Why Did He Choose HER Over YOU? The Ugly Truth.

I'm sure almost every girl on this planet has been with a guy who never called her his girlfriend or he said he didn't want anything serious. Yet the next girl he's with is not only being called "girlfriend" , but in many cases they get engaged or even married.

Recently a friend of mine was sad because the guy she was dating never wanted to call her his girlfriend, he left her and he got engaged to the girl he met after my friend. She was so angry about it, that she never saw what did she wrong..

Why is that? We start asking ourselves "Why her?", "What did he see in her?", "What does she have, that I don't?", "She doesn't look better!!" and so on..

Why Did He Choose HER Over YOU? The Ugly Truth.

There are two options:

FIRST: he simply didn't want anything serious at the time he was dating you

or SECOND: If you've made it to a relationship with the guy, but then he broke up with you, then here's why he found someone else for getting more serious with...

1. The way she acts.

Have you ever found yourself in situation where you're being too obsessed with a guy? You're texting all the time, you want to be with him all the time.. etc. Nothing wrong with that, I'm sure every girl does it with pure intentions, but this gives the guy no freedom or personal space. If he can have you all the time, he'll eventually get tired of you.

When he, on the other hand, is with a girl and is able to keep his "freedom", going out with the guys, watching sports .. and so on, it's highly possible that he would choose such a girl.

2. She has the same lifestyle.

I, as many other girls, have been with guys who didn't match my lifestyle. It doesn't matter how much you like a guy if his vision of a perfect Saturday night is going out partying and yours is staying home, cuddling and watching movies, this may cause problems at a certain point of the relationship.

3. She doesn't nag!

I find this really important! Many of my girl friends are too naggy and believe me, NO GUY likes that! If you've reacted negatively to every time he wanted to go play poker or chill with the guys with phrases like "Are you going out with them again.. you need to spend more time with me!" or something similar, this won't bring you further.

Imagine the new girl he's with instead of nagging just saying "Oh you're going out with the guys? Have fun, honey and greet them from me!" and then she uses the time without him for herself. He would definitely go for that!!

4. His friends like her more.

Sounds a bit superficial, but it's highly possible that I guy steps further with a girl, who's also like from his friends.

5. Attraction.

She may not be prettier than you, but don't forget that everyone has their own view on attraction. And sometimes that doesn't even mean "prettier or skinnier". Sometimes the level of confidence plays a HUUUGE role! If the other girl is way more confident than you, this attracts.

6. Being positive.

I know we can't be happy and see everything through pink glasses all the time. But if you were negative really often, or complained every day after work this is a turn off. A positive attitude, when the things are not that perfect is also an attraction. So maybe instead of complaining after work she says "Babe, let's forget about the stress and have a great night together!"

My dear ladies, please DON'T LOSE YOURSELVES when you like someone. Don't forget that you've had a life and were happy before you met him. Don't get too obsessed... just try to enjoy it and don't try to push it!

These are some of the things I've noticed from friends or personal experience that apply almost all the time. And instead of being angry, that someone didn't pick me I really tried to see the mistakes I was making. We all love being surrounded of positive people and good vibes, so try to create ones yourself. Don't be negative, don't hate, enjoy life, grow and DON'T settle for anything less than what you deserve. Why Did He Choose HER Over YOU? The Ugly Truth.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Veeeryyyy true! Nicely written, lady!
    I really highly agree with those 2

    3. She doesn't nag!
    6. Being positive.

    Nagging is KILLING! Well, not literally but we won't feel alive anymore after a session of nagging or bitching. There are other ways to deliver the message to us laid back dudes and screaming like a siren will not get you any further (just a pro tip).

    And why make an evening after work a fighting disaster when the time can be spend in the opposite direction instead? I think this one does not need any more explanation since you said so yourself.

    And also sexual compatibility! Because we are men and we are filled with those testosterone and high libido in our bodies, we will need regular "releases" and love-making in order to feel loved and wanted by our favorite lady. It's one surefire direct way to get to our hearts πŸ’“πŸ’‹

    You totally got the hang of it lady πŸ‘
    Now tell me, did you happen to observe boys in your laboratory since you know so much about us πŸ˜πŸ¦„?

