though, please get help for yourself. ♥

Loneliness - How Social Media Accentuates It And How I Deal With It
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