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    • Hahaha :D First I want to say thank you :)

      And second, it's just negative and positive experience. In my first real relationship I really lost myself and started acting like an obsessed bitch, after the guy ended it (of course) it was a HUGE wake up call for me. And usually I'm exactly the "right" type of girl from my article... so after that I never lost myself again and always acted cool.. it's who I am, I never liked nagging or fighting. So happy that I got a second chance with my guy, only because he saw the "real me". We'll see what the future holds for us now, but all I've said in the take I know it's true.

    • Cool 😊
      Good luck with your relationship.
      I'm looking forward to meet *my* lady, who will become my girlfriend πŸ’•
      I can't wait...

    • l understand every thing that you say l hope it all works out for the both of you

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't forget sexual chemistry! If you are a sex-once-a-week kind of girl and blowjobs are her favorite way to spend time, that could be a factor too! Or vice-versa, maybe you bug him for sex all the time but he's more a once-a-week kind of guy, or you're simply into different things.

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    • So true! I forgot to mention it above, thanks for reminding me. They say sex is not all.. but let's be honest it's not all but it's a really big part of a relationship. And it's true that it becomes better with the time, but for me is also of a huge importance to click instantly with my partner.

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What Guys Said 23

  • Relationship is a dance of two. Both people are required to dance. They compromise for the dance but they have to be willing.

    There is only one reason why a guy is leaving a relationshipwith a woman: He doesn't feel comfortable being with her.

    Maybe it's the nagging, maybe it's the smell or the pressure or whatever. The relationship became uncomfortable. It became a responsibility he doesn't want. A job that doesn't pay as well as it should. A duty he didn't volunteer.

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  • You're on the right track... but it's still self-entitled solipsism. When you can identify that and break out of it you'll have the key.

    The main point you're missing is what is most important to the guy! You're still totally focused on YOU!

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    • Because it's written for the female audience. I am a girl myself, but I would love hear from a guy's perspective what do they find important :)

  • Well said. Friends are not the biggest role if you take introverts into consideration, but the rest is truly important. In my opinion, a girl who understands and respects each other's personal space is an important first sign to a healthy relationship.

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  • 7. She is comfortable with the idea of sex, acknowledges it is human nature so doesn't get weird about it, feeling ashamed about having sexual desires, whilst slut shaming other girls who she assumes sleeps around without any proof.

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  • Not sure if this falls under one of those, but I REALLY like a girl who doesn't lie to me. Those are rare. Women lie compulsively; it's like they aren't ever willing to just be honest.
    How are you?"
    *Frosty tones* "Fine!"
    "Wait; what's wrong?"
    "Nothing!"

    And manipulate by withholding the truth.
    "I'm hungry; what do you want for supper?"
    "I dunno; chinese?"
    No, we had that last week."
    "Korean?"
    "no, too spicy."
    "Pizza? I could call for delivery..."
    "You never take me anywhere!"
    Ladies, if you have your heart set on Italian, at a restaurant, and you've already decided what you want to wear, don't make your man pull it out of you one question at a time; Just say "I want to go out to that new Italian place. Hungry?"

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  • I am sorry about your plight it is so easy to be left behind. Sadly it has to happen to someone hope it is not me. Like being in a compertion ,, there is only one winner.. But when it comes to B/F well they are so fickle , it could just be down to a smile,,, hoping next time you are the winning smile xxxxx

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  • if you were male I would look forward to a male version of this. that's some good stuff

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    • Well, I bet you could share the "male version" with us :)

    • not really I've been out of any kind of relationship for 5 years and there's no spark of hope left haha I mean I am all that but I act like a girl with the same kind of behavoir on your list (the good ones) and by the way I've drank a little and am in a party mood so don't take my words too srsly

  • @sally421 "DON'T settle for anything less than what you deserve."

    I believe this statement has the most effects making these women sad, ironically, as they assume too high of themselves and then think they deserve a good mate (who then proceeds to dump her)
    But men never had this problem, as they ALWAYS date below their league

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  • I think it may be the second.
    But who really knows? It may be that this time was the right time too or... Whatever we say are merely assumptions. But one thing is sure. What's not mean to be.
    Better not be.
    And chin up your head and see ahead on the future. It may be coming your real one

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  • These are all realistic reasons why a guy would choose one woman over another.

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  • Yeah growing pains, you might have to humbly understand that your not the right one, you should not get on your knees because that is just embarrassing. But everyone has room for self-improvement.

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  • He chose her sometimes because she's hotter and better in bed.

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  • I agree with 3 and 6. Not so much with 2 or 4. Definitely not with 1.

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    • If you don't agree with 1. , are you saying that you don't need freedom and someone who forgets about their life, so they could be 24/7 available for you? What is your point of view?

    • Show All
    • Not even that. I've known way too many in relationships with those types especially in high school.

    • Highschool... I won't even talk about it , they are too young, no need to think on things that way.

  • She doesn't try to "fix" him.

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  • Because she takes it up the ass and you don't.

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  • Nice

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  • This is actually pretty accurate

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  • Interesting take...

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  • This isn't accurate at all

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  • Because they have bad taste.

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What Girls Said 12

  • In my experience it's always the naggy ones that get married... The guys I know all go for bitchy housewives of orange county types, they want an image... Someone who will spend their money and complain all the time... Doesn't make any sense logically but Everytime I'm at another wedding it's a clone of the same girl.

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    • I've always noticed that as well, but you know what? Every girl that I knew and I thought to myself "Oh, she's so naggy, how could she get a boyfriend?" , are now either divorced or simply they broke up. It just takes its time till the guy is not so head over heels in love and sees the "real naggy monster"

    • So then she gets his money and he decides he hates women and the fairytale starts all over

  • My last ex wanted a baby and I didn't. So he got one from his next girlfriend pretty fast and then married her. And of course he contacted me (by mail and with flowers sent at my office) to say he missed me and that we should be friends. I sent him a "No, fuck you very much".

    So yeah, sometimes, it's just cause he's an asshole and you just got lucky he didn't get more serious. Like for me, I really fell that an angel was looking after me and that it really was a big blessing in disguise. Yay! :-)

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  • It doesn't really matter why. The fact is it happened and you kind of just have to get over it. But yeah nice take and stufff

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  • this is just my take...
    he chose her over me cause he didn't want to commit
    he chose her over me cause her legs were doors
    he chose her over me cause times were rough he couldn't pull through
    he chose her over me cause he didn't want to be a dad
    he chose her over me cause they had history
    he chose her over me cause i wouldn't get on my knees

    in the relationship im in now things are so much different they always told me i was argumentative but i realized in this one year I've been with my boyfriend that we haven't had a real argument where we get mad and yell or give each other the silent treatment i always thought i was the problem s i kept trying to fix myself but now more then ever i see it was never me it was them and not all guys are like this but the ones I've gotten are shitty guys exist shitty girls do too but so do good ones but this is an interesting view

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    • Well, what you've said is also true. Sometimes you're just with the wrong guy. I'm not saying to change for a guy who doesn't worth it, if he's an asshole to you, you damn leave!

  • Interesting take!

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  • This situation sucks but it is probably true.

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  • The ocean is full with fishes move on.

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  • The ugly truth is... because I'm ugly.

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  • In my case she makes more money than I do.
    And it was easier to start something new instead of working it out.

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  • I can’t relate... I read through it and yet can’t really relate cuz I’ve never been asked out

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    • I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm sure that the guy for you will come!

  • I think ugly is the answer and why it is in the title of this MyTake

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  • I believe there is a thing called compatibility , every one has their own short comings , I don't believe in the thing called 'not good enough'. So at the same time I believe a guy will love you even if you are needy, you nag , you do what ever. If someone doesn't commit, just mean he/she is not the right person, I don't really think people need to overthink about the reasons

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    • Compatibility of course! But I hardly doubt any guy will like having a naggy, needy girl.. it could work out for a while.. till he's super blinded in love.. as long as that feeling starts fading away.. most of the guys will leave, they could even divorce.

    • Yeah that needs to be solved, see if the guy is willing to help her solve it or leave her for someone else

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